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In the first episode of "Useful Tips for Kids", the entertainers Kudoki and Tekuga won by losing their beauty!
Well, Mr. Uematsu, our staff did it once before...
We did it, but it was a mess, wasn't it?
Useful Tips for Kids
We thought it wouldn't work like this.
Entertainers?
Entertainers!
You must have lost many of them.
That's right. Among those entertainers, we have gathered here today people with considerable martial arts skills.
All of them?
That's right. We have chosen three sleeping lions...
Oh, I see. I understand.
Then, let's welcome the three of them! Please come in!
These three have many martial arts skills.
That's right!
What are you saying?
You are amazing!
Really?
Of course, you are amazing.
You have a wife and children.
Don't you want to see how Kudoki does it?
You are handicapped.
That's right!
Now that you say it like that, what about this handicap?
This program is brought to you by the sponsors you see here.
Who will go first?
First of all, let's start with the young ones.
I see.
They are very active now.
That's right.
Kanda-kun.
Are you next door?
Oh, yes.
Thank goodness.
Um, do you know me?
Huh? Yes.
Look, I'm on TV.
Oh, yes.
Oh, you know me?
Kanda-san?
You know me, right?
Yes, I know you. I've seen you before.
Oh, really?
Yes.
You know...
You...
Um...
Don't people say you sound like Matsuzaka Keigo?
I've never been told that.
I knew it.
Huh?
Um...
Kanda-san?
Do you have a favorite type?
Oh, um...
Fukuyama Masaharu-san.
Fukuyama Masaharu...
I lost.
I'll admit it.
Fukuyama Masaharu?
Yes.
I see.
Um...
Oh, I know Fukuyama Masaharu, my friend.
Oh, you do?
Yes.
Can we talk, Fukuyama Masaharu?
You want to talk?
Yes.
Really?
Yes.
Let's go.
Really?
Yes.
Let's go.
Oh, Fukuyama Masaharu.
Sit down.
Yes.
I have to call Fukuyama.
Yes.
Wait a minute.
He's doing it in real-time.
He's funny.
Oh, hello?
Oh, Masaharu?
See you.
Yes.
I don't know.
What should I say?
You're stupid.
Right now...
You're stupid.
I don't think I can answer the phone.
Oh, is that so?
Um...
I don't know.
Go away.
I see.
Why did you cut your hand?
Oh, you're right.
How would you rate me out of 100 points for Fukuyama Masaharu?
But it's a different genre...
Oh, you said you'd cut something.
You said you'd cut something.
Here you go.
Let's go eat.
I see.
Your fan just said she wants you to buy her a phone.
Yeah.
No way!
What?
No way!
Hey!
No way!
What?
Call her!
No way!
Wait a minute!
No way!
Is that okay?
I'm in trouble.
My fan just said she wants me to buy her a phone.
No way!
But...
That's how I feel.
The end!
Come here!
Scary.
Why are you so lazy?
What should I do?
I feel like crying.
Let's go eat!
Okay!
Do you want some juice?
Okay!
Scary.
Don't you want something to drink?
Oh, thank you.
Go ahead.
Go ahead? I didn't ask you.
Can I order?
Yes, of course.
Oolong tea.
You're welcome.
Okay!
So... where...
Don't touch me!
Give me a minute.
Where are you taking me?
Just leave it to me.
I hate bad guys like you.
"Hey, you!" and stuff like that.
Straightforward.
Okay, we have a little time.
Let's do it.
Why are you doing it yourself?
What can you do?
Just leave it to me.
There it is!
This is the light.
Put the camera in.
There you go!
There!
You can do it.
How many?
How many do you want?
Five.
What?
Five.
What?
Five.
Five million?
Give me five million.
Five million?
What?
Five million.
Five million!
One, two...
Three...
Four...
He said three million when I was doing my commercial.
Five million!
He said three million when I was doing my commercial.
OK!
I'll let you taste the most wonderful sex in the world.
I'm a man who just came down from the sky for you.
I'll let you taste the most wonderful sex in the world.
This is for you.
Please, please.
Bath!
OK, let's go to the bath.
I'll let you taste the most wonderful sex in the world.
OK!
Wow!
Well, he looks like a man, but...
Are you confident?
A man who can't go home.
What are you doing?
Well, I'm a little embarrassed.
What's wrong?
What?
OK!
OK! Let's have sex!
Is it OK here?
No!
Is it OK here?
Hey!
Don't wrap me up!
I'm wrapping you up now!
