AISubs v3.5
"Gundam" of "Gaki no Tsukai Arahen".
The first "Gaki no Tsukai Arahen" is "Hyakuen Crane Battle Royale"!
Today's number is few!
So, today...
There is a game.
When you go to a game center, you can get 100 yen or 200 yen.
You pick up a stuffed animal or a toy and bring it to you.
You play that game as a human being!
We have invited a great person!
The queen of SM, Yukari-jo!
- How are you? - How long have you been on this road?
- It's been six years. - Just by looking at you, I can tell you're an M.
- I know. - By the way, I'm downtown, but my partner Matsumoto is here. Who is he?
- He's an M. - An M?! Downtown Matsumoto is an M?!
- An M. - Are you sure about that? - I'm sure about that.
- I'm sticking my shoulder out on this road. - You're sticking your shoulder out on this road?!
- So that's you. - We're joined by cranes. - A human crane! - We've got two humans craning for us!
Here they are!
- Hi there! - All you do islingen while I'm talking!
- Keep it up, guys! - Hello!
- His name is Yamazaki and his name is Nuriyasu. - Yes.
Now, camera-san, they are shown like this.
But there are various obstacles waiting for them.
Let's clear them and let them do it.
Understood.
Now, let's do it right away!
- From here... - Who are you?
- Eh? - For you to understand, from here...
- There is love ignorance. - Can I go in again?
No, you can't. Please!
Now, do your best!
You too! You're just rolling around!
Ouch! It hurts!
- Ouch! It hurts! - It's closed!
No, it's a spear!
Do your best!
Raise it higher! Raise it higher!
Raise it higher!
Raise it higher! Higher!
You guys! Hey!
- Help me! - Hey!
- Help me! - What are you doing?!
Do your best! If you can't go to the water's surface, you'll get caught!
This way!
Now, what you're waiting for is...
The Homoyaro Corps!
Oh, you're getting caught!
You're getting caught!
It's too much for me!
What? I'm scared, too!
Put your hands up. Put your hands up.
Drop the water! Drop the water!
Ouch!
You guys, don't take the doll!
No! No!
Don't take the doll!
Don't take the doll, you guys!
Don't take the doll!
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
Watch out! Watch out!
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
Ouch!
No!
Yamada-kun! Yamada-kun!
Good job!
All right!
Ouch!
Why?!
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Wow! Wow! Wow!
But you did your best!
What did I do?
You said it in the opening, didn't you?
I said it in the opening?
You shouldn't say things like that every day!
Why?!
It's tiring!
That's right! I'm really sorry about today!
I know, but we'll finish it up early today.
That's right!
You shouldn't say things like that every day!
You say it every day, don't you?!
I can't get up today!
I know...
I can't do it anymore...
I've been alone for the past two days.
Why?
Because you went home.
No, no, it doesn't mean anything bad.
I'm not asking you to go home.
No, it's not like that.
I finished work at 9 o'clock and went home in the middle of the night.
It's really cold in the room.
Ah, it's a warm bioform that should be warm.
That's right! The heat should be working!
That's usually the case.
My blood is boiling!
It's weird!
My blood is boiling!
You're lying!
It's always warm!
It's not like that.
It's not like that! I'm always alone!
I'm always alone!
There's no one around me!
It's true!
No, it's not like that!
If you don't turn 29 tomorrow morning, what will my brother do?
No, no, it's not like that at all!
I won't turn 29 tomorrow morning!
It's a shield of words!
I can't do it!
Think with your head soft!
I told you before in this show that I have insomnia and worries.
Since then, if I have worries or fan letters, I tell them to me.
You know, you guys are a little more... How do you say it?
Why do you accept it as it is?
It's almost morning and you say "almost"?
Even if it's a fan letter, it's too cruel to throw away the chocolate!
Isn't that true?
No, no, it's more like a skater who stepped on it.
But you know...
I know!
You know what? What?
I'm happy, I'm really happy!
I'm really happy!
Even if it's a useless thing, I'm really grateful for it.
It's such a grateful thing...
What are you going to do with it?
That gratitude is...
Why?!
Why are you so grateful?!
You shouldn't have thrown it away!
Why are you so grateful?!
You know, it's really...
It's really cute!
It's really...
What is cute?!
No, no, it's not like that! You're saying it's really cute! What is cute?!
Your hair is all messed up...
But what is it?!
Oh, it's a cat!
You know, you want to hug it, right?
I know that...
For a cat, it's really painful, but when you see something cute, you want to hug it!
There's something like "cute, but too much", right?
The fans gave me a present, and I was so happy that I threw it away!
It hit me so hard that it hit me from below!
And from above, I was like "what is this?!"
And I was like "what is this?!"
