AISubs v3.5
Our happiness may be equal to that of the world.
Kisai and Hitoshi Matsumoto are now sharpening their swords against modern society.
KO-plaza.
That middle car is definitely wrong!
Where cars collide with each other like this, there is a car stop.
Of course.
Like this, right?
If you don't have one, you win.
Right?
They all have one.
There was a gap between the walls.
If you think you can stop like this, you're stupid!
They're colliding with the wall! There's no car stop!
Communication society's greatest fear
Sharpening modern society like Matsumoto
Car stop consideration
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
Good evening, everyone.
What would you do if you didn't have what you believed you had?
For example, this cigarette.
Now you have a lighter there, so you didn't fall off the table and survived.
See?
It was still good because it was a cigarette.
This is your more important...
What would you do if it was a car?
What would you do if you didn't have what you believed you had?
You can only have happy days because you can stop a car.
*sigh*
Ooh...
A car stops because of a car stopper.
He doesn't seem to realize it, but there's value in this kind of place, you know?
Life is a labyrinth created by God.
If one car is wrong, a lot of things can happen.
If...
If there wasn't a car stopper...
(splash)
(sigh)
Life is light and shadows. A small car screen can change your life.
The timing of the explosion was different.
It would have exploded a little later.
The timing was a little weird.
And we ended up dead.
It's dangerous.
Let's be careful.
Well, let's go.
Let's go.
Ladies and Gentlemen...
We've been working together for a long time...
It's been 15 years this year.
It's been 15 years, so I know...
You're not a good partner.
Why? Don't say that!
You look like you're about to die!
You're right.
Like what?
Like you're glaring at me.
You look like you're about to fly!
I'm not flying!
It's okay, it's okay.
Today we solved one problem in the opening.
That's right.
Stopping cars.
No, no, no.
There are a lot of strange problems.
How about you?
Did you come up with another one?
No, there are strange problems.
We went to a ramen shop.
Ramen shop.
Where was it...
It was in Ebisu.
We went there for the first time.
You're a taxi driver, aren't you?
Taxi?
I'm a taxi driver!
Why are you angry?
If you didn't make me angry, I wouldn't be a taxi driver.
If you said you were a taxi driver, you wouldn't be a taxi driver.
Taxi...
I said "mini-tan".
That's boring! Don't say "tan"!
I said "mini-tan".
It came.
Welcome.
It's cold, isn't it?
It's very common.
The taxi driver ordered it and it came in about three minutes.
Our taxi hasn't arrived yet.
It came in.
"It's fast, isn't it?" said the taxi driver.
No, no, I could see your face.
So I made it in advance.
It makes me feel good!
It makes me feel good, doesn't it?
Yes.
When I was eating it,
it came in the middle and I went home right away.
Yes, yes.
I said 'thank you' and ate it.
"It's fast, isn't it?" I thought.
When I looked at it,
the old man's bowl
was left behind.
Ramen.
That's weird!
Why?
It's very...
Tan, tan, tan!
Are you fools?!
Even if you look at my face,
I make ramen that you can't eat,
and I leave it behind!
What kind of situation is this?!
Why are you following me?
It's scary, isn't it?
What kind of situation is this?!
Even if you look at my face up close...
No, no, I'm serious, I'm serious.
What are you doing?!
What kind of situation is this?!
It's really common!
Doesn't commonness have anything to do with it?
When it comes to leaving leftovers...
What do you mean?
For example, if you're not hungry anymore...
Don't eat it! It's weird!
Should we verify it?
Let's wait for that old man to come back.
Why would you leave it?
Isn't that what you're saying?
Write it on your face later.
Anyway, I called a hotel.
It's common.
It's common for a girl to think it's good.
So I called them.
And they called me back.
But instead of saying 'thank you'...
They said 'change!'
No, but I can't eat a little.
So I can't say 'change!'
But anyway, that's about it.
It was really strange.
Do you remember my face?
If you look at my face, you'll remember it.
I was really surprised.
I had a lot of money.
And when I looked at that bowl...
I doubted my eyes.
It became a treasure trove.
It was really strange.
Why? There's no such unreasonable story!
It was my first time at a ramen shop.
But I didn't want to leave anything behind.
Why not?
It's kind of bad.
Even if it's bad?
Well, you know...
What are you talking about?
It's my stomach.
Well, you know...
When I saw you before...
You had hair.
You had long hair.
But I didn't want to leave it behind.
And I didn't want to say it either.
It's like you're obsessed with it.
