AISubs v3.5
Ladies and gentlemen...
Hey, Shou!
What's up?
Yeah, what's up?
I was talking about school earlier.
Yeah.
Um... this is bad.
What?
I'm already twenty...
This September, I'll be twenty-nine years old.
What's going on?
I'm already twenty-nine years old!
You're too old!
When we were elementary school students, we said "twenty-eight, nine," and...
You thought you were completely old, didn't you?
I'm an adult now.
You're an adult, huh?
But now, at this age, at that age, you think you haven't changed at all, don't you?
That's right, that's right. My feelings, you know?
Your feelings, huh?
That's why, when I was in elementary school, I never thought I'd be thirty or something like that.
That's right, if you were older than that...
You definitely didn't think you would, did you?
I'm older now!
You're older now!
You and your...
No, really...
That's fine and all, but...
No, at this age...
You really have to be careful, don't you?
It's coming, it's coming, it's coming...
It's coming!
It's coming, it's coming... Look, it's already coming...
Look, it's already coming...
You're old, aren't you?!
I'm old, aren't you?!
You're saving something, aren't you?
Like, you won't eat anything for a few hours now.
Oh...
That's...
You won't take any water, right?
Hmm...
You know...
That's what I think!
But to be honest...
You shouldn't eat anything for about five hours before you go to sleep!
Oh, is that so?
It's true!
Oh, is that so?
You can't do that!
What? You're starting to...
You're starting to...
You're going home, aren't you?!
You know...
You should go to sleep already!
You know...
He's like "Khhh", but you know...
No way! No way!
But you know...
You just want to rip his skin off!
You want to cut his belly off!
You just want to rip his skin off!
It's a waste!
It's a waste...
You know...
When you say "pelo"
You get "age" again!
Koi! Koi!
Kamo! Kamo!
Age!
Kah!
Pibii!
Oh, well...
The devil is really good at doing things.
I'm at my limit now. If I get any fatter than this, I have to quit this world.
You have to quit because there's no sharpness in your controls.
There's no sharpness in your movements.
That's right.
It's like...
It's like this.
What kind of control do you use for that movement?
No, no, when something happens...
It's like this! This area used to be like this in the past!
It's like this in the past!
There's no such thing anymore!
Oh, I see.
It's not like me.
But you can't get any fatter than this!
It's the same when you're eating in the middle of the night, but...
I want to move my body!
What are you doing? Are you pulling me in?
You're disgusting!
I'm not pulling you in! I'm normal!
This is stupid! Let me do it!
Is it coming out?
It's not coming out!
You're so...
You're so soft!
Why do I have such a beautiful silhouette?
Wait, wait!
Why do you move like this?
You're always like this when you're acting cool!
Your face doesn't look happy either!
I'm still handsome!
No, you're not happy! You're fat!
You can't hold your breath!
No one can hold their breath like you!
Middle-aged man's breath...
Is there such a thing?!
Have you ever heard of middle-aged man's breath?!
I said middle-aged man's breath!
Middle-aged man's breath!
If you say middle school student's breath, I don't know!
Middle-aged man's breath!
Middle-aged man's second semester's breath!
Why?!
Why do you say it until second semester's breath?!
It's about human, isn't it?
It's like this...
Your weight changes, doesn't it?
It changes in such a short period of time...
If you say things like that...
But old woman, you're not good-looking!
You're not good-looking!
You're a middle-aged woman! You're amazing!
I'm not that bad!
Hey, you're already whispering in this area!
What are you whispering about?!
You shouldn't say anything in a place like this!
It's hot...
It's tough...
In Osaka's middle-aged women,
they don't like it when it's hot in summer.
It's like this, isn't it?
They don't like it when it's hot in summer.
It's like this, isn't it?
It's tough, isn't it?!
It's irresistible!
From the side, they're like "Daddy, it's hot!"
They're like "Daddy, it's hot!"
And then...
Um...
Old woman, you're not good-looking!
