AISubs v3.5
Kamaro.
For viewers,
If you want it,
It's worth 100,000 yen.
It's 25 inches.
It's a Christmas present.
Who is it? Can you hear me?
Thank you.
On the first floor, around "Gaki no Tsukai",
Christmas Special Superstar Mazamoto Aisha Kama's Dream Jumping Auction
Hello, Mazamoto Aisha Kama.
Today, we have gathered 500 people.
Thank you very much.
There are a lot of people, so from now on, it's a lottery.
Even if it's a lottery, you can only choose 20 people.
Now, let's have the super camera appear!
Let's go!
Here you go!
Christmas Time Again
Decoration is Gone
Hello!
Now, before we start the auction of Kama's Kobe number,
let me do a little research.
First of all, I'm sucking here.
No, no, no!
This is different!
What is it?
This is my calculation.
What? This is your calculation?
Yes, this is my calculation.
Oh, you know about it.
Yes, that's right.
Originally, this was a white camera,
but I made it look like a plastic model.
This plastic model is a little broken.
I was trying to lick it, so I got excited.
What? Who did it?
This guy did it.
This guy?
Yes, this guy.
Mazamoto-san, your nose is sticking out.
Oh, thank you.
We interrupt it! We interrupt it!
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
If you've been called, please come forward.
I don't have any questions about raccoons anymore.
Oh, you didn't have any from the beginning?
I knew it as soon as I saw you.
That's a "no"!
Let's get started.
Number 244!
Come forward!
Oh, he's not here.
Wait!
What's your name?
I'm Yonezawa.
How old are you, Yonezawa?
I'm 26 years old.
What did Yonezawa say today?
Retirement money.
Retirement money?!
Retirement money.
Ito Youkado Group.
433,200 yen!
- Decided! - Hey, wait!
Too fast! You said you'd keep it for now, didn't you?
Don't give it to me!
You look good in real life.
Another 200 bandai, 285.
Oh, it's a woman.
- Please. - Please, in the middle.
- What are you? - Body?
- Product. - Product.
- Can I look at you for a moment? - Yes, you can.
- Is this broadcasted on TV? - Yes, it is.
- This is really bad! - What are you doing?
Are you taking a picture?
You're out, out!
Hey, you're making me excited!
- What are you talking about? - When I was 15...
- When you were 15! - I was a sojourner.
- Now you're making me excited. - No, I'm not!
- Because you're out. - Oh, I'm sorry.
You were fast!
Because you're out.
- What is this blood? - Now it's...
- What should we call it? - Now it's...
- Isn't it... boin? - Yes, it is.
- What do you call it? - What do you call it?
- It's a little big blood. - Wow!
It's so hard!
Wow! I want to see it, too!
325!
Number 325!
- That's not what it means. - No, it's number 325.
- 325. - Number 325.
- No, it's not number 325. - 325.
- No, it's number 325. - Yes, it is.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
Oh!
- This is from Macchan's house. - Yes.
- The Robocop eye patch you threw away. - Yes, I threw away my Robocop eye patch.
Now he has...
Why do you have it?!
- I worked for Masumoto's moving company. - Yes, you worked for a delivery company.
- Did you eat a sleeping bag at that time?! - No, I didn't.
You're a criminal!
Number 124!
- Your name, please? - Asaba.
- Asaba-san! - Yes!
- What are you... - Today, I'm wearing a silver fox fur coat.
- A silver fox fur coat... - I brought it with me.
- How much does it cost? - I think it's about one million yen.
- One million?! - But I...
- I'll take it off for you! - But I...
I think it's absolutely wonderful, but...
What is it? What is it?
This is good!
Really?
Right, Gamma? What do you think?
Wear it and do it on set!
I can't... I can't stand it!
305th!
What's your name?
I'm Watanabe.
Yes!
What's this?
It's a present!
Eh, this is a present?
Who is this?
It's my mother!
Mother, is this really a present?
Yes!
Is it really okay?
Yes! I think it's about 100,000 yen...
It's definitely not 100,000 yen!
Will you be okay with food and laundry?
Food, laundry, cleaning, everything!
Will you be okay until the end of the night?
Yes! That's how it is!
Scary!
I definitely won't do it!
Mother, how much is pasta?
Hey, hey, are you interested?
70, 80...
Pasta for 70, 80 yen is too expensive!
Mother, that's too expensive!
340th!
Oh, this is...
That's it!
Don't say that anymore!
You're heavier than me.
This is heavy.
How much is this, Kotaro?
I didn't buy it.
How much is it?
It's sold out.
Sold out?!
Don't sell your sold-out stuff or my stuff!
No. 338!
Here it is!
It looks like you're a professional.
What is it?
Here you are.
Are you really working like that?
No.
This is what I'm going to do today.
It's really raw.
What is he going to do today? Is it this?
My specialty is welding.
Matsumoto-san doesn't play golf, but...
This is a golf club.
(Laughter)
Our staff also wants this.
This.
