AISubs v3.5
What's the point of all of this?
We will now begin the hearing.
Defendant, please enter.
What is this?
What the hell?!
From now on, we will start investigating the downtown Hamada case.
In addition, the defendant will defend himself, so please take your defense seat.
Are you stupid?
Your Honor.
Prosecutor, please.
Hamada is definitely Masato.
Welcome!
You can tell by looking at me, can't you?
Oh, you speak Osaka dialect, as usual.
Well...
You keep saying you don't have plastic surgery.
I don't have it!
Are you sure?
Well...
Yes.
I don't have it.
I haven't heard anything about it.
I'm serious!
I haven't heard anything about it.
And you brought me here.
Well, you work and watch TV sometimes.
You too!
You've been working on a drama recently.
Yes, yes.
Do you know the talent, Haruko Sagara?
Yes, I do.
In the drama, she has a kissing scene.
Yes, yes.
I'd like to get a comment from Haruko Sagara.
What?!
What do you know?!
I'd like you to look at it for now, Your Honor.
Show me the evidence.
Yes!
Who the hell are you?!
I've been working with Hama-chan in a drama called "AD Mugi" and we're still very close friends.
In the drama, there was a kissing scene and when I touched her lips for half an hour, my lips felt soft and juicy and I couldn't really feel her body temperature.
You asked me, didn't I?!
Hey, salon manager!
Yes?
You asked me, didn't I?! You asked me, didn't you?!
What?! That's not true at all.
As I've said before, my lips are not monophones!
No, no, it's real!
This time, I'd like to talk about lips, which is a very important point.
By the way, could you look at this for a moment?
Yes.
This is your latest photo.
You can't really tell from this distance.
And if you zoom in and zoom out, you'll see this.
Lately, you've been doing a lot of plastic surgery.
Hey, wait!
You can't tell from this!
No, you can't!
You really can't!
We've already given up here, but...
Wait a minute! Let's pursue it one more step!
What we've said one more step is...
What is this?
Hey, wait!
What is this?
If you count it, it's 108 needles!
You can tell by looking at it, can't you?
It's weird!
108 needles per 100 tons!
Why is it black around here?
You don't usually do this kind of poor surgery, do you?
We're just doing it according to human instincts.
Don't say it like you know it.
Even if you know it like this, you still don't know it!
No, I mean...
You can tell by looking at it, can't you?
Zoom in closer and look at it.
We've also done a lot of research.
Since it's such a big surgery, there's no way you won't be hospitalized.
From what we've learned, you'll be hospitalized in a hospital somewhere in a week.
What?
There's even a picture of it.
No way!
I'll show you.
No way!
It's this.
Hey, wait!
You're scary!
Why did you buy it while laughing from the window while you were hospitalized?
Well...
The surgery went well and I was really happy.
You're making me laugh a lot.
No way!
Even with this, you're still going to cut your hair, right?
Is that so?
I understand.
Judge!
Yes?
Can you call a witness?
A witness?
Yes.
Who is it?
No way!
What are you doing?
What?
What is this?
Thank you.
Well, I often work with you, Mr. Hamada.
We work together in a road game bus or something like that.
At that time, I was sleeping and I thought, "Oh, Mr. Hamada, you must be tired."
When I looked at you for a moment, you were talking in your sleep.
You said in your sleep, "Don't say that again."
I was wondering what you meant.
And I often go out for a drink with you, Mr. Hamada.
You always say something to me, Mr. Hamada.
You always say, "In order to become a celebrity, you have to get plastic surgery."
You always say that.
You said it clearly!
Shut up!
Get out of my way.
When did you hear that?
I'm not a disciple of Mr. Hamada!
That's a lie!
What kind of person are you?
Mr. Hamada said "Mr. Hamada" himself.
Oh, I see.
So you have a definitive evidence.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
For what?
I'm sorry, Mr. Hamada.
When you left Tokyo and met me in your dream,
you went to see Mr. Hamada studying.
At that time, Mr. Hamada asked you to come and study with me.
And you asked me to take this with me.
So I took this with me.
I'm sorry.
It looks like a piece of oil paper.
Yes, it is.
What is it?
May I?
Yes.
What is it?
This is for my previous lips!
What am I? A general manager?
No way!
What are you doing for my lips?
Thank you very much.
Don't you usually get angry?
I get angry like this.
What are you talking about?
When we were eating together at work,
there was something that the waitress said to you.
Something that made you react strangely.
What are you talking about?
There is one more general manager.
Who is it?
Who are you?
Don't you know me?
I run a cigarette shop in Shinjuku.
I think it was three or four years ago.
