AISubs v3.5
Uh-oh, you can't miss this!
In Downtown's "Gaki no Tsukai" and "Ara-hen",
the two of them have a free talk.
The recording actually takes about an hour,
so unfortunately, there are a lot of things that couldn't be broadcasted.
So tonight, we're going to show you these hidden TV unreleased talks one by one.
"Gaki no Tsukai" all-day preservation version of "Unreleased Talks".
Now gotta check this out!
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
First up is "Unreleased Talks" from January 7th.
Matsumoto-san, last month you gave birth to a boy.
How difficult was it for you? Please tell us your impressions.
- Well, I... - Hey, hey!
Well... if it's "well", I'd say it's a goat.
Huh?
- So you gave birth to a boy? - Yes, I did.
- That must have been tough, considering your age. - Yeah.
- How tough was it for you? Where does it come from? - What?
- In your case, where does it come from? - Um...
- It comes from the side of my a**. - The side of your a**? Where is it?
It comes from this side of my a**.
- You shouldn't have cut it off! - Huh?
- You shouldn't have said that! It's not even open! - No, it really was open for me.
That's why I covered it up with my little money when I was in high school.
- Your a** was cold! - I didn't want it to be cut off.
- Of course it wouldn't be exposed. - I was blonde back then.
- You were a foreigner. - Yeah, I was a foreigner.
- Your opponent. - Yeah, my opponent.
- What's his name? - Huh?
- What did you name him? - Uh... Stranger.
- Well, you know... - What does Stranger do now?
- It's his job, but... - He's now...
I think he's in K.O. twice.
- Musohara, you know... - Yeah? - You're weird.
That's impossible!
Next, an unreleased story for January 21st...
What is "Maboroshi no Unit"?
- Matsumoto-san, could you tell us one thing? - Yes.
- Komuro family's Amada-san doesn't know either, but... - Yes.
- Komuro will form "Maboroshi no Unit" this year. - Yes, yes.
- It's said that there are members who make everyone in Japan bow their heads, but... - Yes.
- Matsumoto-san, do you know about it? - Yes, I know about it.
- Well... I know about it. - What do you know about it?
I know about it through my computer.
- On the phone? Do you know about it? - Yes, I know about it.
- About the new unit? - Yes.
I'm surprised about it. But I don't know if I can say it.
- I see. - Yes.
- How many people? - Well...
- Please don't be surprised. - Yes.
- There are quite unexpected people. - Oh, really? - Yes.
Chiba Shinichi and...
a dog.
Komuro-san, what are you going to do?
You brought Chiba Shinichi and a dog.
What are you going to do?
I was surprised in a different way.
A dog...
- Are you holding it? - Yes, I am.
- When you sing, are you holding a dog? - If you look at it like that, yes.
- But it's a unit. - But you do something, you have a role.
- I'm shouting. - Are you shouting? - No, it's like this. I'm not shouting.
- I'm standing, but I have legs. - You're holding it like this.
- I'm shouting. - No, it's like this.
- Every time you move it's like this. - That's right.
- But... - Do you know it? - No, I don't know it.
- No, I don't know it.
Next, we'll talk about "Sanmonmo".
Matsumoto-san, you're famous as a supermodel.
Do you still go to Paris Fashion Week?
- This Paris Fashion Week is next month. - It's next month? - Yes.
- Where did you see it? - Paris Fashion Week.
- Paris Fashion Week in me. - What are you talking about?
- Paris Fashion Week is next month. - Oh, is it? - Yes.
- It's convenient for work. - Do you work as a model? - I do.
- It says you're a supermodel. - That's right.
- 90% of my income is from models. - You don't do that.
- You're always like that. - No, no, no. - You're always like that. - No, I put it on my crotch.
- Where did you go? - I put it on my crotch.
I still put it on my nose.
It tickles!
I still put it on my nose!
- Have you decided what kind of clothes you'll wear? - I can't say for sure.
- That kind of place is strict. - I want you to sing for me. - I'll get a fine.
- I feel sorry for you. - If you wear clothes like this in recent years, you'll be... - Really? - Yes.
- What do you mean? - I mean, you'll be stiff. - I feel sorry for you!
- You'll be told, "Hey!" - I think I'll be stiff for one song. - No, you'll be really stiff for that song.