(Laughter)
Please come!
(Applause)
Manager Okamoto.
Well, originally, you know, when I hear various stories, Okamoto says, "I'll buy it."
By the way, it's mine, though. (Laughter)
No, it's not. The name is me, but when I said, "Well, well, you ride it," he made it his own and ran around.
He also borrowed a parking lot. (Laughter)
Yet, this is an auction. (Laughter)
But I said, "No, it's not."
I said, "Yeah, you've been bald lately." (Laughter)
I don't know. (Laughter)
So... (Laughter)
He bought me a car. (Laughter)
Mr. Yamazaki. Yes.
I brought you a lot of money.
Yes, I brought you a lot of money. (Laughter)
Here we go.
You! Mr. Matsumoto! It's an elephant! It's an elephant's mark!
♪ Matsumoto Hitoshi Center ♪ (Laughter)
You know, when I used to do the radio, I got a lot of exactly the same labels from white people. (Laughter)
Shut up! (Laughter)
Shut up, you bastards! (Laughter)
Go home! Go home!
Go home! You're waiting for me on TV! (Laughter)
Go home, you bastards! (Laughter)
(Laughter)
Mr. Yamazaki. Yes.
Um...
First of all...
Your autograph... (Laughter)
It's a down-down autograph. (Laughter)
You wrote this, didn't you? (Laughter)
(Laughter)
And one more thing.
I'll give you two a day off.
Yes.
(Laughter)
Really?
Yes.
Not on New Year's Day?
No.
(Laughter)
Well, then.
I will announce it!
(Drum roll)
It's Kyain's Udo-kun!
(Laughter and applause)
Hold it up.
I will announce it!
(Drum roll)
Mom!
(Cheers and applause)
By the way, do you have a driver's license?
Oh, yes.
Yes.
(Laughter)
After this, Mom will use various instruments.
Please.
Well, Mom will appear in this program from the first use of an instrument next year.
(Laughter)
Really?
Yes.
Well, shout it out.
(Laughter)
Who says that?
This program is really like an AD.
(Laughter)
Thank you.
(Laughter)
Yes.
Well, please give me a present.
Yes.
Yes, congratulations!
(Cheers and applause)
Ladies and gentlemen.
(Cheers and applause)
Thank you very much for coming. That's all I can say.
If you say that, you brought it, didn't you? I don't need it.
Wait! (Laughter)
Don't do that. (Laughter)
You brought it in the morning.
Thank you very much.
Now, uh, that movie, uh, it's amazing, uh, Harajuku's, uh, Omote-sando.
Ah, ah, ah, Christmas, right?
That's right, that's right. And, you know, some weirdos keep coming to see it.
I don't really care about Christmas.
No, no, that's why, uh... (Burp)
Uh, before that... (Laughter)
Ah, thank you for the Christmas present.
Ah, thank you. (Laughter)
The road ahead is congested, you know?
Ah, because everyone's watching it?
That's right, that's right, that's right.
I, uh, think that, you know, people in Tokyo and Kanto regions don't really see beautiful things, you know?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
No matter what you see, you don't really care about it.
We were born and raised in Kobe.
That's right, that's right.
No, no, that's not true! I was born and raised in Kobe!
You were born and raised in Kobe!
It's Kobe!
No, no, no, no, no!
Hyogo Prefecture, Amagasaki Prefecture! (Laughter)
Now, uh, how about it?
I'm not going to sing.
No, why not?! (Laughter)
Why would you sing, Aban?! And what are you going to sing?! (Laughter)
Do you want me to tell you a joke, Aban-san? (Laughter)
Once you see the night view of Kobe, you grow up looking at things like that.
There's nothing beautiful about it, you know?!
You know, Aban-san, you used to say "the bay bridge is beautiful, the bay bridge is beautiful."
I don't see it from the outside.
You should see the bay bridge, but you're on the bay bridge! (Laughter)
What are you going to do if you get swallowed up?! (Laughter)
Even I'm being watched! (Laughter)
It's ridiculous!
"I'm hungry, I'm hungry," and you're riding on grilled rice?! (Laughter)
Shut up!
No, it's weird! There's nothing like it!
Yeah, that's true, but...
Um, I don't know about you, but it's Christmas...
It's Christmas today, too!
Oh, is it?
You shouldn't be doing something like this!
Are you stupid?!
Well, I don't know about you, but you're an ugly couple, aren't you?
Oh, you're doing something great today!
Ugly couples...
What are you doing? Are you watching this at a love hotel?
I don't know, I don't know.
Are you laughing at ugly couples?
No, no, no, no!
You're laughing at me, ugly couple!
I'm sorry to say this, but...
Ugly couples are talking to each other like beautiful men and beautiful women!
I can't hear you!
Are you drinking something with wine?
You're making a weird face!
Oh, it's good!
Next year will be the same!
It's good!
That's bad.
That's...
That's bad.
You know, um...
That's right, isn't it?
You...
Well, you know...
