AISubs v3.5
Good evening, everyone.
This is the first episode of "User of Musical Instruments or Not?"
It's time for "Chiki Chiki wo Fuerou" master and apprentice battle.
Now, let's welcome our two master and apprentice.
Hamada master.
Matsumoto master.
Now, to decide who goes first, please do rock- paper-scissors.
Now, please proceed.
Hey!
Isn't it too early?
Think about it if you are a monster.
Master Matsumoto, you have 10 seconds left.
It's too early, isn't it?
Five to three.
What is it?
It's black.
What is it?
It's a water bottle.
Is it a black water bottle?
Yes.
What is it?
No.
Mr. Dokuno.
Please come in.
What are you doing?
You're pretty strong.
Do you think I'm stupid?
Here you are.
Thank you very much.
Seven-five.
Love peace.
Love peace?
This is love peace, isn't it?
Eight-five.
Two o'clock.
What is this?
What is this line from this corner?
It's chance time.
Two o'clock.
That one.
Eight-five.
You can't do that.
Do you think you can fool me?
Four-five is gentle.
This is the only one.
Two o'clock.
It's no use for me if you don't give me anything.
Is that so?
I didn't know that. You're a famous person.
I didn't know that either.
What did you say?
Here you are.
Thank you for your kindness.
I don't like it anymore.
Why?
I don't want to go so far away like this.
This is our second time.
That's right. Let's go somewhere closer.
That's right.
We don't have to come all the way to a place like this.
We can't do it nearby.
We can't do it nearby. It's not convenient for anyone.
It's not convenient for anyone.
We've been going back and forth.
That's right.
We've been to a terrible place like Yokohama.
Where did we go the other day?
That's right.
This is the same place we've been to.
Isn't it?
No, it's not.
It's not? Yokohama?
It smells like Yokohama.
It's the same. I don't like it either.
Liar!
I don't like it!
You're so stubborn.
I don't like it!
It's the same place we've been to.
I'm sorry for starting with the opening.
What is it?
Everyone, you've changed a little today, haven't you?
What has changed?
That's right!
You've understood!
I didn't think anyone would notice!
It's the truth.
This has changed for the time being.
It's the truth.
This has changed for the time being.
We've been going back and forth, and the set has finally changed.
That's right, now that you mention it.
Because the set we saw before was just for some program.
It's the truth.
I didn't dare say it, but I've seen some program.
This set?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's not funny.
It's not funny, it's the truth.
This is a set only for this program.
You know that shiny thing?
The boogie woogie band...
You're lying!
Thank you, thank you.
- Was it still there? - Yes, yes.
- The boogie woogie band... - No, really, really, really.
- Really... - You're young!
I'm telling you, we didn't spend any money on this show.
- Really... - We didn't spend any money at all.
If you say so, it's about the money you borrow from the venue.
You know that too, don't you?
- Kumin... - Kumin...
- Kuminkaitan, it's cheap. - Yes, yes.
You know, like "Imori Empire" and stuff like that, we spent a lot of money!
- That show... - That show...
It's like we stole money from the director's wallet.
- Really... - Like "pocket money".
Like "pocket money" or something like that.
So, what should we talk about today?
What should we talk about?
What do you want to know about me?
I don't want to know anything about you!
What do you want to know about me?
I'm not sure if the audience wants to know about you,
but I don't want to know anything about you!
All the kids who came here are the same!
Really?
Even when they told me not to take off my pants!
- Right? - Yeah.
But you know, I feel like I need to get used to Tokyo a little more.
- You feel like that? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Why do you feel like that? - It's not like that!
Osaka is already dead!
The other day, I thought I'd go hang out in Osaka for the first time in a while.
But people aren't there anymore!
That's just coincidence!
No, it can't be!
Like, they're hiding in some store or something.
- No, I saw... - No, no! Don't come near me!
If you get caught, I'll kill you!
- I... - There's a store in there!
I saw ten ladders!
You too! Ten ladders!