It's rubbing against me.
What are you thinking about?
It's rubbing against you now!
Machan! Try it!
If you want Machan to do it, do it!
Is that so?
I know, but...
I have a woman I like. She's wearing a microphone.
Anyway, Machan's version. Play it for me.
Wow, you're in a good mood again today, aren't you?
You're in a good mood, aren't you?
Doesn't it look warm?
It does, doesn't it?
It's been getting cold lately.
Ah, I see.
It's because you don't make entertainers look good, right?
Ah, yes.
You try to look good in all kinds of places.
Well, of course.
You don't do it.
It's because it's a business that people look up to.
Yes, yes.
And because of that, it's starting to go down.
I see, you can think of it like that.
What a shame!
I...
Um, what was it?
You're in a magazine again, aren't you?
You're in one of the top five fashionable entertainers again, aren't you?
You!
You were in it!
What?
Talents you think are geniuses.
Ah, well...
From China.
What's with you?!
It's nice, isn't it? It's fashionable, isn't it?
What are you talking about?
No, I'm just wearing what you prepared for me.
What you prepared for me...
What's with you?!
Who are you calling a foreigner?
But, you know...
Even if you look at me like this, I don't think I'm fashionable.
No, it's not like that...
When I was in elementary school, my relatives put me in a cardboard box and brought me here.
But, you know, I didn't say I didn't like that kind of clothes.
I'm sorry, but...
No, I know that.
Really?
I know that too.
It's the same for me.
If it was back then, I wouldn't wear clothes like this.
You know, I saw you the other day...
You took off your pants.
Ah, that's right, that's right, that's right...
Right?
You took off your trunks up to here...
That's right, that's right, that's right...
And you lowered it a little...
Yes, yes, yes...
Isn't it bad?
It's...
Even if it's bad, you took it like this in the picture.
What is it?
You took off your pants!
You surprised me!
What is it?
Is it evil?
What is it? Is it candy? Is it gummy candy?
I know that!
Gummy candy or candy...
I know that!
It's similar!
It's similar, but I know that!
I know that!
I'm sorry, but you're wrong.
Men and women alike, men are inside.
What do you mean?
For example, when I'm free or when I'm outdoors...
But you're always at home!
No, no, no. I've said it many times already. I'm going out.
You're not!
No, no, no.
You don't do bad things like that!
I don't know if you know me since elementary school, but you know me and you don't know anything about me.
I don't want to know!
No, no, I really want you to tell me your phone number.
No, no, no!
I'll never tell you!
I'll never!
No, no, you're not supposed to want to hear my voice.
No, why?!
I know that already!
I don't want you to worry about me at home!
Your parents' phone number...
My hat almost flew off!
I know your parents' phone number.
No, of course!
It's broken!
I know your phone number and it's broken!
You're already...
Wait a minute, everyone!
You're already on TV!
What's with you?!
Wait a minute!
No, no, no.
No, I'm serious!
No, no, no!
Wait a minute!
I don't know! I don't know!
What's with you?!
I don't know! Listen, listen!
What's with you?!
I want to know you!
No, no, you...
No, you're wrong!
A duo or a group...
I really don't know!
That's right!
No, I'm serious!
It's normal!
It's just that he...
It's not like that!
It's normal!
I want to know you!
I don't want to know you!
No, no, there's something like that.
It's just that I'm really strict at home.
I can't tell you like that.
I can't do it like that.
No, no, no!
No, I'm serious!
No, no, I...
Can we talk?
Not at all!
If you don't mind ringing the bell...
No, no, it's fine!
It's fine!
It's not like I'm going to ring your bell and wait for you to come up!
It's better for me to tell you the truth now.
I might not be able to hear you anymore.
You might not be able to catch me anymore!
It's fine, it's fine!
Don't worry about it!
That's right!
Where are you doing right now?
I don't know!
Where are you doing?
I'm just saying it like that...
That's not it!
I want to prove it!
Where are you doing?
No, I can't say that right now.
But my head is pounding...
It's pounding right now.
It's pounding...
Should I say it quickly?
If you say it quickly, it'll make you say it faster.
No, you know me better than me than you know anything about me!
That's what I'm saying.
Do you know what I've been cooking lately?
Oh, you do!
This is amazing.
One night curry!
What is that? You made it by running around a lot.
Are you a fool king?
There is something in it.
What is in it?
It is amazing.
No, no, it is fine. What is in it?
First of all, band-aid.
Band-aid.
