AISubs v3.5
"Hello AB", "Lion Channel", "This is NCB", "This is Japanese TV".
Don't do it like that!
Four and a half minutes.
Can't we do it live?
We can't do it on VTR.
Why can't we do it live?
Don't do it like that!
It's not good.
Beeeeeep!
We still have four minutes!
Beeeeeep!
Let's do it in a different pattern.
Okay.
Okay, let's have him say it.
Okay, like this.
Beeeeeep!
How many minutes left?
Three and a half minutes.
Beeeeeep!
Three and a half minutes.
(Laughter)
Probably two and a half minutes.
Well...
Two minutes ago...
Shh!
Hey, Meg-san!
Do you want me to fix it?
Is it really wrong?
No, it's fine, it's fine.
Well...
Around here...
One minute and thirty seconds ago...
Is it really wrong?
Yes, it is.
Shh!
Ah, ah, ah!
One, two, one, two, three...
Shh!
Three minutes later...
- Until you do it. - I'm going to do it.
Damn it.
Here we go.
Feet...
Eeeh...
Should I say it with my whole body?
Eeeh...
After this, it's Hayamiu's American Kids.
Nice to meet you!
I can't use the key!
Three...two...
Ladies and gentlemen...
There's a lot of guys like that.
How about you?
There's a lot of guys like that.
The other day, I was walking in Shinjuku for the first time in a while...
Shinjuku...
He's probably like this.
I was walking in Shinjuku...
There's no girls following me at all, you know?
Girls are like, "Oh, it's you, Matsu."
And that's it.
All the girls who follow me are guys like that.
There's a lot of guys who talk to girls like that.
Yeah.
You know?
And I'm like, you know, wearing a hat and walking by.
Then a girl who's talking to me notices me and says, "Oh, it's you, Matsu."
Then a guy who's talking to me says, "Oh, it's you, Matsu."
Then a girl goes over there, but a guy follows her.
What's with that situation?
You want a good one, don't you?
You...
I don't know if it's good or bad, but...
Yes.
Today...
Did you all watch it today?
Yes. Did you all watch it?
Yes.
Oh, you watched it!
You guys are amazing! I... I was sleeping!
Matsu's punishment game was shown on your show.
Yes, yes.
For five minutes.
It was on the show!
For only five minutes!
Today is the opening.
Matsu's color bar on the TV jackpot.
There it is!
Yes!
So that's it.
That was tough.
For today's first episode, Matsu...
Yes, yes.
For now, we'll show you what you saw on the show.
Oh, right. You're a second year high school student, right?
I'm a second year high school student.
I see, I see.
It was tough. I wanted to sleep.
No, I mean...
You know...
That color bar thing...
Well, you know...
It'd be nice if you did it right after the show ended.
Yes, yes, yes.
Before the show even started!
So it's five and a half.
That's right.
Like I said, you need four and a half.
Yes, yes.
It's tough, four and a half.
It's pitch black!
It's cold, it's cold!
I'm going to pick you up at your apartment, you big, toothy, second-floor apartment man.
Good morning, Wacchan! Good morning, Wacchan!
The light is shining here and there, and it's like a rainbow. Do you see it?
There's no such thing! There's no such thing!
If you jump in and take a picture, there's some hexagonal light! Like a prism!
It's like this and like that!
Wacchan, you're funny!
First of all, let's take a look at the color of the house.
5 hours and 24 minutes.
You're good.
P
- You're doing it right. - Yeah, you're good.
P
You're saying "P" out loud!
I think we should do this in real life.
Why do you have to do it raw?
Don't let me do it.
Don't bite me!
It's morning already.
I'm going to take five minutes.
Five minutes is a little hard.
There's four minutes left.
I'm going to do it my own way.
How many minutes are left?
I'm going to do it my own way.
Don't move your body!
Are you trying to catch me?
There's only one minute left.
There's only two minutes left.
[Laughter]
Two minutes to go.
[Laughter]
What's taking you two minutes?
Why did you say "OK"?
[Laughter]
Oh, I see.
[Laughter]
No, it's fine.
Thirty seconds to go.
[Laughter]
Three minutes to go.
Thirty seconds to go.
[Laughter]
OK?
OK.
Eeeeeeeet.
Thirty seconds to go.
Shall I go all out?
[Laughter]
OK?
OK.
Eeeeeeeet.
[Laughter]
After this, Hayamin's American kiss. [Laughter]
[Applause]
Power bar.
[Applause]
I see.
It's hard until you do it, isn't it?
Until you come here.
Yes, until you come here, it's quite...
Eh, the person holding the camera is...
It's not the staff here.
The staff here is Garakuta, isn't it?
[Laughter]
Eh, next is making.
I'll show you the making.
Yes.
Here you go.
