AISubs v3.5
Well, I was watching "manzai" today.
Oh, you missed it.
Why did you miss it?
Because I didn't go yesterday.
Did you catch a cold?
Yes, I did.
Didn't you feel like you couldn't stop coughing?
I couldn't stop coughing when I was talking.
I see.
Because tofu is our main ingredient.
If we can't talk, we can't do anything.
You're right.
Manzai
Well, "manzai" started on October 3rd, 2002.
Did you watch it on New Year's Day?
Yes, I did.
Today you're going to watch "kid's phone conversation" on November 28th, 2002.
You've been talking about it, haven't you?
Yes.
But you stopped talking about it.
"manzai" is the last one.
Isn't it?
Of course it is.
Most of us stopped talking about it.
You stopped talking about it.
On the way here...
kid's phone conversation
On the way here, I was thinking about it.
Then you came and explained it to me.
We talked about it in the dressing room.
We talked about it once or twice.
But you talked about it again and again.
You're a genius.
What's up with you?
"manzai" ends so quickly.
You're the biggest comedian in this century.
I'm sure of it.
Shut up!
"kid's phone conversation" is the first and last one.
You haven't done it anywhere.
No, it's my first time.
I've only done it once.
I'll never do it again.
I'm sure you'll be asked "why don't you do it?" even though you're a comedian.
Yes.
"Why don't you do it?" even though you're a comedian.
Why don't you do it?
Because you're lying.
I'm not such a comedian.
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for inviting me.
I haven't been on TV lately, but it's not very interesting.
It's all about movies now.
The radio is more interesting.
There's a lot of talking on the phone in the afternoon.
It's pretty popular.
It's hard to listen to.
It's hard for friends to understand.
It's hard for parents to listen to, too.
Talking on the phone.
(makes noise)
Gachan!
Yes?
Hello?
What?
I was doing something.
That happens.
It does.
(makes noise)
Gachan!
Yes?
Hello?
Talking on the phone.
What's up?
Hey, hello?
Shut up!
Talking on the phone is too much!
Hey, hello?
I don't know if you're a quick learner or not.
Don't talk to me like that!
Talk to me like a little kid!
Like a little kid?
Yes.
(makes noise)
Gachan!
Hello?
Talking on the phone.
It's Hamada!
Hello?
What's your name?
Matsumoto.
Matsumoto?
Yes.
Matsumoto, who are you?
Sato!
Sato?
Sato, who are you?
Matsumoto!
Oh, you're Matsumoto?
Matsumoto?
Yes!
Matsumoto, who are you?
Sato!
Sato?
Yes!
Sato?
Yes!
Matsumoto?
Yes!
Matsumoto?
Yes!
Where's Sato?
Yes!
Who are you?
Matsumoto Sato.
Matsumoto Sato? Is that your name?
Yes.
This is strange! You don't think so, do you?
It doesn't make sense!
I'm sorry!
It's strange that you touch me even though it's a phone call.
I'm sorry!
Hello?
Well...
What's up?
I have something to ask you.
That's why you called me, right?
What's up? What happened?
Well...well...well...
Don't call me "kid".
What?
Don't you like me as a kid?
Don't call me "kid" or anything like that!
It's none of your business!
I have something I want to know.
Something childish.
Hello?
You know, I feel like I'm going to have a stomachache.
I think I'm going to throw up.
What do you want me to eat?
Ask your mother!
Don't call me "kid" or anything like that!
If you call me "kid", I'll call you "mother"!
If you want me to say something, say it!
You should ask your mother!
I'll ask you something like a kid.
Why does a giraffe have a long neck?
That's a good question!
It's my first time hearing it!
Say it again!
Why does a giraffe have a long neck?
It's not "kubin", it's "kirin".
It's "kirin", you know!
Ouch! I didn't mean you!
A "kirin" is a very relaxing animal.
That's why it has a long neck and can't wait for a snack at 3 o'clock!
That's true!
It's true!
A "kame" is who?
It's no one!
A "kuma" is me!
No, it's not you!
A "kame" is tomorrow!
What?
A "hebi" is you!
A "gorilla" is you!
Shut up!
What's wrong with you?
Is "tsunamo" such a thing?
What's wrong with you?
"Zou" is you!
Are you stupid?
What?
If you say complicated things, I'll be in trouble.
I'm a kid now.
