AISubs v3.5
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...
Wait, why?!
Everyone, look at this!
This is the Tsukkomi Machine I came up with!
Is it okay?
By wearing this, anyone can become a Tsukkomi!
If you wear this...
Um... who are you?
I'm Hamamoto.
Hamamoto Kenkichi-kun!
I'm Hamamoto Kenkichi.
Hamamoto Kenkichi-kun is no longer needed!
Usually, you can't become a Tsukkomi!
But by wearing this...
By wearing this, you can become a Tsukkomi!
This is good, but if you had this...
Switch on!
Where were you?!
Hey, hey, behind you! Don't do it in front of me!
Don't you get it?!
Like this!
In front of me...
In front of you?!
I'll keep doing Tsukkomi...
No, but you know, you've done this before.
Do it more like an amateur.
Ah, I see!
You might be able to say that.
Are you scared of those glasses?
But if you wear this...
It doesn't matter.
Switch on!
Wow, it's scary.
It's scary.
It's not funny.
It's nothing.
Why is it all?
Now, edit, edit.
Edit, edit.
Give me, give me.
I really hate it.
It's not funny!
It's not funny at all.
Switch it off.
It's not funny at all.
Switch it off!
It's not funny at all!
It's not funny at all.
It's not funny!
What should we do?
All of your jokes are like that.
It's not funny at all.
Around there...
It's not funny at all.
Sell it!
No, it's already cold.
Sell it!
Sorry, I was wearing it weakly.
I just realized it.
Look, you can wear it like this.
No, no, no.
It's already a "b".
b
Oh, it's not "b".
I don't know "b".
I'll put it in "e".
Is "b" okay? Is "b" okay?
Oh, it's okay.
Oh, I'll raise it to the maximum.
I'll do it like that.
You raised it so much!
I'll do it like that.
Oh, my body is weak.
It's very tight.
It's weak.
What are you doing?!
How about that yellow one?
Okay.
I'll put it in "e".
That's enough. Don't make me do things like this.
There's definitely something wrong with it.
Stop it!
It hasn't changed much.
I'll put it in "e".
The sound is...
Let's change places.
Switch on!
This customer might be different.
What do you mean?
Do it to me.
Do you want me to do it?
You don't want me to do it?
This is embarrassing!
I'll beat you up!
Alright, let's do it!
Alright, do it!
Ta-dah!
He's holding a cigarette.
This is getting bad.
At the end, you know...
Yes?
You look like Matsubokkuri.
He'll do it.
He won't do it!
He'll do it.
I'll do it like this.
He'll do it, right?
Alright, switch on!
Ta-dah!
Alright, Kanami.
Kanami will do it.
Do it to the person next to you.
Switch on!
Who are you doing it to?
Look!
Who are you doing it to?
Switch on!
Matsuburo-san, this is bad!
Matsuburo-san...
Anyway, let's go home.
Yes, let's go home.
Yes.
This week's opening is...
"Famous Scenes Week".
Until now.
Wait a minute.
You just got out of the audience seat, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
And you met everyone, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
Isn't this happening?
No, this is already... what is it?
Fan club...
...people.
Ah, I see.
Ah, that's how it is.
Yes.
Then...
...this week's "famous scenes week"...
...let's watch it.
Yes.
Hmph!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Don't say anything!
Good evening.
Ah, good evening.
You know, on a day like this, there's a bit of pressure.
Why is that?
If you don't make it more exciting than usual in a talk show, the opening will be all over the place.
What kind of song is it?!
Well, you know, the power of comedy is amazing.
Well, yeah.
Every time I watch it at home, "Huh? Was he laughing like this when we watched the opening?"
He's laughing as much as I think!
Anyway, after the show is over, everyone, please stay here for a little while.
We'll only record laughter.
I knew you wouldn't do it!
It wasn't funny, but it was funny, you know?
There are a lot of shows like that, right?!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Even though you're not there, why are you laughing like you did last time?!
I knew there were a lot of shows like that!
I'm not going to say who it is, but that's no good!
You know...
You're still doing well today, aren't you?
Tell me what's good about it!
Well, you know, this is mustard color, right?
And this mustard color and this mustard color are mixed in, right?
And this black line and this are black, so...
This is how black it is!
If you say it's black, it's a little...
Black is like this black...
You're making it up!
At home...
Yes?
Recently, you know, you know...
Let's make it a snack.
You know, right?!
This guy, this enemy was pretty bad!
Oh, yeah!
In the middle of the night, right?!
Ping pong, ping pong, it comes!
Oh!
Right?!
The monitor is like this...
Well, you can see it, but...
Yes, you can see it!
It's an ugly woman with glasses like this!
Yes!
Um...
"What?" "What is it?" but you say my name!
Well, that's just courtesy.
No, it's like saying "do you know me?"
