AISubs v3.5
"Yokai" are mysterious creatures that have existed since ancient times and have always interacted with humans, but no one has captured them yet.
Good evening.
Today...
Yokai.
Yokai are not seen in Japan now.
But there are people who have seen ghosts.
That's right.
We will soon do a ghost test or something like that on the show.
Today, Yokai...
There are a lot less Yokai now, but there are 5.6 million Yokai in Japan now.
There are a lot of Yokai.
Even if you're happy, there are Yokai.
If you walk like that, you won't find them.
Don't make me laugh!
I brought this with me today.
I have one more.
I'll give it to you.
It's worth 300 million yen.
What?
If you eat it normally, it's worth 300 million yen.
What is he talking about?
He's talking nonsense.
This.
This is pure water.
It's worth 500 million yen.
If you eat it normally.
If you eat it roughly.
No, I'm borrowing it now.
Oh, I see.
This T-shirt I'm wearing now is worth 2 million yen.
If you eat it normally.
If you eat it roughly.
Today is a memorable hot day in the Togyo area.
The water is...
Right?
This is also my usual mindset.
Don't say Yokai's happiness!
It's been a while since I've been like this.
Actually, there's already one Yokai on this bus.
What?
Look behind you.
Hey!
Which one?
Look at this.
Yokai.
Dirty entertainer.
This program is brought to you by the sponsors you see here.
What's that? What's that?
Look at that!
What's that?
What's that in the middle of the road?
Wow!
Is that a youkai?!
Let's get out of the car!
Seriously?!
Come on!
What's that?!
It's you again!
Is that youkai?!
This youkai...
Don't come too close!
What's that? What's it called?
This is youkai cat girl.
Cat girl?!
The youkai world's number one rich girl who loves herself.
She appears in a farmer's rice field and is good at selling people's rice at a low price.
Youkai cat girl.
I'm not going to fall. Don't look at me like that.
You look like you're having a good time!
Say something!
I will! I will!
You're annoying!
I will! Touch me!
What is he doing?
I'm scared! I'm really scared!
Let's go together!
I'm really scared!
I didn't think I'd see a cat girl today.
Is it really there?
The light is shining beautifully from outside.
Over there.
No, no, no.
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
Be careful.
There's something there!
What is it?
The young man's favorite,
the most quiet of the three youkais,
is the youkai "Jackie-rin-chan".
The youkai "Jackie-rin-chan".
This is pretty evil!
Evil? Evil youkai?
Look at this! It's dirty!
Give it back!
Hey, Yamazaki!
Don't water it!
Jackie-rin-chan!
Don't do it!
You're singing!
It's dirty!
Who's dirty?
Are you mad?
This is it! This is the youkai of Osaka!
This is the youkai over there!
Look!
Catch it! Catch it!
Catch it!
What are you doing?
Are you just wiping it?
This is bad!
This is really bad!
This youkai is funny!
What kind of youkai is this?
Where are you from?
What is this? This is bad!
Your liver is strong!
Your voice is like a monster!
My voice can go through, right?
Let's go again! This is bad!
This way!
The average age is too high!
Come here!
Shut up!
This is an Akita youkai!
Akita youkai "omahan"!
"Omahan"!
A young youkai from Akita who has spread to other parts of the world.
He is proud of his appearance and his power.
He says "omahan", "omahan" to young youkai.
Youkai "omahan"!
What are you doing?
What?
Are you making fun of me?
Before you do that, let me laugh!
I'm angry!
I'm scared!
You are angry with youkai!
If you make fun of me, I'll forgive you.
- He's smoking. - Smoking?
- It's going to be a long time. - He's completely crazy.
- We can't do this. We can't win. - We can't win.
- Let's go, you guys. Let's leave it. - Yeah.
- You guys! - Alright, look at this.
- We can't lose like this. - Shut up!
- It's even scarier. - There's a boss character.
- Really? - It's even scarier?
- Hey, what is it?! Can't you hear me?!
- Can you hear me?! - Can you hear me?!
- He's a former comedy youkai, but now he pursues men's aesthetics.
- Now he's a hard-boiled youkai.
- He's the number one drink-lover and woman-lover.
- Youkai Night King.
- You eel! - Eel?!
- No, Hamamatsu! - Hamamatsu?!
- What are you wasting your life on?!
- What's up, youkai? - Hey, what's up with him?!
- This is interesting...
- Do you have a bomb?! - I do!
- Alright, then...
- With this... - Yes?
- Say something funny! - Okay! Sorry for the wait!
- Can you defeat me, youkai?! - Say it!
- Let's go!
- You! Youkai!
- Idiot!
- Hey, attack me, youkai! - Stab me in the back!
