AISubs v3.5
[Masato Hamada]
Good evening, everyone!
Now, please come in!
Everyone listening, please come in!
I, Hamada Masato, would like to start the show with these members!
Everyone listening, please add a few words to introduce yourselves!
Yes, starting with me!
The other day, I went to Australia!
I picked up girls there!
But I failed, so I bought ***!
I'm Yamasaki Hosei, pleased to meet you!
Yes, next to me!
Edison!
Yes, pleased to meet you!
Yes, next to me!
Even though I may look like this, when I go back to work, I have a pretty respectable position!
I'm Prosecutor Suga!
Yes, pleased to meet you!
Yes, last but not least, Konosuke!
Our work is really tough!
Even yesterday, we swallowed a huge sponge!
Again?!
No, I'm serious!
In just a little while, *** is going to *** me!
The one with *** in his mouth is Matsumoto!
The topic is...
"Atacamo Reading"!
I'm sure you know the rules, but...
Just like "Atacamo" is written on it...
Please read it out loud and hand it over to the person next to you!
Here is the first topic!
How to make pitan!
What is pitan?
Pitan...
Eh? You don't know pitan?
Pitan, I'm sorry, I...
Pitan!
Me!
Call me! Call me, Pitan!
Call me, Pitan!
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
Let's start with how to make pitan.
Yes, please.
How to make it...
Eh!
In one place...
All of a sudden!
How to make pitan!
In one place...
Um...
There was a mother and a father!
The father...
Loved...
Sex very much...
That's a great book!
That's an amazing book!
And he had a child!
That child...
Was named...
Pitan!
When he grew up...
Pitan...
Went to...
Pirate...
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey!
You're too old for this!
Pitan is already...
A grown up adult!
What should you do?
He said he was going to pirate...
Pitan went to look for friends!
Yes, change!
That's...
If you ask me what it is...
That's...
If you ask me what it is...
I heard a band playing in the back.
It didn't seem like a piton.
Which piton?
First of all...
To make this piton...
A microscope...
I enlarged it...
And in it...
No...
Cells...
Merging...
Like a season...
Why a season?
It was a piton out of season.
Why?
It's spring!
This can't be published!
Continue your story.
It didn't seem like a piton.
I see.
It didn't seem like a piton.
A piton is...
A duck or a bird...
Either way...
It seemed like an egg.
When it was an egg, it was a piton.
I see.
In it...
A piton...
You're reading a book!
No, no...
It says "kou".
When you shine a candle...
From "pi" to "piton"...
It changes.
I see.
The changed...
Piton is...
I see.
The changed piton is...
Like "z" and "ichi".
You're reading it! You're the only one who doesn't know!
Stop laughing!
It's over.
If... in your class...
a little... classy...
hanikami shop came up...
that might be a problem...
laughing!
My class has one more topic...
here!
King Sadaharu's Story
That's not true, Mr. Nagashima.
Is this fine?
Shall we change it?
I don't like Jimmy and Yamanagi anymore.
Let's start over!
I'll go crazy for a moment.
King Sadaharu's Story
That's not true, Mr. Nagashima.
Um... Nagashima Shigeo.
I call him "Mr. Cho".
I see.
Mr. Cho doesn't know much about rules.
He doesn't know much about...
1st class, 2nd class...
your opponent...
um... player...
gave you a flyer.
Now, what is this?
Huh?
Huh? I didn't hear it.
It's next to you!
Listen!
We'll talk about that later, Mr. C.
Yes, I understand.
King... King...
I underestimated Mr. Nagashima.
Huh?
You saw it?
That's not true, Mr. Nagashima.
It's over!
Mr. Cho...
That's Yama...
I'll bring you some Fanta.
They were so easygoing, but one day...
Oh!
They had a big fight!
I see... They had a big fight!
A big fight... Why... Why did they have a big fight?
The king was very angry.
Oh... Why?
Because...
The king...
He came back late in the morning!
Why am I the bad one?
The late king said to Nagashima...
Hey you! I'm late! I drank too much yesterday!
He said that.
Nagashima also drank with him.
And...
At the izakaya...
They talked about...
The cause of their argument!
The cause of their argument...
And...
The director...
