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The first episode of "Gaki no Tsukai wa Arahende", "Chiki Chiki Hasura Sumi"!
I was doing it when I was in middle school, and when it became a boom, I stopped doing it.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- I'm already a parent and two children... - You're lying!
When I did bad things when I was little, they made me four times bigger and raised me up.
You idiot!
- Today, we'll compete in billiards... - Yes, yes.
- Look at the back of this box. - Yes.
- In this box... - Yes.
- In this box, there are products. - Yes.
- If you drop the same ball as this number... - Yes.
- You'll get the same product in this box! - Yes.
- That's the system. - I see.
- You can drop it from where you want it. - Yes, you can drop it from where you want it.
- You won't get in the way of your opponent when you want it. - Yes.
- Well, that's technology. - Yes.
- By the way, you have to bring back the number you dropped today. - Yes.
- That's a promise. - In this rain?
- Yes, in this rain. - I see.
- No matter what you get, you have to bring it back home. - I see.
- If you drop the top ball... - This white ball, right?
- If you drop the white ball... - Yes.
- Here it is. - Yes.
- The Nitterz. - Yes.
- All of us, including us, will be hit by the Nitterz. - Yes.
- First of all, I will drop the number one ball. - Yes.
- It's a boiled octopus. - Yes.
- I will give you this. - Oh!
- This is so delicious that my hands are coming out of my throat. - You bastard!
- I will drop the number two ball. - Yes.
- Ah, but this is... - This is good!
- It won't get in the way. - Yes.
- Also, it's premium. I think it's good. - Yes.
- I will drop the number three ball. - Yes.
- This is it. - Yes.
- The cheapness of the price and the quality of the goods are normal. - Yes.
- From that big camera, a Nikon Pica 1D for 40,000 yen as a gift! - Oh!
- What is number four? - Yes.
- Ta-da! - Eh?
- From Kikkoman, whole soy sauce for one year! - Hmm...
- This hasler and soy sauce, even if you cut it, it has a beautiful relationship. - Yes.
- I will drop the number five ball. - Ta-da!
- Yes.
- Now! - It's wonderful!
- The sponsor of the program, Sunlux's single malt whisky born in Scotland, Grenfiddich! - Oh!
- I will drop the number six ball. - Yes.
- Ta-da! - From Nepia, Nepia with love for one year! - Oh!
- I will drop the number seven ball. - Ta-da!
- Number six. - Oh, what is it?
- What is this? - What is it?
- Bring two flowers. - If you are Japanese, everyone wants it.
- Two flowers. - Number eight. - Yes.
- What is it? - Oh, what is it?
- No, I said bring it. - Oh, you want me to bake a potato?
- Lastly, bring number nine. - What is it?
- Oh, it's open.
- I don't need number eight and nine. - Let's go.
- Number eight, fall down. - Oh, what is it?
- Number two. - Oh, a T-shirt.
- This doesn't get in the way. - Stop with that "don't get in the way".
- Let me show you my miracle shot.
- What is it? - Oh, what is it?
I can't do it. I can't do it at all.
You scared me!
It was about to hit the bowl.
This old woman has been bothering me for a while now.
No, it's not an old woman, it's a bowl.
No, it's not, but...
Since I've been playing billiards, I've always thought this was an old woman.
You must have been very tired in the past, no matter what you said.
I'm not going to go home with you.
Good!
It's an anniversary gift!
Thank you very much!
I'm going to aim for it.
It's an anniversary gift!
Thank you very much!
I'm going to use this cushion and put it in my pocket.
It didn't go in at all!
I can't hit it properly.
Thank you very much!
That's it!
I have six of seven.
You have one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
That's seven!
You win!
Here you go!
Thank you very much!
- Well, I'm going home now. - Take all of them with you.
- Yes, and Hitchy from "Seven-faced bird" and... - Don't call me "Hitchy"!
- Umekichi... - Why "Umekichi"?!
- No, no, it's "grandma"! - It's "grandma", isn't it?!