He came to my house and said in Osaka dialect,
Auntie, do you have a big mask?
So I gave it to him and he came to buy it every now and then.
Are you kidding me?
At that time, the mask he sold was like this.
This is a big disaster to deceive people.
Wait.
I can't do anything for you.
Don't you know me?
Thank you very much.
Is that all you can do for me?
I'll get up again.
You don't have to do that.
I understand.
Then I will pursue a more psychological part.
Judge, I think it's okay, right?
Yes.
Well...
Chart-like sexual judgment judgment table.
Is there such a thing?
You made it yourself, didn't you?
Well, first of all, let's look at this.
Date... date...
What?
Date?
What do you mean by "date"?
That's the worst thing you can say.
I can't help answering you.
If you're going on a date, go to an amusement park.
Well...
Well, I don't have much to say about it, but...
Well, yes.
Yes!
Your first kiss was in your own room.
No.
No!
You like coffee.
No!
You're shaping your lips.
Like this...
It's coming out.
You said that...
You said...
Show me another part of it!
Is it okay for it to be in an aura, judge?
Let's take a look at this.
What are you doing?
This is...
This is Hamada Masatoshi's skull.
And I showed it to an expert...
And he shaped it for me.
Then you can see the real Hamada's face.
If the real Hamada's face and the current Hamada's face are different...
That means you're shaping it.
So I asked an expert...
And he made me the real Hamada.
You're not human either.
Right?
If we start with this skull...
Hamada Masatoshi's face is like this.
Now...
This is the real Hamada Masatoshi!
Why are you doing this to me?
What's up with you?
Are you happy now?
About what?
I will now announce the verdict against defendant Hamada Masatoshi.
The verdict is...
Death penalty!
What's up with you?!
I told you not to do it!
What's up with you guys?!
What's up with you?!
Wait up!
Stop it!
Thank you very much!
It's been two weeks since we saw you, but what's up?
- Yes, that's right. - What's up with you?
- You're really bad. - Bad?
- It's been two weeks since we saw you. - It's been two weeks since we saw you,
but aren't you used to the audience today?
- We've been doing this for a long time. - Oh, really?
- Are you used to it now? - It's not like you're seeing me for the first time.
- I'm not that moved. - Oh, you're not?
- Is that so? - Yes.
- Is that so? - I don't know.
I won't answer you.
- Well, I'm not that old to be moved. - That's true, but...
- Well, I'll die in about 50 years anyway. - No, no, no.
- That's not important now. - Well, you know...
- Things are tough, aren't they? - Yes.
- What is? - No matter what you say, you're in trouble.
- You're in trouble! - What's tough about it?
- Don't you think about it before you ask? - Of course.
- Well, you're in trouble. - What is?!
- What's the meeting about? Did something happen? - What's happened?
- I was in a taxi and a truck came. - Yes.
- It must have been a woman. - Yes.
- An old woman. - Yes.
- She was in a bad place. - Yes.
- She was shaking a lot, but she drank a bottle of milk desperately.
- Why don't you go to Tyler's and drink some more?
- She didn't come. And it was a bottle of milk.
- That made me laugh a little. - Did it?
- Well! - That's how it is. - That's how it is!
- Everyone... Oh, right, not students. Students are on vacation, right? - Students are on vacation. That's amazing. - That's right.
- Look, everyone here is working, right? - That's right. - That's right. Look at their faces! They're students!
- You know what I think? All of a sudden, you know, high school and middle school students came into this world right away, right? - Yes, yes.
- Isn't it nice to be a salaryman for about a year? - What? - Because I want to try it a little.
- Can you do it every day at the same time?
- What time does the company open now? - It opens at nine o'clock. - Oh, nine o'clock. - The company...
- Can you get in properly at nine o'clock? - That's right. - It opens at nine o'clock!
- Come on, entertainers, don't say that! - I won't say it! I'll get in tomorrow at nine o'clock!
- Get in! - No, but... - What? - You have to get in at nine o'clock, right? - Nine o'clock... Oh, nine o'clock, right? - Yes.
- Isn't it too late? Students are on vacation, right? - If you get on the train... - It won't come, right? Is it really like that?
- Is it really like that? - It won't come, right? - Oh, I see. - It's tough, right?
- Huh? But I want to have a love that can't be helped. - A love that can't be helped!
- There's always stuff like that.
- I see.
- It's no use in saying "it's not like that" or "it was like that"
- That's the truth!
- I'm not saying that!
- That's the truth!
- That's true, but...
- Sometimes, it's good to say that, though.
- I wonder about that.
- It's like a job.
- When you're working, you can't get enough rest.
- You can't have enough rest.
- It's fun.
