AISubs v3.5
I won't use it only for the first time.
Look for Gekitotsu-chiki-chiki-koumote-kun!
Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta!
Yes!
Now, I'd like you to give this gentleman a bit of a premonition.
Yes.
It's "kou-a-mote". It's not "kou-a-o-mote".
Hey, you bastard!
Who ordered you to say that?
Now, today...
Yes.
Look for Gekitotsu-koumote-kun.
How many times do you say "first time", "first time" all the time?
Yes, yes.
Is there such a thing as a martingale?
I don't know.
I also don't know about "chiki-chiki".
Yes.
Today, you know...
Last time, we went to buy something that weighed 10 kilograms.
Yes.
This time...
Yes.
Since it's "kou-a-mote"...
Yes.
We have a scary face.
You can't say "kou-a-mote" to a person with a scary face, can you?
Well, you're right.
How can you say "bring me something"?
You have a scary face, so you can only say "bring me something".
Yes.
Is there such a thing as a martingale in this area?
If you say it like that...
No!
If you say it like you're walking in that area...
If you say it like you're in an office like that...
You'll get hit and I'll say "kou-a-mote".
You can say "bring me something".
So, now...
After 15 minutes...
What was the name of the venue today?
Um...
Todoroki...
Plaza.
That's not good.
It's Todoroki something hall.
After 15 minutes...
Yes.
You three will say "kou-a-mote".
Yes.
Is that okay?
Yes.
So, shall we go?
Yes.
This is "kou-a-mote" town.
Why is that?
It's really cute.
Isn't this scary?
Excuse me.
What is this?
Isn't he Japanese?
Where are you going?
Are you a kid?
Are you leaving home?
That's right.
Where do you live?
You're at the end of the earth.
What are you saying?
"kou-a-mote"!
Thank you.
Are you a little scared?
A little scared.
I don't like this kind of voice anymore!
Where am I?
Now...
Dad!
Excuse me, now...
I'm looking for someone with a scary face.
What do you think?
Would you like to come out for a moment?
I am...
What's wrong with you, old man? Your face is scary.
I'm over 90 years old, I'm strong, but my face is scary!
Yes! I did it!
- The road was... - Yeah.
- Not good. - Yeah, it was tough.
- It was tough. - Yeah.
- There was one guy... - Yeah.
- He had such a scary face. - Yeah.
- I didn't want to talk to him. - That happens.
- It was really scary. - Yeah.
- So, you know... - In a safe place...
- There was a gate race in front of me. - Yeah.
- I don't think I lost, but I felt like I won again. - You wanted to win, didn't you?
- So, today is definitely mine. - Oh, I see.
- Yes. - Yes.
- This is my first one. - Yes.
- Let's take a look. - Yes.
- Here you go. - Thank you.
- Hey, scary face!
- This is scary!
- Let's go to the next one.
- I can't even say anything.
- I'm scared, too!
- What?
- It's fine.
- This is fine.
- Yes.
- I'm scared.
- I'm scared, too.
- Yes.
- Here you go!
- Where are you going?!
- You're going to get bullied like this!
- No, no!
- I'm scared in a different way!
- Well, you don't know what you're doing... - There's always a scary way of doing things.
- Well...
- Look!
- I'm this age and I'm wearing these glasses!
- Right?
- Even my hair...
- I'm scared in a different way!
- So, you're mentally scared, right? - Yes, yes, yes.
- That's for sure. - It's scary, isn't it?
- Let's go to the next one.
- This one, right? - Yes.
- Okay, it's this guy. - Yes.
- Let's take a look.
- Look!
- Scary, isn't it?
- But, you know, you're pretty cute like this, right?
- But, I wanted to give up like this!
- When you took off your hat!
- Look!
- You!
- Stop it!
- You...
- You scared me!
- If you say that, I'm going home!
- You know, I'm going to be a father in two or three years...
- Look, look, look!
- You're really mean!
- How old were you then?
- Huh? - How old were you then?
- I was 80.
- 80 years old!
- You have pimples!
- I don't have any!
- Are you pimpled?
- No, I'm not!
- I don't have any pimples!
- Look, you're angry!
- You're really angry!
- You're not angry at all!
- You're selling drugs!
- You're a married woman!
- Hey, you're in a mess!
- We're going to go to Ishigomo or Gorujyo soon.
- Oh, you're right!
- Gorujyo...
- This is scary!
- Look, you're angry!
