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The first episode of "Gaki no Chukai Ya Arai" is "Chiki Chiki Warashi de Choja Dai Gasshan"!
Dan, dan, dan, dan, dan!
Today we're exchanging things, to put it simply.
Yes.
You and I will hold Japanese TV's brochures and go around this red hill.
For example, the product you're holding is...
If you take this brochure...
This rough sketch...
It will look like this.
This makes you happy, doesn't it?
Yes.
From children to grandmothers.
You'll be happy in many ways.
I like this Japanese TV's brochure set better.
I don't need it!
A pawnshop.
This one!
But you know, it might be good on a rainy day.
Really?
It's better to have each of these and buy something more expensive.
But if you buy this, how much is it?
Is it about 1,500 yen?
No, it's not that much.
Well then, shall we go?
Yes.
How about 20 minutes?
Come on! You spent a lot of time on this!
It was okay, but...
Don't do it! You're a coward!
You should protect your time!
Give me 400 yen!
Well, that's a problem. I'll do my best.
It's a problem, after all.
Well, let's go.
Do you have anything expensive you can exchange?
Tissue.
Tissue? Are you kidding me?
Mom!
Come here for a second!
Mom, let's talk for a second!
That character is amazing!
Isn't it great?
I'm entering the supermarket.
This is 2,000 yen.
3,000 yen?
Excuse me, this is...
How much?
3,500 yen.
Here you go.
That's not right! Who would do that?!
This is a Japanese TV program.
TV program.
I'm going around to buy food.
And I came into this shop right after I left school.
I know.
So I'm...
So in this shop...
Let me see...
I like this one.
This bouquet...
I think it's about four dollars.
Would you like to exchange it?
Just a moment, please.
Yes.
Would you like it?
I'd like it.
Oh, you'd like it?
Yes.
You're generous.
Since we're here, let me introduce you to the shop.
This is in Akasaka.
Kirishima Flowers.
Right? Akasaka store.
I'm looking for a part-time job now.
Man, woman, experience...
I'm asking you, if you have guts...
Why do women have guts?
Thank you very much.
It's about 3,200 yen.
I can't go anywhere.
You can't go anywhere?
Can you go somewhere like Kyushu?
Kyushu Sunset Tour.
What's that?
I'll walk there.
You'll walk there?
You idiot!
Excuse me.
Well...
This bouquet...
I'll give it to you.
Um...
Could you put it on my palm?
I can't help it.
Men and women go hand in hand.
No matter what you say.
Excuse me.
This bouquet...
Can you buy me a more luxurious bouquet?
I'll sell it in this shop...
And I'll get...
About 10,000 yen more...
Can you do that for me?
That's great!
Can I have it?
Yes, you can.
Don't tell me this one is the cheapest one.
It's not cheap.
Show me the melon.
Excuse me.
Can you give me this pistol and this piano?
Whichever you like.
This and this.
And melon.
Can you do that for me?
Yes.
Do it for me.
I'll give you this as a gift.
This is the name.
This is the last one.
Where is it from?
It's from Jaeger.
Jaeger...
This is 12,000 yen.
And this Christian Dior handkerchief set.
I feel like I'm back in this world.
Idiot!
You're talking nonsense!
It's Christian Dior!
Well...
This is 12,000 yen and this is 3,000 yen...
So it's 15,000 yen.
Let's go this far.
Then I'll go.
I'll give you this.
Here you are.
What is it?
I'll give you this and she'll come with me.
Can you do that for me?
Yes, you can.
Is it good?
Did you really do it? You did it with me, didn't you? Yes, I did.
She said she did it.
Is it good? Yes.
Let me do it, too. Is it good?
You have to do it.
Is it a three-piece?
No, you have to do it on your nose. She doesn't have eyes on her nose.
I'll go and buy it.
It's amazing.
That's right.
You brought me here.
There is one in the middle.
But I brought you here, didn't I?
Did you do it with her?
Let me do it on my mouth.
Did you do it with her?
She was good at it.
What's going on? You're already laughing.
What's so funny?
I'm sorry to keep you waiting for so long.
I've been thinking about what we should do today.
It's embarrassing to make a mistake.
A mistake?
The other day, there was an ugly woman who always came to my apartment.
I told her to leave my apartment alone.
Despite that...
If it was a normal woman, I'd say I'm sorry, but...
You're lying, aren't you?
Don't say that!
Well, you know, my fans are usually ugly people like you.
Why?!
And, you know, there are ugly people out there.
And they're really persistent.
You know, like, in the morning, you're in the car and you're like, "Let's go party."
And you're walking like that!