Oh, you know, if you keep doing it for a long time, it hits you more than that!
Yes, that's my best story!
If you do it like that, you'll make your friends happy!
Yes!
If you express it like that...
You'll make your friends happy!
No, no, no!
If you express it like that, you'll make your friends happy!
If I say something bad about you...
You really trust me, don't you?!
You keep telling me "homoya, homoya"...
Yes, yes, yes!
You're still trying to be like me, aren't you?!
Yes, I am!
That's why...
Sometimes you do something like this!
You try to do something like this with your legs!
I've never seen you like a woman like that!
You're lying!
Not a single one of your gestures is like that!
"Nani ga ina"...
"Nani ga ina", like that...
"Nani ga ina"...
It's like you're saying "Nani ga ina"!
"Nani ga ina"...
That's weird!
No, but it's true that I have a lot of female hormones.
Why?!
What's wrong with that?
You know, I don't have a "k".
I'm "wakiye nai nai kun".
"Nai nai kun" is...
I've been doing "nai nai" for a long time.
It's tough!
Wait!
You know...
I'm always telling really hardcore jokes.
You know, like "futto" and "hia gohan".
Until now, I've been giving everyone wonderful dinner and meat soup.
It's tough!
That's also tough!
I'm supposed to be eating a lot of steak!
My hardcore jokes.
You know, like "futto" and "hia gohan".
I'm supposed to make everyone eat "sisso" food.
Oh, now you're talking about "sisso".
You know, my jokes.
"Dinner full course".
What do you mean "full course"?
You're talking about "hia gohan", aren't you?
That's not what I'm talking about.
No, you're talking about whether you have female hormones or not.
Yes, yes, yes. I do have a lot of female hormones.
You know, I'm pretty "h".
You're saying that because you're fat, aren't you?!
No, no, no.
I'm pretty "h".
What's "h" about me?!
Shut up!
How could you say that?!
As a comedian, what kind of reaction should you get when you're touched like that?!
Stop it!
You can't even be called a "comedian's windbreaker".
Why do you have to be "touched" like that?!
You're even singing "tadane" now!
You think you're "soto" now, don't you?!
Yeah, you're right.
Men are always waiting in front of mansions.
And you know whether or not they're there because cars are parked.
Oh, I see.
Aren't you getting hit by a car?
No.
Oh, I just broke it.
It was on TV.
Oh, really?
It's broken so cleanly.
It's not like the one we used to use with a screwdriver and bang!
It's broken to a point where the keyhole is slightly dented.
I told you it's clean.
I'm a professional.
It's not like that.
I don't usually wash cars and...
How do you say it?
Mud gets on it, right?
Yes, dust.
There are people who write letters by hand.
The other day, when I went to work in the morning,
I saw "poop" written on the door sill.
There were words but "poop" came out of it!
I thought it was "poop".
No, you're "poop"!
It's hard.
Right?
Did you wake up today?
Today?
Yes.
But you were here at 2 a.m. today.
That's right.
You'd wake up if you were here at 2 a.m., wouldn't you?
No, I'd wake up.
Were you sleeping or what?
I wasn't sleeping, you idiot!
You were crying.
What?
No, you were crying because you couldn't wake up.
I was baking cookies.
You're reading too fast.
Go away! You're making me laugh!
That's not how you read!
You should read faster!
You're reading too fast!
Go away!
The other day, I went out of the house in my new socks with cat prints.
Then, a neighbor said to me, "Your socks are cute."
I'm fat, but will you laugh at me like this?
Yes, that's all!
I can't stand people who say they're fat!
They always want to eat something.
Really!
While I was on the move today, I saw an elementary school student who was really fat.
He wasn't in a car, but he was really fat.
He was eating something like pink sugar.
I don't know if he's trying not to be seen by his mother.
While hiding!
I'm going to move now. Hey, fat guy!
That fat guy is funny.
He's sweating and hiding.
Look at how fat he is.
He's breathing with his mouth.
What else is there?
Humans should have been created by God so that we can breathe with our noses.
That's why we have nostrils, right?
What else is there for us to breathe with our mouths?
That's when we say "finally"!
We can't raise our mouths as much as we can!
What else is there?
It's an emergency!
It's like a performance!
I guess I eat about twice as much.
What did you say?
I forgot!
I ate earlier.
Huh? I haven't eaten yet!
Is that so?
I ate earlier, but when I move a little more...
Ah! I'm hungry!
Don't eat me!
That's how I eat.
You like jeans, don't you?
Because you're fat.
Ah, I like it! I like it!
Right, Toru-chan?
You're always wearing shorts.
Not again, Toru-chan.
When I sit down, I wear shorts.
Bruce milk (milk with fruits)
That's right, when we were doing it together in the old program...
