AISubs v3.5
Now, on the first "Gaki no Tsukai" line, let's buy a lot of "chiki-chiki" !!
What is "chiki-chiki", we are!
If you turn this paper over, you can definitely get out of the three-person race!
There is no mistake!
Now, from this phenomenon today, everyone's enthusiasm will rise again and again!
Today's opening!
Let's buy "chiki-chiki" firmly!
I will give you 10,000 yen!
Yes!
10,000 yen!
Yes!
Are you ready?
Each of you will take this 10,000 yen and buy something weighing 10 kilograms.
Buy something weighing 10 kilograms.
10,000 yen, too.
Is there a woman weighing 10 kilograms?
That doesn't make sense, does it?
Let's buy "chiki-chiki" firmly!
It's a start!
Let's go!
There are a lot of things like this here!
But it's a pity...
How much does it weigh?
Well...
House, apartment and garage...
What are you talking about?
It's funny!
Oh, this is good!
Can you sell it for 10,000 yen?
Well...
There is a frog on the front, isn't it?
Can you sell it for 10,000 yen?
This frog...
Can you sell it for 10,000 yen?
Good evening!
Where did the frog go?
Oh, octopus is good, too!
I don't even have 300 yen right now!
Can you take a picture of a sad cow?
Sad cow...
What?
You're late!
What?
You're late!
It was hard work!
You said 15 minutes, but it took you 30 minutes!
What?
Ah, I'm tired!
Tonight's second place goes to Sandra.
Oyama International Products.
Sponsored by...
10,000 yen for 10 kilos, right?
10,000 yen for 10 kilos.
First of all, please give me one.
Okay.
What did you buy?
Here you are.
What is this?
Here you are.
Look at me.
I am a squid tempura.
You...
Don't you overspend 10,000 yen?
I don't know. Do you have change?
Change?
Yes.
Change?
Yes.
5,000 yen.
What?
Why do you overspend so much?
For what?
For only 10,000 yen.
10,000 yen is good.
I thought you would like it.
Do you have change?
No, I don't.
Why?
Can you give me change on Japanese TV?
What?
Of course.
I bought it with my own money.
No, I like it very much.
Really?
I...
Stop it.
What is it?
Cat sand.
It is a stuffed toy.
I don't want it.
Why?
Here I go.
Okay.
Shrimp tempura.
Wow.
It is a fatty potato.
Here you are.
What is it?
Cat sand.
Here you are.
I...
What is it?
P.T. Tree.
What?
P.T. Tree.
I am a sponsor and a venture capitalist.
Really?
Yes.
But I still have some money left.
So I will use my sponsor's...
Here you are.
I bought it with my own money.
Now I have 40 yen left.
I will use it.
Yes.
It is a snack.
Peanuts.
Even if you lose 10 yen.
Here you are.
Stop it.
It won't move.
I don't know why I was late.
But this guy suddenly asked me and gave me two of them.
P.T. Tree.
It is hard to catch P.T. Tree.
It won't move.
But it is heavy.
Right?
It weighs a lot.
Wait.
It is 100 kg.
It is 10 kg.
It is up to here.
How much does it weigh?
Wow.
It feels good.
It is 7.5 kg.
Wow.
It is 9.5 kg.
Wait.
It is funny.
It is 9.5 kg.
Do you have a snack?
Do you have a drink?
You have brought something you don't need.
It is heavy.
It may be heavy.
Do you want to try it?
It is heavy.
Don't step on it.
It is 10 kg.
Don't step on it.
But it is not good to step on 10 kg.
Don't do it.
Here we go.
Not at all.
Look!
What?
It's terrible.
Terrible.
Here we go.
OK.
Look!
Don't overdo it!
Ouch! Where did it go?
Ouch!
I can't do it anymore!
It's 10 kg!
Oh, it's true!
I'm glad I only stepped on two of them.
I can't do it anymore!
Look!
What?
It's too much.
I stepped on the top one.
It's 11 kg.
Yay!
That means I win.
What?
It doesn't say it's 5 kg.
Hey!
When you buy it...
OK.
You are 11 kg.
