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The first episode of "Gaki no Tsukai" is airing now!
Today we're using a special club.
Is it still a golf club?
I think someone will get hurt.
I'm sure of it.
Let me show you something.
It's a special club!
Our president.
Our director.
You have long sleeves.
You have similar feet.
You cut too much.
You say "meow" a lot.
Do I say it?
"Meow"!
I don't think it's a human voice.
It goes up high.
Dolphins are gathering.
Is this okay?
Tama is number one.
This is no good.
Let's go!
It's an OB.
I'm sorry!
It's an OB!
Tama, your ball is too high.
Is it?
Let's go with this.
It's okay.
Let's go with this.
This is good.
Let's go!
This is...
I don't think it's a human voice.
Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!
Wait! It's too dangerous!
One, two, three...
Wow!
Don't fly away! Don't fly away!
What if I slice you?
OK? One, two, three...
Oh!
Wow!
It's human voice!
I have decided not to think about it.
Let's go to the same club.
I can't do it.
Buy me a phone, don't bully me.
Let's do it again.
Let's do it again, but with a straight face.
With a straight face?
This is the funniest ball in the world.
One, two...
What are you talking about?
Hey!
It's too late. Let's do it with a straight face.
Let's do it with a straight face.
One, two...
Ouch!
I saw you.
Why can't you do it?
Because I'm a straight face.
You've come a long way.
Let's change the ball.
You've come a long way.
I bought this at Nikigolf.
Hey!
It's too late.
I'm sorry.
I can't do it.
The game is over.
Yes.
We can't go back to the club.
They weren't as impatient as we thought.
Let's send them back to the club.
Yes.
I've prepared a delivery for you.
Thank you very much.
Drink it.
Thank you.
Oh, I see. I'm a little older now.
You used to be over 18 years old.
No, I'm not over 18 now.
Oh, really?
Yes.
How old are you now?
I'm over 20 years old now.
What? You're 21 years old now!
You're getting older and older!
The age limit is getting higher and higher.
It's like an adult atmosphere.
What's going on?
That's the proof. After you're done with chasing girls...
I don't chase girls anymore!
When I'm in love, I'm lonely and lonely!
When I'm not chasing girls, I don't chase girls at all!
I'm like Gardman's older brother.
You don't like it?
I'm like Monang's "Hurry up and go home!"
It's fine, you know.
But like you said, you have to get older.
How old do you want me to be?
It's a show, so you need to have a young laugh.
That's right.
You have to laugh like this.
I see. So you've started at 21 years old...
Well, 21 years old is a bit...
What about me?
I mean, people older than me are no good.
Of course! Of course!
I mean, if I go up, the show will go up...
Of course! Of course! You're 29 years old.
I'm 29 years old.
What's the limit?
The current limit is 29 years old.
Right?
Yes.
Then you're...
You're over 50 years old!
You're not that old, are you?
I'm 60 years old.
You're 60 years old!
Anyway, let's go to school.
Really?
Who are you talking about?
What's new?
What do you mean?
Michael Jackson is still around.
What do you mean?
Will he come in December?
I don't know.
Will Michael Jackson come in December?
Maybe he's sick and can't come.
Other than his sick face?
He's different.
He's weird.
When he came to Japan, I think he hated cigarettes.
He borrowed all the baths in the hotel.
He even changed the wallpapers in the hallway.
He said he smelled cigarettes.
In his room...
He's stupid!
No, he's stupid!
Before he came and sold cigarettes, what did he do?
Before he sold cigarettes, he was ugly.
His nose was like...
Don't say that!
I can't stand it!
You can't stand it?
I can't stand it!
He changed his face and everything.
When he came to Japan, he brought monkeys.
Monkeys stink!
If you can't stand it, stuff it in your nose!
This plastic nose!
And...
He likes amusement parks.
He's stupid!
In his house...
Do you know his house?
He has a roller coaster!
Amazing!
What?
In his house!
