AISubs v3.5
In Gaki no Tsukai Arahen, Chikizuki's decisive Yamakuzushi grand operation!
Well...
What are you doing?
I'm continuing my practice.
I'm sorry.
It's a little difficult today.
Look at this!
This doesn't look interesting at all.
Idiots!
Now it's like this.
You two take turns.
If you fall, you lose.
For those of you who lose...
Well, it's like a punishment game, but...
There's something like that hidden in it.
The quality of your laughter is low.
Who is already out of luck?
So...
Please come over here for a moment.
Akashiya-san too.
Yes.
Kasuga-san too.
Yes.
Beat-san too.
Yes.
Shimada Shinsuke-san.
Nishikawa-san.
Tamori-san, Ucchan-nan-chan.
In the middle...
Who was that?
Bonjama!
You don't have to do it without me!
Hey! You!
Donjama!
I really don't think so.
There is one person who really thinks so.
Which one?
But you didn't get it.
Then say it again.
Actually, I think...
What?
I got it!
It's Margaret from Madome.
Last year, she was at a different place from what she really thinks.
Are you serious?
No, no.
Who do you think it is?
Why are you asking me that?
Oh!
It's me!
Hey, you!
This isn't right!
You...
You don't have any resistance at all!
No!
You didn't get it right!
I got it right!
It's gone!
It's me!
What are you doing?
It suits you!
It's me!
Put a "drink too much" sticker on the face of Akiko Wada who is drinking too much at a drinking party!
Ouch!
You know that sushi restaurant we went to before?
I think it's expensive.
Let's put it up there.
In front of the store.
But I'll go, but I won't put it up there because I drank too much.
You drank too much!
You know, the usual "drink too much" sticker.
It's not good.
I'm telling you.
Where should we put it up?
That's tough.
Where? Where? Where?
Let's put it up here.
Like this.
With this kind of momentum?
That's right!
With this kind of...
Let's put it up there.
With this kind of determination, I'd never put it up there.
You were so determined!
You had shit all over your shoes!
This is nothing!
Ladies and gentlemen...
I'm sure you know this, but when I work like this, I live in an apartment.
Don't you want to be noticed by ten people in an apartment?
That's right.
The other day, I rented an apartment in Osaka.
When I was about to leave, I heard a voice.
From outside?
From outside, beyond the door.
I looked in the mirror and saw a man and a woman hugging each other.
In front of your room?
That's right.
There are ugly couples like that in parks.
They hug each other like this.
They don't do anything and don't move.
There are people who say, "Are you deaf?"
There are people like that in stations, too.
There are, right?
There are people like that in stations, too.
They don't talk, but they hug each other.
That's weird.
They can't go out.
They can't go out, but I don't want them to notice me.
If they come out of my room, it's my room.
You've been watching them for a while.
I've been watching them for a while, but they don't move at all.
What's wrong with them?
They can't go out.
If they don't do anything...
I thought they wouldn't go out for a while.
I thought they shouldn't go out.
I thought I'd wait a little longer.
I watched TV for about 20 minutes.
I thought it was about time.
I went out and looked back.
They were kissing.
They were taking one step at a time.
It's better than this, isn't it?
It's better, but they were kissing.
Wait a minute. How about both of them kissing? Is it tough?
No, it's pretty tough for these two.
Is it tough for both of them?
It's pretty tough.
I can't get out of it.
They were doing something.
That's right. They were doing something like that.
I think it's tough.
It's tough, but I think it's tough.
We often see couples like that.
In parks and stations.
There are many couples like that in stations.
They are there.
A little dirty.
What about the beginning and the end?
I've never seen the beginning and the end.
Everyone is usually going home.
I see that, but what about when it starts?
The couple is walking down the street, isn't it?
I think "I'll send you to the station" will probably come.
A woman, you know? But it's a shame to say goodbye.
It's a shame to say goodbye.
Until you go to the police...
That's how it is.
If it's like this, how will it end in the end?
How will it end in the end?
If you keep talking like this, how will it end in the end?
Even if you kiss her, how will it end in the end?
Yes, that's how it is.
What's with the introduction?
But, you know, ugly, ugly couples do things like that, don't they?
It's usually terrible.
It's like "I've finally met you."
But, you know...