What is "director"?
He's not someone who gets in between.
"Someone who gets in between"!? Director!?
I said "someone who gets in between" in difficult words.
Oh... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't notice.
The director said...
The director came in...
And used the money...
To clean up.
Headphones! Telephone game!
You're wearing headphones, right?
I'll turn up the music.
With just your mouth's movement...
Tell the next person what you're saying.
Jimmy?
The subject is...
THIS!
Nice, isn't it?
Yes, please face this way.
Jiro's beach.
Nice, isn't it?
Yes!
I don't get it at all!
What?
Come on, say it!
Calm down!
Stop it! Stop it!
Too much treatment.
Too much you too.
You too.
What? Is it serious?
Back home. Beach.
Yes, Madoh.
Isozuri beach!
Kokon Tozai, Oketsu-ni-mon-mari!
Are you ready? Here's the rule!
Kokon Tozai will do it.
If you can't answer, you lose.
Matsumoto-san, if you can't answer, Jimmy-chan will come over.
What? Don't talk dirty!
It's raw, isn't it?
Yamazaki-san, producer's ass is...
...producer's ass is getting closer and closer.
Alright, let's go!
Yamazaki-san will go first.
Alright.
Kokon Tozai, Oketsu-ni-mon-mari!
Emperor's Birthday.
Yes.
Green Day.
Yes.
Anything else?
P.E. Day!
Yes.
Child's Day!
Yes.
Salute Day!
Yes.
Huh?
Sal... Salute Day!
Jimmy-chan, first step, start!
Alright!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
What's that?
It looks like a hole.
Hey! Hey! You can't do that here!
Hey! Hey!
Seriously...
That's a good way of saying it.
When you say it like that, you feel like you're losing strength.
You're the opposite today, but you're always so energetic.
It's too late for you to say things like "kyaaa!" and look down at people's anuses.
You're looking down at everything.
It's too late for you to look at me and curse me.
I'm in a bad mood.
Because of Corona...
Anyway, like you guys just saw...
Jimmy's ass came all the way over there.
Since then, my right anus has been numb.
I've been doing that all day.
Anyway...
Is it another new joke?
It's not like it's a new joke.
I've never said anything like it before.
It's one of those 100-jokes-in-a-row.
But you know, I'm pretty good too.
I'm 31 years old, right?
I was a "cherry boy" for 10 years.
You got me, didn't you?
So what's the joke?
Ask me for it back!
That's a good return.
I got my first film when I was 16.
It's been... how many years?
It's been 15 years since I started.
I've gotten a little tired of movies.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I've gotten tired of women's stupidity.
Oh, I see.
Women are stupid!
What?
What do you mean "women are stupid"?
Has anyone taught you that?
What?
Is there a manual for that?
Oh, when you do it?
Yeah.
No, there isn't.
No...
That's not it!
There was something going on between you and me!
But women always say that, right?
"No...
No...
No..."
What is that?!
Change your light and shadow!
She's saying the exact opposite!
That's...
An amateur?
No, no!
Two! One! One!
"Nyah!" She says, right?
"Nyah" doesn't make any sense.
I disagree! I disagree!
That's weird!
I want to say, "sit down!"
For now, take it off...
"Sit down, you!" "Sit down!"
What's with your speech?
"Nyah" doesn't mean "nyah" either.
Right, right.
"Nyah!" If you say it like that...
You! You're being rude!
Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah!
I won't say that!
Nyah!
She laughs like that.
I won't say that!
She does, she does.
You say, "I want you!"
Who taught you that?
Who's that?
Moe, Moe...
Who's that?!
Well, you know, there's all kinds of things like that.
You're making fun of me.
Well, well.
You're making fun of me.
No, no, it's fine.
What?
What is it? What kind of dance is it?
What?
What kind of dance is it?
Well, there is a Matsumoto-style dance.
Dance?
Yes, there is.
There are many kinds of dances.
Yes, there are many kinds of dances.
Let's listen to it.
The opening is really long, so it's a waste of time to talk about it.
But you know, I'm always on a show, so I'm doing a video now, right?
I don't know what you're talking about.
You're going to sell a kid's video now, aren't you?
There's a lot of that in it.
You know, you know...
