AISubs v3.5
I did it!
What is it?
3, 2, 1!
Oh! Oh!
Wait!
I did it!
Wow!
Yes!
Yes! I'm in Japan!
Let's go!
Oh! I did it!
I did it!
Yes!
I did it!
I don't like losing by choosing!
It's been a while! It's been a while since I won!
Thank you, Kouhaku Utagassen!
I was red over there and over here, too.
Well, it doesn't matter.
I'm relieved that it's over here.
First episode of "Gaki no Tsukai"
Chikichiki! Ninety-five-year-old young entertainer, "Tatoeyo Senshiken"!
It seems like you have two guests today.
Yes, today...
The main guest is wearing a number tag.
Yes, yes.
From the first row to the third row.
I see.
Big brothers, sisters, uncles and aunts.
Yes, yes.
These people will be the main guests.
Yes, I see.
Your "tatoeyo"...
Yes?
Your "tatoeyo" is...
This...
Your nose hair...
Your "tatoeyo" is...
My eyes are getting blue...
Where is it blue?
You're a foreigner, aren't you?
You're completely Japanese, aren't you?
The part where I let my bangs flutter...
Where is it?
It's short!
"Tatoeyo Senshiken"!
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome!
Now, let's go in order.
Mr. Yamazaki!
Yes!
Please, give me your number.
Understood.
Mr. Yamazaki, you've got two here.
Yes, I'm a manly man.
Is this a tofu party?
Oh, so the "tatoeyo" has already begun!
It has begun, hasn't it?
Oh, wonderful!
Now, what number?
Number five!
Oh, it's him!
Now, please go to the stage.
It stinks!
Now, Mr. Yamazaki!
"Tatoeyo"!
"Maneki-neko"!
- Yes! - Yes!
- Hino-kun! - "Fuku-dasao"!
You just watched it!
- It's no good, right? - It's no good! It's no good at all!
- It's no good, right? - It's not like that! Saying "tatoeyo" is not like that!
- What is the correct answer? - The correct answer is...
- Yes! - The correct answer is...
- Is it correct? - Yes!
- Please laugh! - Please laugh!
- Is it correct? - Please laugh!
- Is it correct? - Yes! It's correct!
- What is the correct answer? - "Hana-ouji"!
When you say "Hana-ouji", I'm like...
Hmm...
It's amazing that you're pleased!
- Um, "tatoeyo" doesn't hurt you! - It makes you pleased!
- It makes you laugh and it doesn't hurt anyone! - I see!
- That's a good word, "tatoeyo"! - This is "tatoeyo"!
- It's "tatoeyo"! - Please say it!
- It doesn't hurt, does it? - Now, the next number!
- What is it? - It's number 3!
- It's number 3! Now, go ahead!
- This is difficult! - Yes!
If you don't have it, you don't have to!
I'll go "ton-ton", okay?
You don't have it, you don't have to!
No, no, no!
Mr. Yamazaki! Mr. Yamazaki!
You don't have it, you don't have to!
Mr. Yamazaki! That was funny!
That was funny!
Oh, you're free to come forward and show your face if you like.
You're all coming out of your rooms?
I knew you didn't have it.
I knew you didn't have it!
You're lying!
Okay!
Okay, next!
Yes, what number?
Number 13!
It's a man.
Okay!
This person.
This is so hard!
Give me an example!
Number RH-5222!
Okay, someone else!
Yes, yes!
Yes, Mr. Yamazaki!
A person making Japanese sake!
That's fine.
Let's have him say "give me an example".
Yes, please!
Give me an example, please!
I'll say it.
A horse's quarter.
What are you saying?
He...
It's fine! He's laughing!
He's laughing, so it's fine!
I won't hurt you with "a horse's quarter".
I-it's fine, right?
Even with this...
It's a horse's quarter, isn't it?!
Okay, next!
Yes, Mr. Yamazaki!
Is it correct?
It's number 8!
Number 8!
It's here!
I don't know if it's good or bad, either!
Everyone, please read it out loud!
See, he's saying something!
Okay, Tanaka!
Give me an example!
Ken!
Take a seat. Thank you, Tanaka!
End!
Number 28!
Go ahead!
Yes!
Thin forehead!
Yes!
Beard!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
You're quick to react!
Tanaka!
Yes!
I'm looking for a part-time job right now!
Okay!
Okay, let's go with "nothing"!
"Nothing" is fine with me.
Should we start over from the opening?
Yamasaki-san!
Yes!
Eyes closed!
"Nothing" is fine with me!
I say it all the time!
Really?
Yes!
No, me too...
I want to say it! I want to say it!
Yes!
Number?
Number 11!
Oh, number 11!
Yes!
So you're looking at him, right?
Yes!
Okay, Yamasaki-san, give me an example!
A priest!
Am I wrong?
No!
Not at all!
Am I wrong?
Not at all!
Number 11 is...
a "predator"!
Oh, number 20!
Oh!
Go ahead!
What is this person?
Yes!
Excuse me!
Yes!
Here I go!
