AISubs v3.5
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday dear Hama-chon.
Happy birthday to you.
How many times do I have to say it?
Happy birthday!
32 years old.
Champagne is served in front of you.
Cheers!
Happy birthday!
Now, it's time for "Tourist Book Publishing Commemorative Exhibition".
It's rare for us to appear in such a gorgeous place like this.
Yes, it is.
It's gorgeous, isn't it?
Moreover, this book is selling so well now.
Oh, is it?
If it's selling well, let's sell it more.
It doesn't say much, though.
No, it doesn't say anything.
"Why Chiki-chiki?" It's the second time.
Now, today...
Yes, yes.
Now that we're here...
Yes.
For those of you who bought it...
Yes.
Well, it's a gift, isn't it?
Yes, of course.
We have to add value to it.
Sometimes...
It's sad, isn't it?
Yes, yes.
So, well...
Well...
Let's do it.
Yes, yes.
Let's do it.
If we don't have a buyer, it won't start.
One book is 900 yen.
Let's do it.
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
Do you need a book?
Oh, it's her!
It's her!
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's 900 yen now.
Oh, I'm sorry.
If you don't pay for it...
Huh?
...it's a violation.
Thank you very much.
No, it's not a violation.
Thank you very much.
Now, go ahead.
Is it empty?
Yes.
It's almost empty.
I don't have much.
Is it empty?
Correct!
Now, this is the product you are supporting.
Look at this video.
Are you going to do it?
Yes, I'm going to do it.
This product...
When we did this serious shooting...
We did it twice!
But...
This product is for you.
This is for you.
This product is for you.
Thank you very much.
Congratulations!
Can I not wear it?
You can try it on.
It's a waste of time.
It's hard to wear.
Can I go home like this?
Yes, you can!
Go home like that.
Thank you very much!
Dad, is this how you wear it?
Is this how you wear it?
Thank you very much!
It's 900 yen.
Thank you very much!
Here you go.
Thank you very much!
Here you go!
I hope you like it!
I like it!
Can I try it on?
Dad!
You can try it on!
Can I try it on?
You can try it on!
Let's go!
Be careful!
I'll give you this, Dad!
Here you go!
Since you're here, Dad, why don't you try it on?
I like it!
What should I do with it?
I like it, Dad!
Please write it while saying "yeah, yeah, yeah"! Thank you very much!
Thank you very much, Dad!
Do you need a book?
Here you are!
If you don't buy it, it's a waste of money!
One book for one person!
We rarely miss anything!
I got it!
You can say you only got it right!
Please look over here!
He's the first one!
Here you are!
Now, producer Suga was sliding.
Look at this, please!
It's a live show!
I'm only sliding for you!
Suga is only sliding for you!
I'm only sliding for you!
Is this a hit?
This is a hit, right?
Hit!
I'm only sliding for you!
This is a good one!
I'm only sliding for you!
This is a good one!
Hit!
Now, his Mickey Mouse is sliding for you.
Now, I'm only sliding for you!
I'm only sliding for you!
When will he learn how to ride a horse?
Now, this is how you ride a horse in Canada.
Thank you!
This is my dad.
Oh, your dad. That's good.
This is my daughter, Nozume.
But you can call me dad, too.
Correct!
The next product is...
You can see it by looking at it!
This is my dad's product!
Congratulations!
Congratulations, dad!
You can see Yamazaki's gag!
No. 1!
Congratulations!
Close your eyes, dad!
Congratulations!
No. 5!
Moe's Burger!
Thank you very much!
Mr. Toshiza, have you ever had a matchmaking session?
No, it's my first time ever.
Oh, I see.
We don't have one either.
Yeah, it's our first time.
I'm nervous.
What's this?
Let's see...
There might not be much in there.
Now, the winner is...
Godzilla!
Heiko has won!
You can have this one.
And you can have this one.
You two can have each other's.
I'm sure you'll be thrilled when you see this.
Now, this bikini pants that the director was wearing at the time...
You can have this one.
Thank you very much!
Now...
You won!
Stop it! Stop it!
It's hot! It's hot!
You're like a nosebleed.
Now...
Let's see this tiger's nosebleed in person!
Now, Mr. Yamasaki!
Yes!
Now, Mr. Yamasaki!
Congratulations!