Are you looking for a phone?
Yes, over there.
Over there?
I don't have one like that.
It's fun.
I only have one piece of paper.
I've copied it many times.
It's fun to laugh at.
Chinko did?
I saw it.
I'm sorry.
I'm not a princess.
Papa!
Useful...
I'm not the only one who's had an accident.
I've been driving for over ten years.
Have you ever hit something?
No, no, no.
Have you ever spun in a parking lot?
That's because I'm in a good mood.
You're in a good mood, but you look like you're going to spin like this.
But I haven't.
Really?
I'm often hit in the head.
What?
In the car?
In the car!
Why do you usually hit me in the head?
It's tough.
I've been hit in the head many times, but I've never said anything like that.
That's not true.
It's true.
I've been hit in the head once.
And when I got out of the car, I was drooling.
Like this.
Why?
Who hit you?
I didn't hit you.
I don't know.
I was drooling.
I told you to be careful. You're drunk.
Go.
Go!
Why are you stopping me?
It has nothing to do with you!
Go!
Why did you let me go?
I told you to be careful. You're drunk.
Give me a towel.
Yes, give me a towel.
I have a sister. When I see her in pajamas, I get excited. Do you have a sister? Did you do something?
What do you mean by "did you do something"?
I have a sister. You have a sister.
I did something.
What did you do?
Sexual harassment.
No way!
Sexual harassment.
Don't say that.
Did you do it?
No way!
It's not like that.
Really?
Yes.
Did you do it?
No.
When you're sleeping...
What?
When you're sleeping, do you look up like this?
I don't look up when I'm sleeping.
It's not like that.
When you're sleeping...
You have a sister, don't you?
Well...
Just a little.
Really?!
"Really" is usually a woman's phrase.
I don't know about you, but I think you're a little...
You've been peeking at something, haven't you?
I have!
Yes, you have.
Peeking at what?
At you changing clothes.
What?!
Why?
Even if you're changing clothes, it's not like you're wearing underwear and wearing clothes from above, right?
No.
Yes!
Is it because you're a spa?
The part where you're changing pants is also mine.
Yes!
The part where you're changing pants is...
What do you mean?
Pants... You've changed them before, haven't you?
That's... That's what you call "changing," too, right?
Is that what you call "changing"?
If you say "spa girl," you'll know what I mean.
Yes, yes, "spa girl."
Maybe you're changing pants.
Yes, yes, yes.
I've peeked at "spa girl."
Oh, you haven't?
Everyone does it like that. Maybe you've peeked at "spa girl." even when I took a bath.
I haven't! I haven't!
You know it! You know it!
I know it! I know it!
We do it and you do it. You know it!
I know it! I know it!
Well, I'm like, "Oh, you're watching it today." So I force myself to do it.
Why?
Why do you do it?
I do it more than usual.
I force myself to do it.
This is sudden, but why does a bird move its neck in an unnatural way?
Like this?
Like this.
You're taking a rhythm, aren't you? It's easier for you to move forward like this, isn't it?
It's easier for you to move forward like this, isn't it?
To tell you the truth...
How do you know?
A bird's neck doesn't stick together.
What? What do you mean? It doesn't stick together. It does stick together.
It's just on top of you.
It's connected. It's connected.
It's just on top of you and you don't do anything good.
Have you ever seen a bird walk like this even though it moves like this?
Like this.
If you fall, you'll be in trouble.
How do you know?
You'll die.
No, no, no.
Even if you fall, you'll die.
There's a theory like that.
A theory?
There's a theory like that.
Who is Hijofuji's uncle Mark?
I don't know if I should ask you this or not.
Do you know her?
Of course I know her.
Is she a woman or a man?
She's a man.
A man?
She has a model.
She has a model?
Yes.
How old is she?
She's not old...
Actually, you all know her.
What?
Really?
Who?
Shinichi Chiba.
English class is extended for foreigners.
Students are extended for up to three people.
Pre-school students are extended for...
The official name of Japanese TV is "Japanese TV Broadcasting Corporation".
Yes.
The official name of Yokohama Silver Medal is "The Crazy Rider Yokohama Silver Medal Rolling Special".
Please let me know the official name of Downtown.
People say "Downtown" casually.
But it's not like that.
It's hard to say it simply like that.
Yes.
Actually, I think it's not like that.
You don't know it, do you?
It's always in me.
When people say "Downtown", I always think it's not like that.
It's always in me.
It's always in me that people say "Downtown" casually.
Really?
Please let me know.
What is it?
The official name of...
What is it?
What are you saying?
You don't know it, do you?
What is it?
The official name of...
- Mufesu... - Nakama!