AISubs v3.5
Next time on "Kids' Usefulness", "Aim for the top", "Fire's Glico Challenge"!
- Matsumoto-san. - Yes?
Even though you're doing glico...
Why are we wearing guns like this?
Um...
If we don't wear guns...
Um...
We'll die.
What do you mean "we'll die"?
I want to do it with these people.
- Yes. - Alright, contestants.
Here they are!
The chosen ones...
- Sleeping... - Sleeping...
Now waking up...
- The lions. - The lions.
Here they are.
Look up!
While we're using these stairs, let's all do glico.
Yes.
The first person to go up is...
There's a button up there.
If you press that button...
Um...
From the inside of that cell...
Presents...
Will come flying down.
However, if you go up fast, you won't get hurt.
That's the only thing I'll add.
Who's going to get hurt?
Ah, so...
- It means you won't get hurt. - Ah, I see.
Hurry up and do glico and go up.
- It's like a tax measure. - Ah, I see.
Even if it's a game, it's not a loss.
But if you do it, you know, right?
- I don't know. - I don't know.
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
Okay, everyone.
But we have to play rock-paper-scissors with six people, right?
- Only one person, right? - That's right.
Wait a minute.
Um...
I feel like I'm getting smaller.
You don't think so, do you?
You don't think so?
You're stuck between me and Jural!
Shut up!
Okay, let's do it.
Rock-paper-scissors!
This is it.
I got it! I got it!
Let's do rock-paper-scissors!
Rock-paper-scissors!
- Rock-paper-scissors! - Oh, it's me!
Pineapple...
Wow, I'm a little jealous of you.
It's only me.
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
But you're Jural.
Jural!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
Taro...
Rock-paper-scissors!
- It's me! - Oh, it's me!
- It's me! - No, it's Yamasaki.
It's Yamasaki.
Taro...
- Let's do it! - Rock-paper-scissors!
- It's me! - Oh, it's me!
Suga-chan!
Rock-paper-scissors!
It's me!
Oh, it's me!
Dad, is this okay?
Hey, wait! I don't think so!
I don't think so!
Why not? You can't win.
Rock-paper-scissors!
You!
You say it first!
How many fans do you think I have?
What's wrong with you?
Let's do it the next time we go to quarantine.
As it is?
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me! It's me!
Oh, it's the worst!
Oh, I like it!
Okay! Okay! Okay!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
Oh, it's true!
No way!
Why do you win so easily?
No, it's not!
What is it?
It has a carabiner.
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
You look happy!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
It's me!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's terrible!
Wait a minute!
It's terrible!
I've never won like this!
Don't be stupid! I've never won like this!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
Rock-paper-scissors!
It's me!
Oh, it's me!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's a waste!
Shall we eat all of them?
No!
Rock-paper-scissors!
It's me!
Oh, it's me!
Pineapple!
Oh, it's terrible!
Rock-paper-scissors!
No!
Oh, it's terrible!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
Pineapple!
Rock-paper-scissors!
It's me!
Oh, it's pineapple!
Pineapple!
What was that?
Rock-paper-scissors!
It's me!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's terrible!
It's hard to see here!
Rock-paper-scissors!
I don't think I can eat here!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Oh, it's me!
Rock-paper-scissors!
Wait a minute!
You're done, aren't you?
Wait a minute!
What's next?
Three more!
Three more?
No matter what you win with.
What?
No matter what you win with.
But you can't win with it.
Let's go.
You're in the best position now.
What?
You're in the best position now.
What? Where are you going?
What's up?
But I don't want to be on camera.
I don't want to be on camera either.
Let's go!
I don't want to be on camera either.
Let's go!
Okay, okay, okay.
Pineapple!
It doesn't matter.
Hey, we're in trouble!
Wait a minute! What's up with me? Am I a baby?
You're a baby before you know it.
Rock, paper, scissors!
It's me!
No, no, no!
Come here!
Wait a minute!
Come here!
Wait a minute!
Get down!
It's burning! It's burning!
It's scary!
It's really scary!
You're laughing. Why are you laughing?
When I looked up, everyone was in a vertical line.
Thank you very much.
Are you done with the opening song already?
No, I'm not! I can still go on!
This song is quite good. It starts with a laugh, then it calms down a little, and then it goes "tantantantan" again.
You can laugh twice in this song.
I can still go on with this song.
You know that song again, right?
Yes.
I wrote "arimasen" again.
Oh, you did?
I was called out by Wada Akio.
He cursed me and I died.
Why does it have to be like that?!
Wada Akio, what do you think about it? Have you seen it?
Wada Akio... I wrote a phone number to Wada Akio.
I told him what I wrote.
You told him...
And then... Oh, he thought I was going to hit him!
I knew it! I knew I couldn't hit Matsumoto!
That's right! I knew you could hit him!
I wrote it, but you didn't tell me!
