AISubs v3.5
Who are you?
Can you ride your bike properly?
Yes.
- Are you okay? - Yes.
- Is there anything stopping you? - No, no.
How wide is it?
I measured it earlier.
It's about 30 degrees.
30 degrees?!
- All right! - All right!
Are you okay?
How is it?
The bike is fine.
This is the bike you were talking about, right?
No, it's not.
Huh?
No, it's not.
Hey!
- Is it okay? - Yes.
- Is it stable? - Yes.
But...
This bike itself is very stable.
It doesn't stop in the middle of the road.
Is this bike wide enough?
Yes, it's about 30 degrees.
- It's about 30 degrees. - Yes, it's about 30 degrees.
It's about 20 meters wide.
- It's about 20 meters wide. - Yes.
This is...
When I was racing...
When I was racing with this bike...
It was about 15 meters wide.
- Is it okay? - Yes, it's okay.
It's not that wide.
It's a little...
No.
What would you do if you went sideways like this?
Would you go sideways like this?
I'm interested in that chainring.
But today, I'm thinking of putting the chain like this and putting it on a tree.
No, you can't do that. That's dangerous.
It's a secret.
No, but I wonder if you'll let me do it all the time.
I'm sure you'll think I'm lying again.
Right?
Yeah.
It's my house, right?
Yeah.
There's no need for me to do it on a show like this. It's dangerous.
Yeah.
I'd like to go like this and jump once.
The owner is looking out of the window over there, so I'm thinking of signing.
Well, let's do it on the stairs.
Are you sure you're doing it?
I don't know what you're talking about.
We'll be waiting for you up there.
Yeah.
Be careful.
All right!
We'll be up there.
Hey!
Watch out!
It's coming, it's coming!
I can't see anything!
Go to the side!
Why can't I do anything?!
A little more!
Idiot!
It's so hard!
Let's go forward a little.
We said "downtown", you know.
You two are saying "can we do it or not?"
I say "Matsumoto".
I say "hamada".
Together, we say "downtown".
It's a joke, you know.
That's right. I'm just saying it out loud.
Saying it out loud is a big inconvenience for the audience.
I see.
If I say something I don't know, the audience will think "that can't be right", right?
At that moment, I have to say "don't do it, don't do it", right?
That's right.
But you know, from now on, we'll do impersonations and such.
I can't do it.
If you keep doing it like this for about 30 minutes, you'll get angry.
Not angry, but they'll go crazy.
They'll go crazy.
I can't do it.
Well, well, well.
It was good today, wasn't it, audience? You were in good spirits.
Last week was the worst.
I'm not saying it now, but last week...
Last week's audience was the worst.
I'm really saying it now, but last week, there were about three men in the back, but they laughed their asses off until the end.
What's that? We weren't funny?
That's right!
Even when I go home, I'm still a barman!
How frustrating! How frustrating!
The barman you have at home is an old man!
Old man?!
What's with you?!
Seriously!
You're such a bad-tempered actor!
We weren't talking at all!
No, no, no...
We were just listening!
You were listening very carefully!
I was looking this way!
You were looking this way and listening carefully, and then you laughed like crazy!
Well, you know...
Everyone thinks they're funny in their own way...
But that's not the case...
If that wasn't the case, I wouldn't have said it!
Why did you say it out loud when we were listening?!
No, I don't know!
Out of the three of you, I don't know why he said it.
Yeah, yeah...
Hey, let's go.
Yeah, yeah...
What?!
Then why didn't he say it?
Now that I think about it, I didn't think he'd say it either!
This road is...
Then I'll...
You know...
A timer...
Right?
A timer, right?
That's right, that's right...
You're pulling it, right?
Yeah, yeah...
Okay!
I was doing it at home...
That's why I said it!
A timer, right?!
That's right...
You're pulling it, right?!
What do you mean you were doing it?!
I was matching the timer!
What do you mean you were matching the timer?!
I was doing the timer!
So... before you go to sleep...
It's hot in the next room...
Go to the living room...
Living room?!
God, living room...
Everyone has a living room!
No, no, no, you're saying "living room"
Well, it's hot in there...