[Beep]
[Laughter]
I happened to be in Osaka and saw Kohaku's Yakiniku restaurant.
Ako-san was crying.
She was crying.
I thought it was right for me to say that.
[Beep]
Why is the music like this?
[Laughter]
[Beep]
Ah, you said sub, didn't you?
No, sub is that.
Maestai.
Ah, maestai.
But it's not right for this.
Well, but...
It doesn't match.
Ah, it's him! It's him!
The one with shining teeth is him!
[Laughter]
If you paint this part of the face in detail, it's a little noisy.
Doesn't it take about two hours?
Hmm?
Like this...
Between here and here.
Anyway, at this hour...
[Laughter]
I'm going to talk seriously.
[Laughter]
Let's go upstairs, then.
Matsumoto Hitoshi's...
[Laughter]
It's 5 o'clock in the evening on the show and it's Matsumoto Hitoshi's punishment game.
[Laughter]
It's not morning!
[Laughter]
This is bad.
This is going to take a while.
[Music]
My head is being pushed down.
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
It's hard to hold it down.
Shall we go now?
Shall we go to him who is dressed like this?
This is not good.
She made fun of me.
This is better, isn't it?
It's not bad even if you don't ride it.
Fifteen seconds.
Ten seconds.
Eight, seven, six, five seconds.
Four, three, two...
One!
Konato Hayamiu's Amigam Kizune
Konato Hayamiu's Amigam Kizune!
Nice to meet you!
Oh, it's over.
Thank you!
That's it.
Right?
Well, well, well...
You did well.
I did well, but you told me to call you.
I did.
When it was five and a half...
That's right, that's right...
You told me to call you in person.
That's right, that's right...
You told me to hold the phone in my room...
That's right, that's right...
But you hung up on me!
You called me every day, didn't you?
Yes, yes...
In the morning, in the morning...
That's right, that's right...
Because you called me in the morning...
That's right, that's right...
You called me about three times...
Yes, yes...
Because you were persistent and annoying...
Yes, yes...
Yesterday, before you went to bed, you hung up on me.
That's not true!
If you had made me do a punishment game, I would have definitely gone there!
No, you would never have come!
You're the kind of guy who can't even keep your work hours!
There's no way you'd come at someone else's punishment game time!
I've never been late!
Wait!
Yesterday you were completely late, weren't you?
That's right, yesterday I was an hour and a half late for Fuji TV...
As you know, I was an hour and a half late for Fuji TV...
Everyone was waiting for me!
I couldn't help it...
But you came right away!
You're an hour late!
What are you doing?!
No, I'm watching TV...
W-w-what?!
W-what?!
I woke up earlier than scheduled and watched some TV.
Yo, yo, yo!
Macchan, you're a failure!
Shall we lower it a little more?
Yes, let's lower it a little.
Ah, it's really bad.
It's really...
But I'd like to do it again soon.
Ah, is that so?
I think so.
Yes, yes.
Right?
My head hurts.
Mine hurts too. I don't know why.
You haven't said anything big in a while.
I've said a lot!
But really, like I said earlier, I'm serious.
You don't know, but only men follow me.
Then show me!
No, really, really.
In this area, men are like...
Like this...
Wait a minute!
It's like a fortune-teller.
He gives out a piece of paper and a ballpoint pen.
I thought he'd say, "Sign it for me!"
But it's not like that.
He's like...
Please contact me.
In this area?!
It's tough...
Machan, you're a real man.
You're annoying.
Why do you keep following me?
Sometimes you want to follow a woman, don't you?!
The one who follows a woman is an annoying woman!
No, really...
It's not like that.
No, but you...
If you walk around like that...
That's...
No, no. I'm wearing a glasses and a hat.
But, you know...
The woman doesn't notice you at all.
You're wearing a bra and a hat.
She's like...
Ah, who's that?
And you're all like...
I hate these guys!
And you're like...
Like a heavy metal band...
Ah, it's Machan.
What?!
You should follow me.
Ah, I should follow you?
You're a good woman.
What will you do?
What do you want?
You shouldn't follow me, right?
Well, there are too many men...
You should follow me because you have the will for tomorrow, right?
No, I just like that kind of thing.
You're annoying.
Why not?! It's fun!
It's definitely not fun.
If Bambi follows you, you'll have fun.
There are birds all around me.
That's right!
There are birds all around me.
That's right! Bambi is kind of funny, too.
He's kind of funny, too!
That's right!
Your legs are kind of light, too.
That's right!
Good morning.
Why?
Because I went to graduate school.
Ah, the training center?
Yeah.
Graduate school. I was dropped out today.
That's annoying.
Why?
Because I was over 12 kilograms.
You shouldn't say that!
If I had just one opinion, I would have dropped out of graduate school.
How can you say that?!
Why not?! I was able to make it to the crossing.
