AISubs v3.5
Which one of you is a fan of Shouka Taikai?
Sorry, sorry.
Well...
Today...
There's a monitor, right?
Yes, yes.
We'll put in customers now.
Yes.
People who came to see us today.
Yes, yes.
They come in.
Yes, yes.
We're watching.
Watching.
Oh, this is your fan, right?
Oh, they came in.
This is my fan.
Yes.
This is my fan.
This is your fan.
After making a decision...
Yes.
Let's go back to the stage and raise it up again.
Yes, yes.
Yes?
Wait a minute.
What kind of image do you have of my fans?
That's...
Tough?
It's tough!
And in other news...
This is your fan!
There's no doubt about it!
This isn't anyone's fan!
No, it's definitely not yours!
Someone brought you here!
Even if someone brought me here, I came because I wanted to see you.
I definitely want to see you.
Let me check this out.
Is this me?
No, this is Boo-chan. Pink Boo-chan.
Let's see...
I'm pretty into Boo-chan rice.
Huh? Rice?
Ah, this is your fan!
This is tough!
This is Boo-chan rice!
This...this...this is probably your fan!
Ah, this?
Yeah.
Ah, is that so?
This kind of thing is pretty...
It's a thick, entertainer-like jacket.
It's cool, isn't it?
I'm sure you'd like to wear it.
Ah, you mean me?
Yeah.
Ah, is that so?
I'm sure you'd like it, this young man.
What is this?! He looks like an old man!
Who is this guy?!
He's a fighter!
He's ugly!
He looks like a country bumpkin!
He looks like an old man!
He's definitely...
He's definitely an actor!
Wait! Stop the camera!
He's definitely my fan!
He looks like Simon Hozak's uncle!
Thank you!
When you came in, we were watching you from above!
From the monitor, right?
Each and every one of you!
We were watching you from above.
Sometimes, there are people who laugh at you from the camera!
Yeah, there were a lot of people.
There were a lot of people, but today, just like the title...
Yes!
We were wondering which fan you were!
Yes!
Now, the person we thought was different from Matsumoto-kun's fan is...
C-san!
It's you!
E-san!
Ah, um...um, sir...
H-san!
- Ah, you, you! - Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes!
- You, not me! - You, not me!
I guessed that you might not be a fan of Hamada- kun.
D-19!
- D-19! - Ah, um...the one with glasses! - Yes, yes, her!
B-6!
Yes, you are definitely not a fan of Hamada-kun!
D-11!
Ah! Um...um...her!
Yes, what is your name?
Um...Manjo and...Manjo and...
- Manjo and... - That's dangerous! You're making me nervous!
Who are you a fan of?
Hama-chan!
What about Hamada-kun?
His lips, you know?
What's with you?!
Just sit down already!
- What's your name? - Inagaki.
- And you are? - Hama-chan.
So, in the end, you just want Hamada-kun to beat you up?
Just a little.
Eh?!
Really?!
You're lying?!
Oh, you're a woman?!
Yes.
That's so cool!
Do you really have one?
Of course I do.
Touch her.
No, from here.
Huh? What?
Hey!
That's rude!
I thought you were a Matsumoto fan, but you're a Hamada fan.
I thought you were a man, but you're a woman!
That's right.
That's not fair!
How old is she?
She's...
How old are you?
I'm twenty-one.
Oh, twenty-one.
She's definitely your fan!
That's kind of like...
My heart isn't here.
Put it down for a second.
You're both fans of her, right?
Huh? Hamada-san?
Oh, it's the other way around!
That's such a big lie!
Oh, is it?
She was a big fan of Hamada, wasn't she?
That's right.
She was.
She was a big fan of me and Matsumoto.
She's been like that ever since she joined us.
What's your name?
I'm Yoshida.
How old are you, Yoshida-san?
I'm twenty-two.
Put it down for a second.
How old are you?
I'm twenty-one.
