AISubs v3.5
So we're going to have a dodgeball match between Japanese and foreigners.
- I see. - We're going to do that, but...
- Yes, yes. - Before that...
- Yes. - Let's do it for now.
- That's right, that's right. - Yes.
- Well, this is quite difficult. - I see.
- For example, when you cross this line... - Yes.
- Kabaddi, kabaddi, kabaddi, kabaddi... - Kabaddi, kabaddi, kabaddi, kabaddi...
- Yes, while holding your breath... - Yes, yes, yes.
- So, since it's dodgeball... - Yes, yes, yes.
- Our team... - Yes.
- This garagta... - Yes.
- This garagta and bonfra... - Yes.
- They're amazing today. Look at them, cameraman! - These people...
- They're the handball club of Sanyo Sokai. - Oh...
- They're playing well. - Yes.
- I heard earlier... - Yes.
- You throw a ball... - Yes.
- And you hop it. - Do you call it "hopping"?
- "Ah, it's coming! I'll catch it!" - "Catch it! Catch it!"
- Yes. - This is a little...
- No, but you know... - Yes.
- Even though it's a TV show like this... - Yes.
- I don't want you to do it lightly. - No, I'll do it seriously!
- I'll do it seriously for the rest of my life. - Yes.
- But there's one thing I want to say. - Yes.
- We're... stars. - Yes.
- That's all I want to say. - Yes.
- But like you said earlier... - Yes.
- The rules... - Yes.
- We need a judge. - Yes.
- The judge of the Japanese Dodgeball Association... - Yes.
- Mr. Tomioka. - Yes.
- Please come in! - Actually...
- You don't look like our Suga. - Yes.
- Mr. Tomioka... - Yes.
- Mr. Tomioka... - Yes, yes.
- You're our judge today. - Yes.
- How many people are there outside? - Four people.
- Four people? - Four people.
- So we're four people, too. - Yes.
- So we're four people earlier...
- It's not you! - It's you!
- Four people!
- Well, I'm not sure about either of us...
- I'm not sure about either of us...
- But we've been together for ten years.
- But we're still together, no matter what we do!
It's good, isn't it?
We always live in the same house.
And in other news...
(laughter)
(screams)
(unclear)
(screams)
(whistle)
(laughter and screams)
(whistle)
(unclear)
(screams)
(whistle)
Ouch!
I'm scared.
Ouch!
(unclear)
Watch out!
It's hard to receive.
From the side...
(unclear)
I received it lightly.
Shut up!
Ouch!
What are you doing with that ball?
Shut up!
7 to 0.
The winning team is this team.
(applause)
Ladies and gentlemen...
(applause)
Well, well...
It's like that.
It's funny.
You're all doing well.
Well, we're doing fine in terms of time.
Oh, really?
We're doing fine in most cases.
In this time of year?
Of course we are.
We have a lot of free time.
What's more annoying than Golden Week for us?
It really seems like it.
It's really annoying.
While people are resting, we have to work until morning.
That's right.
What?!
What do you mean?
We don't have this kind of free time.
No, we don't.
We do.
But you say it all of a sudden.
And when we have free time, we feel sick.
That's right.
And in the end, we don't sleep at all.
When we wake up in the morning, we have a lot of things to fold.
What?!
(laughter)
You're annoying.
You're really annoying.
Well, you know...
I'll say it in my head.
It's finally decided.
What?
We'll play dodgeball.
Oh, you've decided on dodgeball.
On Saturday, the 18th...
Yes, yes.
At Yomiuri Land.
Yomiuri Land...
We'll play at Yomiuri Land, the second round.
Yes, we will.
We will.
And we'll play at Bulmar.
The girls will play at Bulmar.
Yes.
It's a first come, first served order.
It's not a first come, first served order.
Well, it's in Kitamonjun.
Oh, I just heard that first come, first served order.
Well, it's not a first come, first served order.
I don't know if I should cut this part, but please bring me a lot of money.
You know, I went to Okinawa last September or October, didn't you?
Next time is the 100th anniversary, isn't it?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's about time.
It's not the time for you to do it for the 100th anniversary.
But I'd like you all to go abroad for a while.
And, you know, it costs a little.
Well, if you bring me 1,000 people...
But, you know, I'm not asking you to give it to me.
It can't be helped that you drop your wallet while playing dodgeball.
- That's right. - It can't be helped.
- If you don't even write your name... - That's right.
- It can't be helped. - We won't be able to keep you.
- That's right. - That's why we're going to Hawaii.
- That's good. - Oh, I mean...
- It doesn't matter. You can go with us to Hawaii. - Oh, that's good.
- Let's go on a tour. - Take me with you.
- Oh, let's go on a tour. - Yes.
- I'll go over there. - You don't go much.
- Don't limit yourself to "you". You're a woman, too, and you want to go.
- You know, Saijo Hideki does it, too.
- Even if you go like that...
- After all, you meet up a little at the airport...
