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Ladies and gentlemen...
It's been a long time since I last saw you!
Well, it's been two and a half months since I last saw you.
Oh, is that so?
I wasn't here on March 11th.
Well, you weren't.
No, I was!
Well, you know, the atmosphere...
What atmosphere?
You know, mentally...
No, no, no! I was! I was!
Well, you know, I was hiding it from you, but...
Well, it's not like the set hasn't changed...
Oh, well, you know...
Oh, is that so?
Otherwise...
Speaking of changing, you've become a little Hawaiian.
Hawaiian?!
There's no such thing as "Hawaiian"!
You're Hawaiian, aren't you?!
No, I'm not.
What's with the dumbfounded face?!
Don't you know what "Hawaiian" is?!
You don't know?!
Well, hey, hey...
I think you'll know by next week's "Nakabakura".
Now you're making me understand!
Oh, is that so?!
Oh, you weren't doing it that much?!
I don't think I was...
Oh, that's weird...
Yeah, yeah...
But if 100% of it is wrong...
Yeah...
What would it be like?
Hmm...
Well, it should be corrected by 7 or 8 o'clock...
Oh, is that so?!
But I can't run...
You can't run?!
Yeah...
Why is that?
Because it hurts!
Wow...
That's an easy answer...
The professor's staff made me something big...
What is it?
This...
If you get tired from talking, you can talk like this.
You're like a standing master.
You're so cool.
I'm not saying it now, but you're like a standing master.
Oh, really? You're so cool.
Anyway, you're too naive!
I've been standing and walking for a long time!
Why? We're good friends!
If you say something like "how's your knee?", I always say "ouch, ouch, ouch!".
That's terrible. I wanted to talk and see everyone's faces as soon as possible.
That's the best thing.
Why are you laughing?
It was long, wasn't it?
If it was just broken, it would have been faster.
This human body was saying it.
If it was just the same age, you should have fixed all the bad parts.
You don't have any!
You're just standing there!
What's with you?! Why are you covered in scratches?!
Hey!
What's with you?!
Why are you covered in scratches?!
My leather was turned over a little while ago.
Your leather was turned over?
There's no reason for it to be turned over. Why is it turned over so much?!
What's with you?! It's disgusting!
What's with you?!
I was wondering if I could play golf, and as I was swinging, it started to get sticky.
Oh, you couldn't catch up?
I couldn't catch up.
You haven't been playing for a long time?
I haven't been playing for a long time.
I see.
In the meantime, I should have fixed a lot of things.
What? For example? Is there something wrong with me?
Um... you don't have to cut the line of reply.
Oh, you!
That's right.
You're angry at the line of reply, aren't you?
You're angry, aren't you?
I'm not fine with it, aren't I?
Your line of reply is really hot!
Oh, you're angry at the line of reply?
Yeah.
Huh? Me?
You're angry at the line of reply, aren't you?
Both of you are!
Oh, you are?
Um...
Well, next week is the last episode.
Honda, stop talking!
If you look back, it's like you're in a movie.
No, it's like you're one step ahead of the moment when a candle's flame goes out.
I did it again, didn't I?
What did you do?
Prophecy.
Prophecy? You didn't just happen to say that.
You know, there are times when meteorites fall.
Didn't you have that?
Of course I did, but you kept saying you didn't have enough glasses.
I didn't lack anything!
If you hear this, you'll be surprised.
You're wearing them properly!
No, you were prepared for it.
If you hear this, you'll be surprised.
I... you know...
What is it?
I'm embarrassed.
It's me!
The world is like a well under water.
This guy is stupid.
When I did "photographed words"...
It was about two years ago.
There was a picture of Director Oogi.
And Director Oogi had this...
He had this face in the picture.
When I saw it, I said I didn't have a house.
A few months later, during the earthquake...
You had a house?
Yes!
When I saw Kobe's city, I said I didn't have a house!
It's scary, isn't it?
No.
Wow!
Wow?
It's really cool, isn't it?
Why?
It's cool, isn't it?
That's why I don't say bad things.
You get everything right.
Don't be stupid.
Your broken bone...
Don't lie!
Actually, I knew about it.
Why did you say that?
No, it's not like that.
I didn't dare say it.
If I say it, it's like...
But, you know...
I've teamed up with you for... how many years?
Six years.
It's been 16 years.
When we teamed up...
You have a broken bone.
When did you start doing that?
Since that day, I've been thinking about whether I should do manzai or not.
When did you start doing that? Why don't you say something about it?
It doesn't matter if I say something about it.
When will you completely...
What did you say?
When will you completely recover?
In about a month.
Really?
Yes.
That's a long time. You're getting older.
It doesn't matter if you're young or not. You'll recover soon.
It doesn't matter.
Really?
If it's a bone, you'll recover soon.
I see.
You've never broken a bone, have you?
That's right. I've never broken a bone.
What?
I haven't.
That's right.
I've never broken a bone or injured my body.
That's annoying.
By the way, if I were to say something to you...
Including you and the audience and people who watch TV...
If I were to say something to you...
It's bean sprouts pee.
