AISubs v3.5
On the first episode of "Gaki no Tsukai", we measured Dr. Masumoto's sudden entertainer.
Dr. Masumoto!
Yes, yes.
Finally, this day has come.
Well, no one has done it on TV before.
No one has done it!
Well, various entertainers...
Yes.
Today, we are going to measure it.
Dr. Masumoto, it's your first time, isn't it?
Yes.
Well, even though we are called entertainers...
Yes.
We have gathered people who are quite big today.
When we say "entertainers", people say things like "how many people did you kill?" and so on.
That's right.
But we don't know if those things are really worth it.
Yes.
On the first episode of "Gaki no Tsukai", we will show you...
We will show you?
We will show you!
Ah! Are you going to quit?
Now, I will show you.
Ah! Is that so?
Do you know what it is?
Well, I will tell you now.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Which game do you play?
This program is brought to you by the sponsors you see here.
Does anyone know what it is?
Well, my machine has been studying and studying...
Dr. Masumoto!
Sumi is here!
Sit down!
Sumi!
Sit down!
Dr. Masumoto, is this an opportunity?
Yes, it is an opportunity.
Now, let's see it.
*******!
Come here, you!
I won't go.
Now, we will have the professor's questions.
Answer me. Answer me with "yes" or "no".
"Yes".
Even if you play baseball as a pitcher, you are a batter at night.
"Yes"!
OK!
I see.
"No"!
You throw to the left, but you are right-handed at that time.
"No"!
You throw to the left, but you are right-handed at that time.
OK!
I see!
"Yes"!
Professor, what's going on?
What's this?
It's my lunch today.
Who's lunch?
Oh, I see.
Your lunch is thick.
Yes, it's black.
It's not a big deal.
Is it this thick?
It's impossible, professor.
No, it's not a big deal.
Is it a little thicker?
It's thicker!
No, it's not.
Oh, it's not!
Oh, it's a little thin.
I see.
But it's amazing that you have this much.
Yes, it's a great thing.
That's what you say, isn't it?
You've done a lot of things since you were a kid, haven't you?
Do you have this much as a sportsman?
Yes, it's coming out a little.
Wow! It's coming out!
Something yellow is coming out.
Well, Hamada-kun.
Yes.
The next patient is...
Oh, it's here!
Professor, is it Garder or Taka?
Go ahead! Go ahead!
What are you doing?
Well, patient with trouble, come here.
I'm not laughing.
Calm down. Calm down.
Sometimes you step on your own ball.
That's...
Sometimes it's dangerous, but...
Sometimes you say "oh no", but you say "yes, no" right?
"No".
"No", right?
Often, after...
After you're done...
You get slapped.
No, I'll be honest with you.
Be honest!
No, I won't.
I'm the type of person who bluffs, so I bluff.
I see, I see.
If you say it and end up sleeping with me, it'll be a big problem.
I'll bluff.
Oh! It's out!
It's out!
Let's open it!
It's coming out. It's coming out.
What is it?
- What's this? - It's so small!
Is it a candy?
- No, it's a little... - It's so small!
It's not reliable!
And it's sticky!
- Is it this one? - No!
I'm not satisfied with this one.
- It's rude in a TV show. - It doesn't have a major.
- I really want to compare it.
No, it's a variable.
- Oh, it's a normal one? - Yes, it's a normal one.
- I see. - It's bigger.
I don't know what's behind it.
Do you want to measure it when it's back?
When it's back, it looks like this.
And it's shorter!
Nami-san, do you want to do it?
It's ridiculous.
I'm being called.
Hey!
Go away!
I'll quit and leave the house today!
- Whatever! - I'll leave here!
I'm leaving!
Don't film me!
- We're going together, right? - Yes, together!
- We're going together! - Go away!
- Don't talk to me! - Why am I here?
Why am I here?
Go away!
Sit down, sit down.
Look ahead for the future.