If you don't put it in, it won't work no matter what you do!
If you don't put it in, it means it's in here.
- In this building. - That's right.
- You'll buy it no matter what you do! - No, I've heard of it.
- Who said it? - Everyone said it.
- Who said it? - The neighbors' mothers.
- What a house you've got there. - You're strange.
- No, he's strange. His hair style is different. - That's why you can do whatever you like.
- That's why you could change your face like that. - You're such a monkey.
- Why? - Why are you so small?
- While you were singing, you dropped your nose.
Don't look for me. Bye-bye.
- Do you think there are more beautiful girls or ugly girls? - You don't have to ask me about it.
- What do you mean? - For example, in Osaka, we have more beautiful girls.
Beautiful girls come here. Beautiful men come here. They get married here. They have children here. They grow up here. They grow up here.
- In that sense, in general, we have more beautiful girls and ugly girls. - I see.
- However, ugly girls come from far away. - You know, like a beautiful wife who was killed by someone.
- Like a beautiful wife who was killed by someone. - You're right. She's not beautiful at all.
- I've said it before. She's ugly. - She's ugly.
- She's ugly and stupid. - If you say that again, you'll lose your job.
- You're right. - I've been born 29 years ago.
- I've never seen such a beautiful wife. - Me, too.
- Ugly girls are ugly girls. - Why?
- Because they're small and ugly. - You're right.
- Look at those tires! - I know!
- If you get fined like this, you'll go to school again, won't you? - You're so ugly!
- I used to cry a lot back in the day. - Excuse me, isn't this a parking violation?
- I'm sorry about that. - I'm sorry about that too.
- But you're making such an ugly face!
- Are you going to file a complaint here? - You're so ugly!
- I know, right?
- I know. - You won't say it out loud. - No, I won't.
- I'm sure you're ugly.
- For example, you were the scariest one to get fined today.
- You were trembling. - Yes, I was trembling.
- You were looking at me like this. - I think you're pretty good-looking.
- What do you say?
- Wow! I can't help but look you in the eye!
- You know...
- The more you look behind you, the more amazing things you see.
- It's not just ugly beauties, but if you look behind you, you can't even tell what kind of people they are.
- This is why you get fined.
- We can't really tell.
- I know.
- Don't look me in the eye!
- You're right.
- I'm sure men are better at this.
- Women say men are ugly, but...
- No, I think there are a lot of handsome men out there.
- But I don't think there are any pretty women.
- Why do you say that?
- I don't think so.
Do you still see handsome men and beautiful women as a couple?
Now, handsome men are dating ugly women.
Oh, really? Why?
Because men have a higher level of communication and women have a lower level of communication.
I'm serious!
I've seen quite a lot of contrasting patterns.
Good women dating ugly men.
I've seen quite a lot of contrasts like that.
So there weren't many people who said they were a nice couple.
Well, you know, Okawa Hiromi and Todoh...
I don't think they're a nice couple!
You're a nice couple!
I'm not a nice couple!
What are you thinking about?
What?
Todoh and you are a perfect match!
You're a perfect match!
What are you talking about?
You're a nice couple!
I don't think they're a nice couple.
Men say they're a nice couple, but they're definitely on a higher level of communication.
Women are slowly losing it.
They don't think they're bad at all.
I'd like you all to think about it.
Now, my sister is working hard for the entertainment industry.
In the past, she used to say, "If you don't have sex with that president, I'll shoot you."
Does that still happen now? Please tell me the truth.
That's what my sister thinks.
I think that's what my sister thinks.
Does that still happen now?
I don't know.
Even if you're an idol, if you don't have sex with the president, you won't be pushed.
Does that still happen?
I've never heard of it.
It used to happen a lot in the past, didn't it?
Yes.
You know, it was selling well.
Think about it, everyone.
It was selling well, but all of a sudden...
You know, like a person who suddenly fell down.
It's pretty...
It's been a long time since people refused to fire their bosses.
I see. I see.
There are people like that.