- Ishigomo or Gorujyo...
- Oh, you're in a mess!
- Then I'll go with you, grandpa.
- One, two...
- Next is the third one.
- My dad came and...
- It's my third one.
- It's my last one!
- Last one!
- This is scary!
- I'll say it clearly!
- Here I go!
If you walk like this, everyone will avoid you!
- What do you do for a living? - I work as a bicycle or school teacher or English teacher.
- English teacher? - Yes.
- When you walk like this, everyone, including me and the staff, will pick you up. - Are you kidding me?
- It's impossible now. - Are you stupid?
- I'm not an English teacher! - You don't know anything about yourself!
- So, if it's only this guy, it's only him! - That's right.
- I've prepared one. - Where? - Over there.
- Here we go! - Here we go!
- Please look this way! - This is scary!
- You're such a coward!
- Look at this! - This is scary!
- Hey, wait up! - What's your name? - Endo. - Endo! How old are you? - Twenty-six.
- Twenty-six?! You're so young!
- What are you talking about?
- You're not a man who was hit by a car, are you? - No, I'm not.
- On the contrary, it's scary for people like you to come together. - No, I'm not.
- You're not a man who was hit by a car, are you? - No, I'm not!
- What's your name? - Yoshioka-san. - Yoshioka - san. How old are you? - Twenty-five.
- What's your name? - You're such a coward!
- I can't stand it when two people come together and have a laugh.
- This time, I lost. - Right? - Yeah.
- I bet that old man! - Yeah!
- Seriously! - Yeah! - We lost to that old man today!
- Seriously! - Yeah!
Today, I have to get on the Shinkansen as soon as possible.
What do you mean "as soon as possible"?
I have to get on this show as soon as possible.
But you can't talk like you always do.
But if you talk fast, you don't have much time.
What do you mean?
If you talk fast, you don't have much time.
But I always...
You should talk more.
You edit this show, don't you?
Yes, I do.
But you always talk more.
So I talk a lot in the dressing room, but I don't talk at all.
You don't talk at all, do you?
But you edit the show, so you don't have to edit it today.
It's exactly the same.
So you can't use scissors at all.
I see. I'll just use it as it is.
I'll just use it as it is.
So you don't say things like that.
Did you use scissors?
Yes, I did!
Yes, you can't use it!
Don't say things like that!
You say it yourself, so you don't have much time!
- The other day... - Here we go again!
- We went to Bangkok. - That's right!
- What's wrong with you? - See?
- We went... - I'm sure you've all seen it on TV.
- Oh, right! - We went to Bangkok to look for Sokkuri.
- Bangkok? - That's right!
- What's wrong with you? - I'm Matsumoto's Sokkuri.
- Matsumoto went to look for me. - Right!
- Bangkok, Thailand, right? - That's right!
- We went there to look for Sokkuri. - That's right!
- There's a lot of dead trees over there. - Yeah.
- It's like summer in Japan, but worse. - It was so hot!
- Seriously, it was really hot. - Yeah.
- I'm sure you didn't look like me in Thailand, right? - No, we didn't look like each other.
- Because you're European! - No!
- I'm sure of it! - No, you don't have to laugh!
- You don't have to laugh! - Don't laugh!
- You don't have to laugh! - No! You're Filipino!
- What? - If you went to the Philippines, you'd think there were a lot of dead trees there.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah, but not in Thailand.
- There were a lot of dead trees in Thailand. - Oh, you're right!
- There were a lot of dead trees there, for real! - Oh, you're right!
- I know I'm saying too much, but you really looked like me! - You did, didn't you?
- Thai men don't know Japanese at all. - Yeah, yeah.
- And for some reason, Thai women know a lot of Japanese. - They do.
- They also sing a lot of Japanese songs. - Yeah.
- They sing a lot of Japanese songs written in karaoke. - Yeah, yeah.
- I'm sure you have a lot of sexual intercourse. - I'm sure you do!
- You idiot! - No, for real...
- Your earring was made by Kaito Chinchin!
I don't have anything, why?!
Did you have a hand in this from the first time I started?
No, I mean...
You're holding it in now, aren't you?!
I want to write!
You know, we're about to...
We're about to start promoting Unacoha.
That's right, that's right.
Don't say things like that!
It's going to be an advertisement!
When you buy it, it's Unacoha!
It's Kaito Chinchin who's promoting Unacoha!
That's no good, you know.
That's right.