Ooh, there's always Bruce milk (milk with fruits)
That's right, that's right...
Isn't it?
You have the club's mama
but you don't have the club's papa?
You have the club's papa, so you're the club's mama's man, aren't you?
Papa?
Papa is that...
you know, papa with a whip, right?
Yeah, well...
But you're about to be one of them.
What are you talking about?
Huh?
You won't be one of them.
I didn't like it very much.
I thought it would come more strongly.
Really?
I don't know if I read it badly.
Emotions union.
That's what you always do.
That's probably it.
The club's mother is here.
Look!
I can't read it anymore.
Is it good?
Is it okay?
It's okay. I can still use it.
The club's mother is here.
I want to hear it if you say it like that.
Again.
The club's mother is here.
It's really good.
I want to hear it.
The club's mother is here.
It's really good.
Shut up!
That's funny.
The club's mother is here.
Huh?
Seventy-one years old.
Yes.
Recently, I'm starting to be able to distinguish between you and your mother.
But I still can't distinguish between you and your mother.
Which one is which?
Is it easy to understand? Tell me!
What will you do?
No, what will you do?
Well, you know, people often say "fatty" and "thin" or "big" and "small" and so on,
but in our case, we don't say that much, do we?
Well, if you say "spicy" you say "juicy" and "spicy" you say "delicious"
Anyway, I don't know which one is "spicy" and which one is "juicy", do you?
I still hear old ladies saying "chameleon, chameleon, chameleon" and "cock-a-doodle-do"
I know that
Old ladies watch tough programs, but in our case, we like "wild country"
We don't like "wild country"
We're sick of it! We don't like it!
Yeah
You know, in the wild countryside, there are places where lions chase deers.
It's really exciting!
Run away! Run away! Run away!
Deer cheering line.
Deer! Deer!
Deer are like that. When a deer sees a lion or a deer, it says "Oh, it's a deer. Oh, it's a lion."
But we don't know which is downtowner, Matsu-chan or Hama-chan.
What?!
Sorry, I couldn't say anything.
I couldn't say anything.
What was that? What did you want to say?
Old ladies watch "Kingdom of the Wild", don't they?
What? We do.
Don't we?
But we don't watch programs like "Kingdom of the Wild".
Yes, yes, yes.
Old ladies who watch "Kingdom of the Wild" know clearly which is downtowner and which is downtowner.
But Matsu-chan and Hama-chan don't know clearly.
So while you were walking down the road, a deer was walking this way.
Oh, it's a deer.
Don't tell Hama-chan about it.
I won't. I'll tell the deer.
Old ladies watch "Kingdom of the Wild".
Hey, deer, come here.
Huh? Who's deer?
My grandson.
Ask him about it.
I can't do anything about it.
Does Miyi-kun have an older sister?
Even if you say that, I don't know.
This is the first time for Miyi-kun.
Does Yocchan know?
No, I don't know.
This is Yocchan.
Yocchan of the 12th grade.
Yocchan, come here quickly. It's a deer.
Yocchan of the 12th grade says, "Huh? Deer?"
"Hama-chan!" says Yocchan of the 12th grade.
Hama-chan, it's a deer!
Is it?
But it's a deer.
Old ladies watch "Kingdom of the Wild" this way.
I see. It's different from what you see.
It's different from what you see.
It's a long story.
If you two could become gods and create something new, what would you create?
We would combine something and something.
Combine?
A lion and an elephant.
A lion and an elephant?
A lion and an elephant combined to form a lion and an elephant.
This is an elephant as a whole.
It has a long nose and long hair.
That's it for the lion part.
I don't know.
Well...
I don't know.
But there are still many animals that haven't been discovered yet.
Like a mudfish.
Well, there are.
Is there anything else?
I don't know if there is.
A kappa?
A kappa, a kappa.
Yes, there is a kappa.
A kappa?
Oh, that's old news.
Don't say it.
I've never seen a kappa.
That's it.
I've never seen a kappa.
I know.
No, I'm serious.
I know you want to see a kappa when you go on a trip.
You want to see it in a toilet.
That's right.
I don't agree with you.
Have you seen it?
No, it's not that I've seen it, it's that I've been seen it.
Hey, are you kidding me?
Have you been seen a kappa?
Have you seen it?
I've seen it.
At first, you just said it and it came out like this.
It's pretty deep and wide for me.
It's like it's digging a hole in the side.
So there's a hole like this, right?
And you make another one like this next to it, right?
Like a mole?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
And I did it and looked down and it came out!
From the hole?
From the hole!
Like this?
No, no, no, no, like this.
I looked at it and it was like...
Why...
Why?
Are you going to bandage me?
Why are you doing this?
What is this?
Yes!
It looks weird!