Makiron.
B-damage.
It is fine.
Back curry is amazing.
What is in it recently?
The other day, a car crashed.
I couldn't stop.
What? No way!
He was waiting for me.
I said "thank you" and rang the bell.
I went there.
He was waiting for me.
It's been like this for a long time.
It's annoying.
Normally, you know, a car is the same as a human being.
For example, a wiper is something like a hand.
Do you use it like this?
Yes, yes. When you cry, you use your hand like this.
That's a wiper.
And there's something called "passing".
When you're melting something, you use your hand like this.
This is...
When you're shaking something, you use your hand like this.
This is "passing".
I know that.
What you did was...
Thank you for this trip.
I...
You've been talking all the time.
I've been talking all the time.
No, no, thank you for this trip.
You've been sad lately, haven't you?
I've been sad.
It's a little lonely to sleep alone, isn't it?
No, no, really.
Actually, I only sleep alone.
When you're done, you say, "Go home!"
When I sleep, I'm alone.
When you're done...
What are you saying?
You don't have to say it like that.
You're not Heiko?
I'm not!
I've been waiting for you to say Heiko!
I'm not.
Do you ever miss me?
Yes.
Shall we go?
Yes.
If you pose like this, you'll hurt your spine.
What?
No, don't drink it.
I wanted to see you drink it with your hat on.
If you talk like this, you can see me all the time!
Are you enjoying the various angles of Masato-shi?
I have a request from someone who knows me.
Is that so?
Yes.
My pen name is Yamasaki Hosei-san.
First of all, I have a request for you.
Please add a song to this poem.
Is that okay?
The title is "Crystal Night".
It starts with a greeting.
It's a lonely love, but I don't want to play games alone.
Love me more, love me more.
Love me more, speed up.
Well, I wrote a lot of songs.
Not songs, but yes.
Really?
I composed a lot of songs.
But what I do is...
Well, I don't have a piano today.
How do you always compose?
Um...
What are you saying?
I'm serious. Um...
Let's start with you.
You don't have this kind of talent.
No, I don't.
I don't know how good you are.
It's a love song!
I don't think you can do it at this point.
No, I'm far-sighted.
First of all...
No.
From greetings...
Ah, it's a little like Shibugaki-tai.
OK, OK, OK.
A new version of Shibugaki-tai.
Let's say it.
Love, love, love, love!
It started with greetings!
Have you changed it?
Maybe...
That's love, love, love, love.
How is it? A ballad?
What do you want me to do?
Please say "Shanson"!
Shanson, right?
Ah, Shanson!
Yes!
Wow, that's pretty cool!
Yes, thank you.
Ah, Shanson, right?
Yes!
What are you saying?!
I don't know death.
Well, I like the quote.
Hey, hey, I'll kill you!
Hey!
Do you want to die?!
How about...
From greetings...
Ah, that's not it.
It started with greetings!
Are you Dragon Ball?
Yes, yes.
Hey, don't cheat! Don't cheat!
I'm serious!
Yes.
From greetings...
Wait, wait!
That's "Steins;Gate"!
Hey, can you look at me properly in this crystal night?
What's your name?
Kami... Kami... Kamizono... Shiro.
Who the hell are you?! Who the hell are you?!
You're not a singer when you say "Shiro"!
Kamizono Shiro!
I'm Yonnan.
I used to play about two big hit songs.
Oh, you're an amazing person!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
"Megitsune no Onna".
I don't know that song!
I don't know "Megitsune no Onna"!
This...
This is a song I played a lot.
When I became a million seller...
There was a song called "Megitsune no Onna" and the title was...
"Hey, Mellow"...
I don't know what you're talking about!
Help me!
Thank you for waiting, everyone.
Now...
The last album was...
It was...
A big hit!
I didn't know it would be such a big hit!
It was such a big hit that it made me wonder if it was you!
It was a million seller!
But...
The second song to be expected!
- It's a priority broadcast... - It's too long!
Turn it down!
This song has been played a lot in priority broadcasts.
Today, for the first time on TV...
Kamizo no Shiro...
Please sing "Crystal Night"!
"Roomba"!
Ah, I'm tired!
Alright!
Ah, I'm in a bad mood...
Are you okay?
I'm in a bad mood...
What are you talking about?
Ah, I'm in a bad mood...
I'm in a bad mood...
Come here for a second...
Are you okay?
Ah, I'm scared!
Ah, I'm in a bad mood...
Hey!
Just leave it like that!