AISubs v3.5
Yeah, I'll say it.
You know, on TV.
Even if you buy it from me, you won't be proud of it.
On the second episode of "Gaki no Tsukai" there's a love-hate prank!
- Now, let me explain! - Yes, yes.
- Over here, there's a panel. - Yes.
- The top row is my panel. - Oh.
- The bottom is yours. - Yes.
- I'll randomly put my likes and dislikes here. - Yes.
- We'll both say "next". - Oh, I see.
- Right? - Yes.
- Well, it's up to you. - Let's do that.
- Now! - Yes, yes, yes.
- Well then! - Yes.
- Let's put it up. - There's no point in worrying about it.
- There's no point in worrying about it.
- Well, there's a lot of problems. - Yes.
- It's not our will, you know? - Yes.
- You'll know when you see it.
- Do you want to see it first? - Let's see Hamada's dislikes first.
- Oh, that's good. - Here I go.
- Yes. - Here you go.
- Oh, it's really popular right now.
- Even if it's on TV, it's definitely more than 20%.
- But... I don't like it.
- What do you hate?
- I hate this blanket.
Ah, I see!
No, no, no, it's not my intention!
Wait a minute!
Shimura-san, you're looking at me every week!
I usually cut my hair.
Shimura-san, you know...
What?
If you were a man, you'd be braver!
Why is it so thin?
Do you want me to stretch it out?
This is...
Go, go!
But as a senior in this world...
I think I have a lot of things to learn.
No, no, no...
I think so...
It's not like that, but...
How about that matter?
That matter is fine.
That matter is...
That's the only thing I don't like!
This looks-like problem.
Looks-ness!
This guy!
Restart!
You know, I don't like anything...
But I can't say any dirty jokes.
That's no good.
I'm not a comedian!
Sometimes I say "time's too good", you know?
At times like that, you have to spit out more poison!
It's disgusting to watch!
That's right.
Yeah, I want you to say "I like Agnes's d*ck".
Then I'll say...
Ah, Agnes, you've changed!
I don't think you've changed that much...
Pause!
You know...
I don't like the way this guy sings!
Shut up!
What do you like?
Chagi-san...
Chagi-san, you wear a hat a lot.
I do, don't I?
Yeah.
That's because...
Hats look good on you!
Chagi-san, you always wear a hat, don't you?
You like it, don't you?!
From what I see, Chagi-san is...
bald.
You hate me, don't you?
Yeah.
Ah, Dorigamu...
Ah!
Is that all you want?!
Well, this person just came up, but...
What did you say next?
This is terrible...
No, no, no, no, no...
I...
I hate you.
I'm not good at all.
Oh, really?
What do you hate about me?
The one in the middle, Ryu-chan...
It's not Ryu-chan!
I don't know a song of Dorigamu...
Well...
There aren't many people who can sing it.
Well...
It's like...
"Gottsuei Kanji no Kinyoubi" or something like that...
That kind of lame song is no good!
The title is bad!
What's with that "Gottsuei Kanji no Kinyoubi"?!
That's weird!
That's not your fault!
I don't know what kind of song this is...
Lack of data...
It's a lack of data, right?
It's always like that!
Even if you say it like that, there are fans like this!
Seriously!
Well...
There's no "on air" or anything like that, right?
If you raise your hand, I think you'll say "Merlin, are you gonna hit me?"
I won't say that!
Seriously! Seriously! Seriously!
Let's be honest!
Is there a fan of this person?
You!
I knew it! There is one!
(Laughter)
Right now...
(Horn)
You're advertising something, right?
(Laughter)
Flying, flying!
Even when you're flying, your face!
(Laughter)
Flying, flying...
Your face looks like...
like a boar, doesn't it?
(Laughter)
When you're flying...
(Laughter)
What are you doing, you idiot!
I'm really going to get in trouble for this.
I'm really going to get in trouble!
I'm scared!
We're in trouble. Today we're back with a new song.
Shut up.
It's really tough.
What's tough?
No, what's tough?
What's tough?
Well, a lot of things are tough.
Don't you have to work hard?
Why do you say that?
What's tough?
I don't know what's tough.
It's still cold, isn't it?
It was cold today for sure.
It was cold today.
If you think about it, it's almost cold in a year, isn't it?
No, it's not like that.
Why do you say that?
It's almost cold in a year, isn't it?
It's because of the season.
When I was a kid, there was a season.
Spring, summer, autumn and winter.
I thought it was divided into four parts.
But it's not like that.
Half of it is cold.
It's been cold since October.
Ten, eleven, twelve, one, two and three.
Look, it's been six months.
Half of it is cold in a year.
It's because you say it's cold every year.
Half of it is cold in a year...
What are you talking about?
When I was a kid, I used to think about it.
What did you think about?
I used to think about comedy.
How did you think about comedy?
You used to do it with only men.
Yes, I did.
You want to do it again, don't you?
No, only young men.
Only young men.
Even if you think about it again, you can't smile, can you?