Yes, it's done!
You can't really see this kind of thing in real life!
- Hello! - Hello!
- You look like a fox! - Yes!
- You have a soft chair! - You look like you're in a good mood!
You look like you're about to say something funny!
- It's annoying! - You look like a cab driver!
- Well, you know... I thought I was in a good mood today! - What do you mean?
- No, no... - You like Mr. Shigaki!
This is normal, isn't it? It's not much different from your usual dandy Matsumoto, isn't it?
- I don't really want to say this, but... - You didn't say anything!
- Your ribs are broken! - They're not broken! They're not broken!
I didn't even go to the hospital, but they're broken!
Even when I was told I was going to die as a doctor, I was like "ah, it hurts!"
My ribs are broken!
Stop it!
It's not broken!
It's broken!
You said it wouldn't move like that if it was broken!
But I'm wearing a corset right now!
You just put it on like this!
No, no, no! It's broken!
Who said it? You know it yourself!
I said it wouldn't move like that if it was broken!
But when you touch it one by one, it sounds different!
It has a really low tone!
It's not wood!
Then it's really broken!
Because it's broken!
I understand!
Because it's broken!
Then why...
Because it's broken!
Then why is your ribs broken, Matsumoto Matsumoto?
My ribs are broken!
Let me explain!
If you don't ask me this, you won't know what's broken!
You're being persistent! It's not broken!
Don't touch me! It really hurts!
Let me explain why it's broken!
Um...
It's annoying!
When I was playing God's End, Itao was doing shoulder controls.
You were there, weren't you?
When I was doing shoulder controls, I was sitting at the table and looking at it like this.
Usually you look at it through the monitor, but I couldn't see it!
And there was a pipe chair, so I got on top of it and tried to look at the monitor.
The pipe chair is like this, isn't it?
When you put your weight on the back.
Yes, yes, and my legs are like this.
And I was standing on the back of the pipe chair and I fell down and there was an iron nail in the back of me.
Really?
A nail?
It's stuck in there.
It's like this on the side.
Anyway, there was an iron plate and I hit it hard.
It was hard to do a variety show.
If it was a drama, everyone would have stopped and gathered and shouted "Wasshoi!"
Why "wasshoi"?
It's melted, why "wasshoi"?
Yes, yes!
I don't like it!
I can't do it!
They can't do it!
I couldn't breathe for a moment.
It was difficult to breathe for a while.
But I was laughing while shooting with the camera in front of me.
It was funny.
I couldn't help it.
I'm fine.
It's not broken.
It's really hard.
It's a hit and run.
I don't think it's a hit and run.
Why is that?
I can't get out of it.
So it's a hit and run.
Above all, the broken ribs are already broken.
I'm fine with that.
You're lying.
It's a hit and run.
That's a big deal.
It's not a hit and run, but it's a hit and run.
It's a hit and run.
I thought it was amazing.
"The Moment You Fall Down".
How many seconds is this?
It's fast.
It's fast, isn't it?
It's not fast at all.
I thought it was over the moment I fell down.
I've been thinking about a lot of things since I fell down.
If I fall like this and hit my head,
maybe I'll lose consciousness and be taken to the hospital.
Maybe I'll lose consciousness and be taken to the hospital.
That's what I'm thinking about.
Can you think like that?
I'm thinking about it.
It was fun.
You lied to me, didn't you?
You're lying.
No, I'm serious.
The chop is a lie, but...
No, I'm serious!
Chop it now!
The chop is a lie, but...
No, it's a lie!
Well, I'm serious.
I'm sorry.
I think I've been pulling all-nighters for a month now.
That's not possible!
No, it is.
You came all the way here yesterday!
No, but I'm wearing a corset now.
So what?
You told me to go see a doctor and wear a corset.
What are you going to do with a corset you bought around there?
Why?
Go see a doctor and get a shave for now.
I wonder why I got a shave.
Let's go to the haragi.
It's hot.
Oh, hello.
Mr. Shah.
No way!
It's Mr. Shah!
It's been a while.
I heard you two used to be together.
Well, I didn't know Matzee was this famous.
Who told you that?
It's been a while!
You two are like twins.
Did you draw this?
Of course.
It's not a tiger, it's a Fujiide.
Oh, I see!
Fujiide?
What's Fujiide?
