AISubs v3.5
"Gaki no Tsukai" pre-production dressing room.
As usual, the opening planning meeting was difficult.
However, in the midst of that, Matsumoto Hitoshi had a certain idea and was returning.
What should we do?
Well, up until now I've challenged myself with various things.
Lately, I've been away from challenges.
That's right.
So, today or sometime this month, I'd like to challenge myself with a series of challenges.
It's a warning, for now.
The determined adventurer, Hitoshi Matsumoto, has succeeded in many challenges so far.
What kind of challenges will he face this time?
Well, for me, it wasn't that big of a deal.
Don't say it's dangerous.
But it's fine if it's a big deal.
It's true that I've come up with various ways of thinking.
What?
Well, when you think of "down-down" and "moto- moto"
"down-down" comes from "kami-hito-e" in Japanese.
Oh, I see.
No, no.
This show is...
This show is a Chinese show, right?
No, it's not.
It's a stand-up show.
"Shini-tai".
It has a meaning, doesn't it?
There's a part like "shini-tai".
Don't say it like that.
Well, even if you say it like that,
if you ask me about my challenge for today,
I think you'll think, "Oh, that's it."
No, no.
Well, that's about it.
Speaking of "nuts",
I've been thinking about it since last week.
Speaking of "nuts",
it's a roller race.
That's where it comes in.
Why is it a roller race in summer?
So...
this time...
I'm going to be pulled by a roller race car.
This is like summer, isn't it?
You're funny.
Roller coaster, born in summer of Japan.
Will it be able to ride over 10 tons of wheels?
Matsumoto hits a desperate challenge for roller coaster.
Die, you!
I think it will be fine.
No, why?
I think it's breathing.
If you can do it like a rammer,
and if you can do it like a roller coaster,
I think you can go and think about it.
Can I do it?
Die!
No, it has nothing to do with racing.
I want to do it.
I know you want to do it, but...
Die!
No, really.
Thank you.
You don't know it?
Even if you don't know it,
I want you to see it.
You're doing it, aren't you?
I want to do it.
You're doing it, aren't you?
I want to do it.
You don't know it, really.
Okay.
Do you understand?
Do it.
I'm telling you.
What?
You understand me now?
Matsumoto and Hitoshi are determined to go to the scene.
Because of the extreme tension,
Hitoshi's whole body is stiff.
Will it be okay this time?
Anxiety suddenly raises Hitoshi's brain power.
Even with such a reckless challenge,
Hamada can't hide his anxiety.
Hey, you idiot.
Hey, your skin color is getting weird!
When the outside air is dry, Hitoshi comes out of the window.
Hitoshi comes out of the window.
Just before the performance, you desperately fight against the anxiety that comes late.
My love, what are you looking at right now with those eyes of yours?
He's late!
He's late.
But he's already eaten.
He's already prepared.
But we have to hurry up or the sun will set, so we have to hurry up and eat.
Let's hurry up and eat.
Yeah.
We have a long way to go.
Oh, here it comes!
Oh!
It's coming!
Oh!
He's good!
Look at him go!
He's so fast!
Oh!
I've seen you driving around a lot, but you're definitely going to die!
It's okay, right?
It's okay, it's okay.
You don't know, do you?
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
Oh, it's dangerous! It's dangerous! It's dangerous!
Oh, it's here, right?
No, no, no.
Like this?
Like this.
Are you okay?
In the middle.
Are you okay?
Okay!
Are you okay?
Hey!
Huh?
Shouldn't you talk more?
Yeah.
I'm concentrating.
Yeah.
Look at the roller coaster over there.
Hey!
Look at the roller coaster!
Hey!
Did you get in? Did you get in?
Stop it!
What are you doing?
No, it's just...
What are you doing?
It's a little off.
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay!
Everyone, watch out for the watch!
Yeah.
You don't know, do you?
You're doing it, aren't you?
Right? Is it okay?
It's okay, it's okay.
Okay, let's go!
Alright!
Let's do it properly!
Right? Let's do it quickly.
It's far, too.
Let's go!
Excuse me, please start the engine!
Let's go!
Excuse me, please start the engine!
Excuse me!
Matsumoto-san!
But it looks good.
Okay, okay.
Matsumoto-san!
Let's give him a round of applause.
Great adventurer, Matsumoto-san.
Thank you for your great inspiration.
Your courage and your way of life.
We will never forget all of your challenges today.
This program is brought to you by the following sponsors.
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Wow!
This is really interesting.
What a... What a weird way of looking!
This... Hey, look at this!
Are you trying to look like you're wearing it?
I'm not trying to look like I'm wearing it!
If you're going to wear it, wear it. If you're not going to wear it, leave it in the dressing room.
Either way, I want you.
What are you talking about?
It's right here.
This is great.
Wow!
Well...
What is it? It's a good sentence.
Oh, is it?
