AISubs v3.5
Chiki Chiki Manga Dojo!
Get out of my way!
I'm sorry.
One more time.
Chiki Chiki Manga Dojo!
My name is Hamada Masato.
Nice to meet you!
Chiki Chiki Manga Dojo!
Now, let me introduce you to our guests for today.
First of all, next to me is Ms. Ebisu Yoshikawa!
Nice to meet you, Ms. Yoshikawa.
Nice to meet you, too.
I didn't even know what time this show started.
And next to her is Ms. Ito Miki!
Nice to meet you!
Have you ever been to a manga dojo like this?
No, I haven't.
What was your grade like back then?
Well, for now, I wrote what I was supposed to write.
Are you making fun of me?
Nice to meet you!
Now, next to me is Mr. Matsumoto Hitoshi!
Nice to meet you!
I'm not good at drawing.
You're lying!
I do draw a lot, though.
I'm not good at drawing.
Of course, drawing and drawing are completely different.
I'd like to give it a try, but...
Here is the first question!
Is it okay?
Look at this. You all have it in your hands, don't you?
Yes.
It's a cross sign.
Yes.
This flip.
Now, using this cross flip...
Yes.
Let's draw a summer... a summer picture diary!
Well, for example...
Wait a minute...
Please don't get angry!
Like this...
Oh.
Ah...
This is a summer cocktail...
Ah, I see.
Something Hawaii, right?
It's shaking...
Everyone...
Now, please draw!
Here you go!
What is it?
Well, if Miki-chan were a man, she'd hit him, right?
Ah, is that so?
Eris-san, you know...
If you were a cartoonist, you'd be acting, too.
Now, let's start with Eris-san.
Eris-san, go ahead!
"I went to the pool" is what it says, but...
What kind of picture is that?
Well, in the pool...
Yes.
There are exactly four of them...
Yes.
Um... I swam here and there...
I see.
Next to it, there's a fish swimming...
Yes.
Next to it, there's an octopus swimming...
Yes!
And here...
Um...
There's a person swimming...
Ah, you're stupid!
Now, shall we go with Miki-chan?
Yes!
What about you, Miki-chan?
What is it?
It's a peach ball.
It's a peach ball!
You're crazy!
Well, first of all, it's summer, right?
Yes.
It's a summer diary, right?
Yes.
Well, I'll use a X.
It's hot!
It's a summer diary, it's hot!
It's delicious!
I'll give one to Miki-chan.
Yes, of course.
Well, shall we move on?
If you get all of them, what will you get?
The top prize!
That was a good question!
The one with the most X's gets the top prize!
Yay!
The moment you say "it's the top prize!", everyone over there will clap and say "congratulations!", and this segment will end.
Yes, of course!
If you win the top prize, you'll get a bonus for the bottom prize.
Now, this!
You all have it, right?
This hot spring marker!
Using this hot spring marker...
You'll draw circles!
Right?
You'll draw circles and then you'll write "something with a X" on your head.
For example!
Something like this!
Kaminari-oyaji (thunderous old man)
That's right!
Miki-chan, you're Kaminari-oyaji (thunderous old man)
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Why do you spin?
What are you doing?!
Spin, spin, spin!
My eyes are spinning!
Please be quiet!
Now, Flip!
Who came up with this idea?
Now, Flip!
Here you go!
Now, using the taste of hot springs,
let's draw something that spins and sticks to your head!
Now, let's go!
First...
Elise-san, please go ahead!
Um...
This is a kappa.
Um...
The sun is shining on my head...
Um...
I'm out of water...
Um...
It's painful and I'm spinning.
A kappa!
This is pretty good, right?
Yes!
Are you a little scared?
Um...
Now, Miki-chan!
A spinning stone.
Um...
It's hot in the summer, right?
She drew a spinning stone.
Now, it's spinning!
But it's hot in the summer,
and there's steam coming out of the stone.
You idiot!