I know, right? But you know, he's an idiot.
I don't know what it is, but his lips are like red...
You said it!
Even if you sit like this, your eyes come out like this.
Nice.
That's a dog's tail.
But it comes up to you.
If you put your legs like this, it comes up to you.
This is bad.
Wait a minute...
Wait a minute! Can you see the woman's part?
I'm scared.
What are you saying?
I don't know.
I don't know, but...
Come on, now.
Ugh!
That's the usual old man's tone.
But I'll do it.
It's early in the morning.
I'm sorry, I can't do it today.
Why is that? Come on.
I'm really sorry about today!
I said it.
No!
No way!
Are you serious?
No way!
I won't say it again.
Everyone, please forget about it.
No way!
Shut up!
I don't like it! I don't like it!
Stop it! Stop it!
Ugh...
I really can't do it today!
And I just ran out of battery.
I thought I was lucky!
And when I finished, I thought I'd...
I thought I'd put on my new earring.
I didn't know I would get angry again.
It was like, "Why are you not cutting it off?"
The usual old man's tone.
I thought I'd get angry again.
But I hope you don't get that mad.
Stop it!
I'm serious!
You're so mean.
It's quite...
Just hold it in!
Ouch, ouch, ouch!
You're so fat!
You scared me.
But it's still a phone call.
If I get called at a store, I'll be pulled into a car this late.
Or if I get hit in the stomach and say "Ugh!", I'll be pulled in and if I notice, I'll be like this.
Stop it!
What are you doing?
Stop it!
What?!
You're laughing next to someone who's doing such a thing!
Well, I did bad things, but you could say "forgive me", couldn't you?
That's what you're doing, isn't it?!
If you do a show in a place like that, you'll get in trouble!
Can you deliver this love?
That's enough!
Can you deliver this love?
You can't, can you?!
You're doing a message show, aren't you?
Wow, that's scary.
It's really scary.
But you know, you said it too.
You said it to me, you know.
What?
About Hamada, too.
What, what, what, what?
You said you thought Hamada was good, too.
No, it's not like that.
It's not like that, but...
Well, if you summarize it...
You're making me sick!
If you summarize it...
So, Hamada is good in Hamada, and Matsumoto is good in Matsumoto.
And, well...
They're both good, but...
Well, in Hamada...
There's a priest.
Ah, I see.
And the reason for that is crazy, isn't it?
At that point...
You're completely aiming at me!
It has nothing to do with the priest!
Eat up, you bastard!
Come on, say it at least once.
It's tough, isn't it?
I'm going to hide the camera like that first servant.
I'm going to take it like you don't know!
I've been kissed...
Wow!
Was it on the cheek?
You're saying "jogi jogi", aren't you?
It's an unknown world, so it's better to see it for yourself.
It's scary.
It's scary, isn't it?
Look, it's coming up.
It's coming up.
Wow!
It's hitting me more and more!
Wow! It's hitting me!
It's stabbing me in the chest!
The chain!
Idiot!
If it's connected to the chain, you can't escape!
It's good if it's painful, you know?
You're an idiot.
What are you saying?
It's stabbing me in the chest.
Everyone has that kind of thing.
It's painful.
When we were eating together, you noticed it.
One person is missing.
Hey, I'm going to the bathroom!
Two people are missing.
Maybe at that time, Akio was...
He's saying "one by one" like this.
This is my way of doing things.
According to what I've heard, you don't know anything about life, but what was the most dangerous thing you've ever done?
I don't know anything about life?
First of all, you've never thought it was scary, right?
And you've never said "it's scary" to me, right?
Today's opening is scary!
What's that?
That's a different kind of fear.
Well, the most dangerous thing I've ever done is...
When I was stabbed by a gorilla.
Where?
Around here.
Bang! I got hit.
Where were you?
I was playing baseball.
Where?!
At a ground.
Where was it?
At Amagasaki's ground.
I've never heard of it.
If you've heard of it, tell me.
Bang! Well, well...
I'm a home run batter, you know.
Yes.
Yes!
My nervous system is like a home run batter.
Are you stupid?!
That's enough!
Bang! It didn't hit me!
Bang! I broke the glass.
Anyway, I apologized and left.
But after I left...
I was a gorilla.
You were a gorilla.
I was a gorilla with my grandpa.
Oh, you had a gorilla by your grandpa's side.
He was like, "What are you doing?! You just got stabbed the other day!"
So I've always been a gorilla.
You've become a pervert!
I've always been like this.
I was a pervert.
And?
I was like, "Thank you, gorilla."
I was a pervert, you know.
I was still a kid.
Then a gorilla came out of my grandpa.
It came out of you?
Yes.
Why?
Why didn't you apologize?!
What? Did you say something?
And the old man said it.
Ah!
Ah, I was surprised.
The old man said it.
Yes, yes.