- You'll be really stiff for that song. - I think I'll be stiff for one song. - What kind of clothes you'll wear?
- Do you know what's in fashion this year? - No, I don't know. - Even if you say something like "leader of the fashion world", you don't know, do you?
- I'm sorry, but please tell me. - Do you know what's in fashion this year? - No, I don't know at all. - You don't know that either? - Yes.
- You know "big city fashion" right? - Yes. - What was in fashion last year? - No, I don't know. - Even if you don't know that, you don't have to tell me!
Even if you don't know that, you don't have to tell me!
Last year "white" was in fashion, right?
- I just said "what?" - No, she doesn't know.
- Oh, she didn't know. - She...
- I'm sorry. - It's fine.
- This year... - 1996. - This year...
"yellow-green" is in fashion.
- "yellow-green" - "yellow-green"? - "yellow - green" is in fashion.
- Oh, is that so? - Yes.
- This time, it's a jacket. - Yes.
- I'm wearing a jacket. - Yes, yes.
- It's a pure white jacket. - No, no, no.
- That was last year! - This year, this year.
- 1996. - You!
- I'll ask you, but if "yellow-green" is in fashion, does that mean "yellow-green" is everything?
- No, it's not like that... - Wait a minute!
- "yellow-green" is in fashion! - Of course "yellow-green" is in fashion!
- No, it's not like that... - Wait a minute.
- First of all, a pure white jacket. - Ah, yes.
- A jacket is... - A jacket is a pure white jacket. - Yes, it is.
- And then... red pants.
- You're wearing a pure white jacket and you're wearing red pants? - You're wearing red pants.
- You'd wear them, wouldn't you? - I would, wouldn't I? - You would, wouldn't you? - Yes, yes.
- And then... black gloves. - Yes.
- And then... a pure blue hat. - You're wearing only primary colors!
- Well, it doesn't matter. Does this story spread? - Where did "yellow-green" come from?
- And then... - What's this?
- You're holding a bat.
It's yellow and green, it's one point, right?
You can't catch me?
And now...
What happens if a herbivore eats meat?
It's not a mask!
Well, to tell you the truth, everyone wants to eat meat.
Right?
Everyone wants to eat meat.
Rabbits also really want to eat meat.
But...
They can't eat it.
Why is that?
Because there's no way to catch prey.
Even if you have such long ears, no one will die.
Even if you're drunk like me.
But everyone wants to eat it.
Rabbits don't bite, right?
Well, you know...
For example, if you don't smoke...
If you suddenly smoke...
You'll be like...
Just like with drugs, you'll show a refusal reaction, right?
Is it enough to make you pee?
That won't work.
I've seen it before.
A deer eating meat.
A deer eating meat?
A deer eating cows.
Really?
- What happened? - I was surprised.
- By whom? - When I saw it.
- I thought "I did it". - "I did it"?
- Yes. - What did you do?
- I thought "I did it". - Why?
- No, I thought it was "happening". - "Happening"?
- "Happening" is... - "Happen"? What?
- "Happening" is... - What's "happen"?
- "Happening" is... - "Happening", right?
- "Happening". - Isn't it "happen"?
- "Happening" is "heppen". - "Heppen"?
- "Happening" is "heppen". - "Heppen" is...
- What? - Don't say something bigger!
- What is it? - "Happening" is "heppen".
- It's "happening" in your mouth. What's wrong with you? - "Happening" is "heppen".
- "Deer"?
- When you ate the deer meat and cows, you were excited, weren't you? - Yes, I was.
- "Is money enough for me?" - "Is money enough for me?"
- You were talking with your mouth wide open. - Until now...
- You said "receipt". - I was talking with my mouth wide open.
- You said "deer".
- "Deer" is... - "Deer" is...
- "Deer"!
Furthermore, in this talk...
Please tell me how to judge a woman of justice in one fell swoop.
This is... I've really studied a lot of things.
And you know, I've finally reached that level.
To judge in one fell swoop?
Yes, it says "in one fell swoop".
Ah, ah, well, I can judge.
Ah, really?
You know, in this case, I wonder...
In which case?
Is she your girlfriend? Or is she someone you're walking with?
No, I don't know her personally.
You don't know her personally?
When we're walking together and we run into each other, I say, "Ah, that's Seri."