- And then there's like a little dinner show at night...
- And then you go home and you're like, "I'm broke." There's a lot of that.
- I hate that kind of tour.
- It's always the same.
- Well, you know...
- What?
- You're thinking about all kinds of things, aren't you?
- It's always the same. - How much of it is the same?
- It's the same even when you go.
- Take me with you to the mountains!
- Well, I always ask you this, but...
- Out of all of you who came today...
- These guys are usually like that.
- One more thing...
- Why do you say "these guys" to the guests who came?
- I really don't trust "these guys" at all.
- Really...
- And yet you say "these guys" to the guests who came...
- You say it all the time, don't you?
- You say it with a warm heart...
- I'm a person who says "no" to "no"
- You say "no" to "no"
- I'm sorry to say this, but I'm a big fan of those who don't say "no" to such a simple request - Well, that's true, but...
- Look at the girl wearing glasses in front of you. Will she cry if she dies? - Why should she not cry? - Right?
- No, I'm asking you! - Right? - Right? - She won't cry, right? - And you? - She won't cry! - Right?
- Why should she not cry in front of you? - But I don't hate her or anything like that...
- That's why when I was at the venue, I was really shocked... - What are you talking about?
- You don't have to talk so seriously in a place like that... - It's true that I felt like I was going to die...
- I was shocked, but I don't know if I would have died in a place like that... - About six months ago, I was at the venue, and the president... What is it called?
- The face maker... - The face maker... - The heart... You know, it's not beating, but... He was pushing the machine...
- And... - "I'm moving with the machine!" - "What are you talking about, president?" - And I said, "try touching it"... And when I touched it, it really had a machine stuck in here...
At the time, he had a weak memory.
Can you do it in such a moment?
So, president...
Do you have such a strong memory?
Yes, I do.
But, suddenly, president's movement became like this.
Like this.
He walked like this with all his strength.
He walks alone.
Well, it's good.
No, it's not good.
But...
No, it's not good.
What is it?
But, like I said before...
What is it?
The world will think it's you if you do something.
No, it's not me.
The other day, in this program...
What did I say?
When I was playing as a girl in the background...
I fell down trying to shrink.
The other day, I was doing make-up for Fuji TV.
A girl in make-up came up to me and said...
Mr. Matsumoto, you are terrible. You dropped a girl in make-up.
Why do you say like that?
Do you think I'm like you?
I've never been like you.
What?
Don't say like that. Stop lying!
You've been like me a lot!
No, I've never been like you.
You...
You've been like me about three times.
I'll put it in my credit card.
Look at me. I'm an old lady who's been working on the flow of water.
It's long!
But it's hard work.
What were you doing last night?
I was at home.
It's been a while since you took a day off.
What were you doing?
I was at home.
What were you doing?
Huh?
What were you doing?
I was playing outside.
What did you do?
I was playing.
Who did you go with?
Huh?
Who did you go with?
With a friend.
Huh?
A friend, a friend.
A friend with long hair?
No, my hair is long.
Oh, a friend with short hair?
Do you want me to cut it?
No.
Do you want me to cut it?
No, it's fine.
Are you wearing skirts?
I'm not wearing skirts.
Huh?
Oh, pants?
Yeah.
Huh?
Were you walking around and not being looked at?
Like, "Hey, you!" and stuff like that?
No, no.
Well, well.
I was being looked at, you know.
Huh...
What are you two doing?
Well, we're not men.
Huh?
We're not men.
Oh, come on.
That's enough.
I saw you two.
How long were you together?
An hour?
No, two or three hours.
That long?!
It's noon, isn't it?!
You've been in the park for 2 or 3 hours?!
Yeah.
What have you been doing in the park for 3 hours?!
I was playing badminton.
And?
And what happened after that?
And I was playing with this bat.
You were playing with it?!
You can't be two men playing at the same time. Everyone thinks like that.
We're not two men.
What?
I don't know.
What do you know?!
You don't like moving around like that.
Why do you know?!
You can't be two men playing at the same time.
That's what girls do, isn't it?!
I was playing baseball.
Where are you throwing it?!
Sorry, Kii-kun!
Hey, you're strong!
I didn't call you "Kii-kun".
Then what did you call me?!
I don't care about that.
Why is your face red?!
I don't care about that.
My face isn't red at all.
It's red!
I haven't said anything yet, but...
I'm actually a red ranger.
You have long legs.
Are you from the general public?
Oh, I see.
It's been a while, hasn't it?
Yes, it has.
You didn't have many children, did you?
Yes.
My hometown is Akita and I'm from Aomori.
What's going on with you?!
Your father is the chief of the circus!
What's going on?!
I'm not the chief!
I just wanted to see you.
Hey, don't make a promise!
What do you think of my brother?
Thank you very much!
There is such a thing, isn't it?
Yes, there is.
Now, this person is a little famous.
What? A little famous?
A little famous?
No, no.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. A little famous?
No, no.
What is it?
It is clear in this program.