- Well, I'm going home now. - Yes, grandma, it's been a long journey, but be careful.
- Shall we go together? - Yes.
I wonder if Osaka's skin will fit...
- What do you want "Seven-faced bird" for? - I'll send it to you. - Oh, you'll send it to me!
- Well, grandma, let's go! - Yes, yes!
I don't care where you ride, grandma, you're free!
You can find your own seat!
Well, I'll be going now.
I got these rubber boots and this flower.
- Thank you for everything! - You're welcome!
I'll put this away for now.
It's a promise, but I'm going home now.
He's a little angry.
Ladies and gentlemen...
He's angry again!
Wait a minute!
You know...
If you don't have a concert or anything, get up and put this away!
You guys!
- My brother always does this! - Oh, really?
What do you watch on TV these days?
- I don't really watch it. - Oh, really?
You know, dramas are pretty popular now, right? Dramas from the 80s and 90s...
- I've never seen it. - Oh, really?
I like anime, you know.
But anime...
Speaking of anime, you know what it is, don't you?
I'm not stupid.
You know what anime is, don't you?
Not at all.
That's right, Chibimaruko!
I've never thought of laughing at anime like that.
You're stupid.
Let me tell you something, Chibimaruko.
Yesterday and today... you know what I mean?
What do you mean "you know what I mean"?
I've been reading vocabulary books properly for about a year now and I like them.
That's all anime is about, isn't it?
Chibimaruko?
That's about it, isn't it?
No, it's about memories of childhood that you almost forgot about.
What are you talking about?!
There are some stupid things about childhood that you almost forget about.
Childhood is stupid!
That's what's interesting about it.
Childhood is really stupid, isn't it?
I was talking about it yesterday, too.
When I was a kid, because it was hot in the summer and we didn't have air conditioning at home, my dad would put me in a car.
Your dad said it all of a sudden, didn't he?
All of a sudden, yeah.
He wasn't that nice before.
Yeah, he said it all of a sudden.
He put me in front of a car.
He put you in front of a car.
He put me in front of a car and drove me really fast.
While you were doing that...
I seriously thought I was going to get thrown away.
I told my dad all the way over there that I was going to get thrown away like this.
Seriously!
Right?
Childhood is...
When I'm out and about, I make a face like this.
I don't get excited about it.
You don't. You don't. You don't.
Because you'll be taken somewhere.
You don't. You don't.
But when I come home, I make a face like this.
I can't go home!
I don't know. Maybe there's something I can do to pretend like I'm going home.
Maybe there's paint or something.
I really thought I was going to get thrown away.
That's not possible.
Childhood is stupid, isn't it?
I don't think it's stupid.
Even if it's such a small thing...
That's right.
It's a long way off for you, G-Margo.
I'm thinking of releasing a four-frame manga someday.
My own.
You're good at drawing.
Yes, I'm good at drawing.
I'm good at drawing.
Seriously.
Your reactions are amazing.
I'm thinking of releasing a four-frame manga someday.
I'm working hard on it, but it's quite difficult.
Why?
The manga, too.
Why?
I've done that in the past.
You know... that.
"Kawaii Manga Dojo".
- And? - Have you ever released a two-frame manga?
- Oh, you mean the ones you release in general? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And you released it? - Yeah, yeah.
- And how was it? - At least it was like a bonus corner between "Eva" and "Dangichi" or something like that.
- Didn't you get anything for it? - No, I didn't get anything.
- You didn't get anything. - Have you ever released anything?
- You know, like "Kaitei", right? - Yeah.
- Without that, you know, like "Gum", "Koutara", "Kiri ga attte", "Okuttara" and stuff like that...
- I mean, you know... you've released "Kimi Shoukai" a lot.
- You know, like the ones on the back of the manga, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. - "Matsumi Shoukai".
- What do you buy? - Well, "Koutara" is like...
- Like what? - Like, you know... "Tabacco-smoking Dolls" and stuff like that.
