AISubs v3.5
With the extreme use of kids (pun)
chiki chiki aiming for a million yen virtual target
I'm glad
Then, please explain
This is
eh, uh
This is like
Until about three years ago
I liked this wig
You had put this huge wig on
Until about three years ago
I do like it now
- We use it a lot. - Yes, we use it quite a lot now.
Has anyone seen this before?
- Kondo Masaomi. - Yes, Kondo Masaomi.
Well, that's his pattern, but this is Harimoto- san.
- No, it's Kin-chan. - It's Kin-chan, isn't it?
Let me tell you how we're going to do it.
We're going to impersonate him.
- I see. - We're going to parody him.
- That show itself is a parody of him. - Yes, yes, yes.
So we're going to parody him and give him points.
- And you have this, right? - Yes, I do.
- Well, I'm going to wear this. - Yes.
I'm going to wear this and go inside.
And I'm going to go up like this.
- You're wearing this, right? - That's right.
- If you get more than 15 points, you pass. - You pass, you pass.
So, for example, if you stop below 15 points,
you'll hear a sound like "foooon" or "too bad".
So I'm going to stop within 15 points.
- Oh, you're not stopping for now. - I'm stopping.
- Then you'll hear "foooon". - What's with this costume? I don't like it at all!
It's slippery! It's slippery!
- The audience is going crazy. - What is this? What is this?
- And for me to go up this high, you have to roll me over. - Wow!
- You're rolling me over, right? - I'm rolling you over.
- What's with this costume? I don't like it at all! - Yeah.
- It's like this? Are you embarrassed? - Yeah!
- Everyone's going crazy. - You're rolling me over.
- So you go up like this... - Yeah!
- And you wear this wig... - Yeah!
- And you wear makeup... - Yeah!
- And you put on this costume... - Yeah!
- And you have this mic... - Yeah!
- And you have this mic, and you're drooling... - Yeah!
- And you're nervous and you come out... - "It was good".
- And you come out like this... - "Give me more."
- "Give me more!"
- And then you go like... - "Foooon, fooon, fooon, fooon, fooon, fooon!"
- "Congratulations!"
- It's perfect.
- So, you know...
- There's a hanging health machine next to you...
- You use this...
- And you go up to me.
- Oh, I see. - Yeah.
- Like this? - Yeah, yeah.
- You roll me over to some extent...
- And you give me strength... - Yeah.
- And you go up by yourself.
- So I wear this and roll you over?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Like this? - Yeah.
- This is nice.
- You're wearing a suit like this, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Well... I'm glad! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- With your eyes drooping... - Yeah.
- You can do it. - I can do it. I can do it for sure.
If I pass the audition, I'm confident that I'll win a million yen.
- Oh, really? - The judges may not know it.
- Yeah. - Oh, I heard it was like that before. - Right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Well, in that case...
- Yeah. - I'll give him a hard time.
- Ha, ha, ha! - You know...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - It happens all the time. - Oh, really?
- You should take Rolls-Royce with you. - Ha, ha, ha!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Ha, ha, ha!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Well, I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
Yes, yes.
Sorry for keeping you waiting for such a long time.
It can't be helped. It can't be helped.
Right?
It's not anyone's fault.
It's Zennikku's fault.
Ah!
It's true.
It took me an hour and a half.
I was on a 3 o'clock plane and I was already quite late.
It was like "bing bong bong bong" and...
It's cold.
The 3 o'clock plane to Tokyo leaves at 4 o'clock.
It's a little...
You're lying!
You're kind of gloomy!
I'm gloomy!
I'm hungry!
You're kind of gloomy.
In the end, I was an hour late, but 30 minutes later, I was an hour and a half late.
When you arrive, you're busy again, aren't you?
That's right.
When I got on the plane, I got on it and it was annoying again!
When I got on it, I was surrounded by kids.
In front of me, behind me, next to me...
It was annoying!
I'm angry!
I can't stand kids!
Why?
It's annoying!
It can't be helped!
I'm happy!
Well, well...
I can't stand it!
It's annoying when you're next to me, but when you're in front of me, behind me, and then you're on the left and right, I can't stand it!
What? In the seat?
That's right!
I'm surrounded!