Yes!
Successful laundry!
Well, it's a success, right?
It's a success.
He said it like that too.
No, I just clapped and laughed!
Thank you!
You will be shown!
Thank you!
Number 31.
You were in there too, right?
I was in there, I was in there.
Yes!
Mr. Yamasaki!
Takoyaki!
You're hurt!
Why?!
Isn't it cute, takoyaki?!
This is...
Hangyodon's girlfriend.
You!
You will be shown!
Number 21 is good, right?
Road's eighth chapter.
That...
That's...
What is it, everyone?
Then let's go with number 10.
Yes!
Number 10!
I don't know if it's the last one.
Yes!
Nobita-kun's live-action version!
It's some kind of food, right?
You noticed it, didn't you, takoyaki?!
You noticed it, didn't you?!
Then shall we go with number 24?
There seems to be something about number 24.
Light bulb?
Hey, wait a minute! Don't ask me that!
What's with that "light bulb"?
But, well, a light bulb isn't a bad thing.
Then tell me!
This is...
some kind of seed.
He's laughing like crazy!
He's always laughing like that.
Hello, hello.
Well...
I can't do it today.
What's wrong?
Well...
I have a terrible nosebleed.
Is it a cold?
It's terrible!
I can't breathe at all!
Is it clogged up in here?
I can't breathe at all!
Well...
I really wanted to take a break.
When I think about the faces of each and every customer...
I can't take a break!
They're all waiting for me!
Well, well, that kind of feeling is important!
Of course, of course! I don't mind! I don't mind at all!
No, no, really!
Of course, of course!
This job is hard, isn't it?
You can't take a break!
I'm better now, though.
I was in a bad condition in the beginning.
You're still fluffy today, aren't you?
You're so cute!
Come here!
This is...
Well...
If you don't have anyone, I'll say it, but...
I do have someone, you know...
You have someone in front of you.
I do have someone in front of me, you know...
Of course, of course!
Well...
You're my bodyguard, aren't you?
Well, that's good, you know!
Obviously you didn't know!
What's with you and your darkness?
At the end of the year, the day before the baseball match...
I was driving alone in a 39 degree cold weather...
I went to the emergency hospital...
Don't say it like that!
It's true!
I was waiting for the two of you...
It was cold in the hallway...
I'm sure you're lying.
You're not alone!
I'm sure you're lying!
There's a lot of people waiting for you at the hospital!
That's right!
There's a lot of people!
There's a lot of people like that, right?
Are you okay, Murakami-san?!
I'm going to take off your mask now!
Hang in there!
There's a lot of people like that...
Anyway, Murakami-san...
While I was going somewhere...
Hang in there!
Murakami-san!
If you're not feeling well, say it now!
Murakami-san...
I'm sorry...
It's too late!
You're alone and you're in trouble!
You're talking alone!
You're disgusting!
I don't need anything!
You're disgusting!
I told you to hang in there!
It was hard for me, but I laughed while listening to it!
It's a lie!
There's a lot of people like that...
An overhead came and carried me...
Something's weird...
Something's weird!
What's weird?!
Something's weird...
Something's weird with my head...
You're talking to yourself!
You're laughing at everything!
You're the one who's sick!
Shut up!
Huh?
Before you said that...
I went to the hospital and asked for a moment...
I couldn't pee...
Isn't that painful?
You're laughing because you can't pee, right?
You're past it!
I'm not sick!
I'm still fine...
Of course you are!
It's a tough job...
I couldn't breathe...
What's that?!
I couldn't breathe...
You know, it's a nuisance at night, isn't it?
It's like a really blooming sunflower.
Do you know? I'm desperate to live!
When I was young, I used to do it myself...
Ah! I'm sorry, but...
It's been a long time since you won me!
Thank you very much for that set!
It's nothing!
It's just that, when you decide, in the match...
If I win and you choose red and I win, it's fine...
If you win and I win, it's fine! It's fine!
If you say that with that ugly face of yours...
In the end, losing is a really lame story I just came up with!
Lame, isn't it?
Fuu!
Look, I said "Fuuki, hui!" and you said "Hui, hui, hui!"
What's that supposed to mean?
You decide the rules.
What's that supposed to mean?
Give me a break.
On New Year's Day, our staff gave me this mask.
When we arrived in Hawaii...
That's right! You said you were going to Hawaii!
When we arrived, we put on our masks and said, "We're going to a party."
You should have asked me!
You were wearing it.
I didn't think you'd say that, so I took it off and left.
But you didn't say anything.
If you'd said you were going to a party, I'd have been happy.
That wide show?
Yeah!
You didn't say anything?
I didn't watch it!
You're working, so you probably didn't watch it.
There's nothing in Hawaii!
There wasn't a party, but...
Isn't there something like that?
Something you feel good about when you scratch a corner of Hawaii?
Isn't there something like that in Hawaii?
I don't know!
I'm going to satisfy my sexual desires!
Isn't there something like that in Hawaii?
Something you feel good about when you scratch a corner of Hawaii?
