AISubs v3.5
From now on, I will write it down. Police officer, come to the station.
Prosecutor, come to the station.
(sigh)
Defendant, come to your seat.
Your Honor.
Yes.
Well then...
Wada Akiko has started her trial as a man.
Well, before starting this trial...
The evidence...
Yes.
...has been obtained numerous times.
I would like Professor Matsumoto...
Yes.
...to come in...
Yes.
...and verify the evidence.
Yes.
Professor, thank you for coming.
Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.
I was surprised, too, this time.
Oh, yes. I was surprised, too.
That's why I asked you, Professor.
Yes, yes, yes.
I knew it.
That's right.
When I was investigating, I found out that he was a really strange man.
First of all, let me show you some evidence photos.
Evidence photos?
Yes.
Oh, Wada, you bastard! Look at me, you bastard!
I'm going to skin you alive today!
Let me show you for now.
This is the picture of Wada on the plane.
Yes.
If you look at it like this, it's not much different from Wada we usually see.
That's right.
And I used a computer to zoom in on him.
Oh, you're closer to him.
Yes, I am.
If you look at it like this...
I see.
Even with this, you're not much different from him.
Oh, really?
I don't know.
He's been deceiving the world for over 20 years.
That's right.
If you zoom in even closer...
Yes.
You'll see something terrifying.
Oh!
You bastard! I knew it!
You look like a family of three!
But...
Professor!
Yes?
You look like a different person!
No, no, no.
This is the first evidence.
This alone is enough.
It's enough. You're an old man.
Furthermore, let's look at other photos.
For example...
W-what is it?!
Can't I defend myself?
No, you can't!
Wait a minute!
What is this photo? What is this bulge?
Calm down!
Even as a man, you can't shake your own butt!
That's right!
This is unthinkable!
Furthermore, this old man next to me...
However...
However, is it okay?
Recently, even as a woman, I haven't worked in a place like this.
That's right.
I don't think this is evidence at all.
If you look at the next one, you'll know for sure that he's a man.
Is that so?
This is it!
Today, I'm in a sauna!
This dignified culture!
It's natural!
It's very natural!
He's a regular customer!
It's natural!
However!
His face looks a little young, but his body is quite strong.
I guess it's like this!
With that said...
Yes?
For now, as a witness...
That's right. I'm not alone.
I have a video evidence...
Is that so?
I have it here.
Yes, yes, yes.
Let's take a look at it.
I think it was about 10 years ago when I became a manager.
I went to Asahikawa for a singing show.
After the show, I went to a nearby bar for a drink.
On the way back, I said I really wanted to go to the bathroom.
Then let's do it here.
What? Is it okay?
While I was wondering if I should say it or not...
I started talking to him.
I thought, "Oh, that's how it is."
He's my manager!
He's from my company!
What are you talking about?
Since that day, I've been able to get along with men.
Idiot!
It makes sense!
- Yes, what is it? - This is weird!
- W-what's weird? - This is, you know, the police or something is trying to force me to say it!
- What are you talking about, you bastard! - I'm sorry.
- Let me say one more thing. - Yes.
- He's him, you're you, you idiot!
- He's our manager at the site!
- He's not on set, so we don't know what time it will start!
- When we go to a meeting, you're not at the meeting!
- That's it!
- Take a seat. - Take a seat!
- Did you say it?
- Judge, I couldn't hear you! Say it again!
- Take a seat. - Alright!
- You're weak, judge! - For now, it's just my testimony and the video.
- I think it's better for you to hear his real voice. - Is that so?
- That's what I'm saying. - Yes, I understand.
- Then, will you call the witness? - Yes.
- Oh, this way. Witness, please come in!
- Oh, oh, oh!
- You're not lying! - Yes.
- Be honest with us! - Yes.
- We're from the same agency as Mr. Wadakiko.
- He invites us to dinner and takes us out for drinks and games...
- Games?!
- He takes you out for drinks and games?!
- Games and... - He invites you.
- Thank you for taking care of us.
- You're welcome.
- We often get calls from home. - I see.
- Just the other day, we got another call from home.
- Yes, yes.
- Since we happened to be out, there was a message in the phone.
- I see.
- We brought that tape.
- Oh, that's right. Let's hear it.
- Hello, we're the Kudo brothers. We're on our way out now.
- That's weird, too!
- Hello? Hello? Are you there?
- Huh? - Are you there?
- Who is it?! - It's me.
The woman I introduced you to the other day...
She was a really good father.
I'm glad you like her.
Huh?!
I'm telling you for the first time...
I'm going to drag you out of here for a while...
Introduce me to some other woman...
Huh?!
- So that's it. - I see.
- Professor, what do you think of his voice? - He's obviously an old man!
He's an old man.