What is it?
There is something wrong with each other.
Don't take that kind of thing for granted.
I will never say that.
Yes.
Don't do it.
Even when I watch TV, even if the person says anything...
Yes, yes...
Even if she says "Here is the police station", I won't say it.
That's right, that's right...
Even if you watch TV, you will still say it.
You will say it.
Even if I say "what?!" you wouldn't say it?
You wouldn't say "no Frage", you wouldn't say it?
So...
Stop it!
I understand.
Do you like this?
Talent Best Ten That I Don't Want To Use For Advertisement
Among them, "downtown" was ranked 9th.
That's right.
This is what I heard from the publicity director of the top 350 companies.
So it's pretty solid data.
There are only good companies, right?
That's right.
Basically, I don't want to appear in commercials.
It's a lie to make sweets that are not delicious look delicious.
However, this is what happens.
That's right.
This is what happens.
Yes.
This is pretty serious.
Well, it's sad, but it's not bad.
Oh, it's coming.
It's coming, but...
It's coming.
It's coming, but...
It's really bad.
Yes, yes, yes.
I heard this a long time ago.
It's a commercial for destroying Kagoshima.
I don't know what kind of route you came up with, but what's so sad about it that you're standing in front of the destruction chair?
Well, I wouldn't say it's a car, cigarettes or whiskey, but...
Destruction chair...
What are you going to do with it?
I don't know.
You're going to stand in front of the destruction chair and do something?
But I'm going to say it a little bit.
I've heard of it before.
Commercials, especially food, are all about your mouth.
Oh, really?
If you don't have a sharp mouth, it's no good.
Really?!
Yes.
If you go from there, the problem is...
Why is it?
Because of these crooked lips of ours, they destroy everything.
They eat our dreams.
Because of these crooked lips of ours, they eat our pride.
In other words...
Wait!
We've had these lips of ours for 27 years now.
It's not like we're crooked, is it?
Not at all!
Sometimes...
Sometimes I think, "What?!"
This is wrong.
That's why we can't eat.
It doesn't matter, you idiot!
That's why we can't eat.
It's not like that!
It's crooked and bad.
It's not bad!
It's crooked.
It's not.
It's crooked.
It's thick.
You're purple, too!
You're crooked, too!
Is it crooked in color or shape?
Shape is crooked.
It's normal.
You're crooked and you're drooling!
Hey...
I'm telling you this because you don't listen!
Shape is crooked.
Seriously...
This one time...
We were doing house music in Osaka.
It was really tough.
It was late in the morning.
"I'm tired!" I said.
The car jumped out and I was about to go home.
I was about to go home.
I said "I'm going home."
It's not like that!
You said the same thing, too!
Did I say I was going home?
You said you were going home in an hour.
That's your fault for saying something like that!
If you said something like that, I wouldn't have done a commercial.
No, you're right! I'll admit it at least once!
What is it?
When you complained about the Honda Dio voice commercial...
I only complained about it back then!
You know, there was a Honda Dio.
A bike, right?
And this guy said...
Hana-san, please speak a little louder.
And this guy said...
Honda Dio!
No way!
Hana-san, please speak a little louder.
Yeah, Honda Dio.
Huh? But they're competing!
Hana-san, please speak a little louder.
Which one is it?!
What?!
They're all so excited!
The guy who just brought black tea is all excited, too!
What is it?
I'm sorry, but I can't help it.
Oh, come on!
It was his fault back then!
You're the one who said it!
There's no way he'd say something like that!
It's got nothing to do with him.
He said it for his voice.
There's no way he'd say something like that again.
What are you talking about?
What?
It's your birthday!
Oh, I'm sorry!
Happy birthday!
Oh, it's his birthday.
What are you doing?!
You said you were going somewhere today, so you said you'd buy me a present, didn't you?!
You said you'd buy me a present, didn't you?!
What do you know?!
You're right! I forgot! Did you see it?!
I brought it! I did!
I left it there and you came and said "good work" and took it.
This box is for you, Ucchan.
No! This is my fault!
Sorry, Ucchan watches this every week. I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Why do I have to go through that place?
Take it! Take it!
That's gross!
With that said, the date and place of the Dojibol tournament have been decided.
That's right.
Saturday, May 18th! Gather at 11am at Yomiuri Land's second round.
The reception will start at 11am.
On the day of the second round, we'll have a match-up team and an amateur team.
You can decide which team you want to be on.
Everyone, please put on your boots and gather at Yomiuri Land's second round on Saturday, May 18th at 11am.
We'll prepare the horse-drawn carriages.
A thousand horse-drawn carriages...
That's 8,000 of them!
Also...
Assistants...
Horses...
We're looking for them.
The addresses are all the same.
In a place like this...
You're so funny!
Let's talk about something else.
Everyone, please gather at 11am.
Thank you for your hard work!
Mazuo-san!
Mazuo-san, let's play today!
It's getting wet...
This program was brought to you by the following sponsors.