I'll measure your dick.
You can't do it. Sit down.
You're a new inventor.
A new inventor? No, I'm not.
First question.
Have you ever floated while you were doing push- ups?
Yes.
Are you kidding me?
Have you ever rotated around me?
Yes, I have.
But it's a little distorted.
What is this?
This is an input.
Where do you get this and this?
From here.
Your wife's family has become big customers recently.
Yes.
That's too much!
That's not a bad thing!
You once hid in your own place as a kid.
Why?!
Yes.
Stop it!
What's wrong with you?!
Okay!
Micky!
We have a result!
Okay!
Look at their movement.
What is that over there in the east?
It's huge!
It's nice!
It's creepy!
Isn't it "Nausica" by "Kaze no Tari"?
It's coming out!
It's creepy!
What is it now?!
It's white!
Are you crazy?!
What is it?!
Is it me?!
It's not this big!
It floated when it was born.
It has floated before, but it's crouched now.
It's not this big!
Look!
It's crouched!
Do you know it's not this big?!
I'm busy.
Like this.
Let's do this in "Mappirumao".
Can we do this in "Mappirumao"?
Attack Entertainer
Excuse me, what is "Mappirumao"?
It's "Attack Entertainer".
We're in "Torauro" now.
We have to leave this hall by 10pm today.
Is it decided?
Yes, it's decided.
We have to leave by 10pm.
What does it mean?
Is it 10pm including withdrawal?
I don't know.
But we don't have much time to go back.
No, no, I'm sorry.
It's like a firefly's light.
I have a few managers.
There's Tsukimura, right?
Yes.
He's a little crazy.
He's crazy.
He can't speak English, though.
Tsukimura is really crazy.
I'm not just saying this. He's really crazy.
Sometimes, he's angry by himself.
To himself...
He's grumbling?
He's not grumbling!
No one does that!
Why did he get so angry there?
I'm still inexperienced.
Well, anyone can say that, but...
He can speak English, so...
Sometimes, he says it in English.
Son of a bitch!
Don't laugh at me!
- That's so cool! - It's so scary!
But...
It's so cool!
So, I went out for a meeting after the show.
And I saw a car parked there.
And I couldn't park my car because it had been parked before.
And there was a couple who were about to leave.
I told them to leave, but they told me to go!
- Then, the man of the couple came down and... - He got angry.
What's going on?
You shouldn't have done that!
You shouldn't have complained!
Then, Tsukimura, are you a weak person if you complain?
I'm sorry.
- He apologized. - "I'm sorry."
And then, Okamoto came.
He's the chief, so he said, "What do you want? What do you want?"
- And this man of Abeck didn't say anything. - I see.
Okamoto had to do something about this situation.
What do you think happened?
- Okamoto was hurt, too. - Okamoto was hurt, too!
I was watching it!
- You watched it proudly. - Yes, I did!
What will happen to this story?
"What's going on?!" Okamoto suddenly got angry.
And he wanted to hit that man.
Tsukimura!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
The man with the abecno finally said, "That's enough!"
Okamoto is good!
Oh, yeah?
On the contrary, he hit his own guy and said, "That's enough! Stop it!"
That's all his calculations.
He did it in his sleep!
Oh, yeah?
He said, "That's enough! That's enough!" and that's what happened today.
That's enough!
Yesterday, when I and the rest of the studio finished filming and Roh was walking on Fuji TV,
I was walking on Fuji TV and I saw him walking on both sides and he said, "Gaan!"
"Gaan!" and I thought, "Is that dangerous?"
I was walking normally and I didn't hit a panel like that!
"Gaan!" and I was like, "Is that dangerous?" and I didn't know what was going on.
I was walking in front of Okamoto and Okamoto said, "Hmph!"
They're weird!
Let's go home.
Why did you tell us so much about Tsukimura?
I didn't tell you about Tsukimura.
I don't really care about Tsukimura.