You said you wouldn't touch girls earlier!
Now!
Yes!
This is perfect for me.
A round one like Kanos-kun.
Yes, this is good.
Um...
A light woman.
No, it's a round one.
This is, um...
I'm hungry and I'm spinning.
You idiot!
That's you!
You're not being spun by people!
You're spinning!
You can't say "yes, yes, yes" like that!
I'll give one to the three of you.
*sigh*
It's over.
Ladies and gentlemen...
So, um...
Today...
Um...
Shut up!
Last week I told you, right?
I've been thinking about various new program projects little by little.
Yes.
I've been thinking about various new program projects little by little.
But there are good ones, right?
For example, what kind of...
I'm sure this will get 60 or 70 views.
You idiot!
You can't do that!
I'm sure it will.
60 or 70 views?
I'm sure it will.
What kind of program is it?
I'll make a crane and make it look like a big stone.
For example, like a big stone like this?
Yes, yes, yes.
And, um...
Yes, yes, yes.
And, um... there's "nittere" below it.
You're doing "nittere" on top of it, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
And I'm going to drop that stone with a "ten count".
On top of "nittere"...
I'm going to drop it right now!
Zero!
Bang!
Gaaaaah!
Like that.
Gaaaaah!
Like that.
You idiot!
What? What?
Make a proper show!
A show...
Why are you doing it?
No, seriously, I'm thinking of one thing.
Even as a kid, I wanted to experiment with it.
Um...
The smell?
The smell of "conte".
I'm going to prepare a big pipe like this.
And we're going to do "conte" here.
And the smell is going to come out of it.
Ah, I'm embarrassed.
If you say "no" like that, the smell of stone will come out of it.
This is a win. It will definitely go up.
I'm embarrassed.
Why do I have to go see a show and turn into a smelly soldier?
I want to go home with a smile on my face.
When I leave the house, I'm like "what's going on?"
I'm thinking about the second part of the show.
Is that episode one complete?
Episode one is complete.
There's an old man who's a salaryman.
His family is all warm.
But he's sick.
Meanwhile, there's a lot of crying and begging.
There's a lot of fighting in the family.
There's a lot of fighting and begging.
He's like "I'm not going to die!"
But in the end, he turns red.
He turns red.
He goes to the hospital.
It's dangerous.
His family is all together.
Dad! Dad! Wake up!
The host is there too.
Meanwhile, there's no laughter.
It's serious.
When it's over, it's just a normal drama.
Right?
His dad is like "argh!"
Dad! Dad!
His dad is like "argh!"
Only a few seconds left!
The host is like "argh!"
I don't know if it's spicy or not, but in the second one, there's a couple.
But their parents are against their marriage.
They can't get married.
So they run into each other.
But they end up dying.
Like in a suicide mission.
And they drag each other for an hour.
Yeah, yeah.
For real.
They hold hands and jump into a rock.
And they fall down.
And they don't fall down at all.
It's really sad.
They fall down.
They fall down and go all the way down.
And they explode.
Are you a monster?
Like in this game.
Who says "are you a monster?"
I don't know.
It's like when you're driving and someone says "are you a monster?"
Hey, you!
I don't need that.
I'm thinking of episode three.
Yeah, say it.
The police dog.
Yeah.
The police dog.
The story.
The police dog story.
I want to make a good police dog.
Yeah.
And I'll train it.
I've raised it since it was a puppy.
Yeah, that's right.
That's how you sell it.
Yeah.
And I've been treating it for years now.
I want it to be a good police dog.
Yeah, I feel sorry for it.
I feel sorry for it.
You can't see it without tears.
Yeah, you can't see it.
And in the end, it's time for it to become a good police dog.
A good police dog.
Yeah, yeah.
And for the first time...
An accident.
Yeah.
That dog.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah.
It's called Carl.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's Carl's first job.
Yeah.
And all of a sudden, there's a thief running over there.
