AISubs v3.5
The first time, I, Yamazuta-ki-producer, will plan for downtown!
You can't produce, can you?
I can!
Have you bitten?
I have! I have! I have!
I have! I have! I have! I have!
Is that really okay?
You've lost weight, haven't you?
I have! I have!
Well, you're still a rookie, but...
That's weak. Your way of speaking is weak.
If it's okay with you, you don't have to change it!
But, you can't do that!
I said "it's not okay", but I didn't think you'd say "it's not okay"!
I didn't think you'd say "it's not okay"!
What do you usually do?
What do you mean, "what do you usually do"?
Do you listen to metal music?
Ah, no...
Don't talk about metal music!
You! You! You always talk about games!
It's dark!
I'm sorry!
You can't be like this!
This time, you have to go back and do what you felt like when you were a rookie.
Is it manzai?
It's manzai!
I really wrote it.
I really...
Can we do it?
Um...
It's really your work, isn't it?
Yes, it's really my work.
I thought about it a lot.
And "downtown" is an old name, so...
Um...
Well, "grand bazaar" is...
A combination of the two of you...
That's fine!
No, no, no!
It's about selling it!
Eh, what should I do with this?
Can I write it in my own way?
Or should I say each word as it is?
Ah, as it is.
It's been calculated for a long time.
Um...
Ah, hello!
It's "grand bazaar"!
Um...
Merci!
Merci is wrong!
It's "hershey"!
You crushed it too much!
You crushed me too much!
This program is brought to you by the sponsors you see here.
At first, you come out like this, right?
Yes.
And say, "Hello, we're Grand Bazaar!"
Hello, we're Grand Bazaar!
Healthy?
Huh?
Healthy?
Yes!
Healthy?
Ah, merci!
Merci.
This big, Grand Bazaar!
I was really happy.
I thought it was an interesting movement.
It was surprisingly common.
This big, Grand Bazaar!
Yes, yes.
No, I went to the zoo the other day.
Why?!
No, it's not like that.
No, I'll say it a little more clearly.
Why?!
You're dragging me!
Ah, I'm sorry.
No, I went to the zoo the other day.
Why?!
You're surprising me!
I don't know what's wrong with you!
Because you're not saying anything funny!
If you drag me like this...
I don't know what's wrong with me!
Even if you don't say it...
It's a little scary!
Should we try it?
Then, girls, okay?
Yes!
I don't know about that.
I say it!
No, you say your role.
"So you don't need me?" "No, we don't."
"Then, girls, okay?" "Yes, yes, yes!"
"Should we walk this way?" "Where?" "Let's walk this way."
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Let's walk quickly.
Here, normally you don't stop people.
Oh, don't say that stupid thing!
Don't make me stupid!
Excuse me.
Like this?
I don't know anymore!
This is so annoying!
What about the face?
With his
holy
fronty
"age." "Shut up!"
With his holy, phony age, oh yeah!
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
Come here for a second.
Why are you wearing such a suit?
Holy, phony
age.
Women
are like the sea.
Julie Young!
Why?
Well, I'm off!
Bye.
See you later.
Bye.
See you later.
Well, here we are.
Yes, here we are.
This is where we get drunk, right?
Yes.
Here we are in Osaka.
Here we are.
Osaka's specialty, punch, punch, punch.
What the hell?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
What is this moss?
Moss? What do you mean?
You can't say that.
How can you say 'what the hell' in Osaka?
When I say 'Osaka's specialty, punch, punch, punch,' you say 'what the hell is that?'
Should I say it in front of you or in front of you?
In front of you.
What the hell is that?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yes, yes, yes.
Is there anything for shaving?
Oh, here it is.
Here it is.
For shaving.
Can we just say 'what the hell' in the end?
What the hell.
Should we say 'what the hell' like this?
So it's easy to understand and it'll end.
What the hell!
Yes, me too.
Be careful at the end.
Me too?
Yes.
Can we do it together?
Can you remember?
It's all different.
It's all different, so 'kujaku no kudere' is...
Actually, it's all the opposite.
If you don't have confidence...
