AISubs v3.5
Yeah!
The best!
Wow, that's amazing. As expected of Golden, it's colored.
Even the signboard is colored.
Back in the day...
It was a dirty white board, though.
Back in the day, it said "colored" like this.
Was there such a thing?
When I saw it...
A child...
Well, it's just the two of us, right?
Yeah.
Well, we do all kinds of performances.
That's right.
There's nothing special.
What's up with kids these days?
Aren't they weak?
I see.
Don't they cry easily?
In our generation...
When we were born...
Japan was still a barren land.
It was a time when there was nothing.
Today, there are four men and two women.
But there's one more man.
Oh, is that so?
Where is Toshide-kun?
Toshide-kun!
You can't say that!
Chibikko!
You can't say that!
Please say your name.
I'm Ruge Raichi.
Huh?!
I'm Ruge Raichi.
Ruge Raichi?!
Are you Chinese?!
W-what?!
Ruge Raichi?!
I don't know!
What is scary?
Wataru is scary.
E.T. is scary because he's pitiful.
What did you say?!
I don't know!
E.T. is scary because he's pitiful.
Why is he scary?
Wataru-kun is Noi Rosea.
You like someone, don't you?
I like someone, but I don't want to say it.
You like someone, but you don't want to say it.
Tell me their name.
I know their name, but I don't know their face.
You like someone you don't know their face, don't you?!
Oh, you're Terekura!
And in other news...
Hamada-kun has appeared in this peaceful room! Hamada- kun, please come in!
He's drooling but not crying!
Huh?!
If I were you, I'd be scared!
Yui-chan, Yui-chan, Yui-chan!
You're making me laugh!
You're weird! You're a weird old man!
I wonder if he'll cry!
Hamada-kun, please come in!
The last house is...
Why, why?!
Why are you crying?!
Why?!
Why are you crying?!
Why?!
This is bad! This is scary!
Ladies and gentlemen...
It's a beautiful place, isn't it?
It's my first hall...
It's your first hall, but...
Today, there's an old woman who looks like Geronimo.
You know...
What is it?
You know...
Is it the YouTube Japan Series?
Yes!
It was really, really, really exciting, wasn't it?
Yes! The western team won, didn't they?
I always say that, but...
There are only six or nine teams, right?
If it's a line, it's a bad line, but...
Yes, yes, yes...
There are only six or nine teams, but they win once every six years, right?
I'm sure of it, but...
There's nothing special about it, isn't it?
No, but...
They can't win even once...
You know...
This superstar...
What is it?
He runs through the comedians like this...
This one is better, isn't it?
But...
There are people who want to win and cry...
No, but...
They've been doing it for a year...
It's stupid, isn't it?
No, no...
It doesn't matter if you're a player or not...
There are people who cheer for you and cry...
No, of course...
They've been cheering for you for a year...
For example...
The rainbow is...
Oh, oh...
The blue light is blinking...
I can still do it...
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta...
From the other side...
Buuuuun...
I drank too much yesterday...
Aaaah!
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
Are you okay?
Thank you!
Your name is...
Akiyama from the western region?
If that's the case, I...
That's too long!
I told you...
I told you in the store...
I thought it was too late...
I came in a little early...
I was in a hospital next door...
I had to lie down for about an hour...
The strange thing about illness...
It's the appendix...
It's there...
The appendix...
- When you say it, right? - When you say it, when you say it...
- That's weird, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah...
You know, I always cut my hat off and stuff like that...
But what do you do with a cut off hat?
No, I just throw it away.
Where?
Like this...
And who's gonna take that garbage with them?
The old man comes every morning!
What?! The old man buys it?! The old man takes the hat?!
Of course not! We don't need it! It's raw garbage!
No way...
Idiot!
And what do you do with your hair?
You cut it off and throw it away?!
By the time you get home, it's already been thrown away!
You watch it while you pay for it!
But you know, I wonder...
Why do human noses end up in places like this?
Why do they end up in places like this?
You know, like...
When you eat it, you end up smelling it, right?
There's something that smells good, but it stinks.
There's something that you want to lick, but you can't because it stinks.
And at times like that...
If you had a nose like this...
It's okay! You can lick it!
What did you say?!
It doesn't matter where the smell is!
It's not like that!
Eh?! If you have a nose around here and lick it with your mouth, does it smell?!
You shouldn't do that!
What kind of woman are you dating?!
I don't need my nose here anymore.
I like my nose here.
But it's a little lonely here!
It's lonely here!
It's lonely here, so when you look at it, it's out of balance, right?
So I'll put my hair around here.
Is it okay?
