AISubs v3.5
What is it? Don't you know how to use it?
The first "Don't you know how to use it?" Sunday shock special.
Chikichiki! This is the magic of the world!
Tonight, they have come all the way from China.
Now, let me introduce them.
Sensei, please!
Nice to meet you.
Yes, it's fine.
- It's shiny. - Yes, it's fine.
- Your nose is running? - Yes, well...
The studio was hot.
After eating something hot, you get a runny nose.
I think it's like that.
I see.
"Don't you know how to use it?" Sunday shock special
I want to see your magic once in my life.
- This grass wall... - What?
- You call it "grass wall"? - I call it "grass wall Akira".
- From China? - Yes.
- Aren't you alone today? - My disciple is here with me.
What is this? Does it have anything to do with magic?
- Is that what you call it? - Well...
- Part of it. - Part of it.
- Let's see it. - For example...
Wonderful!
- Are you angry? - No.
Wonderful!
Wow!
- Are you angry? - No. Wonderful!
- Next, this disciple... - Yes.
- What do you call it? Human pump... - Yes.
- He is doing it. - What did you say about this technique?
- What do you call it? - Fujiyama.
- Fujiyama.
- Fujiyama will... - Yes.
- challenge... - What?
- this goldfish. - What?
- I hate it. - Fujiyama.
- Look, he is taking it off. - Yes.
- Look at his face. - Yes.
- He is putting it in his mouth. - Look!
- Isn't it good?
- He is desperate. - Isn't it good?
- He is desperate. - Yes.
- Right? - Yes.
- Next... - Yes.
- Next, me... - Me again?
- Don't do that. - Yes.
- Next... - Yes.
- This disciple... - This person?
- This person... - This person?
- Yes.
- Let me show you. - Yes.
- I will put it in my mouth. - Yes.
- I see. - Then...
- It is a little difficult. - I see.
- I will put it in my mouth, right? - Yes.
- Then... - What are you doing?
- Don't worry.
- I will lift it up.
Ouch!
It hurts a little, though.
- You said it. - Now!
- This is the main subject. - Yes.
- Let's go! - Yes.
Oh!
- Ouch! - Ouch!
- What are you doing? - Ouch!
- Ouch!
- He said it hurts! - Ouch!
- It doesn't hurt. - It doesn't hurt at all.
- He said it hurts. - He didn't say it hurts.
- It's wonderful! - Let's put it back. - Yes.
It's okay.
- Anyone can do it. - Oh, really?
- Only people like me can do it. - Oh, really?
- Why? Do you want to do it? - No, I'm okay with it.
- Let's do it. - With what?
- Yes, please. - No, I'm okay with it.
- What?
- No, I'm really okay with it. - No, I'm okay with it.
- It's not okay at all. I don't know anything. - No, it's okay.
- No, it's nothing. - No, it's nothing.
- Okay, let's do it! - What?
What are you going to do?
See? I got it!
- My neck hurts. - No, it's nothing.
- Are you sure? - Yes. - Okay, let's do it.
- What are you going to do? - No, I'm going to make it move.
- Are you okay? - Yes.
- Let's do it. - Put your hand in.
- It's weird. You can do it a little more. - That's right.
It hurts!
Do it!
[music]
That's enough!
[laughter]
[music]
Ladies and gentlemen...
Hello.
Well, come on.
Let's go.
It's already over.
No, I don't like this hall.
B-bomb statement!
There is no bomb statement.
It's gone.
What is this hall?
Kanda Panthe Hall.
Kanda Panthe...
What is it?
There it is!
Why Kanda Panthe?
What does it mean?
I don't know.
There is no bomb statement!
How do you name it?
How do you decide it?
I don't know.
It's like an apartment.
It's dirty.
Think about it.
It's like a prehub apartment.
Maison something.
It's empty.
What is it?
It's a wooden building.
What is it?
Yes, yes, yes.
What is it?
Gran...
Grantopia or something like that.
I don't know.
What is it?
In the opening of this program,
there is a dirty place in Yamazaki.
What is it?
Four sheets of sheet music.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's there, right?
Yes, yes.
What is it?
When you open the door, there is a car driving.
Yes, yes, yes.
It's like it's completed in half an hour.
What is it?
Sorenyu.
Sorenyu!
It's completely different!
I don't like it!
Sorenyu!
It's funny how you name it.
You don't even know the title of the program.
You're worried about it.
Yes, yes, yes.
What should we do with this new program?
You're thinking of a lot of useless titles.
Let's make a good country, downtown.
What is it?
Everyone will call it "sorenyu"!
It's funny how you say it.
That's right, that's right.
"Gaki no tsukai" was decided by someone else, wasn't it?
Like we said before, right?
Yes, we said it in our conversation.
Someone must have come up with the title "Gaki no tsukai" or "Ara hende"...
I don't like titles with Osaka dialect.