Um... what?
What? What are you?
What are you?
I'm, um... downturned.
What about you?
I'm also downturned.
Huh?
Haven't you seen it?
I've seen it a little bit.
You have, right?
It's on TV a lot.
It's on TV?
It is.
You look good today.
Well, not as good as your tie.
It's a little wild.
A little loose like this.
Like this, like this.
With a little beard.
Wildness doesn't come naturally.
It comes from the inside.
Wow!
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I don't like tight pants these days.
In the past, you were like...
It's kind of cramped, it's cramped.
But you don't complain these days, do you?
No, I mean, this is fashion now.
Oh, you're taking it in as soon as possible?
Of course.
It's fashionable, right?
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
Oh, so you're going like this.
What? What?
Are you doing it?
I shouldn't have said that.
Let's go with the scissors.
Okay.
Give me the scissors.
Matsumoto-san, you always say that Hamaa-san's armpits stink.
Why?
You say it all the time!
Please tell me what kind of stink it is!
I think it's Hamaa-kun's turn.
Wait a minute! My armpits don't stink!
I mean, my armpits aren't that bad!
My armpits stink, but my armpits aren't that bad!
Well, well, everyone, um, let's do it like this.
Close your eyes and think of the stinkiest thing you can think of.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
Did you think of it? You did, didn't you?
I think it's forty-five times worse.
I knew you'd say that.
I knew you'd say it twice.
That's your armpit. Please go ahead.
No, that's not it.
My armpit doesn't stink.
I keep telling you it stinks, but you just say it yourself.
Have you ever said "my armpit stinks" here?
No, I have.
You don't.
I knew it.
You always say that.
I always say "my armpit stinks" in one part of my brain.
No, you have to say it.
Wait a minute.
If I say it in one part of my brain, my armpit stinks?
No, you have to say it! Stop it!
I only said it in one part of my brain!
You're going that far?
No, you really can't say it.
You really can't say it.
Have you ever said "my armpit stinks" here?
Stop it!
This is another way of hurting your armpit.
This time, it doesn't stink anywhere!
It stinks in my breath!
Please teach me how to teach you without hurting you.
Oh, I see.
I can't tell you face-to-face.
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, you know...
Well, you're right.
In your case, what would you do if you didn't hurt me?
Well...
You know...
For humans...
We have a super-sound wave that doesn't reach our ears.
It's something like "kiiin".
It's higher than "kiiin".
Sometimes you hear it, right? That super-sound wave that makes you laugh.
It's higher than "kiiin".
Ahahaha!
At this moment...
It's making "kiiin".
Yes, yes, yes.
It's...
It's like a pack of dolphins.
If you're near me, you know?
Of course.
And if you lower the volume a little more...
If you sing in half-tone...
Yes.
Do you understand?
Yes.
Whether you can hear me or not...
I'll tell you in detail.
For example, we're talking like this.
What did you eat last night?
No, you have to talk to me!
You're telling me to talk.
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm telling you.
What did you eat last night?
I ate curry.
You like curry, don't you?!
Don't you go to Egypt?
You're hurting me!
I said it clearly just now!
No, no, no.
It's pretty...
No, I heard it clearly.
I heard it clearly.
No, it's a little...
It's a little unpleasant.
Ahahaha!
If you say it like that...
Yes! A little more!
A little smaller!
Do you watch your favorite shows or dramas lately?
Yes.
"Mappirumawa" is interesting.
Ahahaha!
Well, that one...
I wasn't asked much about it.
You weren't asked much about it!
But it's no good if you don't get asked about it!
That's not good!
That's no good! Because you don't notice it!
You're saying something, aren't you?
That's right.
It's between "just now" and "just now".
Do you go shopping often?
Well, I do go sometimes, but...
Hahaha!
What are you talking about?!
Are you ok?!
I'm told that!
Why?
It's itchy!
Itchy and smelly!
