AISubs v3.5
I didn't say anything!
Let's have the audience join us for today's opening.
Oh, really?
It's going to be dawn this year, but even if we do it like New Year's, it's too late.
Well, it's better to have a lively opening, isn't it?
That's why we're doing it like this.
I see.
There are two more people, right?
Oh, yes, yes.
Let's have them join us. Thank you!
In the middle.
Please introduce yourself.
I'm Nitta. Nice to meet you.
I see.
You're Nitta, so make him think you're Nitta.
You're Nitta.
Shut up!
Look at him. He's already become a comedian's eye.
His face when he's laughing.
It's like he wants to switch from being a staff member to a comedian.
Please introduce yourself.
I'm Otomo.
Shut up!
Let's make it a little more interesting and funny.
Can't you do it?
Are you stupid?
Let me ask you for one thing.
Yes.
Our staff member Otomo and our manager Nitta.
Yes, yes.
Let's have them join us.
Yes.
This is my team.
Otomo and me.
Oh, I see.
You hit me and hit me.
Now, what is it?
Yes.
So, one of you from the other team sit down.
Yes, yes.
Yes, Nitta, sit down.
And Otomo, you sit down.
Face forward!
And you know, you wear a helmet.
Yes, yes.
Nitta, too.
And I'll hit Nitta.
And you, Otomo, hit her.
Yes.
Please guess why Nitta was hit.
Yes.
Otomo, too.
Please guess why Nitta was hit.
Yes.
Okay?
Do you know what you're doing?
When you were hit, you didn't know why you were hit.
You didn't do anything wrong.
What are you doing?
It's not a reason, it's a thing.
It's something.
You didn't know what you did at that time.
Do you really think like that?
The show is brought to you by these sponsors.
What is it?
Say it, what is it?
Please don't say "from now on"
Otherwise, you'll be nervous all the time.
Let's do it.
Let's say "from now on"
You like it very much.
It's over, you can't do it again.
You have to do it.
You'll be damaged.
From now on!
Wait!
What is it?
No...
Let's do it!
You're a superman, Haruko.
Let's do it!
One, two...
Hit me, hit me!
What is it?!
A telephone book.
A telephone book?!
Yes.
A telephone book.
A town page.
Very shame!
Why do you think like that?
Because of its heavy weight.
You are a comedian!
For example, a town page...
Yes.
Like this.
Yes.
No, it's a town page.
Is it OK?
Yes.
It's a town page, isn't it?
Yes.
Start!
Oh, thank you.
Next, a motorcycle book!
Yes.
Let's go! One, two...
What's up with you?
What's up with you? You're getting popular this year.
No, I'm just practicing my moves.
Ah, I see.
I see, I'm fine.
Hey, you startled me!
What's that?
You named the goods yourself!
What's with that "pyopyo" thing you wrote?
Okay, so it's correct, right?
Yes, it's correct!
So I won, right?
Yes.
Next up is my turn.
My turn.
So I'm Nitta.
And Otomo is Matsumoto.
I'm Nitta.
This is scary!
What's wrong with you?
No, I don't like it!
Don't push me too hard!
Hey!
Why don't you answer me?!
I'm Otomo!
Hey, you!
I'm not angry if you don't answer me!
I'm Otomo!
No, Otomo will answer you later, but I'll give you orders later.
Don't push me too hard!
Um...
Tell me you want to go.
Yes.
You're always thinking about talent!
Wait!
What's going on?!
What are you trying to hit me with?!
You shouldn't do that!
Hey!
Fine, fine, fine...
I have a hangover.
Oh, a shop!
My glasses!
Here we go.
One, two...
Can I take it now? Can I take it now?
Yes, you can.
Hmm...
Where is the tip of this?
Where did it really go?
Don't hide it!
Look at my face!
Look, it's red! If it breaks like this, it'll turn red right away.
Hey, I'm begging you!
I'll give you two points, okay?
Okay.
Sit down.
Close your eyes.
I'm scared, friend!
He looks like an editor or something.
What?
Hey!
Shut up!
Thanks.
That was Hamana's speech.
I know.
Let's go.
OK.
Let's go.
Ha-ha-ha!
What?
Is it possible?
Forget it.
Oh, I see.
I don't know!
It looks like a robot!
This is it!
Cinema is...
It's something like that!
No, it's not this!
No!
No, probably not!
Definitely not!
It's not on this table!
It can't be helped.