When I woke up in the morning and went to the living room...
You calculated and timed it...
I did!
And it was a hot day that day!
Don't say it out loud...
So I was sleeping...
I was sleeping...
It's hot in the sleeping room...
Because you can't turn on the air conditioner...
I see...
It's hot...
So in the cool living room...
Go!
I said "go" and I made a mistake...
And I cried!
I'm mad! I'm mad!
You're crazy!
I'm really, really mad!
That's one reason...
There's a timer you set an hour before you wake up...
With that you make mistakes...
But when it's time to wake up...
You make a noise...
It's hot! It's hot!
With that you can use it to wake up...
With that you can't wake up!
You have to wake up in a cool way!
But you can't wake up like that...
You're sweating so much!
Why don't you step on me?
That's why...
I stepped on you and you did this...
It's fine!
You stepped on me!
Well, that's your charm...
What are you saying?
You have feelings!
What's your charm?
I don't know...
What do you think your charm is?
Why didn't you say that yourself?
Everyone has something in themselves...
Even in their faces...
"I won't lose this"...
I don't have a weird nose...
What do you like about me?
This is Emu Moutan!
Thank you!
What do you like about me?
When you look at me?
My mouth?
This is Emu Moutan!
Don't poke me!
I see...
I like your right eye that you hid with your bangs.
I can't see it at all!
Where did you hide it?
And your tattoo on your chest...
I have a lot of tattoos on my chest!
I have a lot of tattoos!
And your skin piercings...
I'm proud of them...
And your chin beard...
And your philtrum beard...
And your water sword that you learned in elementary school...
Yes, my water sword...
When you were drinking in elementary school...
By the way...
What I want to say is...
Your face is smaller than mine!
You're ugly!
Why do you say that?
Why don't you say it?
Wait a minute. You're annoying me. Don't say that.
You don't have to say it yourself.
I have a very noble thing.
No matter what I take.
You're not like that.
You look like this.
You look like you're going to eat something.
You look like you're going to poke your lower jaw.
What's wrong with you?
Even if I'm not an entertainer, I'm making good use of my reputation.
You're an entertainer, but you don't have it.
I don't know about that.
You want to be like me, don't you?
No.
I don't like this!
When you were a kid, you couldn't tell which was stronger, the beetle or the beetle larvae.
You always said, "It depends on the beetle larvae."
But you know, kids say things like, "Beetles are like this."
Even if you fight like this, they'll pinch you and say things like that.
That's why you could tell.
Beetles are definitely stronger.
I hate beetles.
Why?
Are you trying to win?
Against me?
Why?
Why are you trying?
Oh, you're an old woman.
Why did you pretend to be an old woman while we were talking?
Your eyes were red, so you were drawing like this.
And you were talking, so it was red, but you stopped and it became like this.
Oh, I see.
You didn't pretend to be an old woman.
An old woman or my wife would say that.
Trombone?
Well, well, well...
In our mouths there is something called "nozochinco".
Yes.
What role do they play in our mouths? Please tell us.
But don't they do anything when we speak up?
Huh? In what way?
Here, like this...
Don't they vibrate like this?
Ah, so if you stop saying "nozochinko" with some kind of cellotape, you won't be able to speak up.
Could it be...
I think you all have been to love hotels before, but...
When you enter a love hotel by car...
There is something like...
There is a curtain.
There is something like a curtain that is curled up.
But you don't need it.
But you try not to show it.
If you go inside...
That's why you don't think.
Yes, yes, yes...
So it's the same thing, right?
What do you mean?
You really are different from an idiot.
Cut it out!
Who is that?
So, what role do "nozochinko" play?
They eat things!
Yes.
When they eat, they go inside their mouths!
Yes.
As food...
Yes.
When they go inside their mouths...
Yes.
They don't really get looked at, right?
I see.
You're too excited.
You!
What's with you?!
What do you mean you don't get looked at?!
Hey!
You're not supposed to be here!
You're supposed to be in here, but you're already being looked at.
If you go in any further, who's going to look at you?
You were curry!
What's with you?!
What do you mean I was curry?!