Daddy, it's hot!
Old woman, you're not good-looking!
And then, in the middle of the field, they're singing!
It's like this, isn't it?
Really, really.
Right?
Yeah.
It's annoying to think about it.
No, it's really amazing!
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
But, you know, young people are like that, aren't they?
They're like that, aren't they?
Aren't they?
From now on, even in the summer...
Since when did it become like that?
What do you mean? What do you mean?
Since when did it become like that?
No, I mean, you know, there are cities where you can look around, right?
I don't know when it became like that.
Yeah.
I wonder how old people are now, right?
Yeah.
Forty-somethings, I don't know, but...
You know, you've been avoiding it all this time, haven't you?
You know, there's a return to it.
Yeah.
Until now...
You know...
As a young man...
I... I wanted to go.
Well, you've been removed from it, haven't you?
I've been removed from it, so...
It's... It's fine now.
It's fine now.
You can do whatever you like.
Right? Until now, I've been suppressed by compulsory education, so...
It's super strong, you know?
If this was fire, wouldn't it fly away?
It's super strong.
It's amazing.
It's like a jet airplane
If there were black socks, would you match them with this?
I'd like to see it.
Something terrible is going to happen.
Yes, recently I haven't been home for two days.
You haven't been home for two days?
No.
You know, I've locked the electricity box.
I've been beaten up about three times.
I think I know what I'm doing.
You've been victimized.
I've been beaten up a lot.
But you don't like it when people see you like that, do you?
No, no, of course I don't like it. I really don't like it.
Oh, you don't like it when people see you like that, do you?
But they know I'm coming this way, and they open the door, kill me and wait for me.
Why do you do that?
And when I open the door, they open it and wait for me. They're absolutely right. It's weird!
I forgot to lock the door, I forgot to lock the door.
Normally, when you go to the bathroom, you do one of these and one of these.
I can't forget it. I do it all at once and it's been like that for about a day.
It's been like that for about a day, hasn't it?
You want me to give you a live performance?
Oh, you want me to give you a live performance?
You know, when you go home...
You know, I've got quite a bit of income.
Can I take a cigarette with me?
I don't want that kind of egg. It's coming in a car.
It's coming in a car, so you won't throw it away?
It comes like this in a newspaper, and I can't carry about ten of them.
You're a strategist, aren't you?
I don't want that kind of thing! I'll throw it away!
Why is that?
So I get in the car and go like this.
Hitoshi!
What do you want?
Run!
I'll carry the egg for you.
You're a young beast!
The radar goes "pion, pion"
Young beast!
It's like it's chasing you!
Wait!
Wait and "pion, pion"!
That's weird! Why doesn't the radar react?
Suddenly, you're a young beast!
Don't run away!
Poor thing.
Is there such a thing as "poor thing"?
Don't you think they're acting a little?
I'll let you know a little.
I'm sure you'll think so.
I'm pretty busy these days.
I call home every month.
Oh, I see.
Telephone?
Telephone, telephone.
I call home, and if I forget, I get a call.
I want a lot of money from them.
They sell their bodies for money.
Who's going to buy it?
So, are you busy?
I want to talk about money right now, but I can't say it.
Don't think about it.
How is it recently?
You don't want to talk about it, do you?
No, no, no.
Usually, my mother calls me once in a while and says, "Ah, yes, yes."
This "Ah, yes, yes" is what she thinks of me.
Didn't you have any money today?
No, no, mother, it's okay, but if you do it again, put it in.
Who do you think you are?
What are you talking about?
I don't know. Are you crazy?
In Amagasaki, my family lives in Amagasaki.
There are a lot of things that have changed.
What do you do with the shopping district you've had so far?
Yes, yes.
You build a station building like a station building, don't you?
You're doing construction now, aren't you?
You've got a bulldozer in there.
And the other day, you sent me a letter.
I don't know.
And there's a picture in there.
I looked at it and there was a picture of a bulldozer going like this.