When I was a student, I wanted to study English a little more.
Even if you speak English fluently, if you're asked if you can speak it, you know...
It's not a big deal.
I should have studied English a little more.
I think it was when I was in middle school.
I started studying English in the first year of middle school.
You know, it starts with "this is a pen".
That's right, that's right.
And I started losing sight of it.
But you know, there are a lot of musicians coming to Japan now.
Who came the other day?
Huh?
You.
The other day...
Who was it?
Rolling Stones and stuff like that.
Right, right, right.
What are you talking about now?
You should go! You can't study like that!
No, I didn't think about it.
Have you ever been to a fancy concert like that?
What kind of concert is fancy?
You!
Hey, hey, hey! Wait!
Wait for what?
When I was in middle school, you only took me to high- end restaurants.
What are you talking about?
You called me "Mick Jagger", didn't you?
Well...
You've never said that.
I'm not interested in studying. I don't know even if you force me to say it.
Takada Mizue did it in the past, so...
Oh, Takada Mizue...
I hope you feel like that, but you don't have to say "Mick Jagger" in front of me.
What a disgusting voice you have.
Don't say it!
Anyway, let me say what I've said so far.
First of all, I said "Mick Jagger".
Takada Mizue did it, too.
"Mick Jagger", "Mick Jagger"...
"Sakura da Junko".
What did you say? "Mick Jagger"...
I said "Mick Jagger".
And...
"Madonna".
You said "Madonna".
I didn't say it.
I didn't say "Madonna", but I really wanted to go there!
You know, Osaka Resort...
Madonna came to Osaka Resort.
And I lived really close to Osaka Resort at that time.
I wanted to go there, so when Madonna's concert was about to start, I opened the window and came in like this.
Oh, you could hear it from outside.
I couldn't hear it, but it was faintly...
Are you kidding me?!
I couldn't hear it.
How could you say "foo" when you were so drunk?!
That's right! That's right! I couldn't hear it!
I said "foo" until you came!
I couldn't hear you, but you said "foo" for some reason.
You must have said "foo" in this air.
I didn't say "foo"!
You must have thought "what?" when you heard it.
Ah! Morita Kensaku!
What's that?!
I... I like Morita a lot!
Are you guys mocking me?!
Come at me!
I've only been to Osaka's festival hall once, but it was a drift!
That was amazing!
You're annoying!
That was amazing!
I watched it as a kid!
That was amazing!
But drifting is a child's god!
When you're a kid...
When you're a kid, you go around in those sports shoes!
I watched it as a kid!
That was amazing!
You ran out of the audience!
I ran out of the audience!
Those festival hall kids...
You're annoying!
Yes, I'm Hagaki.
Yes.
Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'd like to say something about Nitta.
Oh, you're here.
I'd like to introduce him.
I enjoy watching him every week.
Show us your face, Saichan.
When we did the tricycle race, I went to the venue and watched him all the time.
While they were racing, I talked with their manager, Nitta, about various things.
While we were talking about SM's attire, I kept telling them, "Don't you know how I feel about wearing this attire?"
What are you going to do with an amateur like me?
I kept talking about it.
I don't like it.
Chikuri is coming.
You don't like it?
I don't like it a little.
If you don't like it a little, it's okay.
I don't like it.
I feel like SM is fine now.
I'm tired of it.
That's why I'm thinking of a new segment.
Nitta?
Nitta's coordinate segment!
Don't say it clearly!
I'm thinking of it.
Coordinate segment.
What are you going to do?
I'm looking for what kind of attire Nitta wants me to wear.
For now, you're looking for it.
Yes.
Then you'll choose it and wear it today.
Yes, yes.
That's right.
Let's do that.
Thank you for today.
Then I'll interrupt you.
What are you talking about?
This is from Saitama Prefecture.
Uchida, Yuki-chan.
Is it true that you two were in a human kamizumo stuffed animal that was broadcasted from Showa 61 to 62?
It's true.
You were in it, weren't you?
It was an illusion show, wasn't it?
It was an illusion show.
Don't you know?
A stuffed animal comes on such a big land surface and its tongue doesn't move.
Hey, hey, hey!
Look at him.
He's laughing like crazy.
I'm glad you're not laughing so much.
Well, if you have something interesting to talk about at work and you've done something like this...
If it was a commercial that was broadcasted in Tokyo in the past...
Like "Mr. Donuts".
Ah...