How old are you?
I'm twenty-two.
No, no, no...
I'm twenty-one.
Shut up!
Who are you?
I'm Matsumoto.
Matsumoto?!
Liar!
There's a lot I'd like to know about you, but...
Go ahead.
I'm Yoshida.
How old are you, Yoshida-san?
I'm twenty-four.
How old are you?
Matsumoto-san.
See?!
I got it wrong again!
What's this about?
I... I want you to beat me up.
Yeah, it's tough. It's hot and my body is shaking.
Yeah.
But Lupin-kun... Lupin-kun!
What's up with you?
I didn't think you'd come here today.
I'm not Lupin-kun!
Don't push me.
I'm not used to this.
Really?
If I squeeze you a little, will you become Lupin- kun?
No, that's not possible.
I'm dying of boredom right now.
Yeah.
I'm making a video right now.
It will be released soon.
This is interesting, isn't it?
Everyone, you have to buy it without renting it.
It's almost permanent.
This is interesting, isn't it?
I don't think everyone knows this, but...
We've been doing manzai since we debuted, right?
We've been putting in a lot of other manzai.
Recently, we've been blowing this in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And in the meantime...
This is interesting, isn't it?
I can't stand it anymore.
Just thinking about it makes me cry!
Right?
Because, you know, I got Inugami.
Inugami.
It's not a dog, it's a robot.
You're the professor who made Inugami?
Yeah, I'm Inugami professor.
It's just like that.
A dog, a dog, a robot.
That's just a normal dog.
Something like that.
I got it from a TV show.
A dog, a dog, I want it to be a robot.
Teach me.
A dirty dog is better.
But hunting...
Animals can't do good things.
Yeah, you know, with Inugami...
With Inugami!
With a cape...
It ran away.
It says "deco" and "v" on it.
I'm an alien...
Yes, you are.
I have one arm and one leg.
I was trying to catch it, but...
It ran away!
It ran away with a cape and a shield!
It couldn't come back!
I looked for it for about two hours, but it couldn't come back.
People who are walking normally...
Get on!
I was surprised.
It got on like that...
It's almost complete, but...
I hope you all buy it.
I'm thinking of doing this animal series for a while.
Are you thinking of the second one?
I'm thinking of the second one.
Yutagete
I'm really going to do it, but...
Why is it "yutagete"?
It's "gorilla-sensei".
Sensei is a gorilla?
Sensei is a gorilla.
But we really admire that sensei.
But he's a wild gorilla, so...
It would be interesting if you said something good about it, but...
I can't say "sensei"!
But I'd like to do the second one of this animal series.
But I'm a little tired now, so...
I'm sorry for talking so much.
But Tsuyuya said that...
I'm not talking!
Please take it out.
I was surprised!
Why?
Are you hungry?
I'm hungry!
Sanma-san and Kanpei-san happened to be on a quiz show.
It's a product that allows you to be on a popular Japanese TV show.
Oh, so you happened to be on this show?
How was your time with Sanma-san?
It was fun.
You also did a skit with him, didn't you?
That's right.
Amemaman!
With Kanpei-san, right?
Yes, with Kanpei-san.
What do you think of Kanpei-san?
He's a wonderful person.
You think so?
Yes.
Do you have anything in common with him?
Is that so?
You don't?
You're cute too, but Kanpei-san...
Am I cute?
He really likes sex, doesn't he?
When he went to Korea, he did it for 24 hours!
His wife got angry and said, "Let me eat at least!"
You're crazy.
Oh, I see.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
I'm sorry.
Oh, you scared me.
Now, let me introduce you.
This person is Takada-san of Itabashi-ku.
The other day, he saw Kin-chan running in a marathon.
What are you talking about?
Oh, don't say that!
I've never seen it before.
I've never seen it either.
During the show, people who were good at Kin-chan running were recruited.
Ama-chan, please come out.
This will be interesting for me, won't it?