Because there are many couples these days.
It's annoying.
It's annoying, isn't it?
Why is it like that?
Why do you think like that?
Do you think we're outcasts?
Why?
It has Michael Jackson in it, doesn't it?
Did you buy it when you came to see it at ABEC?
You used to do a project with 1,000 people, didn't you?
Do you still do it?
It's getting warmer and warmer.
I see.
I've been thinking about it.
What is it?
"Downtown Pureland".
"Puroland"?
You can't say that word.
Dantan and Puroland?
Yes, yes, yes.
Somewhere in a remote area.
There must be stuffed animals or something like that.
Yes, yes, yes.
What kind of characters are there in Dantan and Puroland?
Like, Machan, Hamachan...
Stuffed animals...
Like, Kitty-chan or something like that.
Like this?
Like this.
We don't move like that!
Like this.
There's a lot of things to think about.
What about rides?
There's also magic carpets and stuff like that.
Oh...
Well, you and me holding boards like this...
And everyone else coming in like this...
Like martial arts...
No, no, no.
Amateurs don't do martial arts.
There's also that, right?
Like, looking at the screen like this...
Yes, yes, yes.
What is it?
Like "Star Tours".
Like "Star Tours"!
We do that.
In Akichi?
No, that's usually...
There's a screen.
Yes, yes, yes.
How do you do it in Akichi?
Like, we do it as amateurs.
If you think about it a little, you'll understand.
Like, there's a lot of scenes where we cut out scenes from amateurs.
And we show it on a big screen.
Scenes we couldn't broadcast?
We show scenes we couldn't broadcast on a big screen...
And a chair moves like this.
We don't need that!
It makes me sick!
I don't want to talk about it!
This is it!
"Matchan Experience" and "Hamadan Experience"!
What kind of experience is it?
Like, you see it, right?
How amateurs use it, right?
We're riding on "Matchan Experience"...
We're talking like this...
And if "Hamadan" hits you in the head...
It hits you from above...
You can see it from "Matchan"'s position.
That's true, but...
It's better for me to ride it, right?
If "Hamadan" hits you in the head...
You'll get beaten up!
What does that mean?
Is that how my life is?
Then you have your own way of doing it, right?
You put your hand like this...
And like this...
It's funny when you see it from a distance...
Everyone puts their hands like this...
And in downtown stores...
Well...
Downtown goods aren't very common, right?
That's another thing, you know?
Since we're at downtown stores...
There's a lot of...
How do you say it...
No additives...
No, it's vegetables...
Vegetables like that...
Vegetables without pesticides...
Like that...
Would you like to do it once?
It's a 1,000-person project, but you can come and play as much as you like.
If you want to come, please come.
That's right, that's right, that's right.
Because it's getting more and more like a magic carpet.
Just spinning it?
Can you enjoy it like that?
Of course you can enjoy it! You and me holding it like this like a tanker!
Well, it's about three people, though.
No, no, it's not like that! Isn't there something like this underneath?
Isn't there something like a release?
I'm riding it like a tanker.
It's not possible!
Why?
Can three people ride it?
It's possible, right?
It's impossible! It's impossible even for one person!
You don't have any strength, you know?
You don't have this much strength, you know?
I don't, but...
You don't have any grip, you know? Do you want to try it?
Do you want to try it like this?
You don't have any grip at all!
Why? Why is your face like...
You don't have any grip at all!
You're way too fast!
You don't have much grip, you know? I'm getting angry!
You don't have any grip at all! You should ride it more like a sports club.
You don't have any grip at all, you know?!
What is that?!
Oh, you're angry because you don't have any strength, you know?
I'm getting angry!
You don't have any grip at all!
You don't have any grip at all, you know?
You don't have any grip at all!
There's a rumor that I should join a sports club.
What?
A sports club.
What do you do?
My writer, Takasu, calls it "scash show".
When I start scashing, do you want to join me for a scash show?
Sure.
If I scash for half an hour, get really good and become like Fuji Tatsuya...
That's only up to the casters, Fuji Tatsuya.
Then do you want to scash with me for real?
Sure.
This time's punishment game is tough.
Have you decided yet?
No, this time we'll do skydiving without parachutes.
If anything happens, I'll die.
If everything goes well.
If anything happens, I'll die.
I'll die without parachutes.
If anything happens to you...
I'll die.
This is a battle, right?
Yeah.
You want to do it, Takasu?
Do you want me to do it?
Go ahead.
It's a real battle.
I don't care.
Why are you mad at me?
I won't bite you, so just throw it at me!
Well, well, well. I have to keep this short.
Or it'll be a big problem.
It's a pleasure.
A pleasure.
Thank you.
Do you have a prank or something like that?
Hmm...
I don't...
I changed my number again.
Oh, your phone number.
Your phone number is...
I don't care!
I don't care.
Right?
I can't help it.
Even if I say "Uraaah!" to my phone...
I really want to go in there.
But even if I go in there, it's wobbly.