You're walking like that!
Like you're obsessed with something, you're walking like that.
And you're like, "You idiot! Here you go again!"
And you stop the car and open the window and you're like, "Hey!"
And you look back and you're completely different!
You look like me from behind!
You look like me!
And you look back and you're completely different!
Your face is like a question mark!
This is impossible!
Why?!
Your face is like a question mark!
Why?!
Fat?!
What?!
And you're like, "Ouch!"
Walk on the sidewalk!
That's dangerous!
You know, like, my sister died in a car accident and I was like her big brother.
You know, like a parent's heart.
You can't do that!
And you look back and you're like...
Why?
I feel sorry for you.
You did something bad.
I didn't do anything! I just came home!
I don't like that.
Why?!
Well, you know, I don't know what middle and high school students are thinking, but...
That apartment...
There are people who take pictures of doors in apartments, you know?
What do you take pictures of?
Oh, you don't mean...
You don't have this, do you?!
That's why everyone is laughing!
Do it! Take it over there!
When you come back...
Don't do it!
That's not how you take it! It's a picture, a picture!
You'll be surprised when you come back!
Well, then, you know...
What?
There are things we have to do little by little.
We have to get to know each other.
That's right.
And I can get to know you and give you back anything you say.
For example, if you say 'glass',
Then I say 'silverware'.
First of all, you say 'butt' and give it back.
I'm always the owner of words I can give back with 'butt'.
What did you say?!
And he says 'that's impossible!'
That's impossible for me!
So, as you know,
The one who wins or loses today will be stabbed here.
And the one who loses...
Has to play a penalty game.
That's right.
You know, like the one you play on Zoom in in the morning.
You have to play that penalty game.
So we both said we'd think about it.
But did you think about it?
No, I didn't.
I can tell you're determined to be on this show.
I've thought about a lot of penalty games.
Like what?
Alta.
Studio Alta.
You know, there's that big screen in Alta, right?
You go out there.
The one who loses.
Oh, oh, oh.
That's good.
Yeah.
How do you go out?
Um...
You tie a knot.
SM?
Yeah, like that.
The one where the rope goes like this?
Yeah, like this in the middle.
And like this in the center.
One by one, like this.
The one that goes like this.
Yeah, like that.
The one that goes like this.
On that big screen in Alta.
Watch 'Gaki no Tsukai'!
Next Tuesday.
Yeah.
From 1:40 p.m.
Yeah.
Alta's 'Gaki no Tsukai' will air.
Yeah.
What is it?
Do you have to tie a knot and say it like you're in pain?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I see.
That's what you have to do.
Yeah.
Got it?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Yeah, let's go.
From Sue.
From you, right?
Yeah.
Ugh...
Ready?
Yeah.
Suwashi.
What?
You're this close!
Did I ask you over there?!
Suwashi!
What do you mean, 'suwashi'?
It's 'suwashi'!
You're not wearing socks, it's 'ashi'!
Chiwasu.
You're too close!
Go,
yon,
Suito.
Why is that?
Huh?
It's 'suito'.
Usu.
Suika.
Karasu.
Swimming.
Grease.
Wait a minute!
Sweat!
What?
Sweat.
Toss.
Wait a minute! You've been cheating all along!
What, what, what?
I've been telling you all along!
What, what?
Before you say 'toss'...
Ten?
Hey, you! I didn't ask you! I didn't ask you!
You really shouldn't have told me!
You shouldn't have, Azuki-tan!
I didn't ask you! I didn't ask you!
It's fine! It's obvious! I didn't ask you either!
I didn't ask you!
It's fine!
Hey, I didn't ask you! I didn't ask you!
What, what, what?
What are you doing?
If you don't say it now, it'll be over soon.
You're scary.
Toss.
Wait a minute!
What's that?
There's a 'toss' in Osaka.
You can't say 'wait' like that!
If you say it like that, I'll say anything in my countryside!
Even though you're breaking the rules, if you say it like that, you're really dirty!
You're already in 5th grade!
That's none of my business!
I've always been a student-oriented wrestler.
You're a wrestler, aren't you?!
I didn't ask anyone!
Hey, say it already!
Sukanjinabiya.
So you shouldn't say the country's name or father's name like that.
It's 'sukai', 'sukai'.
What's that?
It's 'sukai', isn't it?!
That's right.
Sukai
is
by
That's enough!
Sukashi
What's 'sukashi'?
It's 'sukashi', isn't it?!
You're always saying weird things!
If I say 'bring it', you say 'bring it'!
You can even bring 'sukashi'!
No, you can't do that!
You can't do that?!