Surrounded by kids!
I'm surrounded by kids!
And the old man behind me is angry!
He's angry, too!
That's what I'm talking about!
It's very low temperature!
I've been suffering for an hour!
It's very cold!
It's very cold here, but it's hard!
Recently, the old man...
It's okay for a kid to say a lot of things, isn't it?
Oh, I see.
When I was a kid, I paid attention to the old man.
I thought, "If I stab him, I'll lose."
You still haven't told him, have you?
Recently, even the old man is fine with it.
Don't say anything selfish!
You see, the old man is laughing, too.
Yes.
And in front of me, there's a shelf like this.
There's a lot of juice in there.
I'm thirsty, can you get me some?
It's everywhere!
Wow, you're a real hard worker!
What's with you?!
That instrument is disgusting!
If it wasn't for my dad, I'd have dropped it off at "ready, set, go"!
It's fun!
It's true...
I whispered it in his ear and dropped it off.
Ready, set, go!
There's something you can't forgive, right?
Recently, you've been spending a lot of money on instruments and fashion, right?
Yeah, you're right about that.
There's something you can't forgive, right?
An instrument's wristwatch!
You can't forgive it that much!
The other day, it was like that!
What was it, Jiro-kun?
Oh, in a show...
There's a guy who looks like a pig in Tokoro-san's show!
In elementary school!
He bought an Anro instrument for 18 yen!
That's right.
Really?!
He put a watch on it and made the diver lose his strength!
I'm in trouble!
First of all, you have nothing to do with time!
I don't!
I don't care about that!
What will you do?
You have absolutely nothing to do with promotion!
No, really!
I said this at the beginning of playing the instrument...
You can't let an instrument sit in green!
How much did it cost me to sit in green?!
Right?!
You bastard!
Recently, there's a lot of instruments in green!
The bullet train...
But the instruments are small and green is a little big...
Right, it's a bit lazy...
It's amazing!
It's like a president!
It's crazy!
It's like a stone phoenix!
The other day's instrument was really pathetic!
It was like...
And he put a watch on it...
Sometimes, like this...
At night...
Brothers and sisters...
Like this...
My sister...
Because it's pathetic...
She doesn't look this way...
She looks this way!
This is annoying! Putting it here is annoying!
No, but she's looking at an adult. Everyone is copying her.
Like this, right?
Yes, yes. It doesn't matter to me at all, but when I was on the plane...
I was wondering...
It's been a while since you've been on a plane, hasn't it?
Well, well...
No, but there's a reclining, right?
You knock it down, right?
And when you land...
They say you have to raise it, right?
Why?
No, it's dangerous, right?
No, it's not dangerous!
It's like this...
What's dangerous about it?
Huh?
Well, if you get a shock...
No, even if you get a shock...
Wouldn't it be better if it was like this?
How do you know that?
Well, like...
If you're about to be blown forward...
It's dangerous, right?
Even if it's like this...
If you get a shock...
It'll go like this...
It's dangerous, right?
But, like...
If you smoke...
Why do you know that?
When you land...
You don't know that either, do you?
Why do you know that?
Either way...
When you land...
Doesn't it go like "gakun"?
No, I don't smoke!
So, when you go "gakun"...
You go "ah"...
And you land...
And you get a sunburn...
"Buuuuhhh"...
It doesn't hurt at all...
It's dangerous, right?
Because you smoke like this...
It goes "gakun"...
And you fall forward...
And you get shot by the man in front of you...
And you get burned...
What's with you?
It's dangerous, right?
If you go "bam"...
The wig on the other side...
It's dangerous, right?
Flies off...
Does it go like that?
Why do you like wigs now?
In this world...
Everyone...
They say it...
So it can't be helped...
They're silent...
But there's a lot of strange things...
Like what?
Two people...
Riding bicycles...
Oh, but you stopped me, didn't you?
Why do you know that?
Someone answer me!
You don't know, do you?
"Come on...
If you say that..."
That's because it's dangerous for you...
And you can easily clean it up...
If that's the case...
Two people riding bicycles are more dangerous, aren't they?
But it's okay for you...
To wear a helmet...
And wear a helmet...
And ride a bicycle...
But there's people like that...