Don't look for girls and go to ten ladders!
Show me!
I don't say "ladders", I say "cranes"!
Ten of them...
- I went in and out of there! - You went in and out of there!
I can't do it! I can't!
- Ah, I see! - Back in the day, people used to say "totem poles" are "hooking poles".
- Yeah, there was a sign like this in Buriko. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- There's a bridge and a river in Dodonbori. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- They used to say "hooking poles" there. - Yeah, yeah.
There's no one there!
- Ah, I see! - It's like...
If you walk on a road like this, it's like "pyan, pyan, pyan", you know?
It's like...
There's a huge marimo in the west!
- It's quiet in front of a race, you know? - Yeah, yeah.
- It's like... - It's like a huge marimo in the west!
No, it's like a grass...
It's like a round grass...
It's like "hyuuu", and it's like "parapara", you know?
- After you run, you shoot "patapam"! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's like "pyan, pyan", you know? - It's so quiet.
- Ah... - It surprised me!
- You know? - Yeah.
Every time I walk south there's a young man's factory.
- The strike zone is here! - Yeah.
They used to sell it a lot back then!
- Well, about 12 years ago... - Liar!
It's been 3 years!
- They sell out their factory. - Yeah.
- They sell out their factory! - Yep.
You know, when the time is late men go to the strike zone...
- Yeah, I think so. - Even here... - It's getting worse. - Even around here...
- They'd say "it's time to strike!" - Yeah, yeah. - They didn't even say that. - Yeah, yeah.
You know, we three men are walking around and it's 5 in the middle of the night and we don't even have a broken ball.
- That's not good. - We have a broken ball and we don't even have a newtetsutaro.
- We don't even have one that we can use. - Yeah, we don't have one.
- Anyway, where did you go with all that excitement? - Well...
I went to borrow an adult video that's playing until 5.
- That's empty, isn't it? - What are you talking about? It's not even an adult video!
I'm going to watch it!
- Don't watch it. - Don't you say a word about watching it!
- Anyway, it's hard to borrow an adult video in Tokyo. - Oh, really?
Why is everyone staring at me like that?
- Why do you say that? - Have you ever written to me? - I have.
Isn't it weird? In Osaka, it's more like...
Hmm, you're nasty, aren't you?
You could say that!
Look at him! It's like he's pretending like he didn't see anything.
Anyway, he's got this look since he got back.
Looks like he's got something on his face.
I don't like that.
I'm not that good with people.
I was about a college student at my uncle's place.
He was like, "Whoa!" and said, "Whoa!"
"Whoa!" he said.
"Isn't it weird?" He said.
"Come on over!" he said.
And we went to a store together.
This is it!
- Oh yeah, in Tokyo? - Yeah.
- Is there such a thing? - "This is weird."
There's even a ranking.
This week's best ten.
7th, 1st, who is it?
Hey, is this for real?
No, it's a lie. It's the manager's preference.
Actually, it's this one.
Why are you thanking me for that?
You know...
Compared to Osaka's people, ours isn't that bad, is it?
- Of course not! - Really?
- Of course! All men are the same! - Of course!
Out of all the men in Japan, which one is the best- looking Osaka man?
Osaka's Asalto Pino-san is renting out everything!
- Oh, I see. - You can choose quite a lot in Tokyo, can't you?
- Right?
- That's true. - Right?
You can't go anywhere in Osaka. You can't go anywhere at all.
Why is that?
Of course, it's because of the mountains and the Caribbean.
Have you ever borrowed a rubber band?
- Right, right, right. - Rubber band...
You...
You can't even rub a rubber band.
That's not it.
What is this?
It's working!
You idiot!
It's working!
No one is doing it wrong!
You...
It's working like this!
What is this?
You shouldn't have done it like this!
This is not right!
I know you haven't done this for half a year, but this is not right!
But it's not like that.
Everyone borrows money like this.
I borrowed 5 minutes ago.
The loss is big.
But don't you think it's a waste to borrow more money, so let's just do it like that?