I see.
You're a demon.
Hello? I'd like to ask you something.
What do you want me to ask you?
You're a stone!
Harley!
What can you answer me?
Brother!
No one will call you in a place like this!
Brother!
Say "brr".
Gacha!
Hello?
I'd like to ask you something.
Pippi!
You're a fox!
Get out of here! I feel sorry for you!
What are you going to do if she calls you and tells you to go away?
Hello?
Hello!
I'm calling you because you're a child.
What is it?
It's okay, I'll say it again.
I'm calling you because you're a child.
It's Matsumoto-nee-san.
It's Nee-san!
It's Matsumoto-nee-san.
What's wrong?
I have something I want to ask you.
Yes, what is it?
You know...
Yes?
I'm sorry, I had a catchphrase just now.
What are you doing?!
Don't call me a child in a classroom like this!
There are a lot of kids here and you're making me lonely.
Did you say "catchphrase"?!
You should have said it more carefully!
Hello? What's wrong? It's me, Onii-san.
Is it okay now?
Yes, it's okay.
Is the catchphrase okay?
It's okay.
Hello?
Yes, what is it?
I have something I want to ask you.
Yes?
How are babies born?
Oh, I see.
How are babies born?
Yes?
They're born with a kiss.
What?!
You're talking to a girl on the phone and you say "kiss"?
That's not how you say it.
How do you say "kiss"?
Huh?
How do you say "kiss" like that?
That's not how you say it!
You're talking to a girl on the phone and you say "kiss" like that!
You should say it without hiding it.
That's not how you say it!
You're talking like a child.
Like a child?
Like a child.
Hello? What's wrong?
Hello, Onii-san?
Yes?
I have something I want to ask you.
Yes?
Why do dogs bark and cry?
Hmm...
That's a great question.
Is it a great question?
Onii-san has been criticized.
I see.
Yes.
Why do dogs bark and cry?
Yes.
This is a very difficult question!
That's why, brother, I'm going to look into it!
Don't hang up! Wait for me!
I'm sorry! I'll be right out! Wait for me!
Hello? Do you understand me?
Hello? Do you understand me? Don't hang up!
Hurry up! Hurry up!
This is a very difficult question! Can you wait for me a little longer?
I'm sorry! I'll be right out!
I'm sorry! Can you wait for me a little longer?
Can you wait for me a little longer?
Well...
I just finished watching "Manzai".
Well, you're doing it!
It's amazing, isn't it?
You're doing "Manzai"!
Yes, I'm doing "Manzai".
But you shouldn't watch our "Manzai" too much.
Is that so?
Because you'll lose your confidence.
What are you talking about?
We can't watch "Manzai" anymore, can we?
That's right!
You shouldn't lose your confidence.
We're people from different worlds!
Really...
This is the last "Manzai".
Next is "Conto".
"Conto".
We've been doing this for a long time.
"Rolling Sun Lama".
This is...
This is the first time we're doing "Conto".
I've always been doing manzai, talking manzai, and I thought we should do "Conto" for a bit.
This is your first work.
I like it quite a lot.
Rolling Sun Lama
I like it quite a lot, but I don't really like it.
That's not good!
I'm serious, I hate it!
Did you like it at the set?
At the set... No, originally, we met a few times in front of the audience, but we didn't like it that much.
On top of that, we didn't like it even more at the time.
Ah!
It's lonely being alone, right?
You are now like a cloud,
Thank you!
Uncle!
Uncle, who are you?
I'm Rolling Thunderman, and I'm from M-36.
Rolling Thunderman?
Yes!
I don't know him.
Well, you may not know him on Earth.
I don't know him?
Uncle, what are you doing here?
You know Peggy Alien?
Peggy Alien?
Yes.
There is information that Peggy Aliens will attack Earth.
If we leave it like this, people on Earth will be...
...taken by Peggy Aliens!
"Taken by" you say?
That's why I came here to protect this beautiful green Earth!
Are you all right, Uncle?
I'm fine!
Peggy Aliens are coming, aren't they?
Even when I'm like this, Peggy Aliens may be watching you from somewhere!
I can't even say "hello" to you!
I'm still a child!
I see!
Be careful!
Thank you, Uncle!
See you!
They are all uncles!
I'm proud of you!
It's hard and I can't open it!
Uncle!
What is it?
It won't open!