"The woman I introduced you to the other day...
She was a good father."
- No, no, no, I'm sorry. - Yes?
I think you sounded like a professor's voice just now.
No, no, no!
He's an old man!
Huh?! What are you saying?!
I understand.
- Thank you very much, Kudo and the others. - Thank you.
- Yes. - Yes, thank you.
- Professor! - Yes, yes?
- Well, now that we have evidence... - Yes, yes?
- I guess he doesn't have anything more to say. - There's a lot!
Well, if there's one more thing that could be decisive...
- That's right. We've obtained another amazing VTR. - Ah, is that so?
- Yes. If you watch this, you'll see that it's quite decisive. - I understand.
Now, listen to it for a moment.
I think it was last summer...
A little drunk, two young men brought me here.
I was also called three or four times, but...
If you watch it on TV, you'll see that the real Wada- san was more manly.
I think he was called at least three or four times, but...
- Now it's decisive, isn't it? - It's decisive!
- Excuse me, but was that a woman just now? - It was a woman just now!
A woman? Again with all that white stuff, you bastard!
- No, it can't be helped if it's like this. - Yes.
I've developed my own chart-type diagnosis method.
- Now you know my gender, right? - Yes.
- Then I'll turn it around. - Yes.
I hate dogs!
Well, you don't hate them that much now, but...
- It's not like you like them that much, so it's a yes. - Yes.
- Is it okay? - Yes.
Your height is low.
- Which one is it? Answer! - It's a no.
- He's saying it's a no. - No.
He's from Osaka.
- Answer! - It's a yes.
- Is it a yes? - Yes.
- It's a yes, right? - Yes.
- So it's here, right? - Yes.
- Excuse me for a second. - Stop it!
If you don't like that first dog, you can only say yes to everything.
- What else can you say?! - Excuse me!
- Shut up! - Yes.
Judge! Please give us a verdict!
Defendant, go to the center.
What do you mean, "go to the center?"
What are you saying?
Verdict!
- Defendant, Wada Akiko. - Wada Akiko?
Yes.
Death penalty!
Shut up!
You're innocent!
Well, recently what has happened is...
Ah, you know...
What?
You know...
What?
It seems like you've increased in numbers.
You.
Why me?
I'm sorry.
This time it's Naita.
No, you didn't cry last time, but you didn't cry this time either.
No, I was moved and cried when we did the skydiving.
When did you get moved and cry?
For me, it's been a while since we did that rerun.
The blonde one.
I can't help but cry!
No matter how many times I watch it, I can't!
No, I've never seen a blonde before.
Wow, you haven't seen one before?!
You make me want to cry!
I'm doing a lot of dramas now, but I can't win against a blonde!
I mean, you're amazing even as a graduate student!
You're not an "etho-essayist" at all!
What are you saying?!
Calm down!
"Etho-essayist" you say?!
I'm giving you one last lecture!
You were never "etho-essayists"!
That's what you say!
Don't say that!
Don't say that during the rerun!
At the end...
At the end of the rerun, don't say that, blonde one!
Don't say that!
Don't make me jealous of you, blonde one!
Don't make me jealous of you!
Don't make me!
Don't worry.
And...
This time too...
I've fallen in love with you two.
No, no, no...
I don't know...
I've seen that so many times...
I don't know...
It's really good!
And you at the end...
You know...
You know, domestic violence...
That Kato Masaru guy...
Kato Masaru guy?!
You can't even get in a car, you know!
The police can't even...
One time, Kato Masaru hit his head with his bongo!
Before he got in...
Right, right, right...
You can't say that anymore!
You can't say that in a song about live fish!
I don't know...
I can't stand you anymore...
You don't look like that at all!
I said I didn't want to watch it!
I said it in the beginning! I said I didn't want to watch it!
I didn't watch it!
They broadcast it in the factory and it goes like this!
No, it doesn't go like that...
Apologize! Take my hand and apologize!
And you say "apologize".
Apologize!
What are you doing?
What? What? What?
You can't do that!
How about this?
You'll be fired.
Your eyes are sparkling.
You'll be fired and you'll be holding a goldfish in your mouth.
You are our...
Wait! Wait!
Wait!
You can't say "you are my students" but you can say "you are our students", "we are your students".
You are wrong! You can't say that!
But you'll correct it!
I won't correct it!
Don't forget it!
It makes me cry.
I don't like you. You don't know anything.
Just look at me!
Yes! Where did Kato Masaru work for?
Do you know?
Why do you have to give me such a difficult question with blond hair?
It's a woodworking industry! Remember it!
The last speech.
Well, it won't be like that, but...
Who are you talking about?
It's blond hair!
Well, it won't be like that, but...
Is it blond now?
If there is someone who wants to become a politician among us...