I've been a little pissed off lately.
They've been doing a lot of Takanohana bashing in the news lately.
The other day, right?
Yeah.
So, like, kicking the soil.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, spitting out water.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They've been doing it.
No, I'll have you say it, but I have a Takanohana mold.
I don't care!
I don't care about that kind of thing!
Oh, I see, I see.
So that's what you think.
But!
But...
First of all, Oseki!
Yes, Oseki.
Do you know what "Oseki" means?
Yes, I know.
Do you know what "sanyaku" means?
I know what "sanyaku" means.
What and what...
Um... "yokozuna" and...
The top three! The best three are "sanyaku" and "chanko"!
What and what and what...
What is "sanyaku" and what is "chanko"?
So, what's next after "yokozuna"?
"Oseki".
Yeah! That's where it starts!
Ah!
We'll leave "yokozuna" here!
We'll leave it!
But "yokozuna" is amazing!
Yes, yes, yes!
From "oseki"...
Yes, that's right!
Um... "sekiwake"...
Oh! Here it is!
"komosubi".
Oh! Wonderful!
I don't know anything about it, so I won't be fooled.
It's scary to say you don't know anything about it!
If you say it, you'll get it right.
After "yokozuna" comes "erai" and "ouseki"...
Yes, yes, yes.
It's a battle bar!
What's that about?
Didn't you say something about "g-go" putting "tsuba" on the ball?
Yes, yes, yes.
What?!
What do you mean "tsuba"?
What are you doing with that sacred ball?!
No, no, you guys are kicking that sacred ball!
But you just said "geroka" and "tama" and "paa" and put "tsuba" on it...
That's weird!
If you put "tsuba" on "michael" for example, will he get angry?
Of course not!
But even if you kick "ousan", will "ousan" get angry?
No, I mean...
Why do you compare "soccer ball" and "ousan" in one word?
"Ousan" has nothing to do with it!
Well, well, but...
There are things you can say about "tsuba", right?
Like what?
Were you interested in it?
I mean, you used to play "tsuba", right?
Are you serious?
No, I'm serious.
When did you play "tsuba"?!
I don't play "tsuba" but I can't complain!
I don't know about you, but you play "tsuba" like this, right?
Yes, yes.
What does it mean?
What do you mean?
You should have said it earlier!
Why do you say "what do you mean" right away?!
You do it like this after you win, right?
I do it about three times.
I see.
Does it have a meaning?
Of course it does.
"Ofukuro".
You should have said it earlier!
I said it right now!
"Ofukuro".
You said "ofukuro" like three times!
No, no.
"Ofukuro", "oyaji" (father)
Right?
Who is it?!
Just say it!
Relatives.
Of course it has a meaning!
Of course it does.
"Thank you"!
"Really"?
"Thank you", "really"!
I know this!
What does "bira bira" mean?
Ah!
It means "sagarikko-chan".
"Sagarikko-chan"!
Hey, say "sagarikko-chan"!
What is it?
It's a Japanese national flag!
Before you go on Saturday, say "sagarikko-chan" on Monday.
I didn't know what "bira bira" meant.
Yes, it's "sagarikko-chan".
4,800 yen.
It's cheap!
No, it's not cheap!
It's expensive!
It's cheap!
4,800 yen!
Does "sagarikko-chan" have a meaning?
Of course it does.
Why does it have a meaning?
Can I say it?
Can you say it?
I don't know!
I want to know!
Can I say it?
No.
Who are you asking?
No?
Ah, you said "no".
No?
Who are you asking?
This happens a lot, doesn't it?
I knew it!
You know it?
I know all of it.
What are you good at?
You're such an idiot.
If you're good at something, it means you're not good at something else, right?
In my case, I'm almighty, so I can't choose what I'm good at.
What are you good at?
What I'm good at?
What are you good at?
Kama-soto-gari.
Kama-soto-gari!
Kama-soto-gari and...
Uchi-wake.
Uchi-wake?
Which one?
That's more interesting.
Kama-soto-gari and Uchi-wake.
Uchi-wake?
Can you try it?
Kama-soto-gari and Uchi-wake.
What do you want me to do first?
What?
Just go in like this.
Go in first.
Go in. Go in. Go in!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Can I tie it up?
I did it! I did it!
From Kama-soto-gari...
Is this Kama-soto-gari?
From outside. From outside.
Oh, Kama-soto-gari.
Kama-soto-gari.
Oh! It's beautiful!
Draw a circle like this.
Okay.
And then Uchi-wake.
What is Uchi-wake?
Well...
It's 4,800 yen, so...
Who does Uchi-wake like that?!
You say that all the time, but do you play sports?
No, I don't. I only go golfing once in a while.
I quit once.
No, I'm just mad at the rules of golf.
Like, when you decide on a putt, you can't turn sideways.
You don't have to turn sideways.