Kid, come here.
You hit Matsumoto in the head!
How could you do such a thing?!
Come here!
That's...
Let's do it together!
What?
Let's play rock-paper-scissors.
Sure.
Shall we?
Come here.
You two sit here.
Face each other.
This is your helmet.
Do you know how to do it?
Yes, I do.
If you bend it?
Yes.
Let's do it!
Hit, wear and play rock-paper-scissors!
Wait!
It hurts!
Stop lying!
It hurts!
Bend it diagonally!
You...
You're dangerous!
From above!
Take off Nitta's head!
Look at this!
If you lose, you should wear a helmet.
Hey, I'm telling you, you don't know how to do it.
Let's go without a mat.
You'll find out.
Let's go.
It's okay.
Right?
Do your best.
Aren't you scared?
One, two, hit it, wear it, rock-paper-scissors, come on!
That was amazing.
You should wear a helmet.
That was amazing.
You looked like a boss when he took your bank transfer.
Ladies and gentlemen.
That was great.
Thank you.
It's not like we have a set from this year.
Today we have a little...
Opening.
Opening is a little...
That's right.
But it's our first time this year.
Oh, is it?
So, how about it?
What?
How about it for this year?
Don't you have anything in mind that you want to do?
Like, quit smoking.
I can't quit.
Let's quit smoking, either way.
That's what you think, isn't it?
Why are you telling me that?
Let's decide what we'll do.
I don't like that!
I really don't like it.
Can you quit smoking?
I'm not saying I'll quit smoking.
I'm not saying I'll do something else.
If you say it like that, you know...
You'll be forced to do it this year.
She says she'll lose weight, too.
Right?
What do you think?
You know...
I don't eat meat.
Let's do it.
I don't like meat.
Really?
Yes.
Definitely?
Don't point at me.
You definitely don't eat meat?
No.
Okay.
"Okay" and "so what?"
Really.
Don't say "okay" and "so what?"
If you say you don't eat meat at home like this, it's over, right?
Even if I really don't eat meat!
I don't get in the car.
Then I'll move.
Ah, I'm tired today, too. Thank you for your hard work!
It's funny, but...
That's a little impossible, isn't it?
And...
Cigarettes are impossible, too.
If you're going to smoke, why don't you try it?
Cigarettes?
Ginger?
You don't trust me, do you?
Do you think I do?
Yes.
Do you think I betray you?
Yes.
Do you think I betray you?
Do you think I betray you?!
If you say something like that, I'll cut you up.
Hey, shut up!
Well, you know...
Your way of talking is funny.
You're amazing.
But now I'm going to talk properly.
Hey!
Pattern one.
So...
Cigarettes are impossible, but...
No, no...
Cigarettes...
Do you want to smoke?
Yes, I do.
Since when?
What?
Since when?
Well...
Since I was born.
You still have seven months, don't you?
Yes, yes, yes...
I don't know.
What?
I don't know.
I don't know, but...
You should quit smoking.
Why?
Smoking...
When I look at you like this, you look like you're quitting smoking.
What are you saying?
What kind of face is that? Smoking and looking like you're quitting smoking?
You don't look like you're smoking.
Do you want me to show you how you smoke?
You don't look like you're smoking at all.
I'm like a dandy man.
Why do you say things I don't understand?
Why do you look at me like that?
What?
Why do you look at me like you're quitting smoking?
Because...
What?
Because smoking is whitey.
Hey!
I don't care about smoking.
Do you want me to hit you in the head...
or do you want me to quit smoking?
Either of them.
"Quit smoking" is a little harsh.
I say "quit smoking" every day...
and it's harsh.
You...
Idiot!
I don't care about it.
If you put up with it, my stomach will hurt every day.
I don't want you to put up with it.
I say "quit smoking" every day.
Now I smoke about...
85 packs of cigarettes a day.
I'm not joking. I'm serious!
Idiot!
How can you smoke like that?
I'm not smoking!
Hey!
Why do you say things I don't understand?
I don't care about it.
I say "quit smoking" every day.
- You're lying. - I'm serious.
I'm pissed off.
Do you really smoke a gas pipe?
I don't know about that.
I do, I do.
I won't say anything.
- It's okay to put up with it. - Yes.
- Do you smoke? - Everyone puts up with it.
- And cigarettes? - Yes, yes.
If you say "quit smoking"...
Why are you smoking in a room like this?
- You know... - Yes?