It's not Christmas today, but...
What are you doing?
I'm going home.
Of course you're going home!
What are you doing?
I'm going home.
Why? What are you going to do?
No, I don't have any plans.
How many presents did you buy?
Last year, I bought five!
What's with that? It's evenly priced at about the same price.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
Why are you laughing?
You were betting on me, weren't you?
Ah, me, uh, Kouhaku.
Yes.
Well, uh, when I asked everyone's opinions...
They all said, "No, red should win."
Well, I don't know about that.
Yeah, and you know, the penalty game is already pretty much decided.
If you, Kouhaku, lose... you're gonna die.
You know, you're okay with a chainsaw?
You're okay with a thing that can go anywhere in the world?
You're okay with a chainsaw that can go in like this?
How painful is it?
It's pretty painful, isn't it?
The painful part...
Ah, the painful part, huh?
Yeah, I've been thinking about it.
I think it's going to be pretty intense.
I'm really looking forward to it.
Looking forward to what?
I'm really sorry about that.
No, I'm serious.
What do you think of that theory?
You know, I've been thinking about it.
Uh, uh, if I say it like this...
I don't know if you can see it in front of you, but...
You know, uh...
I've been thinking about cooking.
Oh, like the other day?
Abroad.
Yes, yes.
It's amazing.
It's amazing to watch this show!
Every week...
Every week, in front of a fool like me...
What?
Try it!
No way, it's definitely harder for me.
This is the kind of show where you really have to work hard.
Oh, you come out as a guest once!
Nyan!
Why do I have to come out?
I'm begging you, wake me up!
That much "gaaah" and in the end... "mazuppe"!
In front of the TV...
This is my partner! This is my partner!
Who do you think you're doing that with?
No, really, really...
It's funny, but...
That's how it is...
Have you decided where you'll go for New Year's?
If I go, it'll be Hawaii, right?
I'll go with Kamenji-san.
But you know, New Year's, right?
The white show is going on, right?
The white show is like this, you know?
If I come out, it'll be like "Is it a party today?"
You have to have that kind of spirit, you know?
You have to say it, you know?
That's right, that's right, that's right.
If you do that, I'll go out like this, you know?
If you have that kind of spirit...
If you do that, I'll go abroad like this, you know?
You've never bought me souvenirs, have you?
You piece of sh*t.
Send me New Year's cards too.
Why do you have to send me cards?
Send me cards!
Do you write New Year's cards?
I do.
Oh, you do?
I've never done that before.
I know you don't.
Why do you have your fingers like...
Your fingers...
You're listening to people like this, you know?
You look like Hozei.
I don't look like Hozei.
No, you don't look like him.
No, you should hang your voice like this.
Why do you do that?
Your nose hair is coming out of your right ear.
That's why you...
Don't say things like that on TV!
Hey!
What do you think of me?
You have an image of me, don't you?
My fans think I don't even poop.
They think I'm a teddy bear.
I'm not stupid!
When I get home, I'm like this.
My fans think like that.
They think I'm soft.
If I zoom in, you can't see me?
Then it's fine.
That's why you say things like that.
Then it's fine.
You say things like that. Don't say it!
Then who says it?
It's coming out, right?
Then don't say it.
Are you stupid?
Don't say sleepy things!
Let's sing.
Why are books in convenience stores lined up without glass?
Advertisement.
What do you mean?
I'm not interested.
You know I'm shaking it and you're like this.
That's...
New magazines come in.
It came in.
If you look at it from the outside, you can see it.
I'll leave it like this.
It's an advertisement.
What?
Macchan!
You always say something different!
Stop it!
Yes.
Lately, Mazuma-san...
What?
Lately, Mazuma-san hasn't been appearing in variety shows and dramas.
He came all the way from Ishihara Army.
What are you talking about?
Um...
Ishihara-kun, I don't know.
No, no.
Originally, Ishihara Yuujirou, Watari Tetsuya...
What?
After that, I was No. 3.
Ishihara Army has Yuujirou and Watari Tetsuya.
Who else?
Tachi Hiroshi?
Yes, yes, yes. Before that, it was me.
Tachi-kun didn't come later.
Tachi-kun is already over 40 years old!
Tachi-kun just came and I just joined.
You're Tachi-kun now!
Don't you know me?
Are you crazy, Tachi-kun?
What? You were already there when Yuujirou was still alive!
Yuujirou? Why are you talking about Yuujirou?
Oh, that room.
When the president was still alive.
He was already there.
Um...
When he got sick and was waving his hand from the balcony like this...
Watari-san was next to him!
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm behind that Watari-san!
You're not in the frame!
No, no, I'm not in the frame.
I'm just behind you! I'm right behind you!
Why are you standing like that?
You should stand like this!
No, no, no.
The president said, "You're still fat."
It was dangerous.
It was me in the beginning.
It was me until episode 2.
Who were you with?
Shibata Kyohei and...
Why did you change from episode 2 to episode 3?
The first episode was with Taka.