Is the city like this now?
The rain will change, too.
What are you doing?
You've changed a lot.
I feel sorry for you. I'm about to cry.
He's angry.
Why?
Did you put that in the dressing room on purpose?
What do you call it?
Anti-seizure drug.
What do you call it now?
It's like Yunkel.
We're all drinking together.
You can't get in the dressing room like this.
You can't get in there.
Get in there!
Go home!
I feel sorry for you.
Go home!
I feel sorry for you.
You can't get in there like this.
Poor guy.
He's weird.
When we were filming outside in Osaka, a lot of people came up to us and said "Please don't push me! Please don't push me!"
And they all pushed me and said "Wow! Machan! Machan! Please don't push me!"
But I didn't have any of that in my hands.
No! It was a battle! A battle!
Why is it different?!
I was like this and I was like this and I was talking to the camera like this...
We were filming, right?!
I was like this and I was like this and I was talking to the camera like this...
I died in the rain. The P.K.O. Act was abolished.
The Prime Minister was killed in the Earth Environment Summit.
Mr. Itami Juzo also died.
How are you doing today, Machan and Hama-chan?
By the way, I have a big question for me, who looks at the world every day, and I can't sleep at night every day, so I will ask you a question.
At the end of "Dekabitashi", what does Miura Kazu do?
Oh, that!
That's also...
How do you say it?
Parabola!
Parabola! I can hear you!
What was it? Parabola, right?
Not "bobola"!
Something like that.
What is that, really?!
I'm not saying it for that reason.
Really? For me...
"Dekabitashi"!
Don't say it!
I'm not saying it at all.
No, no, that's...
What?
What did you say?
"Parabola" or "bobola" or something like that.
Really?!
Yes.
If I get it right, I'll do it again!
Is that so?
Well, does anyone know about this?
Yeah.
Do you want me to tell you about it?
Yeah.
Does anyone really know about it?
There is a commercial that makes you angry, right?
Yeah.
This is also not a commercial I like very much, though.
Oh, is that so?
Yeah.
The commercial that makes me angry the most is...
That foreign guy, Shiba Kitanai.
That... guy.
Chicago...
You know...
Recently...
You should have stopped him at Chicago recently, but what's up with you?
Don't you understand what I'm saying?
Are you in a good mood?
I'm in a good mood.
So, if you say something different, it will be funny again.
Is that stupid?
Where is the company?
That... where is it?
Huh?
What's that?
Where is this "arashiru"?
Should we call that foreign guy?
There are two Shibas.
It has nothing to do with making fun of me.
Try saying "Chicago".
Huh?
Try saying "Chicago".
Try saying it.
"Chicago"!
Last week...
I called him recently, but...
In Yoshimoto Industry, we call him "Hamane-san".
Hamane-san's house is near my grandmother's house, but...
Normally, Hamane-san doesn't appear on TV, so...
As someone who has a grandmother who lives in the same area as me, I'm very worried.
Where is Hamane-san and what is he doing now?
That's...
The reason is...
Where is the reporter?
Where is he?
That Hamane...
Find out where Hamane is.
Today, I'm calling Hamane-kun here!
Hamane-kun's...
Super first-class gag.
What was it again?
Bikkuri kurikuri kurikuri
This is...
Live!
And...
This guy...
I'm only talking about Hamane-kun right now, but Hamane-kun is doing a manzai with a woman in Osaka right now.
That's right, that's right.
And today...
He came out...
With a story!
Yes!
To ask for everyone's well-being!
To ask...
It's a motive for us.
A motive, yes.
You thought about it, didn't you?
That song is Hamane-kun's "Junichinen" (Ten Years)?
That's right.
"Miki" is like that too.
Well, I don't think you're all familiar with it in Tokyo...
But I don't think you're familiar with it in Osaka...
Don't say it like that!
But!
I'm sure you're going to go crazy from this show, right?
Are we going?
Aren't we going?