Oh, yes, yes, I've always thought I should warn you once.
What is it?
It has nothing to do with what you're saying.
You should stop it.
This kid's video.
What is it?
It's different.
What does it mean?
It means I'm going to talk.
This kid's video.
You don't talk.
Oh, you don't talk first.
Stop.
Stop it.
And?
I'm going to announce it now.
Oh, you're going to announce it now, so you don't talk.
Yes, and?
If you keep saying that, I don't know what you're going to do.
I don't know what you're going to do.
You're really weird.
Well, you know...
This kid's video is going to be released.
Wait a minute.
I'm not doing anything.
I'm not doing anything meaningless.
Hey, you know...
You know, you know...
Stop it.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Hey!
You know, you know...
You know...
You should do it properly!
I can't draw this.
Let's be careful.
We're both...
Come and do it!
Let me do it freely!
So in that video...
What's wrong with you?
No, no...
There's a lot of content in that video.
That's what I'm saying!
You know, normal videos are edited a lot.
Yes, yes...
Here you go.
I don't care. Here you go.
I'm really about to die.
Why?
No, I drank a sponge and I'm already tired.
I told you!
With a sponge?
No, you hang like this...
And you play a game like this with your feet.
From a high place.
And if you fall, you get a sponge and you go up.
I drank it and...
Suddenly, it came running towards me!
I got stuck!
And I drank a sponge and I'm already tired!
Why is it like this?
You're okay, right?
Of course you're okay!
When you eat at home, why do you have seven sticks in your head?
Um...
They say there are seven kinds of food.
Say it.
Meat...
Or sales?
Huh?
What do you mean "sales"?
Meat or...
What else do you think there is?
You said "there is" so you say it!
Um...
Fish.
There are seven of them.
No, say it!
Well, I'll say it later.
Say it.
Let's say all of them.
What do you mean "say it"?
Um...
Meat or...
So when you eat meat or...
You say okay sales...
It will be summer soon, but...
I'm weak and want to go to the sea, but I'm in trouble.
How can I be a macho man like you?
How did you become a macho man?
Okay, I'll say it.
Um...
The capital city.
Let's run.
When did you become a macho man?
We came to Stockholm about 5 years ago!
You became a matchman in 5 years?
I became a matchman on Mondays, but not on Tuesdays.
If Cleopatra's nose was a little higher, the world would have changed.
Matsumoto-san, how would things have changed?
History is a terrible thing. It changes a little, but it changes a lot.
For example, you're doing a speech right now.
For example, if you had longer arms.
For example, if you had 2 meters.
Only this?
If you only had 2 meters, downtown manzai would have been like this.
But at that point you chose me as your partner?
A 2 meter tall man...
With slanted arms...
That's right, that's right.
If you think about it like that, downtown didn't exist.
- If it was longer, right? - If it was longer, downtown didn't exist in Japan.
It's just that people say that there are a lot of old men with slanted arms.
That's the scary story of elementary school students.
Dogs often chase their own tails and run around. What is that, Mr. Matsumoto?
It's like a high spirit.
Dogs?
Yes, they want to raise their rank.
Dogs do that?
Yes, dogs themselves.
They want to move forward. They want to live a life above one rank.
But it has nothing to do with dogs.
So you want to raise your rank, your talent rank, right?
No, of course not.
Everyone wants to be one rank higher.
Of course, of course.
Even little birds want to fly higher and fly further into the sky.
That's what I think.
Of course, it's the same for dogs.
Let's go around. I want to go around.
I want to go around. That's what I think.
Go around, go around, go around, go around.
I want to be an old man.
Why do you want to be an old man?
You can't be an old man!
That's my line.
Are you stupid?
You've seen it before.
Everyone stops you right away.
If a dog is running around, you say, "He's stupid," and hug him.
Let it go once.
Go around, go around, go around.
No, I don't like it.
It's true.
I'm scared.
Let's do a loan.
I don't have any money.
From a dog to a new dog.
I don't have any money.
I want to see it.
It's true.
It's amazing.
If you let it go once, it's true.
Dogs go around and around like old men.
They'll take pictures of you.
Why?
You!
I'll kick you out of school!
Shut up! Shut up!