No, you can't.
It's been a while since I've done something like this.
You're nervous, you can't do it.
This corner is for you!
They even gave me an address.
If you can do it, let's do it.
Right?
Let's do it.
Before that, can you eat a whole rice?
You can do it right away.
Can you eat a whole rice?
I'm not waiting for you.
Are you waiting for me?
No, you can't.
No, you can't!
Let's race in the neighborhood. You're good!
I'm not good!
You're good!
Hang in there!
You're good!
I can't do it!
You can win for sure.
I'm an amateur!
What are you talking about?
Are you a professional in the neighborhood?
Everyone in front of you is an amateur!
I want an amateur who watches TV to do it.
Do it now!
You can do it!
Hang in there!
Come on!
See! It doesn't come out!
Try it! Try it!
But it doesn't come out!
There's no way it doesn't come out!
I don't really use Nostradamus.
Well, I don't know about that, but I don't think it actually does anything.
Because Nostradamus is a jigsaw puzzle!
Like, "What does this moon point at?"
Who decides that?!
Like, "What does this alphabet line up and read backwards?"
Like, "Why does it read backwards?!"
No, no, no! That's, well, long history!
There's no such thing!
I thought it might be like that.
No, I don't think it's like that.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So, how many more years until Earth?
Um, what year is it now?
1900...
Is it 1991 now?
1 year!
8 years until Earth!
What will you do 8 years from now, if that happens?
What will you do?
I won't let it happen!
You know, Chagrin...
The big Earth, you know...
If it explodes, will there be any debris left?
Do you think you'd be able to get on it?
You know, you...
Do you think you'd be able to get on the debris?
Because that's what I said!
You said it, and it ended up like this!
You're the only one who's excited about it!
There's no one else, but you're the only one who's excited about it!
You're in trouble!
You're wrong!
I'm angry!
Why is that?!
What's wrong with you?!
It might be debris, but I don't know if there's any debris left.
You know, I'm alone, and I don't know what to do...
But even over there...
There's a lot of stuff floating around...
There's no one who can do that, no way.
What are you talking about?
I mean...
There's no one who thinks they're going to break into pieces when they get up there.
I don't think I'm going to, but I don't know if I'm going to make it up there.
Well, if you happen to notice you're up there, you know...
How do you know?
How do you move forward when you're floating like that?
What do you mean?
Can you move forward when you're floating like that?
Of course I can move forward when I'm floating like that.
You're moving forward with your own will, aren't you?
You haven't studied aerodynamics at all, have you?
No, you tell me. I don't know, so I'm asking you.
This is what you do when you go this way.
That's right! That's right!
This is what you do when you go in the direction you want to go in.
That's right!
How come you don't know?
How do you know when you want to move forward?
What do you do when you want to go forward?
You can't go forward.
What?!
You can go sideways, but you can't go forward.
But in the end, you can go forward.
How do you...
This is sideways, isn't it?
You can do it like that.
But you're going like this.
If you push it a little bit this way, it becomes like this.
You can't do it like this!
You can't do it like this.
What do you do when you want to go backwards?
I told you! I told you to go forward!
What's wrong with you?
Try it!
Earlier you did it like this, but now you do it like this!
Don't lie to me!
You can't do it like this!
Don't say things like that!
But no one said you could explode, right?
In 1999 you said something was falling from the sky, right?
Yes, yes.
What was falling?
That's why you look like an alien?
Are you laughing, alien?
Of course I'm laughing!
What?
That's harsh!
I'm not laughing!
Of course you're laughing!
It's falling from a completely different place, so of course you're laughing!
You're laughing like crazy!
I'm telling you, you're laughing like crazy!
What's with you?
Are you laughing?
Of course I'm laughing!
Then it's not a problem, right?
I'm laughing, but I'm saying that I got this land.
But people are killed.
Probably.
What are you talking about?
It's not my feeling, you aliens!