It doesn't matter if it's 10,000 yen!
Give me a lot of tax money!
That's what we say.
If there is someone who wants to work in a beauty salon...
Please let me borrow you until you get tired.
I'm already crying there.
Why?
And if...
If there is someone who wants to become a teacher of a school...
He will wear you in a narration.
What is that word?
I'm already worn out.
This is correct!
Do you remember it?
Alright.
Do you know where Masaru Kato's job is?
I don't know!
It's where you are now!
It's where you are now, so what is it?
I don't want to talk with you anymore.
I don't want to talk with you for two weeks.
Oh, two weeks!
Why two weeks?
No, really...
Um...
Let's be more moved.
No, but...
The world is full of emotions...
You need to sharpen your sensitivity.
Oh, is that so?
That's right.
No matter what you see, even electrical appliances...
There are moments when you feel like you are doing your best, right?
Right?
Sometimes, right?
Washing machines...
There are times when they go "Gaaaaah"!
Yes, yes, yes...
You are doing your best!
Um...
At work...
Zudandan! Zudandan! Zudandan!
There are times like that, right?
Of course you should put it in!
Zudandan! Zudandan! Zudandan!
You're getting better at polishing.
No, no, I haven't been polishing at all before!
Who's that?
That's Hibari.
Hamachi.
That's Hibari.
I know him.
Anyone can do it.
Unssississi.
Oh, Kyosan.
Well, whatever.
Go ahead.
Do you need me?
Go ahead.
This is amazing.
Hamachan's Senzura style in the street corner.
Didn't you have it before?
Someone introduced it to me before.
This is amazing.
It's similar, isn't it?
It's not like you're saying it's similar!
You shouldn't say it's similar!
It's a picture of you on your school trip!
I took it!
You're trying your best to look stylish and all, but once you let it all out...
Once you let it all out...
You'll get like this! You'll get like this right away!
Right now, Japan is in trouble due to lack of water, but why doesn't sea water decrease?
Well, it doesn't matter.
Why isn't sea water salty?
That's the point.
Didn't you have it before?
Why isn't sea water salty?
You let it all out.
These kinds of stories are usually told in fairy tales and old stories.
Is that so?
It's usually like that.
In fairy tales and such, isn't it like that for everyone?
What does Taro Urashima want to say? That happens, doesn't it?
What does Taro Urashima want to say?
That is...
Don't bully the turtle.
As it is!
It happens all the time.
What does Momotaro want to say?
What do you mean?
What does Momotaro mean?
Momotaro wants to say...
"Let's open up...
...the big peach."
Right?
"Let's open up...
...the big peach."
Ah!
Right?
Even the story "Why does the sea water go from the salt?" is told in fairy tales and such.
What stories are told in fairy tales and such?
The Rabbit and the Turtle.
The rabbit tried to race with it.
Right?
And...
the turtle said, "Too late. You can win."
And there was a large collision.
Ah, that happens.
And the turtle started running like "voaa
Yes, yes, yes.
And from then on, the water in the sea was salt water.
Yes, CM.
Continuing with CM.
Do foreigners often have their chin broken?
Yes, they do.
Is there a way to fix it?
No, there isn't.
There is.
Do you want me to put something in it?
Yes, yes.
Put it in the center.
That's what they say.
Put it in.
Put it in the center?
That sounds good.
You want me to put it in there?
If you have any kind of broken part, you can put it in straight!
You want me to put it in the front?
You don't need to put it in the front!
Why? How do you put it in?
What do you mean?
How do you put it in straight?
What are you talking about?
No, no, no.
Why are you so angry?
Who are you?
If you tell me to put it in here, should I put my chin in this part of my hand?
I see.
Why?
I don't know.
If you have something in your mind, you should say it!
Hit me! I'll answer you!
Jump in and say it!
If you jump in, I'll definitely answer you!
Who?
Me!
Americans are amazing.
Do you know this?
I don't know.
The other day at McDonald's...
You know the coffee you bring home?
Yes.
When you opened it, it spilled on you.
It was really hot.
I see.
I suffered for six weeks.
And I sued McDonald's.
And then McDonald's... that old woman won!
McDonald's gave that old woman...
two hundred and fifty million yen.
- You paid for it? - I have to pay for it!
- I see... - Give me a lot of it, will you?
- When you got hit by a minestrone... - That's right!
- At the airport... - When you got hit by a minestrone...
- You didn't get hurt at all!
- There was food on it!
- There was macaroni on it!
- It was so hot and there was food on it!
- Can you give me a handkerchief?
- There was macaroni on it too, you know...
- It was like a pirate ship...
- I know!
- There was macaroni like a steering wheel on it!
- You didn't get hurt at all!
- If you're angry now, you'll get angry later!