Yes, yes, yes.
You can't talk.
That's right.
Well, well, well.
You can't talk about details.
No, I can't talk about details!
Basic, basic!
It's okay, it's okay.
I don't think I can do it.
You can do it!
Have confidence!
More!
No, it's not like that.
Yes, yes, yes.
Have confidence.
It's not like I don't have confidence.
Don't be nervous. Don't laugh.
Seriously.
If you work hard, you can do it.
You guys can do it.
No, it's fine.
Do it, do it, do it, do it.
Do it.
It's not organized at all.
Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.
I wrote a story for downtown.
Please watch the story.
Grand Batangs!
Please!
Hello! We are Grand Batangs!
Healthy?
Healthy!
Happy Grand Batangs!
Yura, we went to the zoo the other day.
Why?!
There are a lot of things you can learn from animals.
What do you mean?
Animals are more colorful than humans.
Colorful?! Even if you say that!
For example, you sometimes pick up girls, right?
Right.
But you can't say, "Excuse me, would you like some tea?"
Well, at first...
You can't do that.
You have to learn from animals.
Animals are amazing at picking up girls.
For example, you have to learn how to say "cute" to girls.
That's really refreshing!
That's something you should learn.
But...
It's pretty, but it's too flashy!
No, it's not like that. Let's try it.
A girl, right?
Walk over here.
You can talk, you can talk like a human, but you can't pick up girls!
But...
You can stop and talk, right?
Okay, let's walk!
Excuse me for a second.
From home is Asia...
Orina is the sea...
It's Judy Ong! Why?!
What?!
It's not like that!
But it's surprising!
After all, girls are troublesome, right?
Well, it's surprising, but...
Yes.
Animals are also amazing at eating.
Oh, really? What do you mean?
Um...
No matter what you eat, it's amazing!
Yes.
Meat or vegetables, it's fresh!
- Very healthy! - Thank you!
- Look at this big grandpa! - Look at this grandpa!
- Look at this big grandpa! - What's wrong with you?!
- You fight, don't you? - Well, I have a lot of things to get angry about.
- Yes. In such cases, you can learn from Gorilla - san. - Gorilla?!
- Gorilla is amazing. - Hmm...
- Let's give it a try. - Yes.
- Oh, you can't hit me with your shoulder. - What?!
- What are you doing?! I'm telling you, I'm a karate eight-dan!
- What?! - It's a communication karaoke, though.
- What's that?! That's communication education, you idiot! Don't get it wrong! - Yes.
- You're an idiot, so do it properly!
- Well, I'm off!
- Hey, you're hitting me with your shoulder, aren't you?! - What?!
- What are you doing?! - I'm doing it!
- Hey, you look strong! - Osaka specialty, pachi pachi punch!
- What?!
- As expected, there are a lot of things you can learn from Gorilla-san.
- This is amazing.
- Um... you're busy and sometimes you can't eat, right?
- Yeah, that's true. It's tough. Even if I eat, it doesn't taste good. - Yes.
- But if I don't eat, I'll break my body, you know? - Yes, yes.
- In such cases, you can learn from Gorilla-san. Gorilla-san is nourishing from its back.
- No matter how busy you are, Gorilla-san won't make you eat while you're moving, right?
- Yes. - Gorilla-san isn't busy!
- What?! - It's really easy.
- Stop it! Forbid it!
- As expected, you can't buy animals.
- Well, I used to have a dog. - Ah, you have to buy one since you came to Tokyo, right? - That's right.
- Oh, what is it? Do you have a pet or something like that? - Of course I do.
- What do you have? - Kijirami...
- Get out of here!
It's broken.
It's messed up!
This is one strawberry.
I'm sure of it.
It's weird, isn't it?
It came out of nowhere and went to the zoo.
Why?
This is weird.
It doesn't have to go there.
And it's pulled here.
Why did you put this on?
It's cold!
You're really angry.
Stop it!
You suck!
I didn't do it.
You didn't do it!
I didn't do it!
You did it properly.
You even made me do it.
I don't like it.
You did it better!
Hey.
I'm here for a second.
It's cold.