But you're a kid who goes to a country school and you're wearing a helmet...
And you still can't ride a bike?
That's what I like about you!
That's why! That's why!
You wear a helmet and ride a bicycle and say "what?"
But you still can't ride a bike even if you wear a helmet and say "what?"
Get back here!
Then why do you ride a bicycle... A helmet...
Why can't you ride a bicycle and ride a bike?
That's what I like about you!
That's why!
Why can't you ride a bike and say "what?"
So you can't ride a bicycle...
And you can't ride a bike alone!
But you can't ride a bicycle even if you wear a helmet and say "what?"
I don't know!
By the way, you looked like a yakuza today.
You're saying bad things about people!
I just got on the plane and it's still moving!
I just landed on the plane and it's going to fly for a little while.
It's still moving so please wait for me on the seat belt sign.
It's still moving!
Sir! Sir!
Sir! The plane is still moving!
It's because I'm late!
You were looking at me like that?
What is this?
No! If you stop and say "here you go" I can't get out of the seat!
I'm in a hurry.
We were in the back seat.
That's why I said "I'm in a hurry."
Then you said "Are you late for work?"
I said "No, I'm not late for work."
That's not how you say it!
I'm not late for work because I'm late!
Let's go.
Here you go.
Hello.
Don't you have anything today?
I don't have anything.
Really?
You applied for it yourself, didn't you?
You didn't apply for it yourself!
You don't have a stock anymore.
How many do you have?
Twenty-two.
You're smiling a lot.
Why? Are you stupid?
Is that how you say it?
It's against the rules.
Really?
You can't wear this.
When did you decide that?
If you wear this, you can't wear anything else.
What are you talking about?
You can't wear this.
Where do you think you're going?
In the end, everyone sees this part of you.
If you didn't wear it, would you look like this?
No, I like this part of me that turns black.
But you can see it from here, can't you?
I can't see it.
What are you talking about?
Thank you for coming.
Now, let me introduce you.
Good evening.
I heard that in Osaka there is a machan called "blackies"
Is it true?
No, it's not like that anymore.
You know, they don't look good.
All four of them are wearing black clothes.
It's weird.
And I'm ugly.
I like people like you.
You know, when I was a fairy girl, I liked ugly girls.
What?
I liked ugly girls.
Even though I like ugly girls, I still like ugly girls.
At that time, there were only about ten fans.
When I was away from ugly girls,
Are you ugly?
Go home!
Go where? Go where?
What do you want?
What do you want me to do for you?
Are there girls who use such cowardly hands?
Today, I have a request.
I would like you to give my grandfather a nickname.
My grandfather is seventy-six years old.
He's completely out of his mind.
As soon as he's out of his mind, he gets up and runs around the neighborhood with his dog.
And in the middle of the road, he hits a lightbulb and says "sell it!"
The neighborhood kids call him "boke" from Iwasaki.
But it's not funny, so please give me a good nickname.
By the way, "boke" is not a joke, it's a real "boke".
Well, I can't follow an old man like this anymore, so I'll call you "grandmother".
Wow, old man, do you agree with that?
Well, I'm very tall. I'm 186 centimeters.
Wow.
That's why I stand out even more at school or on the train.
Well, I'm a high school girl, so I'm fine at school, but I'm looked at a lot on the train.
It's embarrassing! I really hate it, but there's nothing I can do about it.
Even old women in the neighborhood say, "You're so tall, you can't get married."
What can I do to stand out?
How old are you? One hundred and six?
I'm Ikeno Medaka.
I have one more thing to say, but if I say it, you'll cut me out.
I'm the director, Saito Kago.
What do you think?
Well, you know, I'm short.
But girls like you are fine with guys shorter than you, right?
It doesn't matter if a guy cares about you or not.
That's right, that's right.
There's no problem with girls, right?
Yeah.
But you know, girls who are taller than you are fine with that kind of sex.
Really?
That's what guys want, right?
Taller than you...
I'm glad you said that!
Why do you always say that?
I'm glad you said it!
It's just a simple question! What do you want me to do?
I've never dated a woman who's taller than me, so I don't know.
Why don't you say it?
But guys don't want that.
Guys don't want that.