But...
Even if you walk like this, you'll be like...
Like you've eaten a sea urchin.
No, no.
If you step on it and it goes like this...
I thought you were hooking it.
But if you slice it after it goes like this...
It might happen.
- Does it change the ball shape? - Of course it does!
If it changes the ball shape like that...
Quit it!
Why?
Why?!
I miss you!
But why did you quit once?
It's not like you missed a putt because you missed a stone or something like that.
You quit because you couldn't hit the ball, right?
That's not it, you idiot.
- Hit it! - I didn't hit it!
That's not it!
You didn't hit it, but you hit it no matter how weird it is!
It just happened to be over there.
If it was over here, it would have gone in.
No, it just happened to be over here.
- You hit it with your eyes raised. - No.
I was aiming for my own hole.
- No, no. - I was aiming for my own...
What are you talking about?
- There's only one hole. - There's only one hole ahead of you.
- But you hit it with your eyes raised.
That's not it!
You guys aimed for the other hole.
I don't want to do the same thing as you.
- Everyone says the same thing! - That's not it!
You aimed for the other hole.
I don't like that!
I aim for my own hole!
Why are you saying one thing at a time?
Japanese people always lie!
What are you saying?
Shut up!
I can't change my heart.
Ki!
Ignore me.
It can't be helped. Aren't you Japanese?
What? No way!
There's something I've been wondering about for a long time.
Yes?
Even though it's an Alps mountain, there are often rescue dogs.
There are small barrels hanging from their necks.
I see.
What are those small barrels?
What are they?
St. Bernard.
That's right.
What are you doing with them?
Maybe there's alcohol in them.
No, there's no mistake about that.
Right?
There's no mistake about that.
As for why I chose this grave, there's a big mistake about it.
Is it a mistake?
You've seen barrels before, haven't you?
Yes, yes, yes.
What are barrels like?
They're something like this, right?
Well, big ones. Big ones... I mean, they're barrels too.
But you know, there are small barrels too.
No, no, no, that one has a big barrel attached to its neck.
No, no, no, it's small.
No, no, no, it's not a small barrel.
No, no, no, it's got a dog on it.
No, no, no, it's got a dog on it, a small barrel.
No, no, it's got a small barrel...
Who is that?
A grandma?
Grandma is getting in the way.
It's a small barrel!
It's a big barrel!
But the dog is...
Wait, wait, wait!
No, no, no, it's a big barrel!
You watch it on TV, don't you? The dog with the barrel here.
Yes, I do.
At that moment, why don't you think, "It's a big dog!"?
Why do you think it's a small barrel?
Because the dog is big!
Like this aurora.
I don't think there's a dog this big!
Is there a dog this big?
No.
This is sudden, but I have a question for Hamada- san.
When I see Hamada-san's tsukkomi, I touch Matsumoto- san's forehead or poke my finger in his nostrils.
I'm surprised.
I heard there are 15 other tsukkomi.
There are?!
What other tsukkomi is there? Tell me.
There used to be one like this.
Like, "Hey, hey!"
And here and here at the same time.
Wait!
A little more.
Oh, sorry.
What else?
In the past...
Like this.
Or like now.
Well, there was...
Wait a minute.
Right now...
I hope I'm not making things up.
I really don't like that.
You know, right?
I know.
I know it all.
You're Hamada-kun, right?
That's right.
You know me, right?
Matsumoto-kun.
Okay, okay.
Well, of course there's that.
There is.
What else is there?
Well...
Well, in my pattern...
In Hamada-kun's pattern, there are fifteen, right?
Hamada-kun, over there for a second.
It's really, really painful.
Maybe you should pull it back.
But you're laughing.
You know me, right?
I can't hold it in my mouth right away, right?
Right now.
Even though it hurts.
Do you know why?
I don't know.
It feels like blood is coming out of it.
There's something I don't understand.
Why does a love hotel last for 2 hours?
Isn't it about 2 hours?
Oh, is it?
Well, you can take a bath, too.
Together?
Of course, there's that personal difference.
You've always done it, but you can take a bath together.
I've never taken a bath with a woman.
Have you ever taken a bath together?
Yes, I have.
Wow, you're an old man.
Why?
I think there are a lot of things to decide as an old man.
Is that one of them?
If you take a bath with a woman, you're already an old man, right?
Is that so?
You're an old man.
And if you eat sushi while laughing, you're an old man.
Even if you don't do it, you'll do it.
You'll do it!
No, I won't!
Why? It's funny!
No, it's not!
It's funny when you talk, and it's funny when you laugh!
You're an old man!
No, I'm not!
You're an old man who eats sushi while laughing!
No, I'm not!
That's not true!
Of course you are!
No, I'm not!
You're like this when you're in kindergarten...
Kou-chan! Kou-chan!
Like this?
Mamen!
Like this?
The way you laugh!
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