Ladies and gentlemen...
The two of you are naive, aren't you?
Yes.
When I'm in there, I turn it around like this.
While using it...
Yes, yes.
I'm waiting for you outside.
It's like a judo club.
It's good, isn't it?
Yes, I'm in there now.
Ah...
Today...
I have to work hard and talk.
I have to take back half of it.
What do you mean, "half of it"?
It's like, "is it okay?"
Right?
If you've been watching from the beginning, you'd know.
If you've been watching from the middle, you'd know.
That's painful.
What kind of story do you think you're doing?
I've always asked you to show it here on the screen.
Today...
Yes, today...
Yamazaki's story...
In the middle of the story...
It's like, "very cold."
Yes, "very cold."
It's fine.
Everyone, you've been waiting for a long time, haven't you?
At the end of the story, what did you do?
Did you go outside once?
Didn't you fix it?
I fixed it again, but it didn't work.
Ah, I see.
At that time, what did you all do?
Maybe you're outside, lying down, aren't you?
Ah, you're right.
Smoking cigarettes.
Right?
Why didn't you come out?
Everyone, does it feel good to touch your genitals?
No...
It feels good!
Eh?
You've been touching it for a long time!
Ah, is that so?
Is that so?
When I'm holding back my time, my body touches my genitals.
It feels good to spend time like that!
When you realize it...
The five minutes of me being bored and the five minutes of me touching my genitals are completely different!
For me, it's "golden time," you know?
In a way, yes.
It seems like you've been feeling sick lately.
What's wrong with you?!
Wait a minute! You're crazy!
You're like that too!
Even after you came out, you said you felt like you had a fever and that you felt like you were having a cold.
That's not good!
Why do you get angry like that?!
I feel like I'm being taken care of!
Ah, it's okay, you know...
No, it's just a cold, a cold, a cold...
You had a cold at the end of the year, right?
No.
Huh?!
You should rest!
That's not good!
Why do you get angry like that?!
What could it be?
Again and again, I don't even need to write my height.
Where in the world do you think my height is?
I don't want anyone to know!
What could it be?
I've been to Disneyland.
I don't know.
Should I say it?
No matter how many times you say it, Cinderella Radio is funny.
Do you know it?
I know it, but I can't say it.
Because it's like a horror movie.
It's like...
Come here!
I love that kind of movie.
I can't say "Uwaaah!"
You know, the one where you go into a jungle while swimming like this.
I love it.
Whoa, a dog!
It's coming from this side!
"An elephant is eating water!" "Uwaaah! It's dangerous!"
Uwaaah!
This question is for Matsumoto-san, who was chosen as the man who looks best with cola in Japan.
Tell me how to drink cool cola.
I don't know why I don't get cola commercials anymore.
Huh?
How to drink it cool.
Let me try it.
Wow!
Old man!
You hit me twice!
Well...
Well, never mind.
Yes, yes.
Well...
I'll bring a washing machine.
I'll put a can of washing machine like this.
Like this.
The can will fly away!
No, no, no.
I'll take it seriously!
What?
How can you take it seriously?
No!
Like this!
Yes, yes, yes.
I'll put a can of washing machine like this.
I see.
This movement is cool, isn't it?
Well, well.
It doesn't matter whether you open it or not.
Well, let's start from there.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's how you drink it.
Well...
I wake up in the morning and open the curtain like this, right?
Oh, you wake up in the morning and do like this?
Isn't it obvious?
I wake up in the morning and open the curtain like this, right?
And...
Like this...
Bang!
What's that?
A colon.
What's that?
You open the curtain and do like a colon!
That's weird!
You open the curtain and do like a colon!
It doesn't matter!
And...
Bang!
I open the fridge like this.
Oh, I couldn't see it.
One more time.
I open the fridge like this.
And...
Why are you laughing?
Because of the cola.
Why do you make a face like "shime, shime"?
No, no.
Wait a minute.
Action!
What's wrong with you?
My face has changed.
I make a refreshing face.
Oh, you make a refreshing face.
And...
Bang!
And...
What's wrong with you?
And...
Bang!