I'm not sure if I can say it or not.
Well, I understand.
Well, first of all...
A woman like Seri...
First of all, she doesn't wear a lot of skirts.
Oh, really?
She doesn't wear skirts.
That's because she doesn't like it. She's defenseless.
She wants to keep it up.
Are you serious?
I'm sure it's not everyone, but it's usually like that.
It's usually like that.
First of all, remember this.
And even in pants...
Even in pants...
If it's jeans, there are people who like jeans.
However, even in pants...
Even if you wear white pants, you'll never look good in them.
Ah, I see.
It's like an old woman's laugh.
Yes, yes, yes.
I understand.
And...
I've observed a lot of things.
For example, when you pick up a girl...
Hey, what's up with you today?
When you say that...
First of all, jeans or pants...
I see.
Those are all safe.
If you wear a skirt...
And it's not a white skirt...
That's a pretty high percentage.
I see.
Eighty percent is okay.
I see.
In that case, you can be a little mean.
I see.
You can say, "Give me your bag."
And the woman will be like...
Ah!
If you see me like that, you're in trouble.
Is it okay?
And when you say, "Give me the bathroom,"
While saying, "Yes, sure,"
If you look at it for a little while...
You can almost tell.
Those people are looking for mysterious bags.
You can't do research or anything like that!
If you dig up your everyday life, you can't do that!
You can't do that!
No, no, no, I think I'm saying pretty good things.
No, you're not saying good things, you're saying "oh, that's right, that's right"!
Well, well, I don't know if it's a bag or a small bag now, but for example...
So you're saying that it passed by and sorted it out in one fell swoop?
Let me tell you how much 100% I'm giving you.
Yes.
Right now, I'm in Matsumoto, Ninzaburo...
The one wearing black pants is a sex offender.
So, for example, you're at a customer's seat and you look around and you see her.
She's wearing black pants.
Is that a bag or a small bag?
It's a bag.
Hey, this is a picture!
By the way, Otaku...
Hey, wait a minute!
You really have to say it properly! You can't say "embarrassing" or anything like that!
If it's really like that, then it's like that!
If it's not like that, then it's not like that!
You really have to say it!
Right? What do you think, Shikoku?
It's not like that...
No, it's not like that!
You know, she's wearing a boyfriend today.
What are you talking about?
These are black pants.
Oh, she's...
These are women's clothes.
She doesn't have sex anymore.
That's not true!
Hey!
What do you think?
It's not like that.
What's not like that?
You don't know for yourself.
I know!
You don't have to say it!
You don't have to say it all of a sudden.
It's not like that.
You don't know for yourself.
She's wearing black pants.
You know, according to my research,
according to four people, one person is like that, right?
What do you mean?
According to four people, one person thinks it's right.
There was also a saying of "emperor".
What does "emperor" mean?
Because,
generally, women...
are there for one week.
Generally.
You're laughing too much!
It's personal, but it's one week.
Yes.
And if it's one week,
it's four times within one month.
If you think about it like that,
it's one-fourth of a probability.
Yes.
If you think about it like that,
if there are four women,
it's one person for sure.
Ah, that calculation is...
Right?
So you too, you too, you too, you too,
are 25% probability correct.
If you think about it like that, right?
Yes.
And if you're wearing pants,
it's 50%.
That's where it is.
Yes, 25%.
And if you're wearing black pants,
it's 80%.
And if you don't like your bag,
it's 90%.
And if you don't like your bag, it's 90%.
I understand.
It's really helpful.
By the way,
according to four people, one person is like that, right?
Yes.
According to four people, one person is like that, right?
Well, well, that's...
Even if you're right, it doesn't matter!
It doesn't matter!
It's like that.
Why doesn't it matter?
It's like, "Where isn't it?!"
Unreleased.
With just one word,
Matsu-chan is in a muddled state.
Well, well, I know.
I know, I know.
What?
I know.
After all, now,
the kid's face is the best.
There are various shows,
but they're all useless.
And you...
You put me in a empty room right away.
You can say it at the studio,
putting me in a vacant room every now and then.
Seriously.
No, I don't watch television much anymore.
What's useless?
No, most...
What's useless?
Most of it.
Most of it is useless.
What's there anyway?
What's wrong with it? I don't know!