I'm 10 kg.
I'm lucky.
On my way here...
What?
I wanted to eat fish.
Fish?
You are getting heavier.
You must be full.
No, I'm not.
You are getting heavier.
OK.
Let's move on.
Let's buy more and more.
I want to win.
Thank you very much!
Applause!
Well, it has begun.
Yes, it has.
Today is the second episode of two episodes, isn't it?
Yes, it is.
Well, you can see it by watching the opening, can't you?
I'm a little tired, but you know, really, you know...
Customers are buying.
Customers are watching for the first time, you know.
Yes.
Well, well, you know...
What's funny about it, you guys?
You know, in this show, there are people who want to watch it and wish to watch it over and over again, and there are people who don't want to watch it, right?
No, it's not like that.
Is it?
No, it's not like that.
If you want to watch it, please raise your hand.
What are the rest of you doing?
I'm not really in the mood, you know.
Oh, that's why you're being brought here, you know.
Yes, yes, yes.
I want to watch it, so come on!
That's why I don't really recognize you as a downtown comedian.
Right?
I'm more of a... how do you say it?
More of a... you know...
What?
You know, I'm a fan of utopia, but...
You've taken a break for a while now, haven't you?
Right? That's how it is, you know.
You know, it's hard to make people laugh in the end.
But in the end, what do you think of the person who brought you here on your way home?
I don't know.
Even though you're all dressed up and all...
Oh, it was funny!
Are you going to say that to me?
You know, I have a mic like this on me, you know.
I want to put something like this on me and listen to it, you know.
I don't know, you know.
You know, in the audience seat, with a little thing like this.
Right, right, right.
What the hell is this?!
Right, right, right.
But, you know, I don't want people to notice me until I get home.
You know, I don't want people to notice me until I get home.
When you get home, you say things that are more boring than you think.
Why?! Why do you say such things?!
I don't know if that's the case.
Yes, yes, you can't tell which is more interesting.
What the hell is this?!
There's that too.
But, you know, when you think about it, it's been a while since you came to Tokyo, right?
Well, you're probably getting used to it now, but you had an earthquake recently, right?
- Yes, yes. - Just when we were having a meeting.
- Yes, yes, yes. - That was about Shindo 4.
- It was 4. - You know it?
- It's quite... - No, it's like that.
- It's like that. - Yes.
- You know, people in Tokyo have low self-esteem. - So they're used to it.
- Yes, they're used to it. It's not low at all.
- You don't have low self-esteem? - Not at all.
- You really don't? - No, no, no.
- You know, while we were having a meeting, people were like "Hey, you're shaking!"
- What are you talking about?
- You know, people in Osaka are not used to it.
- Yes, it was shaking for a long time. - Yes, it was shaking for a long time.
- And it was big. - Yes.
- I thought there was a big difference between people in Tokyo and people in Osaka. - Yes, yes.
- You're not an old man! You shouldn't say things like that.
- I wonder if people in Tokyo have guts.
- No, I don't think so.
- It's true that there are people who have a stupid taste.
- They eat everything looking delicious. - They eat anything looking delicious.
- They even eat dark-colored udon noodles.
- Dark-colored udon noodles. - Dark-colored udon noodles.
- I think it's strange.
- But there are still many people who don't like dark-colored udon noodles.
- People in Osaka think dark-colored udon noodles are a manzai.
- Yes, yes.
- Let's go to Haraki. - Let's go to Haraki.
- Let me out of here.
- Be confident.
- It's hard!
- I'm scared.
- Are you putting it on your lips?
- Are you okay?
- I want to take a picture of you.
- What are you doing? - Who is going to move?
- We will talk about it later. - I don't know what to say.
- Let me introduce you. - Yes.
- This is Odawara's son, who loves you. - You are strange.
I have something I want you to talk about in our program.
It is about your real name.
My friend told me you are called "snow woman".
At first, I didn't believe it.
But in a famous talk show, you called me "snow woman".
So I think it is true.
But I want you to say it.
Do you think I am a snow woman?
- My name is... - What are you doing?
- Don't stand up. - My name is Hitoshi Makumoto.