I want to go home, but I can't see.
I don't think I have eyes.
Having eyes is a human way of thinking.
I definitely don't have eyes.
What shape do you have?
Hands and feet have eyes, but that's a human way of thinking.
I don't think it's like that.
You can't walk like this, can you?
I can't walk like this.
I don't think it's even a shape.
What shape do you have?
What?
I don't have a shape like this.
You definitely don't.
It's a lump. A lump, a lump.
Right?
It's a lump, but there's something about it.
What do you mean "something"?
Something like this.
I don't know what you're talking about, but there's something about it.
What is it?
Is it your hands?
I don't have hands!
What is it?
What?
Where is it coming from?
From here.
Where is it coming from?
What?
Where is it coming from?
From here.
From here!
It's common for aliens.
What is it?
Hamachan, you're so manly.
What is it?
I don't know what it is.
I'm scared when I see it for the first time.
It's not that scary.
It's scary when I see it too.
It's not that scary.
Yes, yes.
It's scary.
It's my first time seeing it.
Yes, yes, yes.
But I've seen it before.
When I caught an alien who came down from a dragon.
I saw a picture of it being caught.
I know about it.
But there's not one kind of alien.
Oh, is that so?
There are many kinds of them.
I'm sure it's one that's similar to humans.
Maybe...
Maybe my senses are this big.
But it could be different.
It could really be like this.
That's my sense.
I could be like...
If I were a human, I'd be this big.
It could really be like this.
It could be as big as 50,000 people.
This little alien could be 50,000 people.
I don't know if it's human.
No, I don't know if it's human.
I don't know what they're doing right now.
They could be this small.
If there were 50,000 of them,
they would be scattered all over.
Could they be stuck somewhere?
Yes, yes.
Could it be stuck somewhere?
It could go in your ears.
Yes, yes, yes.
Right?
It's scary.
Right?
I'm scared.
Such a little one.
I think it's screaming "thorn!" now.
Because it knows I'm here.
Maybe it's already in you.
Maybe it is.
I don't know.
For example, you pick up an ashtray and pick it up.
Maybe it's under the ashtray.
Maybe it's hidden.
So from now on, when you pick up an ashtray, you'll be like "Nimiken".
It's better with paint.
It's better with paint, everyone.
So everyone, you see, when you pick it up, you're like "Pah!".
You're pretty relieved.
You're relieved.
Ah, I'll pick it up again.
So pick it up once and say it.
You know, you should do that from now on.
Don't say that behind my back!
Well, it just happened.
Hey you!
Hello!
Well, Kin-chan is running.
All of a sudden?
What's with that?
All of a sudden?
Is Kin-chan going to run?
No, no.
This is not something I can say today.
What is it?
Do your best.
Well, I...
I'm not going to the studio.
Why not?!
Chief, why are you doing that?
Well, it's not like I'm going there.
I'm going to support her in front of the TV.
Oh, is that so?
Well, this is one of the new...
Wait a minute.
The new event is your rice ball, isn't it?
Even if you put all of your effort into this, it seems like the rice ball has collapsed.
It collapsed?
The rice straw.
I know you can do it.
You can do it.
No, no, I'm too old for that.
You're too old for that.
OK, let's practice.
Next week's opening...
Hold the ground somewhere.
What are you going to do for next week's opening?
So, you know, you run all the time on the ground.
I'll bring you to the city.
Yes, yes, yes.
Put a tire on your waist.
My mother came and my assistant came.
It's all the same.
I'll be waiting for you here.
So, don't give up.
Goodbye.
Sorry.
I'll do my best.
No, you can do it right away if you do the ground.
Kamemaru, kamemaru, kamemaru...
You can do it right away if you do the ground.
Kamemaru, kamemaru, kamemaru...
You can do it right away if you do the ground.
Saitoumaru, kamemaru, saitoumaru...
You can do it right away if you do the ground.
Chalking in the rain...