It's bean sprouts pee, so you'll break a bone, won't you?
I wrote each and every one of them down for you.
I'm really trying to teach you everything.
Hey, you!
Hey, you! Don't you have any manners?
I don't know why you don't try to teach me more.
Do you understand?
For example, when you take off the rubber band...
You don't take it off right away.
You force yourself to do it, but you still take it off.
That's how you train your body.
For example, it's easy to take off the rubber band like this...
But when you turn like this and take it off like this...
This is...
Is it okay?
This part is already trained.
I've noticed it already. You can do six of them like this.
Can you really do six of them like this?
No, really.
Whatever it is...
Damage...
Damage?!
You're bullying me, aren't you?!
Damage and lucky!
Do you understand?
No, no. If you say it like that, I understand.
You want me to train my body more, don't you?
But you don't drink milk, do you?
If you don't drink milk...
It's not like I don't drink it, but...
If you drink milk, you can't break your bones with such a small amount of milk.
Are you crazy?! If you drink milk, you can't break your bones!
No, you definitely can't.
I don't care if Masu Oyama chops me here.
I know how to train like that.
You can tell by looking at me, can't you?
Can I chop you?
No, no.
You're not Masu Oyama, so...
Wait a minute!
If you're Masu Oyama, you can definitely break your bones.
But if it's me, I don't care. It's weird chocolate, so it's okay.
So it doesn't mean anything anymore, does it?
I'm fine. It's not like I'm fine, but it's like I'm fine.
Even though you're injured in your legs, you shouldn't drink so much like that.
Shut up!
Okay, that's enough. Do it.
What?
Hurry up and do it!
What did you say?!
That's the sound here, right?
It hurts so much!
No, it's fine.
You have a different way of saying it.
You know, really...
Why do you all eat so much bean sprouts?
Don't you eat too much modern food?
It's not like that.
What do you usually eat?
For me, it's senmai.
It's not senmai. It's brown rice.
It's brown rice.
Give me a break!
No, it's not like that.
Don't say that in front of real martial artists!
I'm serious!
You eat brown rice, right?
Brown rice, right?
Brown rice.
If you think sports are good for you, you're making a big mistake.
I see.
You shouldn't do sports at all.
What's that?
You said you wanted to train yourself.
Training and doing sports are different.
Exercising in everyday life is good because it's a body made for exercising.
For example, taking off your rubber band.
Taking off your rubber band is normal in everyday life, so it's fine.
But putting it down...
It's unnecessary in everyday life.
So let's reject it!
What?
Reject it?
Let's reject it!
That's what makes your body more mature.
Is it like that for everything?
Of course.
No one tells you to kick like that!
Right?
That's how it is.
But in the end, when you're a martial artist, your legs are like this.
That's because you're desperate.
You're going crazy.
Are you crazy?
Desperate for what?
You're trying to catch up.
Really? Really?!
If you use your muscles, you'll think it's fine.
But if you use it strangely...
Really? Really?!
You'll go like this.
Can't you do it with your loose legs?
It's not like that.
It's fine if you do it with your loose legs, but it's like that.
Me too! Me too! Me too! Me too!
Don't say it twice!
At first, say it to a boy.
The second time, say it to a girl.
Me too! Me too! Me too!
It's no good.
Sports...
For example, you can do it on the Famicom.
On the Famicom?
You'll move your fingers!
Do you know of Starbucks?
You know that thing that goes "brrrrr" when you do this?
And when you defeat a big boss, it goes "brrrrr" too.
So you hit the big boss in the ass the moment you defeat it.
It's like "brrrrr" and it feels good.
That's a big boss for you!
It's not that stimulating for a small character.
No, I didn't make it for that.
That's a special kind of stimulation.
Oh, that!
You defeat a lot of things in the beginning.
Like "nurse" and "stewardess" come out.
And when you defeat them, it goes "brrrrr".
So while you're doing it, enemies come?
No, since it's a boss, once you defeat it, you rest for a while.
So you don't have to rest for a while?
It's like "brrrrr" and it feels good.
So you defeat it like "brrrrr" and it goes "brrrrr".
Today and on the next stage, I feel good.
You stink!
I'm sorry.
Don't say it like that. I'll do it.
Is that so?
This has nothing to do with it, but...
...does this car in Tokyo stink?
I've been saying it for a long time.
Why is this car in Kagami-niin?
What's going on?
There's a "t" character, right?
There's definitely a "k" character here!
Isn't that a "mini"?
What?
Look at it!
What do you mean? Are you trying to say it's a "mini"?
No! There's a "k" character here, right?
There's a "k" character here, right?
If you look at it from Kagami-annin, you can tell it's a "sleum".
My bonnet is coming out!
That's because you're looking at it!
You're wearing it!
It's coming out!
Even if it's only half of it, it won't get in the way!
Your face is more of a "disney" than your bonnet!
Hey!
You've been sitting here for a long time!
It's still hot in the taxi.
Do you know that thing in the taxi?
You open the door and it comes out, right?
You close it and it comes out, right?
I did it once and I got really mad.
Do you know why I got so mad?
