AISubs v3.5
Next up is "Useful Tips for Kids", unreleased special!
When you're walking in the city and your buttocks start itching,
is there a way of scratching your buttocks that people don't notice?
Do you scratch your buttocks when you walk in the city?
You do, don't you?
If you don't scratch it properly, why would you scratch it?
It's still there, isn't it?
If it's still there, does that mean you're scratching it?
You're not scratching it?
If you scratch it properly, does that mean you're scratching it?
It does, doesn't it?
So does your buttocks itch?
Or is it the other way around?
I don't know if it's the other way around or not,
but isn't there a way of doing it?
No one does it like that.
It's like crossing a chain.
Isn't that embarrassing?
Why do you cross a chain like that?
On a sidewalk, like this...
Even if you cross it, you can't cross it like that everywhere!
You have to look for it when you cross it!
It's even worse if you can't do it like that!
Why can't you cross a chain like that?
Anyway, please tell me a way that's not embarrassing!
Okay, I got it. I'll tell you.
This is pretty rough, but...
You're walking, aren't you? Where are you walking?
It's better to walk where there's a lot of people.
Shinjuku?
Yes, anywhere in Shinjuku.
Your buttocks itched in Shinjuku.
Then please look for a alley.
You enter an alley like this...
Wait, wait, wait!
What is it?
Why are you laughing like that?
I'm just answering your question.
It's not like I didn't think of it.
If you don't enter an alley, no one will think of it!
I'm telling you.
It's not like I didn't think of it.
Why are you laughing?!
I'm not answering anything!
I have a question for the blues queen, Matsumoto- san.
Yes, yes, yes.
How can you sing like Matsumoto-san?
Blues, right? Blues are very difficult.
There's a lot of it.
No, no, there's a lot of difficult things.
Isn't the blues queen an a**hole?
Well, you know, she became like that.
Like that!
She's a genius!
She's a genius.
She held my hand and said, "I'll leave the rest to you."
What was she saying?
"I'll leave the rest to you," like that.
Don't be so stupid!
It's not like that!
Who wants to promote my blues?
It's not like that!
There must be a lot of it in her.
Yes, yes, yes.
As a result of that, she said, "I'll leave the rest to you."
- I said it twice. - You said it twice.
Blues isn't about being good or bad.
This is one thing I can say.
Blues isn't about singing.
It's about how you normally are.
How you normally are...
So...
How should I say it...
Even when you pour hot water from a pot...
Ah, it's blues.
Even when you see a dog...
Ah, it's blues.
What's going on? What's the situation?
Blues! Blues, come in!
Blues? What's blues?
You don't know what blues is, and I'm telling you about blues?
No, I mean, what...
Why are you singing like that?
If you sang like that, you'd know what blues is.
Ah, are you asleep?
Are you sleepy?
Blues...
Blues... Where does it come from?
I don't know at all.
Ladies and gentlemen...
We're going to talk about animals that inhabit Hokkaido's Mutsugoro Kingdom.
Recently, a stray cat in my neighborhood has been pooping all over my garden.
Is there any good way to deal with it?
Isn't there something you can do so that it doesn't get drunk?
Is it a pet bottle?
Ah, it's a pet bottle, but you just leave it like that...
Don't you have one?
What is it?
Something you can say so it doesn't get drunk...
The best thing is dog poop.
It's a problem that there's dog poop in the garden...
Why do you have to cover it up with dog poop?
Think about it. Imagine you're a cat.
I hate dogs!
If I say it, I'll poop too!
You'd never say it, would you?
Is dog poop really expensive?
I wouldn't ask you that, because you're already famous for pooping.
Besides, if you ask me about it, I'd be told it's dog poop.
Who wouldn't go there?!
- That's how cats feel, right? - That's how cats feel, of course.
There's a saying, "Put water in a bottle and leave it there," but that's superstition.
- Oh, really? - Yes.
Besides, cats don't know what a bottle is.
Of course they don't! Cats don't run away from bottles!
What do you think they're running away from?
I mean, what's wrong with the light? Is it broken or something?
What's wrong with the light? Do cats run away when they see light?!
Then, what about my star's light?
I'm getting old.
Lastly, let's listen to their talk, which we couldn't show you last week.
There's a legend that the shops you go to are always crowded.
That's true. That's really true.
For example, if I go to a place where there's no one and eat there, I realize it's full of people.
That happens! Right? Doesn't it? It happens.
But it's amazing. It's completely different from you.
You're an ordinary person, and you'd sit there for a while and it'd be full of seats, right?
For me, it's amazing when I eat there. It's lined up outside, too.
Until a while ago, there was no one there, but now it's lined up outside, too.
And where do you eat?
It's amazing. Even the people who want to work part- time are going around.
Even the security guards are helping.
Even the partners and the old ladies are like "me too, me too."
The other day, you got beaten up in a bar.
I'm very sad about it.
Please tell me how to tell apart bars and shops that beat people up.
If you see a bar and think it's wrong, please tell me.
Well, to be honest, even with my sharp eyes, just by looking at the store,
I don't know.
You don't know?!
I mean, just by looking at the door screen.
But once you go in, you know right away.
But once you go in...
You don't pay attention.
You say "Ah!" and stuff like that.
It happens a lot, you know, with cell phones.
Recently, people have been carrying cell phones.
And you go in like "Ah, hello?" and go out like "Huh?"
Outside.
I see.
But you don't go back like that.
I see, I see, once you go in...
It seems like you eat and run away a lot.
Oh, you're right.
Once you go in, you don't know which one you should look at.
This is dangerous.
Then, checkpoints.
Checkpoints.
First of all, on the counter, there's an old woman with a weird name selling Trump.
Me?!
How many years ago was that?!
Hey, there's no way an old woman with a weird name would be interested in that!
Um...
When you pay...
"We don't have that kind of money!" you say...
You're in trouble.
It's like that!
Don't talk about it like that!
You're already in trouble!
You're going to go out like that!
Um...
Well...
There's a lot of things...
Why are you smiling like that?
Say it with more energy!
There are a lot of checkpoints!
You're lying!
There's a lot of things!
There is!
Just say it!
There is!
Let's say it!
Let's say it for real!
No, for real!
For real!
First of all, the moment you enter...
It's dim.
I see.
I understand that.
Then...
Um...
There are no cash registers.
No cash registers.
Everyone...
Everyone is on good terms.
Everyone...
Everyone is happy.
What are you doing?
Can you do it?
If you make me say like that, can you do it?
No, we don't make you say like that.
Even you say like that, can you do it?
No, we don't make you say like that.
I'm sorry.
I said it in a bad way.
I don't feel good anymore.
I still had a lot.
I'm sorry.
If you look at me like that, I can't say anything.
What did you say?
I don't want to say it anymore.