What is it?!
You have hair in such a place?!
It's lonely here!
But it's in the way!
Why is it like that?!
When you do something like this, it's in the way, right?
It's not like that!
When you're here, it's annoying, right?
If you talk like this...
Does soap water go in like this?
If you talk like this...
So, I think...
You have a nose here, but you have another nose.
When you're in the bath, you have a different nose, and this nose...
Doesn't work.
Doesn't work. It's closed.
Where's the other nose?
The other nose is... around here.
It looks good when you wear a kimono.
Once I went to the hospital.
To the hospital.
I was thinking of going to a human doctor.
That's good.
You really should go.
But it's scary.
Like...
What's it called? Scan? CT scan?
You can cut it in half and look at it.
Wow, that's scary.
Call me, you.
No, actually...
What would you do with it?
What would you do if something was in it?
Where?
When I was riding my bike in the Showa era...
There was a bee in my nose.
And...
It went in, but I don't remember it coming out.
I know, I know.
I don't know if it was a bee or a bug.
It went in.
And I was like, "Wow, it's in there!"
But I don't remember it coming out.
Maybe it's somewhere in there.
Maybe it's dead in there.
Yeah.
So it's definitely in there.
As a dead body.
Maybe it didn't come out.
What?
It didn't come out of my mouth, but it didn't come out when I became an old man.
It didn't come out, it didn't come out.
But it's somewhere in there.
I'm sure of it.
Is it around here?
What if it went in from here?
It went in from here.
And it went up once.
Is it decided?
It's decided.
Doesn't it go up once it goes in?
It goes up once it goes in.
I didn't know that.
So?
Where did it go up?
And it goes around behind me like this.
And it goes up like this.
- It's already coming there? - It's coming to me.
- From here? - It's coming to me.
- Like this... - It goes around me like this.
It feels weird.
- It's coming back? - It's coming back.
It goes around me like this.
And it goes like this.
- Like this? - And...
Like this.
- It's already coming out! - Yeah.
I think I should shorten it a little more.
- Oh, I see. - Yeah.
I'm sorry, but I think I should cut it.
- Marriage? - Yeah.
I don't know where to start today.
What are you doing at home?
What kind of woman are you now?
Huh?
- What kind of woman are you now? - What do you mean "woman"?
I have a wife at home now, so that's enough for me.
- What? - What?
- What's wrong with you? - Is she your girlfriend? - No, I don't have a girlfriend right now.
- I'm looking for a girlfriend right now! - I'm looking for a girlfriend right now!
- What's wrong with you? - It's not like I'm married or anything like that. It's not funny at all.
- It's funny, but it's funny. - I'm married and I'm doing that?
- It's funny. - Who is it?
- What's wrong with you? - It's not funny at all.
- I'm Toshi Makuno. - Yes.
- I have a question for you since you left Tokyo in April. - Yes.
- When you're driving on the streets of Tokyo, there are a lot of people riding open cars. - Yes, there are.
- When you're driving on the streets of Osaka and you're looking at an open car that's moving slowly, you can't help but look at it and you don't think it's cool.
- Do you want to buy an open car? - Yes, I do.
- I don't think you do. - You don't think you do? - Yes. - Why?
- It's like a toy. - Yes.
- Why did you make a car like that?
- Do you want an open car?
- The other day, when I was driving with Nitta, there was an open car that looked a little old - fashioned.
- You know, like "we don't have tomorrow".
- Right?
- It's not that kind of car, but look at the back of it.
- There's like a basket in the back of it.
- Yes, yes.
- You know, like you see when you go on a picnic.
- You know, like you see when you go to an American park.
- It's so lame!
- That's not it!
It's like you're about to go into a mountain.
No, I don't mind if someone rides an open car.
What do you mean, "someone rides an open car"?
The guy I saw the other day is riding an open car, but he's bald.
Huh?
It's better for someone who doesn't ride an open car to hide their baldness.
If you had a roof, you wouldn't be exposed and you'd live with your baldness.
- Why aren't you wearing a hat? - Why aren't you wearing a hat?
You can't wear a hat in an open car. You have to wear a hat and a rubber band.
- Some people have cool baldness. - Huh?
Cool baldness? What kind of baldness?
You know, a bald guy like Takenaga-san.
- You know, a bald guy like Takenaga-san. - What do you mean?
- He's that kind of guy, so it suits him. - Oh, I see.
- What kind of rage? - You know, not the one that hurts you.
- Yeah, that's it! Cut it out! - Yeah.
- Like, forcefully! - Like, "You're this way!"
- It's weird! - I'm saying it's fine here!