What are you doing?
- What are you doing? - Don't do that.
- Hitoshi Makumoto. - I know.
- You are a father. - I don't care.
I don't care if you call me "Hitoshi".
Maybe you will have a child.
- I don't know. - Can you give me a name?
- I don't like it. - I don't like it.
I don't like it.
You called me "snow woman" or "skull woman" in Osaka.
Is there such a name?
I'm serious, but I don't have a skull.
Can you give me one?
What kind of name?
Like "skull woman" or something like that.
"Skull woman"?
I'm serious, so I don't want it.
I don't want it!
Why not?
I want to give you a name.
Can you hire me for this show?
Come on, let's play with your children!
OK, let's see...
Pen name...
What's this?
Mary Fujii-san.
Good evening, brothers.
You went to a good high school and even became a vice principal.
Was there anything big that stuck in your mind?
You were living a good life.
That's right.
I'd like you to tell me about that time.
It's something you can't experience in high school.
I know, right?
You were singing "skull woman", weren't you?
I don't like you anymore.
You're such a bad person.
If you weren't a "skull woman", you wouldn't have gone home.
I don't like you anymore.
You woke up at 4.30 in the morning.
What about "skull woman"?
That's why you can't go to my house to get money.
Why is your daily life so hard?
I mean, I woke up at 4.30 in the morning.
It's pitch black.
I'm on top of a mountain, so it's scorching hot.
It's scorching hot!
I always leave the fridge open.
It's as cold as the inside of the fridge.
You woke up at 4.30 in the morning, came to my house and cleaned up.
If you had studied a little more in middle school, you could have gone to a normal school.
Normal school?
That's why my parents...
You should give up being a teacher.
When you were in middle school, you were completely abandoned by your teachers.
All the teachers at school said, "Where do you want to go?"
Do you want to go to a private school?
Is it okay for you to go to a public school?
But if you close it down, won't you have to close it down?
When you were struggling like that, you weren't even told anything.
I was told!
I made sure I told you that.
You're a bad boy.
When you were struggling like that and saying, "What should we do?"
Your teacher came up to you and said, "Hamada, listen..."
It's about school! It's about school!
What should we do?
Is he going to go to a public school? Is he going to get a job?
Hamada, listen...
When you said, "Hamada, listen..."
Your teacher said, "What are you talking about?"
This is serious!
We made up this story!
When you said, "Hamada, listen..."
Hamada, are you brushing your teeth?
What the hell is going on here?
Izumi-san, are you okay?
It's yellow in here, you know?
Even I was told that by Sensei...
I've been scared of you for a long time, Sensei.
Don't think about me first, Izumi.
He's from Gunma Prefecture, isn't he?
The other day, we took a survey in our class while watching the broadcast.
The target audience is...
"Downtown" and "B-21 Special", Ucchan-nan-chan.
If you were to name these members...
First place...
Uchimura...
Mitsuyoshi.
I know, I know.
Why me?!
You know, don't you?
What is this?!
Second place...
Ucchan, you watch this every week, don't you?
That's right, I watch it every week.
First place...
Uchimura...
Teruyoshi, right?
Matsumoto Hitoshi.
You guys are honest, aren't you?
I feel like my heart is being washed away.
Third place...
Hiromi.
No way!
Fourth place...
Chin?
No way!
What about me?!
Fifth place...
David.
What about me?!
No way!
That's why...
Nanchan and Hamada aren't in the list of lovers.
Is that so?
Yes.
I'll look forward to the next one.
Please look forward to the next one.
Chinkira looks good on you.
Liar!
It's true!
It's true.
First place...
Hamada.
Yes! Why me?!
And there's also Hiromi, Nan-chan, Ore-chan and others.
And someone with a good personality...
First place... Uchimura Teruyoshi.
Ah, well, that can't be helped.
Is that so?
Second place... Matsumoto Hitoshi.
Hey, that's not fair!
What?
That's not fair!
But he's got money too.
No, I know who you are!
You seem like you have a good personality.
Hey!
Why are you second place?
That's weird!
Ah! You wrote that from above!
Did you see how bad of a personality I have?