- If you do that, you're a professional.
- Harper Nice Day?
- Ah, Harper Day!
- You don't know?!
- Harper Nice Day! Harper Nice Day!
- That's enough! Let's go! - That's enough?!
- Then...
- Can you die without reading?!
I don't think so
You don't think so, do you?!
I don't think so, either.
But, you know...
The youkais up until now...
Either they got beaten up...
Or they lived in ugly places...
But now...
I don't know if it's because of that.
You mean...
Hey! Hey!
What's that?!
It's a slide!
What's that?!
This is a slide?!
THIS IS A SLIDE?!
Hey! Hey!
What's up with this guy?!
You know...
Yes?
I want you to sing for me.
Oh, go ahead.
You're a youkai, after all.
Yes!
Mou youkai...
Nani youkai...
What do you think?
What do you think?!
Huh?!
Japan's youkai...
The youkai that stands at the top of 5.6 million people...
Due to his "dajarai youjutsu"...
The entertainers who have lost their minds...
Can't stand it anymore!
Mou youkai...
Your face looks nervous.
Nervous?
Because you're here.
You're nervous.
Because I'm here...
That's right.
You bastard!
Because you're here...
If you hug me like this, it's over!
If you hug me like this...
I won't say anything funny.
Is this okay?
Hugging like this...
Like this...
Oh, like this?
Yeah.
Isn't it okay?
This is like...
I see...
It's tough...
Can you put this down for me?
The back...
I'll put it down.
The zipper...
Oh, I'll put the zipper down.
What do you think?
I put it down.
Can you put this zipper down for me?
Get out of my way!
Let me get you some water.
I'm a little bigger than you.
Shut up!
I lost!
Where are you going?
I'm going over there.
Okay, you guys go over there.
Oh, Yamada-kun and Hamada-kun.
This is the worst.
That was tough, wasn't it?
Yeah, it was.
How did you deal with it?
We had a lot of trouble in the beginning.
But this is the bottom of it.
Let's go home.
Thank you for your hard work.
You're welcome.
Even in this day and age, human beings are still living in the middle of it all.
There might be one of them right next to you!
Ladies and Gentlemen...
It's hard to have a public show like this during this season.
Why is that?
It's hot and we're tired.
I heard it's really hot today.
It's like... 39 degrees?
39 degrees!
Thank you.
It's 39 degrees!
39 degrees is like 80...
80?!
What did you say?
Did you run into the sun?
Everyone's like that. Everyone's like that!
Is that all you want to say?
That's fine, but what is it about?
- Well... - Yes?
I forgot to tell you earlier, but there's an event, right?
What event?
An event that takes 24 hours...
- Oh, you did it. - No, no, no.
- On this show... - On this show...
- You do it, right? - Yes.
While you're at it, I'm sure you'll have your address by now, but...
Send me the script, if you want it.
I'll personally contact you.
Otherwise, if you say you'll do it here and then...
- Someone else might come. - Oh, I see.
So only a limited number of people will know about it.
The script... 24 hours together, right?
You don't seem like you want to do it.
I'm especially tired of customers.
- You're the one who's tired of it! - Well, it's like you said, it's a double-edged sword.
- When you're tired of customers... - When you're tired of customers...
- I'm twice as tired of you. - Why?
- Because you're a double-edged sword. - That's not what I'm saying!
Why are you standing here?
You don't get it, do you? You're the old woman of Drift University.
- But... - No!
Basically, it's like that.
It's just a trigger, a cue.
Well, it's a cue, but...
If you don't think about it a little more, you guys really can't do it.
No, what are you going to do preaching in a place like this?
- You know, the elbow pad next to you... - Elbow pad?
- You can't put it on your elbow pad. - Elbow pad?!
- You can put it on your elbow pad? - You can't put it on your elbow pad!
Are you happy now?!
You can't put it on!
You can't put it on! You can't put it on! You can't put it on! You can't put it on like this!
- Put it on first! - It's okay!
You won't get fat!
I don't care! I just suddenly got fat!
Stop it!
While you're talking, you do this!
I'll say, "Hey, you!"
It's a little too much for me!
I don't care!
- But you... - Let me say a little more!
Has anything changed recently? Has it rained?
- Rain? - Rain.
Is it okay like that now?
- No, no, it's not okay at all! - But you know...
But it's bad in Tokyo too!
You know, it's not like that! There's a "bibirashi"!
Bibirashi!
You can't trust the news 100%!
- They say all of that exaggeratedly! - That's not true!
Exaggerating doesn't do you any harm!
No, no, harm and virtue are different!
You're explaining the news properly in the video!
- There's no water, so if there's no water... - No, no, there really is!