And the old man said, "Why aren't you apologizing?"
And I said, "Hey, hey, hey."
Wait, wait, wait.
Hey, hey, hey.
Eh? In Gorilla?
Hey, hey, hey.
Yes, old man, old man.
Ah, old man.
Old man, what is it?
You say a lot of things.
"Hey, hey, hey," I said.
No, I won't apologize.
Well, it's true, but...
Anyway, I will apologize.
And I said it.
And he was like...
If you apologize...
Wait, wait, wait.
What is it?
Old man, old man.
Ah, it's you, old man.
You say it so many times.
What's the point of saying 'Gorilla' in front of you, old man?
Even if you avoid it, you say it.
Oh...
Then...
Baa!
I don't know if it was a fish or a desk, but...
Desk?
Baa!
Are you licking a gorilla?
Gorilla.
Old man, old man.
"This is a "benjose"."
This is a gorilla, though.
Eh?
Was it that obvious?
Ah, that's a gorilla.
This is a gorilla.
It's the first time I've eaten a gorilla.
You don't sound that angry.
Benjose!
This is a gorilla.
Eh?
Well, old man, you know...
Eh, you weren't surprised!
When the gorilla spoke.
Ah, that wasn't surprising.
"Because it was "gumshara"."
You know, um...
That's not true.
That's weird.
Eh?
Why are you apologizing?
Benjose is also a good thing.
Eh, you know...
You're injured!
Oh!
I'm not dead!
Yes, yes.
This is a gorilla, though.
Eh?
I'm not injured!
Then, for now...
Baa!
Come here.
Oh my...
This is scary...
Is it this high?
It's red.
Baa!
The trash can is leaking, isn't it?
No, the old man did it.
Eh?
What are you doing?
Aren't you living with a gorilla?
Do you have this much destructive power?
Show me!
So...
The old man said it, though.
Eh?!
It was a strange day, wasn't it?
Why? You weren't beaten up, were you?
I'm a 17-year-old boy,
but my height is about 155 centimeters,
just like Hamada-san's.
That's enough!
What are you going to do from now on, Matsumoto- san?
Going over 2 meters like that?
I'll teach you how to go over 2 meters.
To put it another way, we're a clumsy duo.
Isn't this amazing?
No, it's not...
We're taller than St. Louis, right?
In terms of duo height.
Why can't I touch your face?
You can touch 2 meters of my face!
That's not how you do it!
That's why you're all doing it wrong.
The way you measure it.
Ah, the way you measure it!
The way you measure it is wrong.
Why?
Compared to my actual height right now, I'm about 170cm or so.
So you're thinking, "What's up with this 30cm?"
Of course it is.
But you know, this 30cm doesn't matter at all.
Why doesn't it matter?!
Now you're saying, "30cm doesn't matter at all!"
Right?
That's right.
This is your true heart.
That's why my true heart is 30cm.
You fool...
Do you understand?
You don't have a true heart, so you're attracted to it.
Does everyone have one?
Everyone has one.
Is it decided how many centimeters your true heart is?
No, it's not like that for you.
In my case, my true heart is 30cm.
Ah, I want you to feed me a full meal.
You're in a hurry!
I want you to feed me a full meal.
But what is it?!
Feed me!
Now!
Say it!
Eh?!
Do you really want me to eat a full meal?
It's not you!
I always want you to eat a full meal!
Even when I'm talking with you...
Talking?!
Don't panic!
Even when I'm talking with you, I always want you to eat a full meal!
I...
I may not look like it, but...
Ah! I've never thought of you like that!
Talking and wanting you to eat a full meal...
I've never thought of you like that, either!
Is that wrong?!
That's why it's 155!
Shut up!
Eh? Is it wrong?
Is it wrong?
Is it really wrong?
Ah, so that's how it is...
Of course it is! That's why it's in the top 30.
Also...
To put it very simply, I always put "ja" on my head.
In my feelings, right?
I always put "ja" on my head.
Right? In my feelings, right?
Whenever I put "ja" on my head, I feel like I'm going to swell up!
I feel like I'm going to swell up!
I'm fighting with my parents right now!
That's a good story...
It's a good story, but...
Sometimes you have to read this kind of letter...
Yes, that's right...
I haven't said a word for three days!
I'm not bad, but what can I do for you?
It's a very serious letter...
I thought I wouldn't be able to talk for about a month, but...
Ah, really?
They dug up my favorite erotic book...
It was really annoying...
And they cut it up and put it in a file!
Everytime I...
That's what I remember...
It's a painful story...
I still remember it and laugh about it...
Um...
When I was in elementary school or something like that...
When I went to school...
Even with my friends...
Even in between...
They'd say "It's okay, it's okay"...
Right?
It's like that...
And when you come back home...
Sometimes it becomes an extension of school, right?
And...
And at some point...
When your head hurts like this...
I'll hit you in the head!