You know, there are weirdos like...
Like... What's with you?
There are guys like this...
Hey, you!
You're stupid!
Hey, you! You're stupid!
I used to do a show in Osaka from Monday to Friday.
I slept a lot. Do you know?
I went out about 41 times.
My tonsils were swollen.
I was so sick of it!
I don't know much about it.
So I slept a lot at home.
And then...
Ping-pong! Ping-pong!
I was like, "Who's that?"
But it was an old woman.
She's been here a few times,
but she's never been here.
When I saw the show today,
I heard she had a fever of over 40 degrees.
I thought she'd be here today, so I came.
Give me your autograph!
But it doesn't matter.
If you're over 40,
it doesn't matter who you are.
It doesn't matter at all!
There must be something lonely about sleeping.
I know, but...
I can't stand it.
I've never been found out.
About what?
You know, those big places.
You know, those small places you look for.
What about now?
Now...
There's only about eight people in there now,
but I haven't seen much of their faces.
Eight people?!
Only eight?!
There's about 60 people like me in there!
Are you a mammoth or something?!
My house is 5 hours away.
That's good!
Of course, of course.
That's good.
The manager is an old man and an old woman.
He's a little stupid, though.
At first, I said, "Oh, this is good."
Excuse me, how long does it take to get to the station?
Well, if you walk, it's 10 minutes. If it were me, it would be 5 minutes.
Why?!
It's the other way around!
When I'm walking down the stairs dressed like a bird, people don't come!
They don't come, but I'm walking people.
You guys, it's 10 minutes. If it were me, it would be 5 minutes.
Is the power on or off?
Do you have to come all the way to the station?
Well, if you don't walk, it's 2 minutes.
This is important, isn't it?
I can't stand it when I get a response line.
I've never slept more than 40 degrees.
I've noticed that I'm getting a response line lately.
When I first got a response line, I was surprised that I was sleeping more than 40 degrees.
I was so scared that I went home.
I thought it might be a cold, but I thought I'd just sleep.
For about three days, my fever went down.
I didn't like going to the hospital, so I only took cold medicine.
I was sleeping alone like this.
My father and mother were sleeping next to me.
I couldn't sleep because I had a high fever.
I opened my eyes at about 5 o'clock.
My mother and my father were talking.
They were whispering.
I couldn't stand it anymore.
I couldn't stand it!
I couldn't stand it anymore!
I think you should think about it a little bit, dad.
What do you think, dad?
Don't say stupid things there, dad!
I want you to say it!
I'm thinking about it, too.
Really?
I'm crying!
I'm thinking about my childhood.
I had a lot of fun.
Me, too!
Someone said to me, "This is a giraffe!"
When I got on the bullet train in Rome,
I saw an old woman in my seat.
She was wearing a mobile phone and a high-class kneeling pose.
When I came in, she wasn't there.
She was in her seat.
She was in my seat.
I was worried about what to do.
But I was an adult.
I was a young man.
She came back.
She looked like Masako Ohya.
Huh?
Your shoes are shiny.
Is that my seat?
Are you stupid?
Don't say stupid things there, dad!
Come here! I'm getting angry, you know!
And, you know, say "ciao"!
This is my lecture.
Say "ciao"!
What's up, Mr. Zamesque?
This is indeed the 10th monument, but...
Let me show you.
This is room 11. This is room 15.
This is room 11!
Room 11, right?
Room 15, room 11.
What? Wait!
This is not a car!
You're an eye!
You're talking like a queen, you know!
Wow!
You're rude!
You're getting bigger than you were when you talked to me before!
You're rude!
You...
Wah!
I can't stand you anymore!
Even when I listen to you, I feel nostalgic and happy.
Even when you listen to me?
Yes, always!
I was talking with a friend of mine the other day.
Do you know what he said?
When I saw his mother's legs shining with gold color,
I thought it was funny.
You!
I don't know what you're talking about.
But I know what you're talking about.
Your legs are shining with gold color.
Right?
It's hard!
Right?
It makes you excited, doesn't it?
Especially you and your mother.
Why?
Wah!
It makes you excited, doesn't it?
I love you!
Wah!
That's right.
I just remembered it, too.
What?
The other day, at the Warotawa Amagasaki Citizen Festival...