Maybe it's my long hair.
What? Where's the longest part?
I didn't want to say it.
So I didn't say it.
And I just went with it.
You're definitely lying!
No, really.
Why?
No, I really didn't want to say it.
What would you do if you did?
Have I ever had a car?
Even though it's winter.
That's lucky!
No, really.
But I really didn't say anything.
I just sat next to the bowl.
No, really.
I thought it was a car.
And I sat next to the bowl.
And it turned out like this.
Really.
I was just sitting there.
Looking at the car.
No, really.
No, I really didn't want to say it.
Hey!
You could have said it!
No, I didn't say it.
No, you did.
No, I really didn't say it.
What are you talking about?
No matter how reckless you think you are,
I'm the one who's doing it all.
Even when school was over,
while you were going to school,
you took off your clothes one by one.
You took them all off.
You're a big boss, aren't you?
I don't know.
No, really.
No, I really didn't want to say it.
But you know,
a regular person would leave things like that behind and go home.
I was so surprised.
I couldn't believe it.
But you know,
your question about the messiah,
wasn't it like,
thai food before?
What was the dish again?
Pickled radish!
That's a lie!
I don't know if you're lying or not!
I'm not lying.
When I go to my neighbor's house,
the old man always sings in a really loud voice.
He sings in a really, really loud voice.
There's no doubt about it.
That old man must be suffering.
That old man is really fast!
He comes in about ten minutes,
but he sings in a really, really loud voice,
so you can tell he's suffering.
What? Even before you say anything?
He's always like...
Really, really.
Ever since I got out of the elevator,
he's been singing.
Where do you stay?
Do you stay in your neighbor's house?
No, no, it's just there.
When I open the door at the chorus,
the chorus is still singing.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, he might be singing until he gets out of the elevator and comes in.
No, I'm sure of it.
But he's singing until you open the door.
Yes, he is.
He's not singing.
No, he's really singing.
I'm telling you, he's not lying.
Yeah.
You're right.
No, I'm serious.
Well, you can do it, though.
You're right.
But you're always...
These days, all you do is test me out!
No, I have to do it when I can.
Just do whatever you feel like doing.
No, no, wait a minute!
What should I do?
That old man...
He's definitely singing.
Well, it's the worst.
That old man is singing.
Even if you open the door, he's singing.
You have to decide on these three things.
Yes, yes.
And...
Early.
In front of a man.
What?
In front of a man.
That old man?
In front of a man?
Yes.
Why is that old man singing in front of you?
Wherever you go, that old man sings.
Wherever I go, it's like that.
My brain doesn't work like that.
No, it depends on the situation.
No, no, no.
My old man, whether it's disco or rental video, is singing.
No, it's not like that.
Since it's disco today,
I'm going to play for a long time and get caught.
I...
My old man is always singing.
If you say it like that, you'll get caught.
This is...
You can't say it!
Also, if you say it as a talent over there,
um...
That's what men say every day.
A name like 'Romantham'...
There's a name like 'Romantham', isn't there?
Who's that? Where is he from?
He was doing something about ecology or something like that...
John Rohn!
John Rohn! That's right!
John Rohn!
Romantham!
John Rohn is from there, right?
The outline is the same!
It's true. Everything I'm saying is true.
That's right.
Sorry.
Sorry for making you wait.
Mr. Matsumoto, who is called "the king of fighting", who has been your strongest opponent so far?
I've faced a lot of things.
Would you like me to tell you about when you won against a bear?
No, thank you.
Let's do it. Let's do it twice.
No, let's do it once.
Let's do it once.
Let's do it twice.
No, let's do it in English.
What is it in English?
A precious toothpick from a fan!
I got it when I was guarding Hanakusa.
What a joke.
I'll tell you about when I won against a bear.
Oh, you've won against a bear.
Yes.
Well, I was camping.
Bears would come.
There were about 60 of them.
I was surprised.
Twice!
There were 60 of them.
Twice!
I was surprised, too.
Oh, really?
Yes, 60 of them.
I was surprised.
Oh, you were surprised.
Well, in a situation like this, you have to win.
Why?
First of all, it was a "computer kick".
My...
Yes.
It was a "computer kick".
I can't explain what a "computer kick" is, but...
You can't kick?
I did it.
And...
about 55 of them fell down.
What?
5 more? 5 more?
Yes, 5 more.
I was surprised at this.
Are you not going to do something?
Are you not going to imitate me?
That's what they said.
Are you not going to do something?