There are.
What?
For example, Ishidate Tetsuo.
What?
Um...
He's happy and laughing.
Why is your earwax sweet?
My nose itches.
Why is your nose itching but your earwax is spicy?
You must be thinking about this a lot.
If my nose itches, does it mean it itched?
No, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Has anyone ever eaten an earwax before?
What?
How? What do you mean?
An earwax comes off and it's pretty...
It's a good thing.
Do you wear it and eat it?
No, no, no.
Even as a child?
No, no, no.
Don't you eat it?
No, no, no.
An earwax...
Does everyone eat an earwax?
Don't you eat it?
You guys are getting on my nerves.
That's not true!
Look, I ate an earwax!
I ate it, didn't I?
You guys are annoying me.
Why do you eat it?
Um...
I want to ask you something here.
When you don't have anything to throw away...
You can't throw it away.
Wouldn't it be dirtier to throw it under a chair?
If you do...
If you throw it under a chair...
Eat it up the day before yesterday!
That's enough!
What are you talking about?
Of course I am!
Dirty? It's not like you made it or anything.
It's still fresh. Why do you have to eat it like that?
You're a public person.
Hurry up and eat it up. Are you fine with that?
Fine? I've put on a lot of stuff!
No, no, no...
No, no, no!
I don't like it at all!
I've never seen anything like it!
Dirty? It's not like you made it or anything.
You know, you take off your socks in the summer...
And you rub it between your fingers...
It smells, doesn't it?
I've never seen anything like it!
You know what I mean, right?
I guess you could say that.
You know what I mean, right?
If you know what I mean, you should eat it up.
No, I don't think so.
You take off your panties and poop and it smells, doesn't it?
What are you talking about?
It doesn't smell, doesn't it?
I think it smells, doesn't it?
You take off your panties and poop and it smells, doesn't it?
I'm 100% sure it smells!
You know when it smells, don't you?
You know when you go to the bathroom and you can't wipe it off?
It smells like that, doesn't it?
But you take off your panties and poop and it smells all day long, doesn't it?
You know what I mean, right?
You just got home.
I'm home.
You'll enjoy it for a little while.
You know what I mean, right?
Of course I do!
You do, don't you?
Of course I do, but...
...you don't really poop in your everyday life, do you?
I don't know about that.
You know what I mean, right?
I usually poop about once or twice.
What?!
You only poop twice?!
Yeah, I only poop twice.
You poop once, right?
That means you've got poop all over you.
The first time, he was amazing, too.
He was amazing, too.
And the second time, you pooped a little bit.
You pooped a little bit.
Does that mean you'll poop again?
That means you'll poop again, but you'll poop first, right?
You'll poop first, right?
I know you'll poop again.
I'm done with you.
What?!
Poop!
I'm done with you.
What are you talking about?
I'm done with you.
Idiot!
You're one more step ahead of me.
You'll poop again, right?
It's not good to poop too much.
So you want me to poop again?
I don't want you to poop again.
You're making me worried.
Right?
I know you're worried.
Science technology is advancing.
A while ago, a shuttle that you were in was launched.
I'm living in such an amazing era,
but why do I still get calls?
I don't know why I can still talk to people thousands of miles away.
I can't even imagine faxes anymore.
Am I living in such an era?
I see.
You're right.
There aren't many people who can explain it like you.
It was amazing.
A while ago, I saw thousands of calls in one telephone line on TV.
Yes.
They were connected like this.
They were doing something like that.
Yes, they were.
But that's not all.
Yes.
No, no, no.
Hello?
How do you say "hello" in that line?
I don't know.
Then you don't know.
Do you know?
I know.
It's a dream.
Can I say it? Can I say it? Can I say it?
I don't know.
Wake up. Wake up.
It's a dream.
It's a dream of a man called Bell in the past.
It's a dream of a man who made it.
I'll tell you from now on.
It's hard to understand.
It's a dream of a man called Bell in the past.
That's about it.