You say dirty things!
You're the dirty one!
Sukashi!
No, you can't do that!
Sukashi!
No, you can't do that!
Say it properly!
"Explain! Say it!" "No, you can't do that!" "Say it properly!" "No, you can't do that!" "Say it properly!" "No, you can't do that!" "Say it!" "No, you can't do that!" "Say it!" "Sukashi." "It's "Kiri-girisu".
- Skip! - What? - Skip!
- Prince!
- Skuber!
- Farse! - Hey, what's with that name?
- Is it OK, that name? - Why?
- Is that name OK? - It's OK.
- Don't laugh. He's thinking while doing this.
- I'll double it! - Hurry up and do it!
- I'll double it! - Hurry up and say "fine"!
- Hey, wait! You don't like my name, do you?!
- Three... - Hey, wait!
- Hey, that's too much. You're taking too much of my time.
- Scratch! - That's too much.
- Skip! - Skip!
- Chadance! - Skip!
- Skuber! - Skip!
- Bass! - Skip!
- Tsukekomashi! - Hey, that's not OK!
- What are you doing?! - Make it something you can bring with you!
- Tsukekomashi!
- Yes, Omane Tsukekomashi!
- How many people are there in Komachi? - It's small.
- Here you are, Tsukekomashi.
- Shall we stop? - Shall we stop?
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
- Today's guest is too noisy!
- What are you doing? - Chira Kansun.
- Loser! - Sugoroku!
- That's enough! - You are the loser!
- That's enough! - Sugoroku!
- Okurosu! - Okurosu!
- Sushi! - Sushi!
- Shiwasu! - Shiwasu!
- I told you! The Shiwasu I told you about is a year old Shiwasu! - It doesn't matter!
- Loser! Loser! - Loser!
- That's enough! - Shut up!
- I will go out with you when you catch this bird.
- I will tie you up and help you.
- Really? - Yes.
- We will watch over you this time.
- You two, right?
- Who is it?
When I graduated from high school...
...and when I got a job at a newspaper...
...Matsun, call me Matsun...
...let's go to Yoshimo together and do it.
Where did you go at the time?
How can you say that about our experience?
Why don't we do it together?
- But that's... - That's...
Matsun...
- You two have bad taste. - No, we don't!
- Do it properly! - Let's do it together! - No, I won't!
I'll watch over you.
- You're really dirty! - Huh?
Farts!
- You... - Anyway...
- I think it's over now. - I think so.
At what time?
We'll meet in front of the altar.
- We'll show you around. - We'll do our best.
- I want you to come and see it. - I'm sure of it!
The people who came here today are crazy!
You guys are the only ones with dirty faces!
- Right? - Yes.
Is this enough time for today?
- I have a sore face. - Show me your sore face.
- Today... - Yes.
Let me help you.
Look!
It's been a while since you've come out like this on our show.
Why don't you try tying 10 knots?
I'd like to see you do it.
- Do you have a boyfriend? - Yes, I do.
Who does he look like?
It stinks!
Even if you say like that, he won't tie me up.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for coming all the way.
By the way, I put it in here, too.
It stinks.
Do you have a name tag here?
No, not really.
This was quite interesting. I'll introduce you to it.
Well, he's the one who says "Hello."
His name is...
Hey, I found this at a textbook that looks like you, Hamada-kun.
What is it?
This is it.
It looks like you!
The one in the front...
What?
The one on the left.
It looks like you.
It really does.
It does, doesn't it?
Yes, it does.
Well, that's about it.
That's all for today.
Wow, you've talked a lot!
It's been a long time.
It looks like you, but you've talked a lot!
It's been a really long time.
Really, really.
You're taking too much of my time!
I'll do it more next week.
- Really? - Yes.
- What will you do today? - Shut up!
Watch "Kikko Shibari".
I'm Dantan Ozawa and I'll see you next week.
Thank you for coming.
Please come again.
I'm Dantan Ozawa.
- It's raining again today. - Yes.
- It was really hard. - Yes.
Let's not do it on a rainy day.
- Okay? - Okay.
Let's do it.
I don't mind if it rains.
Let's do it.
- Before that... - What?
- I don't want to lose. - Idiot!
- You're too young. - What?
I'll be an adult and do "Kikko Shibari".
What kind of adult?
Anyway...
Let's do it.
Okay?
Don't lose hope.
Thank you for coming.
I hope you enjoyed this rainy day.
Do you have time?
We're looking for an assistant.
We're waiting for your questions and comments.
Thank you for coming.
This is the end of "Dantan Ozawa's Dirty Work".
See you next week!
Enjoy!
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