- "No, you're this way!" - "This way, thank you!"
- He's got all kinds of ideas.
- I've seen this before in Shingane. It's only here and here.
- He folds it like this. Like a present. - I see, I see.
- Like this. - Like this, like this.
- And the worst one is the one where he folds it like a pie.
- A long one like this.
- But... - Like when you fold your pants, like this.
- There are some like this. - You only fit in here.
- You can't fit in here. You only fit in here.
- You can do something about it, though.
- Like the one before, you can only fit in here.
- Like this? Like this?
- You can't help it.
- You can stretch it out and drop it like this.
- I can drill a hole like this.
- I can drill a hole like this and pull it out like this.
- It's weird, isn't it? There's a bunch of hair in here.
- It looks weird! - Is it weird?
- There's a bunch of hair in here.
- Huh? There's a bunch of hair in your face!
The other day I was watching TV and I suddenly thought of something.
Often at the end of news there's "today's Dow average stock price"
Dow average stock price... what is that?
Now you two, think about it!
Chara chara!
This...
D-o-w... I'm sorry, really...
What is "dow"?
You don't even know what "dow average stock price" is?
What is it?
Huh?
What is it?
So, you know... there was a time when the bubble burst...
No, no, no... I'll explain what "bubble" is.
Huh?
Explain it!
The stock price was going up and up and up...
Do you understand so far?
Yes, I do.
The stock price was going up and up and up...
Yes.
So, real estate companies and such...
They just kept going...
What is that?
Real estate companies went bankrupt in Japan!
At that time...
Wait!
That kind of... bubble...
I'm interested in it.
Don't you think you're turning it into a hero?
I think it's easier for you to understand.
Wait!
Bororon...
Byon, byon, byon, byon...
Who's there?!
Buddy!
Go ahead!
Yah!
Who are you fighting with?
With that... grape seller.
Ah...
That's all.
There are many kinds of schools nowadays.
For example, there is a school called "Humor Jutsu School".
The catchphrase is "You are also a master of capturing people's hearts".
My mother says that in today's world, anything can become a school.
Mr. Matsumoto, what kind of school do you think will become popular in the future?
Have you been to school before?
- When I was little? - Yes.
- Solos and Jujitsus? - I don't know anything about it.
- What did you say? - You didn't say anything!
- Everyone said it! - Right?
- That's why I didn't want to say it. - That's not true!
When everyone finished school and went to play solos, what did you do alone?
- I played Jujitsu all the time... - You are so cool!
You must be lonely!
What do you eat?
- Well... - Is it "tebasaki"?
Everyone said it, but you said "tebasaki" instead of "denjutsu".
- That's... - It's not like that!
- It's not like that!
- It's "kyoushitsu". - Like "namari naosuto"?
- No way! - Yes.
- "Namari naosuto"? - Yes, yes.
Like "inagawamon" teaching you standard Japanese.
Standard Japanese is very popular.
Who are you teaching standard Japanese to?
Huh?
Tokyo people, right?
Everyone in Tokyo is a Tokyo person.
- By the way, are all Tokyo people like that? - Most of them aren't.
- Right. - Most of them are from the countryside, right?
- Right. - And most of them say "zura" when they go home.
- Really? - Right?
Tokyo people! I'm a Tokyo person!
When you look at them like that, they look like Filipinos.
I mean, we've been everywhere!
In this sticky Osaka area!
If you start a Osaka dialect class, you might be able to make it in Tokyo.
From your intonation.
If you can't say anything bad about yourself in Osaka dialect...
Right?!
You can really tell, right?!
I can, I can.
Man, it's cold.
It's not cold at all!
It's not cold at all.
Let me tell you!
It's so cold!
It really does look like it's cold!
That's right!
You think you're going to die, don't you?!
My stomach doesn't feel so good.
My stomach doesn't feel so good!
Pipia!
Look at you, you don't look like it!
What is this?!
It's fine.
It's fine?!
I don't want it anymore!
It's fine, isn't it?!
Where are you from?!
It's fine, isn't it?!
You don't want it anymore?!
Where are you from?!
"Where are you from?" and "kappa no kaa" are different.
Good evening!
It's the end of the day.
What we're going to do today...
Even for people who haven't seen it before, they should be able to watch it now.
So we'd like you to tell us what you think about it.
Well...
Let's do it!
Yesterday...
I had a stuffy nose and it was hard for me to sleep.
If you have a stuffy nose, look this way.
Kappa no kaa
If you have a stuffy nose, look this way.
It's all the same.
We're looking forward to seeing you!
We're going to say goodbye now.
Goodbye!