There's that thing that goes "gah" and you close it and it goes "gah" and hits you in the back.
That's why I get really mad.
I know a similar talent.
You mean similar?
Yes, yes. Was it Dentsu?
No, I don't know.
It's the same kind of talent.
Tsurui-san has three similar talents.
It's strange, but she doesn't want to know about her own similar talent.
But when you call her, she tells you about it.
Oh, does she?
I think your similar talent is Izumiya Shigeru.
Oh, I've heard that before.
Isn't it?
I think it is.
It's not in the "Women's Weekly Magazine" anymore.
It's not about who's similar and who's not.
It's not like that.
It's about character.
Matsu Takago and Hong Kong are similar, right?
Yes, they are.
Similar?
When I first heard about it, I was like "what?"
Then look at it carefully.
This is the principle of curry udon.
Yes.
Curry and udon, that's how it was back in the day.
You can pull it off at first glance, don't be stupid!
It's good, but...
Konkon and Matsutaka...
It's definitely like that.
I don't know about now, but it's similar.
It's similar.
No, I'm serious!
Do you want me to watch it again?
No, I don't know about your talent, either.
Like Izumiya Shigeru...
He's an asshole, right?
I know it's Izumiya Shigeru, but you're such a rotten talent!
Rotten talent...
Let's not do rotten talent.
Right?
I'd like to look it up, though.
Yeah...
But Konkon and Matsutaka are similar.
I'm sure of it!
Everyone's fooled.
I've been saying this for a while now...
There's a movie...
Do you know "The Last Smile"?
It's really ugly!
You can't do that!
It's not ugly, it's scary!
You've seen it, right?
I sometimes watch it on TV.
I get surprised when I see it!
You've seen it, right?
It's really ugly!
What are you making fun of me for?!
With that cute face of yours...
- Wow! - Wow, that brings back memories!
A rubber band!
Nissin-san gave it to me!
When you're like this, you'll never open your own, right?
No, I just opened it!
You know...
You're such a dirty person!
You open someone else's and just look at the atmosphere and leave it as it is!
You're such a dirty person!
I haven't been able to say it for years!
Iyan, you found out?
Even if you two open it, it's no use!
That's true, but it doesn't mean you can open it!
What's that?
Don't you need it?
- Oh, it's just a button. - No!
It's a sleeping bag, but you don't need a button!
Thank you!
I have a question for you, Mr. Mazumo.
Mr. Mazumo, you're a super underwear collector, and it seems like you choose a thousand pairs of underwear from your collection every morning.
Yes.
Can you tell me about your dream underwear, which you can drop off in one shot, no matter who you're up against?
Yes, I can.
Underwear has nothing to do with it.
With what?
You can drop it off in one shot.
But there are fashionable ones you can't show off.
I know that, but you can't drop it off in one shot just because you're wearing it.
Yes, but there are fashionable ones you can't show off.
I know that, but you can't drop it off in one shot just because you're wearing it.
Fashionable ones you can't show off...
What are you wearing today?
Today, I'm wearing something that has a little bit of an amime shape to it.
Huh?
It has an amime shape to it.
Huh?
The back of it has a little bit of poop on it.
This isn't today's poop, it's from when you went in earlier.
It's poop you can't remove.
It always has poop on it.
What kind of coffee is that?
What I'm most concerned about right now is the string.
The loooong string.
That...
How long is that supposed to be?
About two centimeters.
It's made of Persian carpet.
You can't buy it?
You can't buy it.
You have to wrap it like this.
Are you sick or something?
Why?
Are you sick or something?
No, I'm not sick. This is the most fashionable one.
It's the ultimate underwear.
In the end, if you have poop on you, you can wear underwear.
There's nothing around here anymore?
That's right.
Huh? Huh? Huh?
It doesn't get hot, it doesn't get hot.
When you do it like this, it's a little like this.
This happens sometimes.
It hurts!
Well, that's...
Tell me something!
That's what you call a "shish kebab"!
I didn't say anything like that! I just said it now!
Well, I got it, so it's not like that anymore.
Until just the other day...
I have a question for Mr. Matsumoto, who was active as a professional specialist in FBI psychological profiling.
Yes!
What should we do to distinguish between woman's acting and seriousness when having sex?
It was lightly talked about, wasn't it?
Well, at least...
The woman I've been holding up until now doesn't act.
Well, I don't stand up right now, but...
That's the worst.
I'm a historical advance.
What?
That's why I look like I do now.
Men should try it once.
What do you mean "try"?
It's like they say, right?
When I say "wow", I say "high-cut"!
But when I'm acting, I say "thank you for your hard work"!
What time is it tomorrow?
What did you do tomorrow?
He's a pro.
But if I say "wow", what would you do?
I wouldn't say "wow", but...
You're not an old man.
No, no, I know.
I didn't ask you because you don't know.
I just can't see it.
For example, you feed cats, right?
They eat a lot.
If you feed white fish, they say "what's that?"
That's the woman I've been holding.
Is that so?
Her mouth is different.
You're not the only one like that.
She jumps over the sofa.