- Wow, you know! - They're weird, weird guys, right?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, really?
- Yeah, and "South American-style Chocolate" and stuff like that.
- Wow, you know "South American-style Chocolate"?
- If you make a woman eat it, she'll get sleepy.
- And in the meantime, she'll be like...
- "Let me try it first!" - "Oh, that's a good idea!"
- She'll bring all kinds of goods... - Yeah.
- And you'll eat "South American-style Chocolate".
- And I'll sleep.
- And there's also "Yaritanaru" and stuff like that.
- The chocolate that makes women excited. - "Yaritanaru"!
- "Let me eat it!" - "Take it!"
- This is... this is... like...
- Like... let's do it! - Yeah!
- Whether it's true or not! - That's a good idea!
- Let's do it! - Let's do it!
- Yeah! - And those transparent glasses! - Transparent glasses!
- Yeah! - For now...
- If you put it on, you can see it.
- Yeah, yeah! - It's true!
- You can see through clothes! - Yeah, yeah!
- Hey, you old man, what are you doing? I can't stand it! - Yeah, yeah!
- Hey! It's written in marumieka. - Yeah, yeah!
- Marumiescope! - Yeah, yeah!
- And you can see wide inside of the room like this. - Yeah, yeah!
- It's nothing! You can't see a hole in the room! - Yeah, yeah!
- Stick it in and see! - Yeah, yeah!
- I've been thinking about it, too. - Oh, yeah?
- What do you mean? - When I was little, I didn't know I watched "eleven pm" back in the day.
- Yeah, yeah. It was pretty violent back in the day. - Yeah, but I didn't have a room.
- Yeah. - My parents were sleeping in the other room, and there was no glass!
- Yeah. - If you had a TV, why would you watch TV?
- The light reflects it! - So you put it in a cardboard box...
- ...and it fits right on the TV screen, and it gets a little smaller, and it looks like this!
- Yeah, but doesn't it bother you? - About what?
- What if a man suddenly comes in and does something like this?
- If it doesn't mean anything and someone comes in and does something like this...
- ...and they put something on the TV and... - Yeah, yeah, that's true, but...
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- There are a lot of special features in "eleven pm".
- There are quite a lot of them, aren't there? - Yeah.
- The easiest one is the combination one.
- You know, like the radio and cassette tapes with "radicalization" on them... - Yeah, that too!
- So you could say... - Yeah, you couldn't do it without them, right?
- Yeah, you could add a "geta-bago" or something like that...
- "Geta-surume" might be pretty popular now...
- You know, like "surume" with "geta-bago"...
- And you eat "surume" while you put your shoes in...
- I don't know if that's gonna be a big hit... - You're an idiot!
- Just a little bit of "hagaki"...
- What?
- What's this?
- No matter where you look at it, the prizes are prizes.
- I don't know what it is or how it is.
- I don't know.
- I'm sorry.
- What's this?
- Then she...
- She's in it?
- Where?
- Was she with you?
- Really?
- Where is she? Where are you?
- Ah!
You're laughing at me, aren't you?!
But...
Oh, you're young!
Oh, you're right.
Were you in uniform at the time?
How old were you at the time of love?
How many years ago was it?
Six years or more, right?
It's been six or seven years, hasn't it?
Oh, you gave me this letter, didn't you?
Who was the first commercial I saw?
Yamanaka Azusa of Kamakura was 22 years old.
Oh, I see.
She and I were in a commercial together for Mr. Donuts.
She asked me, "Do you remember me?" and I said, "No, I don't."
Oh, I see.
But I remember a few girls who came to this kind of commercial.
Thank you very much.
Is it OK?
Yes, of course.
I'm sorry.
I'll give you one more.
Thank you.
This is the ultimate choice.
This one?
Yes.
OK?
If you go to the city, which one will you choose?
With a mask and naked?
Or in a sugao and bikini?
I'm not kidding.
I'll wear a mask and be naked.
Why?
I don't think being naked is a little embarrassing.
Then you can take off your mask.