Oh, really?
The intonation is "I'm Gaki no tsukai Ara hende" but...
Did you watch 'Gaki no tsukai Ara hende' yesterday?
That's what people say.
So it's better if it's different.
I think Osaka dialect is better.
Is that so?
We used to do a tour.
A tour?
You guys know about it?!
It's funny!
You guys are really good at singing.
It's true!
And we appear in "Sinnet" too!
With the intro!
And we break it and come out!
I can't stand it!
I can't believe it!
It's true!
You don't know?!
I don't know.
You know, right?
Right? We said it like that, right?
The tour "Downtown 78" or something like that...
The title of the tour was "Fukudai ga tsuku" right?
And the subtitle was "I won't apologize!"
The title fell down and...
"From now on, "Downtown Tour 89"...
I won't apologize!
Damn, it's so cool!
It's cool, right?
That's why we need to think about the title a little more.
No, I'm not telling you to change the title of this show, either.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm not telling you to change it, but I'd like to call it "Shock Television Box".
How is it... recently?
Well, I'm a little tired now...
I'm talking a lot...
Huh?!
Oh, it's "Shock Television Box", right?
But you know what? From next year or so, we'll work even harder and it'll be the same.
Why?
Because we'll get all of the tax money.
Oh, I see.
You know, there are ordinary people...
Ordinary people... Comedians...
They think it's really cheap.
This is a good or bad story, you know?
Oh, I see.
They think it's really cheap.
Really.
They think it's really cheap.
That's why I think it doesn't even have a million yen a month.
Oh, I see.
See? He's tired now.
What?! Does that mean it doesn't have more than a million yen?!
That's what he thinks. That's what he thinks.
Right?!
Oh, I see.
That's why I think comedians are underestimating us!
If it's really cheap, do you think it'll be tied up or something?
Yeah, I guess you're right.
I can't believe you think it's really cheap.
I don't think it's that cheap!
If you think it's that cheap...
You'll wake up even more!
If it's really cheap...
What?!
I'll do it in a tank top!
I don't know what you're talking about!
What do you mean you don't know?!
No, no...
Why do you think it's cheap?!
No, no...
Sweat! Sweat! Sweat!
Ahhhh!
With that much sweat on your shoulders...
You'll do it while you're sweating!
I'll do it with that much!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Oh, I see!
Now I get it!
It's like, "Is it really expensive?"
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
It's not like it costs a fortune, but people think it's really cheap.
Oh, I see!
Yeah...
But Uchiai is a baseball player and he's the best.
But people say that you're more of a model or comedian than Uchiai.
People say that, right?
No, no...
That's right!
You guys are being underestimated for being comedians!
You guys think about it!
What's with that pig's upper body and all that?
I've never heard of anything like that!
What's with you?!
You're being thrown out of a stage like that!
Stop it!
Stop it, you!
What's with you?!
What's wrong with you?!
I agree with what you're saying!
What's wrong with you?!
Fukutoko Fever!
Uchiai!
Do your best!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
You...
Right?!
Yeah, yeah!
Even Yamazaki of Team Zero would say...
You're too old for this!
Do whatever you want!
There's no woman you can turn down!
There is!
If you make him say it, he'll say "no" to 100 out of 100 people.
He'll say "no"?
Yeah.
Of course, there are people who like you or hate you.
That guy who married Konishiki is really stupid!
But you know, out of all of us four, the one who was the toughest was...
That's...
That gorilla man!
No, that's really...
Right?!
Seriously, right?!
Yeah...
I was surprised!
Right?!
When you first came out of the white show...
When you first came out of the white show and the gorilla man hit you...
Get out of my way!
Don't make me laugh! Don't make me laugh!
It's a wedding ring!
Gorilla Man!
What are you doing?
You're sweating, Gorilla Man!
You're dirty!
It's hard!
Stop it, Gorilla Man!
Hey!
It's really hard.
You know, TV is like that for celebrities.
Well...
I can't say it in a bad way.
He's like that, too.
He's not a skater.
You're disgusting!
It's too red in here!
This is tough.
You're desperate!
Desperate!
Um...somehow...the accelerator.
Yeah.
Yeah, triple accelerator.
Triple...
What?!
Triple?!
I gave up on the triple accelerator.
I gave up.
Because I was in a bad mood.
You failed!
Yeah.
You're desperate for that!
Yeah, yeah.
It's not burnt! It's not burnt! It's not burnt!
It's not burnt!
You're desperate for that!
I don't know what you're carrying in your bag, but...
...you've got a cane and an umbrella and you're doing something!
Doing something!
It's red in here, isn't it?
Who's ugly?
I think the other day, you had your beauty respirator and stuff.
Yeah.
You're ugly anyway!
What do you mean, "beauty" or "beauty"?!
You're breaking your nose!
You can do it like this!
He's doing push-ups!
And!