- Science is getting more and more advanced. - Yes.
But that's a problem, isn't it?
- In the past, you know, on the phone... - Yes.
- You know, when you're angry... - Yes.
- You fight on the phone, right? - Yes.
- And you get mad and get angry. - Yes.
- You can't do that now, can you? - Why?
Because you're all wearing cordless phones now.
- Well... - Enough!
- Well... - You can't do that, can you?
- And, you know, when science is getting more and more advanced... - Yes.
- You know, when you're angry... - Yes.
- You fight on the phone! - Yes.
- But in the future... - Yes.
- You fight on the phone! - Yes.
- Well... - Well...
- You're so uncool! - You know...
- Well, I don't know if you like it or not... - Let's cut it.
- Yes.
- Today you have a long stroke. - My stroke is long, isn't it?
- Hello. - Oh, you can see my dirty butt, can't you?
- Here, here. - You're weird!
Oh, you're an actress!
- What's funny about it? - No.
What kind of role do you like?
Well, in a movie or TV show...
- A role where you have to tear off your nipples. - No, that's not funny!
But you can definitely be a big star!
What kind of role is "tearing off nipples"?!
- What kind of role is "tearing off nipples" in a movie?! - You don't know?!
- I don't know! - Matsumoto Seicho's...
"Nipple-cutting woman"!
I said I don't know!
I didn't know about this at all.
You didn't know? Thank you for coming.
Thank you very much.
- What will you do with this? - I don't know what you'll do with it.
- This person... - Hamada-san. - Yes?
- This person sent this for you. - What is it?
- She's a 19-year-old student. - Yes, yes.
In a previous broadcast, we talked about how a man can...
How do you say it?
- How a woman can bear the pain of giving birth. - Yes.
I've heard of it, so please try it if you like.
- This is... - Why am I doing this?
- Well, you know, it happens with women. - Yes.
- I think it's better for you to feel the pain of a woman. - Yes.
First, pinch the lower lip with both hands.
- I pinch it? - Yes.
Second, pull it forward.
Third, pull it harder.
Fourth, pull it a little harder.
Put your lips on your head. Can you do it?!
It's open, but it doesn't bother me.
That's what you call pain?!
- Is this for real?! - It's open, but it doesn't bother me.
You're kidding me.
- Shall we stop now? - Is it over?
- Is it okay now? - It's okay now.
- What time is it now?
She said she'd go home as soon as it was over.
Oh, I'll go home as soon as it's over.
- I have to go to Lawson. - Why?!
- I have to go shopping... - It's been 24 hours!
Why do you have to go shopping in such a hurry?!
- Lawson... - Are you stupid?!
I was just about to eat my lunch.
It's fresh out of the oven.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That means someone is making it.
If you're really alone, come and see it!
Why?!
You really can't come and see this?
Oh, you want me to do it next time?
You said it, didn't you?
What is it? What is it?
If you say something like that, you really want me to do it?
I asked you if you wanted me to do it.
Then let's do it!
Why are you hiding it?
You think it's me?
I know!
This is your first show this year, right?
Yeah, well, it's the 8th.
Well, yeah.
Will this show continue this year?
It will!
Oh, will it?
Of course it will!
Everyone, thank you for your support for this year as well.
We haven't done anything yet, but I'm sure the viewers are wondering what we're going to do next.
Yeah.
So let's do something more to meet their expectations.
What is that?!
Why don't you say it at the end?
What am I supposed to say?
Come on, say something!
It's been two years since we've seen each other.
Why don't you say something at the end of this show?
What am I supposed to say?!
I have to say it!
What am I supposed to say?!
I have a lot of things I have to say!
First of all, thank you for your support for this year as well.
I have a lot of things I have to say!
What am I supposed to say?
That's what I'm talking about.
I don't want to say the things I say when I'm on a show, but what am I supposed to say?
How many years have you been doing this show? Ten years?
Who are you?
How many years have you been doing this show? Ten years?
What am I supposed to say?
I'll leave it up to you until you say goodbye.
I understand.
Thank you for your support for this year as well.
Thank you!
Is it over?!
I feel like I'm touching you.
Well, it's always like this.
Until we meet again next week...
Goodbye!
At least I'm not stuck until next week's "This Time".
I'll leave it to you.
Next week's "This Time" is not "This Time", it's the ending.
It's not "This Time" when we're doing this show, it's "This Time".
What?!
I'm sorry.
Is it good?!