I know.
Carl, I found you!
And Carl said "wait!"
Bam, bam, bam, bam...
Stop it!
Animals, you know...
Why have they been made unable to speak but one word?
Like "gagan" and "nya"
I think "yagi" is the most pathetic of all.
"Torini no yo" means "mei"!
It doesn't make sense!
"Wan" and "nya" don't change!
"Wan" and "nya" are better, but "mei" is worse!
"Wan" and "nya" don't make sense!
"Wan" and "nya" don't change!
"Wan" and "nya" don't make sense!
By the way, you know...
There's a name for animals that are made unable to speak.
What is it?
"Hotaruika" (squid with fireflies)
What's the name of it?
There was a squid with fireflies.
They decided to name it "hotaru" (fireflies)
Right?
Excuse me, but this squid doesn't have fireflies.
It's "hotaruika" (squid with fireflies)
The feelings of "hotaruika" who decided it like that...
It's painful, you know?
Can you stop talking about it?
I want you to name it "hotaruika" more seriously!
It doesn't make sense! Why would you name it like that?
Are you thinking of a name for your child?
No, I'm not!
What are you thinking of?
Come at me!
What are you saying all the time? "Come at me!"
What are you saying all the time?
I'm hungry!
If you come at me, I'll hit you!
I don't think it's a good idea for a talent like you...
...to step out of the audience seat and come at you.
You've been doing that for a month now!
Are you stupid?
If you step out of the audience seat and come at me...
...I won't laugh!
How can you say that?
You're not an adult, idiot!
I'm doing my best and you're making a fuss.
I told you not to make a fuss.
You're terrible.
Don't say that.
I told you I was about to die.
I'm a customer who pays to come here.
No matter what happens, I'll do my best...
You're laughing!
You have to make me laugh.
I can't do that.
There are 15 minutes for each month.
For example, "Hanshin Kyojin" is 15 minutes.
"Saburo Shiro" is also 15 minutes.
"Nikuyo Kuro" is also 15 minutes.
All of them are 15 minutes.
I'm also 15 minutes.
You have to do manzai for 15 minutes.
You go out and do manzai.
If you don't listen to me, you can't go home.
You have only one minute.
I'm kidding.
You can't go home.
What's that supposed to mean?
I'm always serious about my feelings for comedians.
You guys shut up!
And I'm always wearing a stage costume.
Alright, let's do it again today.
And when I'm on stage, I'm like "Will I win or lose?"
Wait a minute!
Seriously.
I've never worn a costume like that even once.
That's what I'm thinking about.
Will I win or lose?
That's what I'm thinking about.
I'm like "Oh, I lost!"
That's what I'm thinking about.
And you know, that's not necessarily a bad thing.
But sometimes,
I'm on stage at 1.15 pm.
And I'm told to go in 30 minutes before the show.
Sometimes, I have to go in alone.
I go in alone and do a manzai performance,
and when I go out,
Hey, you idiot!
Get out of here!
You have to tell me when it's 1.15 pm!
I know you're going to say it, but...
Why am I...
What are you wearing?
What?
What are you wearing?
Why are you wearing a stage costume?
Why don't you sit in the audience and watch your performance?
What?
You idiot!
What's wrong with you?
Why are you so late?
Who's older? You or me?
It's you!
You're older!
You know, in Osaka, from 4 pm to 1 hour,
we did the show all day,
on Mondays and Fridays.
Live.
For an hour.
So at 4 pm, when the opening song was playing,
we'd come out of the door and say, 'Hello.'
And the show would always start.
What's wrong with you?
It's a live show!
Did you call for a live opening song?
If you're up, come on!
You woke up at four in the morning, didn't you?
You watched the opening song at home, didn't you?
It's four in the morning.
When I went there at four in the morning, they said, "It's four in the morning."
It's four in the morning.
Is it open?
It's open.
It's like that, you know.
Come on, it's your turn.
