AISubs v3.5
Downtown's "kid's errands" clash.
Every month, the three of us participate in a marathon race.
Right now, Kiwai is fixing his mecha.
Matsumoto-san is fixing his mecha.
How is your mecha doing?
No, I'm not sweating.
It's cold.
Say something.
Yeah, me too.
It's normal for it to be cold and tiring like this.
Stop looking for excuses, seriously.
What is this?
This is the first and second time you've done something so stupid like this.
Anyway, we're about to start, right?
Let's go!
In Western countries, cycling is a gentleman's sport.
Do you know where Western countries are?
No, I don't know.
Wait, um...
No.
Oh, you don't?
So, gentlemen's sport is definitely not cowardly.
Yeah.
Um...
No lies.
Of course.
I'm a little worried about my mecha.
I was looking at it earlier, and oil is leaking.
Where?!
There's oil on the tire.
Shut up. Shut up. I'm looking up.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
Anyway, let's go, gentlemen's sport.
Um, like this, right?
Let's go.
Go!
Alright!
Matsumoto-san!
Hey!
You should have said "go ahead" first!
This is provided by the sponsor you see.
Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out! Watch out!
I'm dead.
Hey, what are you doing?
What are you doing?!
I'm dead.
Stop it.
It hurts.
I'm dead. I'm dead.
I'm so dead.
Which one?
This one!
Which one?!
Where do you sweat?
I'm dead!
I'm dead.
Who came up with this?
While riding...
Excuse me?
People who are passing by...
Do you have lipstick?
Yes!
I see.
Now I finally understand.
Down-down?
Get out of my way!
What are you going to do?
I don't care.
I'm scared.
I can't do it anymore.
Get out of my way!
I can't do it anymore.
I'm going to kill you.
It hurts!
Come on!
I'm going to kill you!
Are you tired?
But I won.
It's good to exercise once in a while.
Yes.
Thank you very much.
Today...
I did something like this.
Thank you very much.
Let's go to the venue and talk.
Yes.
Let's go.
Yes.
Who is this person?
Everyone, who is this person?
I don't know.
It's still too early for you.
Oh, really.
You've come to that weird place again today, haven't you?
But it's Ikebukuro.
Ikebukuro or whatever it is, I don't know.
It's in there for a bit, you know.
What?
It's in there for a bit. And there's a dirty park in front of it.
Wow, you're crazy.
What?
Thanks to that park, we had a great time today.
What's with that opening?
I'm sick of it too, human. I want to kill you.
You've prepared all kinds of things, from signs to things you use in sports events.
You know that guy in Tokyo Station in Haratatsu, right? The one who's got a bokin. He's got some talent.
No, I'm not really that kind of guy.
Haven't you met him before? If you know him, you know he's got some kind of talent, so you don't have to tell me so much.
Haratatsu! Do you know a guy with this kind of talent?!
What?!
What part of him is scary?!
I'm scared of you!
I've been scared of guys like you lately.
Oh, really?!
Please cooperate with me. Please cooperate with me.
If you leave me alone, I won't stop until you react.
Oh, if you just ignore me, it won't work?
If you just ignore me, it won't work at all. Please cooperate with me.
You're really noisy. Did you bring a box or something?
What kind of cooperation is that?!
Please put some money in it.
But...
It's not that heavy.
That's right.
Haratatsu, you know...
You know, you're annoying, so...
I said, "Huh?"
It's your fault!
W-Why?!
Huh?!
I said, "Huh?!"
And you know...
What's with that face?!
It's not like you're asking me to put money in it!
Is that how you're going to face me?!
Don't make me laugh!
Stop making me laugh!
But it's not like you're going to do that!
It's not like you're going to do that!
Just put some money in it!
Even if it's only ten yen, it's annoying.
It's embarrassing. I can't put money in it.
Isn't it embarrassing?!
It's like that for everyone, isn't it?!
You know, like red feathers...
Red feathers...
That's right, that's right!
You're going to kick me, aren't you?!
Yeah, you know...
You know, when you get on the train and stand up and say, "Don't kick me, young man!"
It's different, isn't it?!
It's changed!
It's embarrassing!
You know, I can't kick you at all when you're on the train,
but after I sit down and kick you, everyone...
It's changed for you...
You know...
You know your seats!
No, no!
Yes, yes!
That's how it's changed for you, isn't it?!
That's how it has changed for you, isn't it?!
I know that feeling.
Everyone has different opinions about me!
Everyone is nice to you, like liking you very much, but they think you're kind of mean!