Oh, we were driven away to our birthplace, weren't we?
We were driven away.
It was an outdoor stage, and it was so cold, you know?
Yeah.
And on this side of the stage, there was like a dressing room, and I said, "Okay, Mr. Dantan, let's get started."
And next to the stairs leading up to the stage, Matsumoto's dad was hanging from the video neck...
(laughter)
And I said, "Oh, hi, it's been a while."
And I said, "Oh", and I faced the cameras and videos and I called you up, and I went up and I said, "It's Mr. Dantan!"
And when I got up on the stage, you were sitting in the middle.
(laughter)
It was a very, very nice seat!
So I got up and...
I was going to sit over there, but the girl who was in front of me said we'd line up at 3 a.m.
You were in there!
You were there, weren't you?
What's with you?
That's amazing, your power.
I got a call last night.
I said, "Have you heard about this?"
What are you talking about?
Did you stop me?
Look, I'm not telling you.
Move!
The other day, in "Gaki no Tsuka" and "Ara-hen",
Hama-chan said, "As long as there's yellowtail teriyaki,"
I can eat as much rice as I want.
Let's see how many times you can eat.
No, I can't do that.
That's what you mean, right?
That's right.
So, for the opening...
As long as there's yellowtail teriyaki,
I can eat as much rice as I want.
No, I can't do that.
No, you can't.
I'm just eating.
Even if you show me, I can't do anything about it.
Because you lied about that.
You can't eat as much rice as you want.
You're human. You have limits.
But you don't say "two or three times" do you?
Isn't it amazing if you eat three times what you usually eat?
How many times is that?
No, it's not "how many times", it's "three times".
I said "how many times" already!
Then how many times do you usually eat?
On average, about two times.
Two times?
More than that...
A lot!
A lot, lately.
I can't eat it anymore.
How big is it?
Something like this.
It's big!
Yeah, it's a lot.
I can't eat it.
But if it's a yellowtail teriyaki, things will change again.
Make me a lot of rice in the opening.
Do it properly!
I don't care!
Okay, okay.
I don't care!
Next time.
He's turning me down!
You can't do that!
Don't do it!
I was talking with my sister the other day and we had a quarrel.
I'm sure you had a big mole on your face.
Where was it on your face?
By the way, which of your eyes were smaller, Chiaki's, Naomi's, Kenji Sawada's or Kenji Nizuma's?
Ah, here it is, the mole.
Why is it there?
Where is Naomi Chiaki's mole?
Here it is.
Which one was it?
Is it here?
Where is Mr. Nashimoto's mole?
Mine was here.
Around here?
Why am I turning you down?
Around here.
Mr. Nashimoto's mole is here.
And...
Um...
Mr. Nashimoto's mole is here.
No, Mr. Atsumi's mole is here.
Sometimes I feel sorry for him.
If it's in a place like this, it's probably right.
It's probably wrong to say it's out of place.
It's scary, isn't it?
What would you do if you were with someone like him?
It's too late now.
What?
What do you want me to say?
I can't think of an answer.
Who said it?
Kuwata.
It's Kuwata!
Kuwata is... Kuwata is... Kuwata is...
[Promotion of the show]
[Advertisement of the show]
Promotion of...
the show...
Yes, let's do it again.
We made this video.
It's called "Downtown's D.U."
It's been a while since we did a comedy show.
There are tons of videos.
70 minutes, lots of it.
It's 4,900 yen.
When will it go on sale?
November 1st.
If you can, I'd like you to buy it.
Let's give this show as a gift.
How many people are watching this show?
97 people.
97 people!
That's right.
3 people.
3 people?
3 people.
It's really interesting.
I'd like you to buy it.
3 people are watching this show.
I'll give you a gift.
Here you are.
I'll give it to you later.
By the way...
Yes?
I'd like you to put a sea water sticker on it.
Yes.
You'll do it, won't you?
But you know...
You have bangs.
I can't put it on.
You can't put it on your forehead.
I'll put it on your forehead.
If you put it on your hair, won't it be seen?
No, it won't be seen.
You have to drop it.
What?
If you drop it like this, it might be funny.
But you can't drop it like that.
As I said earlier, the video is available on our website.
See you next week!
Goodbye!