It's a Fujiide.
What's a Fujiide?
It's the latest Fujiide.
What's a Fujiide?
It's the latest Fujiide.
Shah is dancing hara.
Cappore, cappore.
It's been a while since you played the guitar.
That's right.
Matzee.
Oh, is it okay?
It's totally fine!
I didn't think I'd be able to play like this in front of an audience.
Can I really do it?
Of course you can.
Really?
How many people do you want me to play?
How many?
How many do you want me to play?
You can play as many as you like.
As many as I like?
Yes.
Are you holding it down here?
Wait! You're holding it down too much!
Too much!
My stomach hurts.
Wait!
Wait a minute.
Can you show it to Char?
Oh, that's right.
Of course.
Well, if you don't mind...
Then...
I'll play it.
The one you were playing before.
Yes.
Ah, that one! That one!
Well, Matsumoto-san will be in charge of the action.
Yes, of course!
You'll be in charge of it.
Char, you're still not good enough!
Okay, okay!
Hey!
While you still have this sound...
You're disgusting!
While you still have this sound...
Char, did you find out?
- Hasn't it changed from before? - Well...
- It's a little rounder now. - Rounder?
- Kindness used to be so tight back in the day. - Yeah.
Yeah, we used to fight all the time.
- It was like we were in a gang. - Shut up!
Come on, hit me in the nose!
You guys are dirty!
- Thank you for coming today. - Thank you.
- Thank you.
You guys are dirty!
- You don't teach us anything! - That's true.
We're old friends.
I'm surprised you came all of a sudden.
- You're surprised, right? - That's true.
- Right? It's the same thing. - That's true.
- This fits your current situation, right? - What is it?
When you're sad or in pain, what do you do?
- When you're sad or in pain, what do you do? - Yeah.
- When you're sad or in pain, what do you do? - Well...
I'm usually a bridal.
A bridal?
You know what I mean.
- He's a bridal. - So...
I don't wear a wedding dress at home yet.
I haven't worn it even once. When will you wear it?
- I take it out and... - You're still wearing it?
I walk around and...
Ah, hurry up.
Cool!
I feel like you're up to something!
I really feel like you're up to something!
Even in sex, I feel like you're up to something weird.
I feel like you are.
No, I'm always like this.
It starts with a 0 and ends with a 0.
I feel like you're wearing socks.
I feel like you're up to something.
Why?
It's because I'm sour, but I usually wear socks.
I'm serious about this.
You've come this far and you still don't want to take off your socks?
I don't want to keep you waiting.
Aoyama-kun...
What? Four people?
Aoyama-kun...
That's not fair!
We've been waiting for you to take off your socks for about an hour!
And you know, this is how I am.
I didn't devote everything to you.
Huh?
That's a mistake!
No, no, no!
I'm just wearing socks!
That doesn't mean anything.
I'm just wearing white socks.
Ah, of course you are.
Of course you are, Chirorin!
Who's Chirorin?
The only life expectancy...
Why are you so low?!
What do you mean "low" when you're talking?!
That's what you don't know?!
Why are you so angry?
The only life expectancy is...
I don't know!
It's really fast.
It flies like "pyon"!
It died in midair.
It's flying!
Why does it die when it flies?!
When it flies, it's going to land properly.
Of course, it's only...
That's right!
It wants to go all the way up there.
And you say "All right, go ahead!"
And you fly "all the way up there! Yay!"
And you get a kick...
In midair.
Oh, no! It's getting close!
I'm sleepy! I'm sleepy! I'm sleepy!
Oh, no! Oh, no! What is it?! It's cold!
Is there a theme for "Downtown"?
What kind of song is it?
There's no theme for "Downtown".
Is there a theme for "Downtown"?
There is, you idiot!
Who made it?
Me, me.
Tell me.
No, no, you can't go there!
And then what?
You're an idiot!
And then you enter Okinawa.
Why?
It has nothing to do with Okinawa.
No, no, you can't go there!
Why don't you make it a debayashi?
What debayashi?
Stop this music.
Oh, the kids' music?
Yes, the kids' music.
It always has an opening, doesn't it?
Ladies and Gentlemen
Don't do that.
Don't do that?
Let me hear it properly, then!
Bamba-bamba-bamba-bamba, you can't do that.