Ah, you're saying "it's me"?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's me!
"I don't know you and it's a nuisance for me to come at this hour" and then "ping pong" "ping pong" "ping pong"
Well, it can't be helped
I was pressing it for a long time.
For about ten minutes "ping pong" "ping pong" "ping pong"
And then, after pressing it for about ten minutes, I suddenly got on the train and thought "ah, I should give up and go home"
Matcha!
Hey!
It's raw fish! Hey!
It's meat!
I'm shouting from below!
This can't be!
Hey, you can hear me!
He's up to something big!
"He's up to something big! This can't be!" and I called the police!
This can't be helped!
Yes, it can't be helped.
"And then "ping pong" "ping pong"
Look, you can't think about it here. You can't let it escape until the police come.
I thought I'd connect it and talked about various things.
I was a little gentle.
"Where are you from?" "I'm from Shizuoka."
Can I ask you a favor?
Don't laugh!
My car broke down.
Absolutely not.
I have to go home alone to Shizuoka, but I don't have any money.
So put me in there.
And lend me some money.
No, I don't know if you know me or not, but I don't know you.
So I won't lend you money.
As I was walking, you saw my face on the monitor, right?
Yes.
As I was talking, the police framed me on the monitor.
Yes, yes.
Yes, what are you doing?
Come over here!
Yes, I can't do it!
I wanted to see that monitor.
After a while, about ten minutes, I heard a voice again.
Again?
I'm sorry!
I won't come back!
That's what happened.
Brrr!
I really wanted to ride it!
The car broke down and I died!
Shut up!
I really won't come back.
Don't say that!
If you say you won't come back, will you come back?
No, it's your message, so if you say you won't come back...
It's not going to work.
If you say you'll come back...
It's going to work!
Of course it's going to work!
That's just how it is.
Right?
Again.
"No, I'm serious!" "Ah, I see. I'm glad you came."
But you know, there's a lot of professional wrestlers out there, right?
Like, Giant and Baba, there's always someone out there who's after you.
Oh, that's a good point. There's always someone out there who's after you.
"There's always someone out there who's after you." "Baba?"
Someone who's after you and wants you to win.
There's always someone out there who's after you and wants you to win.
There's all kinds of people out there.
Well, if you beat Baba, you can tell the world you beat him!
Beating Baba now would make me proud!
You shouldn't insult Baba!
"Who knows! It could make you proud!" "Of course it would, if you beat Baba!"
Even if you're a high school student with lots of money, you can't say, 'He beat Baba. Baba beat him.'
Well, if you're a strong and healthy guy, you can defeat him, right?
You can't do it! You shouldn't insult Baba!
What do you know about me?
Do you know how big I am?
Of course I know. I've seen you many times.
Is it bigger than you think?
No, I've seen you before!
No, I haven't! I've seen you before!
You're an idiot. You're an idiot.
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about?
You don't know what a fighter is.
That's not true.
A fighter is different from when you meet in the studio.
That's not true.
When you stand in the ring and you're about to fight, your angle becomes bigger.
For example, I'm standing like this now.
Yes, yes.
For example, let's say...
Let's say...
Let's say you're about to fight.
Your body will change completely.
Really?
Of course it will change.
How will you change?
First of all...
If you're about to fight, how will your body change?
First of all, this part will open up.
Why?
What are you doing?
Can a bird talk?
Can a small missile talk?
Can a caterpillar talk?
It's easy to move.
I can't move like this for a long time.
Don't underestimate caterpillars.
People who laugh at caterpillars cry because of caterpillars.
That doesn't matter.
It's hard for caterpillars to move because of caterpillars.
Caterpillars are scarier.
Caterpillars...
Are you stupid?
It's not that fast!
Why are you in such a hurry?
What will you do if you get caught?
It's not that fast.
Really, really.
Are you ready, Kagaki?
Yes.
Do it for now.
Yes.
It was light just now.
Why does an elderly person come closer to you when you talk?
You know, an old man with a loud voice won't break.
In that sense, you know,
you don't have much power just to rust.
Because you're close.
Um, Matsumoto...
Do you forget that?!
Do you lose your memory because of me?!
You know, um...
Even if I say it, you still don't know how an elderly person feels, do you?
Well, that's...
When you first think about what an elderly person is like...
Also, elderly people have a strong desire to be young again.
They talk as closely as possible with young people,
and if possible, they try to get in by looking at the other person's gap.
Um...
I'll come back!
You said it with all your heart.
What kind of scream is a happy scream? Please tell me.
Huh? It's not often...
You!
You're an old man with a loud voice who's inside!
Um, um, you have a mouth that's been put in!
There's no such thing as a scream!
Isn't that what they say in the news?
There is! There is, but there's no such thing as a scream.
They don't say "Aah!" or anything like that.