Next to the screen, he's doing push-ups!
That happens.
Right?!
But with that...
I can't tell you about Gorillaman yet.
I won't tell you!
Gorillaman was doing push-ups.
No, no...
He was doing badminton!
What kind of face?!
Of course, but please listen!
After watching this show, I think it's about when I fell asleep...
I fell asleep, and with a loud voice...
WHAT?! WHAT?!
That's what he said.
When I woke up and heard it, it was about me, but I laughed.
Do you say "sleep talk"?
No, I don't say it. I do it violently, though.
You do it violently, don't you? You really do it violently, don't you?
No, it's just that I'm told to do it, and it's something I don't know about, so I do it violently.
This guy's sleep talk is amazing.
Huh?!
It's violent!
No, I know about sleep talk, but have you heard of it? I was sleeping with you.
Really?!
I used to say it a lot in the past. I don't know about it now, though.
Now, you see, we don't go to a love hotel together like we used to.
It's like that.
But it's better if you fix it violently.
I heard you couldn't sleep until morning.
I couldn't sleep until morning.
You could sleep, but...
If you fixed it more violently in the morning, you'd be woken up by this guy.
He'd kick you and wake you up.
WAKE UP!
If you eat a lot and go to bed early, you'll become a cow.
If you eat while you sleep, what will you become?
That's a difficult question.
I was thinking about it with you today.
Let's go! One, two...
Let's say it's delicious, right?
Yeah.
Why is it so?
You know, when I was a kid, I didn't think it would be like this.
I was really scared when I was a kid.
You know, when you blow a whistle, a snake comes out.
Yeah, I know.
And you know, when you eat something, your fingers bend.
Oh, it's good.
It would be like this.
If it was like this, it wouldn't be a problem.
This is painful, but...
No, no, no.
It's not a good thing.
Even if it was like this, it wouldn't be a problem.
I was scared of that, you know.
And this is a question, you know.
What is it?
There's another one.
Oh, yeah.
I'm going to talk about it in parallel.
How does a shell feel when it spits sand?
The last two.
How does a shell feel when it spits sand?
A shell...
Um...
It doesn't do anything wrong.
Yeah.
It doesn't...
What?
A shell...
Um...
It doesn't do anything wrong.
It's just in the sea.
I don't know why, but when winter comes...
It's taken away.
Yeah.
And then...
It's taken away to a place like the central shore.
Yeah, yeah.
It's taken away.
And then...
A fisherman comes in the morning and says...
Take it away.
Yeah, yeah.
It happens three times in a row.
And then a fisherman comes in and says...
Take it away.
A fisherman...
He'll say to that rough one...
Take it away!
He'll say like that, you know?
You know?
He'll really go up like this, and...
If you take it away without asking...
It's...
Bleh!
It's kind of like that.
Can you do it? Can you fight it?
I'll do my best! I'll do my best!
It's difficult, that kind of thing.
So, what happens if you eat it while you're sleeping?
What happens if you eat it while you're sleeping?
If you eat it...
If you eat it while you're sleeping...
"If you eat it while you're sleeping" is there, right?
It's also in songs, right?
Eat it while you're sleeping...
You've just healed me!
I mean you can really sing while you're fiddling with it!
Eat it while you're sleeping
What happens if you eat it while you're sleeping?
"Eat it while you're sleeping" is there?
Is it already awake?
Yeah, it's "Eat it while you're awake."
"Eat it while you're awake" means you're eating it normally, right?
What does it mean?
What will you do?
I'll be full.
I see.
Then, then...
After you eat...
What will you do?
It's hard.
What will you do?
After you eat, you'll be fat again.
Yes.
Oh, you're good!
You're good!
You'll be fat.
It's not that you'll be fat, you'll be a pig!
But...
If you eat and then sleep, you'll be a cow!
No, no, no...
You're getting there.
You're getting there!
The problem is...
If you eat and then sleep...
What will you do?
Yes.
You're getting there.
Are you getting there?
Was my tone too high just now?
This is...
I eat while sleeping.
Yes.
I'm not a sleepwalker.
That's right.
Huh?
Shall we go home?
For now, let's go home.
Let's go home.
Why do comedians' wives look so ugly?
They do women's manzai and look ugly and smell like feet.
I don't know about that.
You don't know about that.
I don't know about that.
It's called "double sakuranbo".
Do you know it?
It stinks so much!
That's right.
I was so tired from work.
It was my turn next, and there was a dressing room.
I was drowsing in the dressing room.
Then, I knocked my nose so hard.
I woke up and looked around.
Then, I found a double sakuranbo high heel.
I got closer and took it in my hand.
My nose was...
Piki-piki-piki-piki...
Para-para-para-para...
That's right!
I didn't know about that.
Do you know that my feet don't stink at all?
You don't know about that.
Your feet don't stink!
They don't stink!
It stinks!
Let me have it! Let me have it!