Huh?
Oh my!
Huh?
Let me tell you something.
Every month...
Every month you go out?
To your parents?
Without sending money?
Of course!
Hey!
If you make that much, you'll send it, won't you?
Are you sending it?
Of course! What are you talking about?
How much are you sending?
No, I'm talking about money!
How much money do you want me to send you?
Hey, what about third place?
Third place is Tebit, isn't it?
He seems like he has a good personality.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Well, that's fine.
And you seem like you have a bad personality!
First place, Hiromi.
You seem like you have a bad personality.
Well, we're together, you know.
Second place, Kamada Masatoshi.
Oh, I'm clapping for you.
Third place, Nanbara Kiyotaka.
How about the votes?
What's with you?!
I'm not in it, I'm not in it.
What?
I'd like to collect more proper surveys, you know.
Really?
Yes.
I'll give you a hint.
Yes.
You're in it alone, you know.
Osaka's Ningen.
Osaka's Ningen was amazing, wasn't it?
Yesterday, we had a show where you pressed a switch.
There were about 50 people.
Yes, yes, yes.
When we did that show...
We did a conscious survey.
Yes, yes, yes.
There were about 35 people who wanted to have sex with me out of 50.
There were 50 people.
And there were 35 people who weren't girls.
Yes.
So, those 35 people who weren't girls...
Yes.
Wanted to have sex with me out of 50.
Yes, yes.
Yes.
Why don't we do that show sometime?
That switch...
It'll cost you some money, you know.
Yes.
Let's do a conscious survey about that.
Yes.
I'd like to hear a lot of things about it.
So, you know that adult-visual thing?
Yes.
If it was a million yen, would you be in it?
If you pressed it.
Yes.
There were about ten people.
Yes, yes.
If you pressed it 200 times, you'd be in it again.
I wonder if it's money.
Yes.
Then, about virtual targets...
I'd like you to do something like this.
Yes.
Something we can do together.
Yes, virtual.
Please do that.
We'll audition for it.
Yes.
For Kin-chan's virtual target.
Yes.
And the bird-human contest.
Yes.
"I'll make a plane and fly." "Of course you will fly."
Why is this girl called 'P'-chan'?
"It's okay." "Yes."
"Now that we're all together," "Yes."
"Let's call it a day." "Yes."
"Thank you very much." "Thank you, everyone."
"Well, it was difficult, wasn't it?" "It was difficult."
"What was?" "What?"
"What was?" "What, what, what?"
"Oh, shopping, right?" "That's right."
"But if you say 10,000 yen," "Yes."
Using 10,000 yen in 15 minutes,
"Even if the price is high," "Yes."
"It's difficult, isn't it?" "Yes."
"Well," "Yes."
"You know," "Yes."
You know, you bought this stuffed cat, didn't you?
"Did I buy it?" "No, you bought it, didn't you?"
"Well," "Yes."
"Look, it's gold!" "Yes."
"You stole it again, didn't you?" "Yes."
"Everyone who watches the show," "Yes."
"Give this cat you bought," "Yes."
"What do you think?" "Yes."
"If you say yes," "Yes."
I'll really think about the show.
"Because you're the only one like you who's gone," "Hahaha!"
"I haven't even said my name yet." "Yes."
What about the sand for the cat?
"The cat's sand," "Yes."
"Well, I don't know about that," "After all,"
"If you say yes," "Yes."
"It's a little expensive," "Yes."
"It's heavy," "Yes."
Right?
Yes.
Hahaha!
"I want to say something serious," "Hahaha!"
"This," "Yes?"
"That virtual target," "Me?"
"As you said last week," "Rocky and Teto,"
"What kind of virtual," "Did you hear me?"
"What am I talking about?" "Hahaha!"
Thinking of an idea,
"Here's some advice," "Hahaha!"
"Are you going to kill me?!" "Hahaha!"
"Advice," "Hahaha!"
"Well," "Virtual," "Yes."
What kind of virtual would you like?
"Not virtual," "What is it?"
I'm waiting for it.
This program is brought to you by SUNDAC, Oyama International Products, and your sponsors.