It's noisy.
I don't care about that.
I'll probably get drunk there.
And you know, in the past...
In the past, I'd say "Uraaah!" and...
I'd say "Gaaah!" and...
And I'd still get there with that "Gaaah!"
But now, I can't do that.
I say "Uraaah!" and...
Ka-cha!
You know...
You have to put it in there properly.
I don't have a place to put it in.
My coquette is like...
It's like this, you know?
Right, right, right.
It's bent.
And it's like this.
Right, right, right.
Uraaah!
It's bent.
You know...
What?
I'm bowing!
You know, when I get home...
You know, I put something in front of the door.
I put a porn video in there the other day.
I'm happy about that.
I don't know if I'm happy about that, but...
Not at all.
What was in it?
The last porn video of a woman.
I put something in there.
Just look at it.
Ka-cha!
Well, I did watch it, but I couldn't help it!
You know, if you're watching this on TV and you're going to keep repeating this, I have my own ideas.
Don't do that! You're in trouble!
- If I do that... - What will you do?
- I'm sure you're going to put a lot of pressure on me... - Oh, you mean this bag?
- I'm sure you're going to put a lot of pressure on me... - I'm sure you're going to put a lot of pressure on me!
Ka-cha!
- Oh, this is a bit different from the one before... - Oh, is it?
Why is the phone cord not straight, but curled up?
- Now that you mention it... - It's like a wiretap.
- What do you mean "wiretap"? Let's ban broadcasting! - No! It's an electric wiretap!
- I was scared of electric wiretaps... - Why!? Why!?
- Electric wiretaps... - I'm scared of them!
- Don't say "wiretaps" like that!
- Can you put some air in it? - Wait, wait, wait!
It's an electric pair of scissors! Why do you need a pair of scissors?
Why do you need a vacuum cleaner? If you push it, it goes "shururun"!
That's weird, too.
- It's convenient, right? - It's convenient, but it's not convenient.
- Why? - I can't get used to it. I've been using it for about a year and it goes "shururun"!
If you push it a little more, it goes "shururun"!
No way! I can't put it in like this!
You should be honest about that!
Well, it's fine. But why is it "shururun"?
- Why is it "shururun"? - This is my plan for NTT.
- What do you mean? - I'm trying to get a little more phone money.
- I see, I see. - If we're in direct contact, we don't spend much phone money, right?
- Yes. - But if we're at a distance like this, we spend a little more phone money.
With that code...
With just one code like that, you can make a phone call?
Yes, you can.
So, normally, when you say "hello", you say "hello", right?
You say "hello", right?
But if you say "hello"...
At this point, it costs about 20 yen.
This NTT's strategy, you're the only one who can say it.
Idiot!
Even now, there are a lot of phone functions.
It's getting complicated. I can't keep up with it anymore.
What do you mean?
Teleportation...
I've thought about it.
An opportunity to prevent prank calls.
It's a little complicated, but...
You can make a teleportation call, right?
Yes, yes.
So, for example, NTT in Japan will rent an apartment in Brazil.
Wait a minute!
Say it again from the beginning.
Say what?
NTT...
NTT will rent an apartment in Brazil!
Rent an apartment...
Normally, if NTT people go to Brazil, they won't have a problem finding a hotel, right?
Yes...
Employees...
That's nice...
What are you saying?
Go anywhere!
Even if you don't...
Even if you don't go to Brazil, that's nice, right?
As a light-hearted idiot, I can't let you go.
Even if you go to Brazil...
Even if you go to Brazil, it's light, right?
For example, you can make a prank call to me, right?
Yes, yes...
I'll make it a delivery call.
And I'll send it to Brazil.
Yes, yes...
Then, the person who made the prank call will be in Brazil!
That's amazing!
Even if you talk for five minutes, it'll be something like "what's up?"
Yes, yes...
Wouldn't this prevent a prank call?
At that time, I said "Hey, hey, hey, what color are your panties?"
"What color are your panties?" was 2,800 yen.
It's more expensive than panties!
After a wedding, you often see two people riding in a car,
but what is the empty can behind the car?
Why do you put an empty can behind the car?
There is a whisper like that.
You must have made a mistake.
You definitely didn't put it there.
You definitely didn't put it there!
It's not me! It's someone else!
I'm not someone with that kind of power!
What kind of person are you?!
Why is it an empty can?
Everyone, do you know the saying "When the wind blows, the grass grows"?
It goes around and goes there.
Therefore, marriage is happiness.
Happiness is an empty can.
Everyone just laughed.
Of course you laugh.
Why is happiness an empty can?
What is Matsu-chan saying?!
Why is it an empty can?!
Answer me!
What is Matsu-chan saying?!
That's enough!
There are various people watching.
So, happiness is an empty can.
Why are you saying "no"?
Happiness is a dream.
A dream is night.
Night is...
Night is dark.
Dark is a ghost.
A ghost is scary.
Scary is an empty can.
A dream is night.