Yeah, yeah!
That's what everyone hates about me!
Ah, I see.
Yeah, I really hate that.
That awkward smile.
It's more annoying than that awkward smile, you know?
But it's the first time I've been made like that by my brother.
Why? You know, on TV, like on stage, even if the audience is laughing, there's at least one person with an awkward smile.
That's right.
You know, like Frillman.
Even if he's like "Frillman!"
Oh, you're my mother!
You're my mother!
You know, I've been talking to my friends about this a lot.
You know, men are really awkward.
Don't put me in that position.
No, no, no. Men are, in general, awkward.
Why?
Like, you know, even if you don't think like that, you have a habit of saying it.
Yeah.
Like, you're walking and there's no one around you and you're like "Ah, I'm tired."
You say that a lot, don't you?
No, I'm not tired!
I'm not tired, but like "Ah, I'm tired."
Even if it's not that cold, like "Ah, it's cold."
I say that a lot.
I wouldn't say "I'm tired."
But I would definitely say that.
But in a man's case, he would say something unpleasant.
Like "I want to do it."
Do you really want to do it?
Of course I do!
Don't you?
I would definitely say it.
I wouldn't say "I want to do it."
When you're watching TV at home and you hear someone say something unpleasant, do you ever say "I want to do it"?
Of course not!
You're kidding!
You're saying something weird.
Of course I do!
I don't do anything, but I say something unpleasant.
Men definitely do that.
Right?
When I saw Fuji TV saying "I want to do it" in Osaka accent, I couldn't help laughing.
It was really funny.
You're exaggerating.
There was a rehearsal for "Ime de Aitara" and Uchianan was there.
She said, "I'm a little late for work."
Uchianan, you're starting soon, right?
Yes, I am.
I'm going to the bathroom.
She kept opening and closing the bathroom door by herself.
I want to do it.
You're kidding!
Seriously!
You're kidding me!
I want to do it!
I don't want to do it!
What are you talking about?
It's a mix of things that have nothing to do with it, but it just comes out of her mouth.
That's too much!
You're kidding me!
It was embarrassing for me.
There are times like that.
For example, when we're in the same classroom and she says "Hey!"
Or when we're doing something and she says "Hey!"
There are times like that.
Even for me, when I'm at the station and I'm doing something and a guy next to me says "Hey!"
I don't know him at all, but he says "Hey!" and I'm like "Hey, that's not it!"
I say "Hey" to him and I'm like "Hey, you!"
And I'm like "Wow, wow, wow!"
But that's not it.
That's just my way of doing my job.
I see.
Even if I said it to an old man, he'd be like "Hey!"
Even if I said it to an old man, he wouldn't like it!
He wouldn't like it.
That happened.
I just said it.
That's embarrassing.
When you're on a plane and you put on your earphones and you can't hear your own voice...
That was embarrassing.
You're on a plane and you put on your earphones and you can't hear your own voice...
I didn't hear it, but he was playing it so loud that I couldn't hear anything around me.
And then Hidemi Ishikawa came in.
She came in.
She came in through the passage and said, "Hidemi Ishikawa!"
Hidemi Ishikawa, what are you doing?
That's how I am, but...
So, about five or six years ago, I went to work in Tokyo, and I couldn't hear what I was listening to and what I was saying, so I said, "Hidemi Ishikawa," to you next to me, and you said, "Hidemi Ishikawa," and I came back and said, "Hidemi Ishikawa!"
It's funny, it's funny.
I can't understand what you're saying.
That's embarrassing. You have to be careful.
Shall we take out the scissors?
Yes, please take out the scissors.
I can't laugh or do anything. I hate you all.
Is that all?
That's all.
You don't have to say who it is.
That's all.
Is that so?
Well, let me introduce you.
Yes.
There is a strange rumor about you lately.
What?
It is said that you became a yakuza.
Are you stupid?
Well...
It is said that you became a yakuza because of that rumor.
If you think like that, I can understand you.
Why do you say like that?
There are many people who think like that.
But...
Is it possible?
What are you talking about?
You know...
I will sue that amateur who I think we should quit.
We really have to quit.
Why?
Even if he is a good friend,
if he is a little amateur,
I will sue him.
What are you talking about?
Why?
If he is a good friend, I will sue him.
I don't like good friends.
I like good friends.
You shouldn't say like that.
It makes me nervous.
Whatever you say,
we are doing this with a light heart.
I can't say who it is in Osaka,
but I think it is Katsura.