I'll leave it at that.
What?!
Are you going to drag me into this?
Forget it.
Why?
It's hard for me to do it.
Don't worry about it.
Are you having sex?
No!
Drink it! Drink it!
You're such a pain in the ass!
I'm sorry to say this, but girls' underwear and bras are on sale, right?
Yeah.
At the brucella shop.
What are you talking about?!
Those things aren't for sale!
Stop it!
(Laughter)
My jaw is like a potato.
(Laughter)
I want to put up with it.
(Laughter)
I've been saying it all year, this New Year.
What did you do?
No, I didn't do anything.
I didn't do anything, you bastard!
(Laughter)
Well, I've been doing it all the time.
What are you doing?
(Laughter)
What am I doing?
(Laughter)
Are you coming?
I've been doing it all the time.
What are you doing?
(Laughter)
I've been doing it all the time.
(Laughter)
I've been doing it all the time.
(Laughter)
(Music)
The downtown Santa Hamada is still wrong.
(Laughter)
The bigger downtown is...
Is it wrong?
The bigger is Santa Hamada and the smaller is Santa Hamada.
Is there anything else you can remember?
That's how it is even now.
Yeah.
You're wrong about Santa Hamada, aren't you?
Yeah, but it's enough. I can afford it.
You're wrong about Santa Hamada...
Am I wrong?!
(Laughter)
Um...
(Laughter)
Northern people.
(Laughter)
Is there anything else you can remember besides the bigger and smaller ones?
Hmm...
Well, there are a lot of things, aren't there?
What are there?
Of course, there are a lot of things!
What are they?
Hmm...
What are they?
Hmm...
What are they?
Hmm...
There's a lot of them!
There's like 50,000 of them!
Oh, what are they?
The one with the tattoo and the one without it.
Which one is without it?
Why?!
Without it...
Something like that.
Oh, I see.
The one with the saber and the one without it.
Hahaha!
That's easy to understand.
And...
And what else?
The one with the madara and...
What?!
The one with the sapphire in its eyes.
The one without it.
Hahaha!
That's the easiest way of remembering it.
That's the easiest.
Yes, yes, yes...
The one with the sapphire in its eyes...
Hahaha!
That's what the old woman said.
There's no mistake.
No mistake.
Why do old people tremble?
Hahaha!
Do they tremble?!
Old people do tremble.
Old people and small dogs usually tremble.
Hahaha!
But it's not because it's cold.
What?!
It's not because it's cold.
It has nothing to do with it!
Old people don't tremble because it's cold.
Old people tremble even in midsummer or in late autumn.
Hahaha!
First of all, they seem to be motivated.
They seem to be motivated.
Like "We can still go on!"
If you think "we can still go on!", do you tremble?
What is that? Please tell me!
So, you try to go somewhere, right?
And you do it like...
What is it?
The power to be pulled!
Is it working somewhere?
It's working.
You're stopping it!
You do it like...
You're doing it like...
It's a matter of time!
Hahaha!
What is the most painful sentence or sentence word you've heard?
For me, it's "kirikiri".
Hahaha!
You're funny.
Ah, but now that I think of it, it seems like it hurts even if you say it over and over again, right?
Does it?
Yes.
Don't you think so?
Of course not!
"Zuki zuki", "uzu...uzuuzu".
What is "uzuuzu"?
It doesn't seem like it hurts.
"uzuuzu"...
What is "uzuuzu"?
"uzuuzu" seems like it hurts, doesn't it?
"Princess princess".
Hahaha!
Is "toyokawa etsucii" okay?
No, I don't know.
"toyokawa etsucii" is okay?
"toyokawa etsucii"...
Why is it written "toyokawa etsucii" here?! Do you know?!
Hahaha!
No, you said it!
"toyokawa etsucii" and "takeda shinji" are accepted as neutral men, but how do you become neutral?
Hahaha!
I can't change it like that. I can't make that face.
But you know, sexy men, "sekushii"...
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
I'm always called "sekshii".
I'm called "sekshii", you know?
Hahaha!
I was called that in elementary school, you know?
You've been called "sekshii" since elementary school, haven't you?
I was called "sekshii" after "segawa".
Hahaha!
In English.
Hahaha!
Oh, I see.
Yes, yes, yes.
My achievement is really good, so it's different, but...
Yes, it's just "sekshii" after "segawa".
sekshii
Hahaha!
Yes, you said it.
Yes, you too!
Yes, you said it.
Hahaha!
You're really far from "sekshii".
Hahaha!
Right?
Hahaha!
Is it true?!
Not at all!
You don't look like "bonteiri" fashion anymore!
Hahaha!
No, wait a minute...
Have you ever done it?
I've done it a lot!
Hahaha!
No, I'm always "kawa" (skin)
Hahaha!
I'm really a man or a woman, I don't know.
Hahaha!
Oh, you can say that?!
Yes, yes, yes...
Even now, I still get called by "bonteiri".
And when I say "what?", they say "ah"...
Hahaha!
This is...
Hahaha!