But guys don't want that.
They want to have sex with girls who are taller than them.
Or they want to have sex with girls who are not shorter than them.
Oh, so you're going down?
No, I'm going up or down, but I feel like I'm going back in time.
You...
If you're going up, you're a man.
What's up there?
Huh?
What's up there?
A name?
A target.
A target?
You're a fucking old woman!
But you have feelings, don't you?
Isn't it fine if it's a female?
No, it's fine.
You can think of it as a female, but...
A target?
No, it's a target.
Well, it's a bit of a target, but...
Isn't it?
If it's a female, you can think of it as one.
Why not?
How old is a female who was born in the first year of the year?
One year old.
I'm one year old.
Well, if you're over ten years old, you'll be fine, won't you?
Can you eat it? Can you eat it?
It's not grilled meat.
You'll be fine, won't you?
Yes, I can eat it, I can eat it.
It's fine, it's fine. Can you eat it? Can you eat it?
Yes, yes, I can eat it, yes.
Next...
Which one should we go for?
I have one, too.
Oh, really?
The other day, I went to Shinjuku and saw a downtown T-shirt for 500 yen, so I bought it.
500 yen?!
But when I got home, it said "downtown" and under that it said "hamada hitoshi matsumoto masatoshi".
If you know anything about "downtown" or anything like that, please let me know.
You'll be fooled.
I have one. A cassette.
You have it with me.
It's Sada Kenji, isn't it?
Sada Kenji's best album!
That's right! The two of you went to buy it.
That's right! There are about 20 songs in the cassette.
If you look at it, it says "katteni shiagare" and "darling" and "tokyo".
Let's go home and listen to it together.
That's right! There are about 1,000 yen in it.
It has all the hits in it!
It says "sada kenji zaizenshuu".
That's right!
It's cheap!
I went home and opened the cassette and it said "katteni"!
I went home and opened it and it said "katteni"!
I don't know why, but it said "katteni"!
If you look at it, it says "suzuki jiro".
Who are you?!
That was the worst!
It's cute, isn't it?
Let's listen to this one.
"Tokyo".
"Katsura-chan".
Since I started summer vacation, I've been going back and forth to Alta every Monday and Thursday.
That's when I felt something.
When my fans call me 'hama-chan' and shout 'hama- chan' at me,
they wave at me and say 'doumo' at me,
but 'matchan' says 'shikato' with all their might!
Do my fans hate 'matchan'?
By the way, 'nitta-san' also says 'shikato'!
There is a blue 'shikato' for a manager, but what is it like for a person who wears a blue 'matchan'?
By the way, I'm not really 'matchan'.
Then who are you?
My real name is 'ota souichi'.
What?
I'm not 'matchan'.
I'm 'pinto' Kane.
Ota!
Oh!
Oh, you're right.
Then should we go with this next?
Yeah, let's go with that.
What do you guys call you?
What?
Like 'okkun'.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, it seems like it will be more popular in your neighborhood.
The opening scene is like this, you know, Hina- san, if you look at it, it's like Hinaria's thing, but if you look at it all of a sudden, you'll get hit in the face, right? This is a very high possibility of winning, it's a strong impact, in a sense, it's like a spurt.
What are you talking about?
You don't know either.
Huh?
You don't know either.
No, really.
Well, for now, let's win.
Yeah, yeah.
I think it's better to think about how to spend a million yen.
Yeah, don't spend it on the show.
Well, I did it on the show, so I'll do it on the show.
And then, uh, assistant.
Yeah.
It really seems like it's a little less now, doesn't it?
No, I don't think it's possible.
Really?
Well, I think it's been like this for a while now.
Uh-huh.
Well, we haven't been recruiting recently.
I see.
Uh-huh.
Well, moreover, uh, we're recruiting assistants here, so please send them here as well.
Yes.
Uh, we don't have a lot of them now, so I think we'll get a lot of them if we send them.
So it's terrible that we can't send them now and get them.
We're recruiting more and more assistants.
Yes.
And, uh, we're waiting for a lot of questions and answers.
Yes.
Please send us more and more of your questions and answers. They're all the same.
"With that said, this has been Downtown's "Gaki no Tsukai" for next week. Goodbye!"