The descent was exactly 40 kilograms.
I was climbing and descending.
When I turned around and turned off the traffic lights,
I was at the finish line.
Is that how you say it?
I was at the finish line.
That 40 kilograms...
Because it's a long descent, I think it's about 50 kilograms.
But when I got off and looked at it,
it was 40 kilograms.
When I looked at it again,
it was 52 kilograms.
Ah, you shouldn't say that.
That's a pretty low point.
That's what I'm saying today, too.
You're overdoing it.
I've said it about two times.
Okay.
When I looked at it again,
I didn't say anything else.
Maybe in my heart,
I'm saying you're overdoing it!
Maybe...
"I think you said it." "Yeah, I did." "But at that stage, it was canceled." "Yeah, yeah, I was removed." "That's weird!" "If you're standing on the crosswalk," "You shouldn't stop anymore." "It's like you don't know if you'll cross or not." "That's right!" "That's weird!" "That's why I don't have a graduate degree." "That's weird!" "You shouldn't stop just standing in front of the crosswalk." "If you said that," "I'd be in the car," "And you wouldn't be able to see me." "Of course." "Of course." "And when I graduated,"
"I was doing pretty well." "Now that I've crossed the crosswalk," "It's a pretty wide crosswalk," "And it's like, you know," "It's like..." "What?" "It's like this." "I don't get it!" "No, it's true!" "You crossed the crosswalk," "And it's like this!" "No, it's true!" "Ah, in this case, what do you think?" "That's right! That's exactly what you said!" "In this case, what do you think?" "I thought it was fine,"
"But when I crossed it," "I was stepped on," "And I was like, 'That's enough,'" "And I was like, 'Go back.' " "Ah, I see." "That's weird! You shouldn't cross that!" "It's hot..." "You might have seen it on TV or something like that." "No, I've seen it." "It's like, you know," "If you're standing on the crosswalk," "You shouldn't stop." "That means," "If you're standing," "There's a chance you'll cross it." "That's right." "However," "Even if you're sitting," "There might be people crossing it." "Even if you're doing this," "Ah, it's blue!"
"Maybe there are people crossing it." "Maybe there are people crossing it." "That's right!" "If you're standing on the crosswalk," "What do you think?" "No, I don't know!" "Even if you're doing this," "Maybe you'll suddenly go off." "Even if you're doing this," "Maybe you'll go moonwalking."
"If you're doing this," "Maybe you'll suddenly go off."
That day was really funny.
There was an old man who was riding in front of me.
An old man in his 50s.
He usually finishes in 27 hours, right?
Yes, yes.
But you've been riding for 66 hours.
It's tough!
It's amazing!
Could you calm down and do it for me?
Don't do it.
Even if you're doing this,
Could you calm down and do it for me?
Even if you're doing this,
Could you not stop?
Me and the instructor were doing this!
Could you not stop?
No, that's not a violation.
An old man and two people next to me were doing this!
No, that's not a violation.
Oh, I see.
That's why you got cut off your ticket.
Well, you know.
My blue ticket got cut off.
Because I was riding in front of you and behind you.
I know.
Riding in front of you.
Matchama-chan, good afternoon.
I always enjoy watching you.
By the way, I have a question for you.
What are your weaknesses?
Weaknesses?
Weaknesses.
It's a little painful for you to say this.
Huh?
If I dare say it, my weakness is...
Well, you know.
Missiles and things like that.
I have a question for you two.
What is it?
Can you do 100 foreheads?
Or can you do only one ear?
Which one should I choose?
What is that?
I know forehead, but where can I put my forehead?
Let's make it a face.
You can't put a forehead on a face.
"Forehead, huh?" "Forehead." "And what about forehead?"
Forehead is...
Let's see...
"Here, here, here." "Forehead, here."
Here is a face of a forehead.
The forehead of a passionate storm.
Your hair is long!
That's why your hair and eyebrows are connected.
Ah, they are separated and put like this.
Yes, yes, yes.
Sometimes you have to pay for this, right?
No, Hideki pays for it like this.
Hideki, are you holding hands?
Hand, hand.
Only your face is different?
Yes, only my face is different.
What is this?
Because you look like Gotch, Hideki.
Really?
Yes.
What would you do if you had a Hideki T-shirt?
I wouldn't wear it.
I wouldn't wear it anyway.
Would you wear it?
No, no, no, no.
If I ran like this, I wouldn't fall.
Ah, like a racer.
Hideki, if you happen to fall down and get big, I'll put you here.
Hideki, you're holding hands.
What is it? It's like a racer.
Yes, it is.
Even if you try to go this way, you're already here.
Original "Downtown"
This is what they do to young guys in downtown.
This is what they do to young guys in downtown!
You will be beaten up by me and Adan Adan's kid's light!
Stop it!