Isn't that something to watch?
What do you want me to do?
What are you going to do with 5 minutes?
What do you want me to do?
What are you going to do with 5 minutes?
I'm going to look at it and say, "Wow, 45 minutes."
You're lying!
You borrowed it in the first place!
When you borrow money for 5 minutes, it's hard to pay it back.
What's hard about it?
You borrowed it for 5 minutes, so you have to pay it back cheerfully.
If you say that with a tired face...
You have to make a bear under your eyes and say, "Thank you very much!"
You have to say, "Thank you very much!"
You have to say, "I really..."
I borrowed it, but I didn't use it much.
You have to say, "I didn't use it much."
You have to say it in a completely different way.
Don't you borrow a completely different movie with a dummy?
I borrow dummies a lot.
Have you seen it?
If you borrow three adults, you can borrow at least one dummy.
You know, it's usually like that.
You suddenly went all the way to the adult corner and said...
Hello!
Even if it's a lie, I've seen masterpieces or something like that once...
This is too obvious!
I know! You went all the way to the adult corner!
You don't have to say it!
Are you going to reproduce?
What did you say?
Your research.
No, I can't reproduce at all.
You're lying! This is Pico Pico High School!
How many times do I have to tell you?!
Even so, you're better looking than me!
What?!
I'm disappointed!
What are you saying?!
You!
You don't have a rental video that you haven't seen, do you?!
I'll go to a rental video store!
So you don't have an adult that you haven't seen, do you?!
You know, you and I are different.
You're cute! I think you're cuter than me!
Then what do you mean?
Aren't you going to kindergarten or something like that?
That's you!
Where did you get your 10 yen money this year?!
You!
Brother, where did you get it?!
Osaka!
Go!
You're better looking than me!
But I haven't been there. It's only the second floor.
When he was in middle school, he asked me to go to the girls' locker room.
I turned him down!
Wait!
That's not what you and I planned!
Why is it only my fault?!
Did I tell you what happened afterwards?!
How dirty you were!
Hey!
Haven't you heard of it?
When you enter a boys' club, you know, there's a lot of shelves and clothes in there, right?
So you two go in there and...
You know, there's two girls with their nipples out...
"Hey, hey, hey, hey!" you say...
Hey! You're wearing a bra, but you don't have any pants!
"What the hell is this?!" you say...
Tan, tan, tan, tan!
The stairs go up!
Visitors' girls!
And they're all this fat!
But, you know, they're all like...
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
You know, there's two of them...
And it goes up!
"Get out of there!" you say...
And you go out!
And when you go out...
There are about five ping pong tables lined up on the right side...
And on top of that...
There's a lot of dust and stuff...
Like a kendo stick, or a noodle...
Or a ball...
It's all piled up!
And under that...
I went in!
Right there!
I went in...
"Oh, I was wrong!" you say...
"Hey!" you say...
And then...
Tan, tan, tan!
Two of them come up...
"Oh!" you say...
"What's wrong with you?!" you say...
"That dirty...
...tofu thing...
...stick, noodle...
...take it all away!" you say...
"Is this it?" you say...
"Bring it to me!" you say...
"It's so hot...
...in the summer...
...who's going to bring me...
...this dusty noodle?!" you say...
"Was it this?!" you say...
"Hey, Hamada!" you say...
When you went on your school trip...
"What?!" you say...
You went to peek at girls' underwear, didn't you?
"All of them!" you say...
When I was in elementary school...
Everyone would peek at girls' underwear...
From the window, from under...
When I opened it...
There was a woman in her 50s or 60s...
A woman teacher...
A woman teacher named Ms. Jo...
When I opened it...
Ms. Jo was like this...
She was like a monster!
Ms. Jo was amazing!
Now, let's go.
Ah, hello.
Oh, hello.
Today, you know...
You applied from the general public and came here.
Until now, you were preparing for it, weren't you?
Preparing for it?!
Takada Misa-san!
What does 'contact address'...
mean?