Well...
What's that?
But I really don't think it's embarrassing.
Being seen pooping is not embarrassing.
Yes.
You can take off your pants and put them in your butt.
I don't know if it's funny or not.
It's funny!
I'm not kidding.
Being seen pooping is OK.
But!
You have a strong sense of garbage.
I don't mind being seen pooping.
But I don't like being told "no" by others.
For example...
You don't like being told "no" by others.
Or you don't like being told "let's do it" by others.
I don't like being told "no" by others.
Because I think I'm a clean person.
Of course!
Then...
But you didn't do anything wrong!
No, I didn't! I didn't, but...
You came up to me and said, "Ah!"
When you said that, I said...
Hey, hey, hey!
"Wait for me!" I said.
And?
"Come back here!" I said.
And?
But it's true, isn't it?
But it was like that.
It was like that for me, too.
I came back to my bikini and walked with my shoes on.
What's wrong with you guys?!
You're the one who doesn't like walking around naked, aren't you?
Of course I do!
A long time ago, the two of us went to our friend's house.
What?
We went to our friend's house without telling anyone.
We didn't go anywhere.
We were bored, so we lived in an apartment.
My parents were busy with work and didn't come home until late at night.
So we took their house keys and said,
"It's like a schoolhouse! I'm going to study in your house!
I'm going to rest and hide in your house!"
So we took their keys and said,
Make love keys!
And we said goodbye and said goodbye.
So we stayed up all day watching TV and doing a lot of bad things.
One day, this guy said he wanted to poop.
So we said, "Well, if you want to do it, it's fine."
And we went to poop.
And this guy wrote, "Don't let him in!"
This guy's poop is like a kid's poop.
So it's not like a kid's poop is like a kid's poop.
It's like a kid's poop.
It's hard!
So this guy wanted to poop, too.
But it didn't go in!
He was conscious of that and didn't poop.
It didn't go in, either!
Let's try doing it with water.
Like this.
Let's try doing it with water.
Like this!
God damn it! Why did you dodge it?
I don't even have a beard anymore!
Go away! Go away!
Get out of my way!
No, no, no! No, no, no! No way!
I knew you wouldn't let me do it!
I've never seen anything like it.
Even if you put it next to you, it's like a rock in a garden.
Are you going to drop it like that?
I don't know.
You're amazing.
They all smell like erotic books.
Yeah, they smell like erotic books.
Who's going to look for them?
Either you find yourself in an erotic book, or you find yourself in an erotic book.
Come on!
You should find yourself in an erotic book.
Not yet.
My friend asked me to do it, and I'm going to do it.
What kind of friend are you?
You're an erotic book lover.
This is the only book I have.
A bookshelf is not enough for you, is it?
Of course not.
I'm going to go home and prepare it.
When I open it, it's a bookshelf!
Well, anyway...
Today...
Money!
Do you have a lighter?
Yes, I do.
It's a lighter.
Did you see it?
No, it's not!
The one in the front is called "shipo", isn't it?
No, it's not.
It's different.
Don't do the same thing twice!
This is...
This.
Amazing!
I'll prepare it with my right hand.
Are you ready?
This is it.
Gotcha!
You idiot!
And with that, we'll say goodbye for now.
Yes.
Today, instead of Staff G, we'll be making goods.
For those of you who don't watch TV, we'd like you to make something like this.
Think about it and give us your comments.
We'd like you to make something like this.
If it's possible, let's think about it.
Yes, of course.
And...
And baking...
That's right.
Yes, that's right.
But...
Yes.
And...
Yes.
Today's goods...
Right?
Things like that.
Yes.
We'd like you to make a lot of things.
Yes.
There's a lot we'd like to ask you about.
Yes, there is.
Please do.
Is it possible?
Yes.
Then we'll do it here.
And with that...
We'll do everything we can for you.
Please send us more and more.
We'll be waiting for you.
And with that, we'll say goodbye for now.
This program was brought to you by...
...and sponsored by...