Well, it depends on today's reception.
Ah, I see.
It depends on today's customers!
With warm eyes!
Do you have a title?
Do you have a title? Ask me.
Do you have a title for a story?
You shouldn't ask me!
What is it?
I don't know!
What is it?
What kind of title is it?
Full throttle, boom!
For now, shall we give it up?
Yes.
After this, we'll listen to a little bit of manzai.
Smile for me.
Thank you very much!
Thank you very much.
That was a great introduction.
My name is Hamane-kun and I'm from Yoshimoto Industry.
- That's right. - I'm from Osaka.
- Look at her. - Yes.
She's ugly but she still has a beautiful face.
- Do you think so? - Yes, she does have a beautiful face.
But she still has some flaws in her face.
- Flaws? - The gap between her eyes is too big.
- That's a shame. - That's a shame.
- If you stick your face together again... - I won't.
- You won't be beautiful. - I won't.
- I'm sorry. My mom is a flounder. - What?
- My dad is a octopus. - I'm a monster.
- What? - You're wrong.
- You're not human either. - What?
- When will you ever put on eyeliner like this? - Eyebrows?
- What is this? - Eyebrows are expensive.
- You're so stubborn. - It's hard, isn't it?
- Is it hard? - Yes, eyebrows are very Okinawan.
- What? - What is this?
- I'm sorry. - What is it?
- I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.
- Next time. - We've dressed up.
- Right?
- I may look like I'm wearing a casual suit... - Right?
- But I'm dressed up. - Right.
- In my case, I'm dressed up where you can't see me. - You're dressed up.
- Look below me. - What?
- This is white. - White?
- This is my skin color. - Your skin color?
- What? - Your skin color?
- What is it? It's red, isn't it? - Where did you get it from?
- I'm sorry. - What?
- Next one. - It's true.
- When we were on TV in Tokyo... - Red, red, red.
- We thought, "Why are we wearing red?" - That's right.
- It was strange, but we couldn't help it. - We were wondering why we were wearing red.
- But when we woke up this morning and saw it on TV... - Right.
- We were so happy, so happy. - Right. We were happy.
- We were so happy.
Thank you for everything you've done for us.
Thank you.
That's right.
I'm glad.
You're such a good customer.
We sold a lot in Tokyo, didn't we?
Yes, we did.
But there are elements that make you sell.
For example, you have a strong personality.
Or you have a sharp sensibility.
Or you have a gag that makes you laugh.
Like...
I see you came all the way from Osaka to do this.
So, first gag of you, Tamane.
It's a gag when you're surprised.
You surprised me!
Did I?
You surprised me!
You're funny, too.
You're not only funny but also funny, right?
Amazing!
Right?
You're the most popular one.
What are you saying?
You're a fool.
That's right.
Next one.
Next one, let's go with this pace.
This is the second gag of Hamane-kun.
This time, it's a nervous gag.
Hamane-san, five minutes before the show!
What? Five minutes before the show?
I haven't been on TV that much, but I'm nervous.
My head just landed here and there.
What's wrong with you?
What? What? What?
Please calm down.
Calm down. Calm down.
Um...
Come here. Come here, Anna.
Um... Come here, Anna.
Jump into my hot heart and come here.
Um... Um...
Um... It doesn't matter, but the front trunk is open.
Really?
It's not open, is it?
Are you surprised?
What?
Are you surprised?
I'm surprised!
Surprised, surprised, surprised.
This is...
Thank you!
You guys are too funny!
I can't stand it!
I'll drag you from here to Tokyo.
I'll drag you until your arms are torn!
Why are you laughing over there?
What's with you?
If there's a counterattack...
I won't call for it!
Really?
Yeah, I have about...
30 cards.
If we get 30 cards...
30 cards?
Well...
I'll let you know...
the results later.
Whether it's valid or not.
Send me 30 cards!
30 cards is nothing!
If you send me 30 cards...
I'll be surprised!
Really surprised!