No, no, there isn't!
- You know, I really don't like that! - You know, I really don't like it!
- You know, it's not like you're exaggerating! - It's not like you're exaggerating!
- No, it's not!
- You... - You're weird!
- You're saying it in a video! You can't be serious! - No, you're stupid!
You're a country samurai!
- I'm a country man, but I'm not a samurai! - You don't know!
I don't know! In Tokyo's population...
I don't know!
I don't know, even if you say it!
I don't know!
In Tokyo's...
In Tokyo's population...
Are you okay, Baku?
In Tokyo's population is not one, but several.
Just looking at one of those numbers, it's true.
No, no, it's not.
It's not! That's why it's not!
What percentage of the population is in Tokyo?
There are places like Shikoku where there's no water.
Even though they say there's no water, in Tokyo's population...
Why do you eat sushi?
Stop it!
I know there's no water!
Why do you eat sushi?
I don't eat sushi!
It's not sushi! It's not sushi!
It's not even Indian food!
Don't think anything is sushi!
If you do this, it's sushi!
Don't think about it!
What are you talking about?
But there is water, right?
No, there isn't.
- Yes, there is. - No, there isn't.
- Yes, there is! - No, there isn't!
- No, there isn't!
Why do you say "no" when you eat rice?
Don't say it! I'll hit you!
That's why I said it! There is water!
What are you talking about?
It's true! There is water!
Let me change the subject...
High school students now...
I'm scared!
It's the same thing! I was scared of it in the past!
Really?
Yes!
High school in the past... I said in the past!
Are you going to sing a song for me?
High school students didn't have a place to sell underwear, so they didn't sell it.
If there was a place to sell it, it would have been sold for a long time.
I see...
I'm sure you'll say that.
You all believe it.
Someone said it's 39 degrees, but it's not that hot.
You can tell it!
You were fooled!
You can tell it!
You say it's summer, but it's not that hot.
It's summer!
You're just thinking like that.
You can say it's hot, but it's not that hot.
It's hot today.
Really?
It's so hot, I'm lost.
Mom!
I can't fly!
Adults are staring at me!
I'm too hot!
Let's see. Which one?
Which one?
I don't care!
I'm serious!
You don't care about me at all.
You think I'm cute, don't you?
You?
I don't care about you!
You think I'm cute?
I don't care about you!
You think I'm cute?
I'm serious.
No.
What's that?
What was that?
I don't know.
Why do people become serious when they smell?
I can tell you this.
Smelling while washing doesn't make you serious!
What's wrong with you?
You know, you're quite...
erotic...
erotic country...
prince, aren't you?
You've smelled women's underwear, haven't you?
Yes, I have.
I have, too.
Don't you laugh at that?
No, no.
You don't laugh at it until you're about to smell it.
I don't laugh at it.
When you're about to smell it...
You can't give up halfway.
If you do it while laughing, you won't know what it is.
You can't laugh like that!
Humans are like cars.
We're in a neutral situation.
So when you smell it, you have to be neutral.
You have to decide if it's smelly or not.
If you think it's smelly, you have to give up halfway.
We're in a neutral situation.
If you think it's smelly, you have to give up halfway.
What does "metchakuso" mean?
I don't know.
metchakusakattara.
Right?
I said "metchakusakattara."
metchakusakattara.
What is that?
Behind my house, there are a lot of trucks.
Only one of them turns to the left.
When it turns to the left, words come out of the truck.
Why do you say "truck" every time?
You know, "truck" means "inside wheel" and "turning around"
It's dangerous, isn't it?
If you say "turn to the left", the truck will stop, right?
Yes, that's right.
So "inside wheel" is one of the tricks of "truck", isn't it?
A trick?
Yes, it's a trick.
Isn't it obvious?
No, it's a deadly trick.
Kamen Rider. What is Kamen Rider's deadly trick?
Rider kick.
Inside wheel. Rider kick.
They're similar, aren't they?
Where is it?!
Rider's deadly trick is rider kick!
Rider's deadly trick is...
It's a deadly trick, isn't it?
Rider's deadly trick is rider kick.
Yes, yes, yes.
Truck's deadly trick is inside wheel.
Isn't it strange?
It's a deadly trick.
I know, I know. I know what you're talking about now.
Okay, let's stop here.
Let's get back to the main subject.
When Kamen Rider does a rider kick, he doesn't say anything and doesn't kick.
Before you kick...
Hey, what?!
What do you mean "before you kick"?
Before you kick...
Rider kick!
Ah!
He does "ah".
"Ah" means "tower" and "truck" means "inside wheel", let's go!
Inside wheel, let's go!
Turn to the left.