It means 'company name'.
That's a big company name.
Tachikichi...
Do you watch this show every week?
Yes.
Are you both fans of it?
We both like it.
Yes.
If you had to choose one...
That's obvious.
Company name...
I don't have one.
If you had to choose one...
Well, you know...
No, really, thank you very much. See you again.
Yes.
Please watch us all the time.
Well, without further ado, I'd like to introduce some of them, but...
Which one should I choose?
Please listen to me.
This is about when I was working part-time in Kentucky.
Just as I was picking up orders for a drive-thru,
an old woman, not in a car but in a bicycle, entered the drive-thru.
Suddenly, in a loud voice, she said, "Give me five of Kentucky."
I asked her again, "Could you give me five next time?"
Then she said, "No, five of Kentucky! Five of Kentucky!"
As soon as I got into the drive-thru, I couldn't stop laughing at this old woman who kept saying "Give me Kentucky."
But, you know...
That's right.
You know, old women...
When you think of Kentucky, you think of Kentucky.
That's right.
You know, old women are really stupid.
The other day, I was talking with a friend of mine.
A long time ago, when we were kids, we went out to play with our friends.
And, you know, the old woman was angry.
You know...
Two brothers.
And, you know, the older brother was more angry.
"What do you think you're doing?!
You're making me angry!
The older woman was angry, too.
She was so excited.
You're making me angry! What is it?! Bring me some butter! Butter!
What do you think you're doing?!
What do you mean?
You know, you know, you know, you know, you know... It seems like you're having a hard time.
With what?
Why don't you quit?
Should I quit?
What?
Why don't you quit?
Did you not want to go out in the first place?
You're telling me to jump from ten meters high.
That's also an airplane you make, isn't it?
Whichever way you say it, I wanted to quit.
So, if you say you'll do it on the show,
If you do it, it's another thing.
There are still a lot of problems.
Or rather, it's confusing.
So, in the case of saying you'll go see it,
You've already done it with all your might.
With all your might!
Until then, you should have made a flying plane or something.
If I had flown 10 meters in my clothes,
I would have flown with three planes left,
but I'm a big shorty like you!
Then the staff would have...
They would have said, 'Stop it!'
They would have said, 'Why don't you fly it while you're wearing it?'
Then...
They would have said, 'Run, run!'
Then you would have said, 'Fuuuuuuu!'
You would have said, 'Fuuuuuuu!'
I want to do it!
Then they would have said, 'We won't do it.'
Just look at it and look back at it.
They would have said, 'Fuuuuuuu!'
If that's the case, they wouldn't have done it either!
I'm sorry, but I didn't know you were going to do it like that!
Grandpa, what are you going to do?
Grandpa?
Yeah?
Is Gyo-san coming?
To run.
Well, I'm sure he is.
He's not persistent at all.
I was thinking of sending Grandpa instead of Grandpa.
What are you going to do?
Do you have any motivation?
Not really.
Then don't do it.
Well, it's not like I don't have any.
I don't think there's a point in making more and more like this.
Yeah.
Right?
There's a value in not doing it every day.
Yeah, I don't think I can do it every year.
At an event on Japanese TV...
From now on...
It's called 'America's Biggest Ultra Quiz'.
Right?
And in the fall, it'll be virtual.
No, the Ultra Quiz...
Well...
I can't do it!
You can't do it?
No, I can't do it.
What do you want to do?
Do you want to do something else?
I don't think I can do it.
But let's think about it a little more.
Let's see what we can do.
For now, let's leave it at that.
Yeah.
Well, that's about it.
Also, today...
This lady who came here in public...
Yeah.
She's getting more and more popular.
That's right.
It's been a while since I saw you in public.
She's getting more and more popular.
More and more.
Yeah.
You're getting more and more popular.
Please keep pouring in.
Also, questions.
Well, there are many more things.
Also, please keep pouring in.
With that said, we'll leave it at that.
That's right.
Goodbye!
This is really unnecessary.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for watching.