Hey, hey, hey!
Give me a break!
Get used to curry!
You were curry.
Right?
What you're seeing right now is rice.
Yeah, that's fine.
Do you get it?
Is it okay?
Do you get it?
I get it, but is it okay?
You're curry!
Yeah.
You're curry.
I know that!
Look at the light above you and...
What are you talking about?!
You're like St. James!
Who are you talking about?!
You're seeing rice right now!
I'm curry!
You're curry!
My woman is rice!
Rice!
You're seeing rice right now!
But you're seeing rice and you haven't been found out!
Why?!
If you ask me why, I won't talk anymore!
Why haven't you been found out?!
You have a wife named Udon!
Do you get that?!
I don't get it!
I get it!
I have a wife named Udon!
But...
But you have a sign "curry udon" in your house!
That's right!
But you have a wife named Udon!
That's right!
And...
And you're trying to eat curry in your mouth!
Two channels are used for video and Famicom.
That's true for Tokyo, right?
- One for Osaka. - One for Osaka, right?
Why do you have five channels and nine channels?
- That's... - Is it open for someone to take it someday?
- I don't know about that. - You just don't know?
- There are four democratic parties now, right? - Yes.
Maybe you can do something with it, so you're opening one for that.
If TV Tokyo works harder, you can get some of their rights.
You don't have to be great just because you're one channel.
Why do you exist? Will you be filled someday?
But it's impossible, right? The TV station itself...
Oh, you mean like a parking lot?
What do you mean?!
1, 2, 3, 5, like that, right?
Yes, yes.
Even in a hotel room, there might not be a 404, right?
Yes, yes.
Is that what you mean?
What do you mean?
No, that's...
No, it's not like that.
But you know what? I'll look at it!
Sounds interesting.
Huh?! Wait a minute!
I'm sure you've seen something like that in a regular hotel room.
No, no.
You've seen it?
I've been watching it for a while now.
What did you see?
You know, it'd be nice if you all tried it out.
At first, you go "zaaah"!
At first?
At first!
You go "zaaah"!
You think you can change it because you go "zaaah" right away, right?
You can't do that!
Ah! You can't do it because you're impatient!
Wait a minute!
What is it?
I've been watching it for a while now. Seriously, I've been watching it for a while now.
You go "zaaah"!
You think you can change it because you go "zaaah" right away, right?
I've been watching it like this for about an hour.
A drama has begun.
A detective drama.
That's enough.
Mr. Matsumoto, you often talk about this when you're in a car, but what is this thing on the road sign?
Have you seen it?
Also, what are you pointing at? Please tell me.
To tell you the truth, this was some kind of sign.
At first...
It's funny.
Then... Some kind of sign was standing like this.
- A sign? - Yes.
- It was standing like this. - Yes.
Then, at a high speed, a car comes, right?
- Yes. - Baah!
Haah!
I can't stand it anymore.
What are you talking about?
You stand there! You stand there!
- Hey! - What is it?
If you say "baah!", I'll be surprised!
You'll be surprised.
- Hey! - Yes?
- I told you! - Yes?
That's what happened!
- Wait a minute. - Yes?
- Let's organize it. - Yes.
- This sign... - Yes?
What was it?
- At first, it was "some kind of" sign. - "Some kind of"?
I don't know what it was.
It wasn't a picture, but it was a sign.
It was "some kind of" sign.
"Some kind of" sign!
- "Some kind of" sign! - Yes.
- Yes? - It was a sign like that.
Yes, of course it was.
- At first... - Yes.
- Then... - Then...
- It was like this... - "Baah! Baah!"
"Why am I "some kind of" sign?"
Well, he thought so.
- Even though there are a lot of signs... - I didn't like "some kind of" sign.
- Especially... - Yes.
What are you doing?
What are you fixing?
- I'm bored. - Are you conscious of it?
- I'm bored, so I'll just do it. - I know.
- Right? - Yes.
- Suddenly, at high speed... - Yes.
- What? - The car...
- The car...
Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah!
Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah!
Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah!
- It changed... - "Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah! Baah!"
- You... - Hm?
- Do you... - Hm?