Then why do you have such words, you idiots?!
I'm the one who's angry.
You're the one who's doing it! You're the one who's saying it!
A happy scream isn't like that!
Then what is it?!
When a storm comes...
Yeah.
...that's not a happy scream.
That's why I'm telling you to tell me about it!
For example, you're walking down the street, right?
A million yen is chasing you. A million yen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You pick up that million yen, right?
Yeah.
Then what... what... what do you do?!
"Here's a million yen!" "Yes, it's chasing me!"
Here's a million yen!
Here's a million yen.
At that moment, isn't there a happy scream?!
Isn't there?!
A million yen... five yen...
Even if you're not aware of it, you're definitely saying it, right?!
Saying "here's a happy scream"...
You haven't noticed it, right?!
No, I might be saying it, but there's no such scream!
There is!
What about you?!
There's no happy scream, right?!
What kind of scream is it?!
What are you talking about?!
What are you thinking?!
Here's a million yen!
Hey, you found it!
I know, I know...
No, you don't know!
No, let me see!
You're too noisy!
What you're thinking right now is...
You're too noisy, you idiot!
No, wait!
Hey, hurry up and show her!
Should I do it?!
That's right, yes!
I see!
Do it, I said!
What are you talking about?!
Sorry, sorry, was my explanation not enough?
What's with you?!
That's why I'm telling you!
You're walking down the path, aren't you?!
Right?
Yes.
One million yen?
Yes.
Ouch!
What?
Really?
What was that?
That was "Oh, I'll fix it."
What are you doing?
It's a big hit.
It's a happy scream of Hirotaki Gakuman.
Oh, I'm happy. What can I do for you?
Right, right, right.
I want you to talk.
Oh, you prepared it, didn't you?
Right, right, right.
I was wondering what kind of happy scream you would make.
Uh...
Oh, I forgot.
Hey, wait!
If you say it a little more, it'll be a big deal.
Before you go and get it, forget it.
I didn't know that at the time.
You're telling me now, aren't you?
Yeah, I know.
Forget it.
Natali!
The End.
The lion king lion is the strongest animal in the jungle, but what is the weakest animal?
Quiet...
What is it?
What is its cry?
For example, the lion king lion is a very strong animal.
Grrr!
I'll say it.
It seems very strong.
That's right.
It can't win no matter how you think about it.
It's scary by voice.
And it's very weak.
It's really weak.
Its cry is weak.
Even a dog can be scary.
That's right.
But even a smaller animal like this...
What?
It's wet.
It's wet?
It's always wet.
Where is it?
It's in the kitchen.
Wait a minute!
It's an animal, isn't it?
Well... I don't know.
Maybe it's in a seasoning container.
What?
It's not like that.
It's not like that?
It's not like that at all.
How is it?
Its cry?
Yes.
Ouch, ouch, ouch...
What happened?
I don't know.
There is nothing like its cry!
There is nothing like its...
Ouch, ouch, ouch...
I don't like it.
That's what it said.
Isn't it talking?
It's talking and crying!
Even if the enemy comes, you'll be interested.
You'll be interested.
It's like Japanese.
It's not Japanese! It's talking and crying!
"Cook doodle do" and "freddo"
Oh, I see.
Matsumoto-san and Hama-san have heard a rumor that you're handsome.
So I have a question for Hama-san. What do you love about Matsumoto-san?
What?!
I'm starting to get embarrassed.
Wait, wait, what are you saying?
What are you saying?
That guy didn't...
I don't care anymore.
Should I say what I said back then?!
What?!
I was surprised.
My clothes were all torn up.
And you took a shower.
I took a shower.
And you came back.
And you cried for three days and nights.
That's disgusting.
But you should talk about it.
What is it?
What are you jealous of? Well, there's a lot of things I'm jealous of.
What is it?
There's a lot of things I want from you.
Well, I can't give you any of them.
I'm sorry.
I can't, I can't!
If you were to give me anything...
There's a lot of things I don't want from you.
Well, let's start with me.
When I woke up and saw you crying, I was really depressed.
I felt like I was being protected.
Why is that?
And now for you.
When you woke up and saw me crying, you were ranked up.
Damn you!
You said it.
I can say it myself, but...
Don't say it!
You didn't realize it when you woke up, did you?
Of course I didn't. I didn't see you when you woke up.
That's right.
Let's go to the bathroom.
Let's go to the bathroom and brush your teeth.
Is this me?
Why do you speak standard Japanese?
When I looked in the mirror, I could see you clearly.
Who?
You.
Me?
Yes, you could see me clearly.
Could I?
When you were walking on the street, everyone was staring at you.
Wait a minute.
What?
What? Wait!
Wait!
What?
Are you going to come out of the store?
Yes.
I'm going to drink a lot.
Wait a minute!