You dragged me all the way here.
Don't say such stupid things.
I know what you're doing. You're dating my partner.
This is bad.
What are you doing?
You're really...
I know.
The "king game" has begun.
King Game
Dance salsa for me.
King Game
Dance salsa for me.
That's not possible.
King Game
The other day, as I was walking on the road...
Oh, oh, oh.
...wakame was falling.
Oh, it's your first hakama today, isn't it?
The other day, as I was walking on the road, wakame was falling.
Wakame is falling?
Yes.
What in the world is going on? Is it a sign of something?
Masumoto-sensei, answer me.
This is what God is telling you.
What is He telling me?
Um...you hear me?
Yes.
You.
Yes.
Right?
Don't get wakamed.
(laughter)
That's what it means.
What does it mean?
Huh?
What?
What does "not to be young" mean?
It doesn't have a meaning.
Huh?
(laughter)
Do you hear me?
"Not to be young" is written on the road.
It's God's message.
Yes, yes.
To you...
Do you hear me?
"Not to be young"!
(laughter)
That's fine, isn't it?
Why?
(laughter)
What is it?
Then you shouldn't "not to be young", shouldn't you?
(laughter)
If you don't know what it means, you can't "not to be young", can you?
(laughter)
From now on...
Yes.
I'll ask you an important question.
Yes.
From now on, will you "not to be young"?
(laughter)
No, I don't know what it means!
(laughter)
I don't know what it means!
I don't know if I'm "not to be young" now!
But I know what it means!
(laughter)
Don't worry!
I'm not worried!
(laughter)
I'm not worried about anything!
Calm down! Calm down!
Who are you "not to be young" now?
(laughter)
What is it?
I'm... what?
I'm "not to be young" now?
You're "not to be young".
And!
I'm telling you not to "not to be young" from now on!
What should I do?
What should I do to "not to be young"?
Tell me about it!
Yes, yes, yes.
I understand, I understand.
For example, even if you have work or something you don't like...
It's something you'll do with all your life.
(laughter)
If you do that, I'm sure you won't be "not to be young".
But!
(laughter)
"Not to be young"?!
Tell me what it means!
Well...
It's not good because you're particular about "not to be young".
"Not to be young"!
(laughter)
"Not to be young"!
(laughter)
Now I'll tell you what you should do when you're "not to be young".
No!
When you're "not to be young", tell me what state I'm in!
Now, now, now!
Wait a minute!
Before I tell you, I'll tell you what you should do when you're "not to be young".
The order is reversed!
There's ice, right?
Use ice to cool your back as much as you can.
(laughter)
So what state am I in?!
(laughter)
Make me as warm as you can!
(laughter)
Cool my head and make me warm?
(laughter)
Am I catching a cold?!
(laughter)
Eat ginger food and go to bed!
Am I catching a cold?! (laughter)
I'm not catching a cold! I'm being pampered! (laughter)
Look at me! I'm being pampered!
Being pampered! Being pampered!
What do you mean by "being pampered"? (laughter)
(music)
Matsumoto-san, who is always riding his dog instead of his bodyguard in his car, has a request.
When we put our dog in the car, it definitely pukes without warning.
(laughter)
Anyway, can you tell me if you can distinguish his car?
Can you distinguish?
Yes.
What do you mean?
"Oh, I shouldn't carry him anymore." (laughter)
You can tell right away, can't you?
I can, I can, I can.
How do you distinguish a dog?
Oh, a dog is different from a human being.
It's different, right?
Of course it is.
Yes, I can tell.
Is there a way to distinguish them?
First of all, you should be careful when you open the window.
(laughter)
Dog! (laughter)
You should be careful when you open the window and get a cold.
You're human, aren't you? (laughter)
You should be careful when you open the window and get a cold and say, "Oh, I'm in a bad mood." (laughter)
You! (laughter)
You should be careful when you start yawning. This is serious.
Oh, of course.
Yawning is definitely different.
But you're human, aren't you?
No, but it's the same for dogs.
Really?
When you start yawning...
I don't know.
And when you say, "I'm going to throw up," it's the same for you, isn't it? (laughter)
This is cigarettes.
I can't do it.
Is it difficult?
Yes.
Let's do it again.
Who was that?
What would you do if you didn't have something you believed you had?
But...
Give it back!
Why did you fire it?
How was it?
It was scary!
Excuse me, please wait for a moment.
The timing of the explosion was different.
Let's be careful.
Let's go.
What?!
I'm sorry.
I made a mistake.