You know, I've apologized many times, but you know...
You know, there's this guy called Rollers, who plays songs.
He calls me up and says, 'Why don't you call your partner?'
I say, 'I'm sorry.'
What? I'm an actor, and time is important!
Come on!
"Hey!" I say, "You're here, aren't you?"
Even if you're mad at me, I can't help it.
Well, I guess I'll leave it at that.
Oh, thank you very much.
The next day, I'm fired.
Why are you calling me?
Hey, why are you making that face?
Time is important during a game.
Well, you're here, aren't you?
Even if you're mad at me, I can't help it.
Oh, thank you!
Oh, hello.
Hello.
You're not here today, are you?
Oh, are you?
Are you an ordinary person?
What's your name?
Matsumoto Ueno.
Matsumoto Ueno?
Matsumoto Ueno.
How old are you?
What are you doing now?
Oh, you're a student.
These students who come out like this,
what do they come out for?
Well, I get it.
You idiot!
Well, let's do it again.
"Let's do it again"? What are you talking about?
Thank you very much.
I have a question for Hama-chan.
Can you talk without using Osaka dialect?
Talk with me, Matsu-chan.
You're from Osaka, aren't you?
Osaka dialect is quite different.
Do you use standard Osaka dialect?
Yes, I use standard Osaka dialect.
Oh, that's good.
That's good.
It's been really hot lately.
That's right.
What time did you arrive in Osaka today?
Well, I arrived in Osaka at 12:48.
What time did you arrive?
Oh, it's already three hours later!
Oh, you're persistent!
I wanted to talk earlier, but I couldn't.
But I can still do it. You can definitely do it.
I... I can do it.
Really?
It's the truth.
What did you do last night?
Last night... I was on the radio.
Oh, you were on the radio?
I... I was with you!
You're an old man!
You know, it's impossible for an old man to be born again.
It's nostalgic.
It's impossible.
But you can do it for about a year.
That's right.
You can do it.
It's about time you got used to it.
That's right.
Then, shall we talk in standard Osaka dialect until the end of the day?
Yes.
- Good? - Yes.
- Um, can you say "shall we talk"? - Shall we talk?
- Yes.
- Even in standard Osaka dialect... - Yes, of course, of course.
- Really? - Yes.
- It's kind of cold.
- Is that all you have to say? Do you want me to say more?
- Is that all you have to say? - Is that all you have to say?
- You've been talking too much lately. - That's right.
- That's not true!
- Half of the stories I heard today weren't even broadcasted!
- I see.
- I wish you knew.
- I don't know.
- Um, "bite" is kind of embarrassing, isn't it?
- What?
- "Bite," you know, like you don't know what you're saying.
- But, you know...
- Yes, you know...
- You know, there's a video of Yazawa Eikichi's Tokyo Dome concert.
- Look at the encore. It's funny.
- Yazawa Eikichi is completely confused.
- At the encore, you know, it's really cool!
- It's like "kwaaah!" and it's really exciting!
- Once, Yazawa Eikichi comes out of his costume and...
- "hug me!"
- That's what Yazawa Eikichi sings.
- At that time, Yazawa Eikichi is wearing a white suit and...
- I wish I could borrow this video somewhere.
- It's really, really cool!
- He's wearing a white suit and...
- Yazawa Eikichi comes out of his costume and...
- "hug me!" he sings.
- "hug me!"
- "Is that really necessary?" - "No, no, no, no, no"
"Get up and hug me!" - "Really?" - "Really, look at me"
I don't know if you're excited or not. Geez!
No, no, I'm a bit speechless
I was wrong, and I got excited for no reason
I felt like I was going to get excited, and I didn't know why
You're a woman, you're a woman, you're a woman!
So, please send us your questions and assistance in the comment section.
We know that you're all the same.
Please send us your questions and assistance in the comment section.
And with that, I'll see you next week for "User of the Side."
Bye for now!