"Mr. Donuts" was broadcasted, wasn't it?
For the first time!
I don't know anything about that!
This is...
Have you ever walked on such a big donut?
George and Kyle were there...
Filming in Harajuku, right?
Filming in Harajuku, with such a big donut in the back,
Donut, donut, don't you like it?
We were there!
You don't know, do you?
Well, I don't know...
But I don't remember seeing it,
but do you know about that commercial?
Do you know about it?
You know about it, right?
It was right in front of you!
It was.
I saw it in the morning, but I couldn't see it.
Because of the time.
It was a few minutes away.
It wasn't coming, so it was above Matsumoto's face.
You don't know, do you?
I don't know...
Matsumoto had lines, too.
He had lines, too.
The two comedians were sitting at the counter.
No matter where you look, comedy is comedy.
I know, I know, I know...
There are a lot of them!
There are!
This brings back memories!
I don't know much about it.
You don't?
No, I don't know much about it.
There are a lot of things going on in Tokyo.
There are a lot of fun things going on in Tokyo.
Yes, there are.
A while ago...
I don't know where it was...
When we were doing manzai,
One of the kids was wandering around me.
While we were doing manzai, we would cut each other's sideburns.
The two of them got angry and told me to do something about it.
They caught me on stage and took off all of my clothes.
You took off your pants, didn't you?
They told me to take off my pants.
I took off my pants and everyone was laughing.
After it was over, the president there told me to take a picture with everyone.
And you brought your family?
That kid was doing it.
He flew and went out.
He went straight and said, "Don't come back here!"
He said, "Bang!" and kicked me.
I'm the president's son, so I said, "Ouch, ouch, ouch."
You're such a pervert!
You're stupid!
I gave him a tight slap.
But I had a warm image of him.
Until you took off your pants and took off your pants...
I came up with a new impersonation.
Even so, if you don't have much time, how many times will you do it?
Kouji Tamaki. New release.
Everyone's doing it, isn't it, Tamaki?
Mine is a little different.
What's different is...
Don't say phrases like "why", you know?
It's a little different.
It's a little different, isn't it?
What's different is...
It's not that similar.
I can't say it's an impersonation.
But I feel some kind of charm.
Are you crazy?
I'm a little crazy.
Kouji Tamaki.
What's that?
Why?
What's wrong with you?
What's a little different in "why"?
Shinichi Mori.
Why?
This is an impersonation.
I don't have confidence in this.
It's not funny at all.
First of all, it's an impersonation.
Good evening.
I'm Shinichi Mori.
Everyone's done it before.
It certainly looks like you.
It doesn't look like me!
If you were a man, you could do it with anyone.
But everyone's done it before.
I don't want to impersonate you anymore.
Shinichi Mori in the morning.
Everyone's done it before, right?
How should I say it?
Good morning.
What's that?
This is a lie.
Is it a lie?
I'm Kusakari Masao.
Really?
Good evening.
Kusakari Masao.
Idiot!
What's that?
It's heavy!
Are you going to do it?
If I tell Nan-chan about this, she'll call me a male teacher.
Anyway, let's go home for today.
I'll do my Kusakari Masao impersonation.
And when I say "thank you" and go home, I'll call you.
You'll do it and go home, right?
Yes.
I'm sorry, Kusakari Masao.
Anyway...
Yes!
That was pretty good.
Yes!
Go home!
Anyway, we have a lot of requests for you today.
Yes, we do.
First of all, impersonation.
Yes, impersonation.
We want your ideas.
Yes.
Yes!
And one more thing.
Yes!
We were thinking of a costume for your Kusakari Masao impersonation.
Yes!
Kusakari Masao Costume Operation Corner.
Was it an operation?
Yes!
If you're good at drawing, you'll be able to draw.
That's right.
With clothes like these.
Yes.
Please try it out.
Of course you can do it on Sundays, but there are other staff members as well.
I definitely want you to do it.
What?
I definitely want you to impersonate Saito.
That's a good idea.
We always take you to cold places.
I'm a mediator.
I see.
Please impersonate Saito.
By the way, Saito doesn't wear anything.
He wears only underwear as a mediator.
Anyway, please try out our costume for Sunday.
That's right.
And also, please impersonate the old man we saw today.
Everyone has this kind of personality.
We're trying out different things.
We're all the same.
We're all becoming more and more young.
We'll try to grow a little more.
This program is brought to you by Sundac and Oyama International Products.