What?
Izojiman's lid!
It must be the British politician's doing!
You're so smart!
What a terrible thing!
Look, it's all right!
Thank you, uncle!
But why are you doing such a terrible thing?
One mistake and you're dead!
What did you say?
One mistake and you're dead!
I'm tired of playing M-36 and M!
I don't know about that!
Be careful!
Thank you, uncle!
Uncle!
What?
But I'm afraid of that Peggy politician!
Quiet!
Rolling Thunder Man Mimmy!
It's like this!
Mimmy?
Peggy politician is saying bad things about you!
I'm not doing anything!
It's not like you're saying bad things about me!
I can hear you making bad decisions!
Really?
If you leave it like this, Peggy politician will grab your hair and pull you around!
Do something about it, uncle! I'm scared!
Peggy politician is looking at me!
Peggy politician!
Rolling Thunder Man Mimmy!
It's like this!
It's fine if you say "I'm going to look at it"
Peggy politician is looking at me!
What are you saying?
Do something about it, uncle!
If you don't do something about it...
Rolling Thunder Man's...
Oh, you're thinking about it?
That's right!
What?
I've got a good idea!
What is it?
It's fine! Even if Peggy politician attacks me...
With this Rolling Thunder Man Mimmy...
I'll definitely defeat him!
You don't have to use "mimmy" like that!
Yeah!
So...
Uncle...
Can you live with me?
I live alone!
Can you live alone?
Yeah, I can!
Can you live with me, please?
Let's do it!
Live with me!
And then, three years passed.
I'm back.
Hey!
What have you been doing with your pants off?
What?
What have you been doing?
Don't say that from the story!
I haven't done anything.
It stinks in here!
What?
Clean up the room!
I've been feeling sick lately.
You...
Aren't you on the side of justice?
What?
Didn't you say that in the beginning?
It stinks in here!
I've been feeling sick lately.
What have you been doing lately?
Don't say that from the story!
What?
Clean up the room!
That's not something you should do!
It's your job!
Get your hands off me!
You've changed!
You were pretty nice in the beginning.
What was nice about it?
You're mad because you didn't do anything right!
You haven't done anything at home, so do something!
Stop it!
Do something!
I don't like that!
I don't like it!
What?
Go home.
What?
Go home!
Where do you think you're going with me?
What?
What's with you?
When will you stop being like that?
What?
When will you stop being like that?
You said it three years ago.
Rolling Thunder Man.
It's about time you do it.
When will you do it?
It's been three years!
You lied, didn't you?
You're crazy!
You don't care about me at all!
You're too late!
What are you talking about?
I have a lot of clothes!
Mind your own business!
What's with you?
What's with this shirt?
You're acting weird!
Rolling Thunder Storm!
What's with you?
You think you can beat me up?
I'm not going to listen to you anymore!
If you only had a little food at home, you might be a Rolling Thunderman.
That's all for now.
I've seen it in Japan.
I've seen it in Japan, too.
I'm often told about it.
It's funny how they use shadows.
How about a first-class gangster?
I'm often told about it.
You have to get it from somewhere for 30 minutes.
It's been 30 minutes in my house.
It's an hour-long show.
It's been 30 minutes in my house.
What if you made it an hour-long show?
I don't know anymore.
It's unusual for you to do this at a time like this.
Isn't it?
It's not like that.
It's unusual for you to do this at a time like this.
It's not like that.
You want to do it next week as soon as it's fresh.
You want to keep your chest and body in good shape.
This is interesting.
What do you want me to drop?
No, it's not like that.
This is a serious matter.
Let's take care of each other's health.
We have to do something like this.
But you did the opening special, didn't you?
Yes, we did.
You did the punishment special, didn't you?
If you lose this time, you won't get anything.
We have to make something.
What should we do?
We could do a flash special.
Yes, yes, yes.
That pattern.
We could do that.
That pattern is my part.
You did it like this?
You left it at the end, didn't you?
Yes, yes. This is my part, so don't take it.
In other words, if you don't use it quickly, I might use it.
The reason why this happens is...
Two days ago, C-X was taken.
C-X makes us pretty bad.
If this keeps happening...
I wonder if it's C-X...
I wonder if it's a conversation with C-X-ter.
What kind of conversation is it?
Anyway, for today's break...
I'll do my best on TBS.
What are you doing?