What's wrong with it? Which one is wrong with it?
The German one is wrong with it!
But you know, recently, I don't think it's decreasing, this "something something" kind of thing.
I think it's a good trend.
I see.
It's no use for someone who doesn't have much strength to do it.
Who the hell are you?!
You know, recently you've been making me say it all the time.
What?!
You know, you've been holding it in so much.
Who the hell is doing it?!
Right?!
What are you doing?!
Who the hell is doing something useless?!
Stop it!
Who is useless?!
Who is useless?! Say it!
I'm not going to say anything!
Why?!
I don't know anymore.
What?!
I don't know anymore.
Are you saying it?!
If you say it, say it!
Isn't it your true intention to say what you want to say?
That's right!
Isn't it your true intention to say what you want to say?
Don't you say it!
It can't be helped if you hear that it's not your true intention.
If you say it many times, people will say "Ah, I'm sorry for saying it at that time."
Don't say it.
The voice of the world.
What are you doing all together?
No, no, I don't mean that.
What are you doing all together?
I don't know at all.
No, no.
What?
Shall I say it?
No!
What are you doing all together?
Rolling Stones.
What are you saying?
Utabuta-san!
February 11th, unreleased talk.
What is "Imafuu Telephone Phrase"?
Matsumoto-san, who once passed the Kyoto University entrance exam but chose Yoshimoto Medical School.
In many university cases, the non-passed students receive "sakura chiruto" or "telephone"
but I feel like it's an era delay and I'm getting a little blue.
Please think of a complaint that doesn't make the non- passed students blue with "Imafuu".
When you passed the Kyoto University entrance exam, was it "sakura chiruto"?
Our university didn't do it like that!
It wasn't like that.
It was a little fancier.
Oh, really?
The non-passed students too.
What did the non-passed students say at the time?
When I passed...
When you passed...
It was Kyoto University, right?
Kyoto.
What did they say?
Well... "maeba kira".
"Kira" is fine. "Kira" is like "ah, I passed" but "maeba kira" is not good.
"Maeba kira" is when you're happy and you laugh.
"Maeba kira".
Ah, I see, I see.
What does "failure" mean?
Um... "munage bon".
I don't know what that means.
"Munage bon" is not...
I know what "maeba kira" is like, but "munage bon" is...
I know what you're talking about!
It's definitely not something to be happy about!
It's not like "oh, I hate it!", and then "sha! sha!", and then change clothes and "bon!"
You hate it, don't you?!
I hate it, but...
That's right. That's why it's like that.
Ah, I see.
You're not that old yet, you know?
You don't think it's okay, do you?
Even if you say "munage bon", I don't know what you're talking about.
Do you know?
Kyoto University.
"Muna-ge-bon".
"Hara-deru".
That means a lot of things.
It's when you pass.
Huh?
It's when you pass.
"Hara-deru"?
"Hara-deru".
Isn't it kind of nice?
In the left corner.
What is that?!
Next, in February 18th, Hama-chan's unknown past is revealed!
I have a question for Matsumoto-san, president of the Japanese Animal Society.
I don't like animals, but I've heard that there are a lot of bad people who hate animals.
Even if you don't like animals, I want to be seen as a good person.
Please tell me what I should do.
Are there a lot of bad people who hate animals?
You know, people often feel that.
When you say you don't like children because you're a woman,
it's like, "Wow, this woman is terrible."
You know, there's that stereotype.
If you say you don't like animals, it's like, "What are you talking about?"
I see.
That's different, isn't it?
It's different!
It's difficult to say you don't like it.
Even if you look like this, you like animals, don't you?
Yes, yes, yes.
It looks like you're going to kill me, but...
I really, really like them.
Even if you force me to, it's normal, right?
Seriously, if you have a bag, I'd like you to put kangaroos in it.
I'd like you to put kangaroos in it.
I'd like you to put them in it.
I don't hate them either.
Why are you making me blush?
Stop making me blush!
Well, I've seen you kicking deer antlers a lot of times.
If you hurt a deer antler, you'll get in trouble!
No, you've done it before.
I haven't?!
You grabbed a deer antler's horn and hit it with your forehead!
That surprised me.
You idiot!
You're making me blush!
I'm going to be popular, so watch me!
I can't do it! I can't do it!