It's over.
What's wrong with you?
You made a cool face and took an egg.
Coke and eggs have nothing to do with it!
Go get me a coke!
Breakfast, breakfast.
Oh, okay.
There you go.
And then...
You take it like this, right?
What's that?
This is coke.
Oh, okay.
Shushushushushushu.
There you go.
Right?
And then...
You take out the strainer and...
Shuboom!
Yeah.
And then...
Yes, coke.
What?
Someone come here!
What do you mean, "Yes, coke"?
Coke... Yes, coke... Yes!
What are you doing?
You don't know what you're doing, do you?
Oh, really?
You don't know what you're doing, do you?
Oh, okay.
Okay, well...
Wake up...
That's... That's definitely where you start.
You can say, "I'm back!"
What?
You can say, "I'm back!"
And then...
Hey, hey, hey!
Sakata, you're getting old.
Let's go somewhere cooler.
Let's go somewhere cooler...
But you're cute.
I gave him my phone.
Yes, call, yes!
And then...
He started crying.
What are you doing?
Who did you give it to?
Is there someone behind you who gave it to you?
And then...
What are you doing?
Drink it!
Even if it's made of concrete...
Even if it's dropped into the sea...
Even if it's tied to a chain and the building explodes...
Even if it escapes in five seconds...
Even if it's pulled by the third generation of weather...
Are you making a song?
Yes, yes, yes.
A big tsunami is coming from the western sea.
A large eruption and lava are coming from the eastern mountains.
A super-huge tornado is approaching from the southern earth.
A huge snowstorm is coming from the northern snowy mountains.
When you are in an emergency situation...
How do you escape from this pinch?
To put it simply...
When something always falls on me...
Somehow...
I'm a little dazed.
I really want to tell you this.
You want to say it, don't you?
I really want to say it.
Why don't you say it twice?
Because I want to say it.
I know you do, but you're wearing sunglasses.
I want to wear sunglasses.
Your right eye is wearing sunglasses.
My right eye is wearing sunglasses!
I want to wear it.
When you have something on you...
For example, you don't like it...
For example, you don't like bullying.
Right?
When you are involved in such a situation...
I want to say it.
I really want to say it.
When you are in a pinch...
Oh my god!
For example, you are being bullied.
When you are being milked...
Oh my god!
I want you...
To have your spirit with you.
Like your jaw is broken.
Do you understand?
You can't escape the spirit of "oh my god!"
Even if you say "oh my god!" to me, I still follow you.
But you haven't been bullied yet.
No, I haven't.
No, you haven't.
No, I have!
Oh, can you give me some milk?
Oh my god!
That's enough!
Stop it!
As a sex counselor in the entertainment world,
you have consulted various entertainers.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's like "I've been waiting for this!"
Yes, it's good.
Good.
When you go out for sex,
please tell me the most pleasant way of going out in the world.
What are you talking about?
Way of going out?
Way of going out.
I don't know how to go out!
For example, how is your face?
No way!
Well...
You just pushed yourself to death.
Why?
Right?
Why?
Like this...
No way!
You have to completely release yourself.
Say it out loud like this.
Like what?
Just say "ah" or whatever.
Ah!
Louder!
Ah!
Can you say it five times louder?
Ah!
I'm scared of you, woman!
I'm not scared of you!
I'm telling you, woman!
What?
I'm telling you, woman!
I'm telling you...
Can I say it?
You should go to bed!
Like this...
Wait a minute! Can you see me?
Show me!
Like this, right?
Huh?
Well, well, well...
It's your favorite picture!
Right?!
And then, when I suddenly, suddenly, suddenly, suddenly came...
Ahhhh!
Hey!
Are you going to leave me alone?
You know, everyone is too embarrassed.
No, you always say "Aah!"
I say "Aah!" and I don't limit it to "Aah!"
What else do you say?
Let's go!
No, no, let's say it normally. Sorry for saying it out loud.
Normally?
Don't say it out loud.
No, it's already started.
What is it?
Before you go, you say it out loud.
Let's go!
You say it, right?
Let's go!
It's funny if you say it three times.