If you really hear that right, you'll get beaten up!
After your first love, how do you go to the second one?
Don't you know?!
It's not like...
How do you go?
But once you're done, and you're like "haaah!" and you take a break and smoke...
When you try it again, you're like "what should I do?"
You're like "should I go smoothly?"
Then what are you smoking?
"Do you smoke?" Once you're done.
Well, probably.
Canary was pretty intense.
Probably.
You're sweating like crazy!
"Of course I smoke, and usually...
...Zublocker."
What?
No, forget it.
What are you doing?
I'm smoking...
Then what is that ugly woman doing?
"But that ugly woman...
...she's probably sleeping next to me, right?"
You're ugly!
Wait a minute!
I'm just sleeping!
So you're sleeping, and what do you do?
The smoothest way is like this, right?
Sleeping next to me...
Well, I'm smoking, right?
Right?
I'm like this, right?
But at that moment, are you naked?
Once you're done, you can clean up and wear it.
No, no, no.
You can clean up and wear it, but you still have one pair of pants, right?
Well, it's plain, so it's fine.
You're so cool!
I'm a little rebellious.
Wow!
You're like Papillon!
What's Papillon?
It's a compliment, a compliment.
A compliment?
You should be happy about it.
Thank you for the title.
It's like this.
And you know what?
Yes?
Put the ash tray over here.
Okay, okay.
So you can smoke quickly.
Yes, yes, yes.
What's wrong with you?
That's not it!
That's what you do!
If you don't clean up, there's going to be a fire!
If you don't clean up, you'll both burn!
That's not it.
Isn't it?
That's not it!
You really don't know.
No, I really don't know.
You know, right?
Yes.
You smoke, right?
Yes.
Was it good earlier?
You're scary!
No.
You should value yourself more.
Why do you keep doing the same thing?
You like me the most, don't you?
Oh, me?
Yes, yes.
Oh, I'm your ugly woman now.
Is that so?
Yes.
No, it's not luck.
Eleven fifty-three minutes.
Eleven fifty-three minutes?
Let's do it a second time!
When will women's laughter become old ladies' laughter in society?
For example, young people in their teens and twenties.
When you reach about sixty, you go like Drift Big Bang.
You can't go up to sixty, you'll be forty.
I see, you'll be forty and go 'whoa!'
Where does that lead you?
So you say you're forty.
No, no, you say you're forty. When you're forty you go 'whoa!'
Right, right, right.
So where does it start?
For example, when you're thirty,
People who used to say 'whoa!'
Ten years from now, when you're forty, you'll go 'whoa!'
That's what you'll find out if you look into it one by one.
For example, when you're thirty,
When you're thirty-one,
When you're about thirty-two,
Where does it differ?
It's changing little by little.
Oh, it's changing.
There's a subtle difference.
When you're thirty-three,
When you're thirty-two?
Thirty-three.
And when you're thirty-four?
When you're thirty-four!
Ah, that's it! This is the point!
When you're thirty-four, is that okay, everyone?
Thirty-four!
Here we go!
When you're thirty-four?
It's the same!
That's a long one.
It's thirty-five!
Thirty-five.
Well, listen up, everyone.
Thirty-five.
Thirty-five. Here we go.
"That's enough." "Of course." "Don't be so stubborn." "I won't continue laughing like that."
"Thirty-six." "Thirty-six." "Listen to me." "Listen to me."
Don't laugh so much.
This is where you have to put up with it. This is where you have to put up with it.
"Three." "There's nothing you can do about it." "There's nothing you can do about it."
"Don't laugh like a boomerang." "Don't laugh like a boomerang."
"Thirty-seven." "Let's say thirty-seven!"
"Listen to me." "Yes."
How much were you talking about?
Press it.
Thirty-eight.
"I'm tired." "What is this?"
"Are you ready?" "Thirty-eight."
What are you doing?!
This is absurd!