I think it is Katsura.
When a famous person comes as a guest,
I will hit him.
I will be nervous.
I can't say it for a long time.
If I say it for a long time,
I can't close my eyes.
I can't look him in the eye.
I really want you to quit.
I was told not to say like that.
I don't mind it.
Osaka people are like that.
It's not like that. I don't say like that.
Why not?
It's my armpit hair.
Your armpit hair?
It's not your armpit hair. You're talking normally.
You have a bad personality.
You're greedy, aren't you?
Can you say like that?
You like my armpit hair, right?
What did you say?
I don't know.
You're noisy.
What did you say?
What?
What did you say?
You're young.
I don't know.
Say it!
What did you say?
I don't know.
You're noisy.
If you hit me, I'll say something.
What did you say?
Next!
I'm looking forward to the future of Hamada, Matsumoto and Taige, but...
How about going out for a penalty game of "cupid's three minutes of cooking"?
Did you just bite me?
"cupid's three minutes of cooking"?
What do you think of it?
It's good, isn't it? This is good.
What kind of game is it?
Like holding a stopwatch or something like that.
Really for three minutes?
Yeah.
I'm proud of you.
Do you still play "cupid's three minutes of cooking"?
I do.
Really?
I like "cupid's three minutes of cooking".
You like it that much?
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Yeah.
It doesn't make you dizzy.
Does it?
Yeah.
It's good, isn't it?
Is it bad?
No, it's not bad.
For someone like you, who's been working hard to draw a stopwatch all your life,
and breaking a stopwatch like this,
and looking at it like this,
I'm really happy about it.
Be honest with me!
Seriously, you...
What is this?
No, I'm grateful. I'm grateful, but...
No, this is a bit of a "no", isn't it?
No, it's not.
For me, each and every stopwatch...
I'm really happy about it.
Seriously, you...
Even if it's one letter, you've never returned it, have you?!
Don't say bad things about me.
But it's the truth.
For me, each and every stopwatch is important.
I really want to draw it like this, one by one.
You're crazy!
On Christmas Eve, you took a lot of presents
and threw them out on the middle of the road south of Osaka, didn't you?!
Damn it!
This guy is terrible!
Look at me. Which do you prefer, me or this guy?
Hey you! Don't you have anything better to say?
Don't say stupid things!
Who did you just imitate?
I didn't imitate anything!
You're stupid!
Stop it! Stop it!
Stop it yourself!
Everyone knows which is kinder.
Really.
Why? What do you mean?
Of course I love you more!
Why?
Have you ever done anything kind?
Do you know why I work so hard now?
I save money and buy a small house.
You don't have one now?
A small house...
On Christmas day, I always gather kids in the park and play the guitar...
Don't lie!
- Here you are. - Thank you.
You can't play the guitar, can you?
- I have kids who make me angry. - All of a sudden?
- They really make me angry. - What kind of kids?
They shake me like this. Kids are weak against shaking.
If they were adults, they'd be able to walk a little bit.
But they don't walk at all.
- It's obvious that you're different. - Their walking history is different from mine.
- We've been together for about 26 years. - No, 25 years.
- They don't walk at all. They're stupid. - No, they're not stupid!
- They're stupid! - No, they don't walk at all.
- They don't walk at all! - No, they don't walk at all!
One day, I wanted to go to the bathroom.
I opened the top drawer of the bathroom.
I saw a kid with his hands up and down.
I called him and said, "This kid is stupid."
Help me!
He put his hands up and down.
What's wrong with you, kid?
He said, "No, no, no."
Then he fell down and hit me.
Are you drunk?
No, I'm not drunk.
We're still looking for punishment games.
One day, I saw a kid with his hands up and down.
Hey, you!
Don't drink in public!
Say 'thank you'!
Don't say 'sorry'!
You thought I was drunk, didn't you?
But I didn't want to say it.
When we met, I said, "Hey!"
I don't know how to say it.
I don't know how to say it!
You don't know?
Yeah.
When you breathe in, you know it's coming, right?
When you breathe in...
You don't know it's coming, but from there...
So you use your fingers like this...
You're dirty! Are you crazy?
You don't say it out loud, but you know it's coming.
It comes out clean, like "peh"!
It does.
It does?
Yeah.
You don't know it?
How do you do it?
I can't tell you, but it's hard.
Anyway, it's time to say goodbye.
Yes, we are looking forward to more punishments.
Anyway, it's time to say goodbye.
Thank you, everyone!
How was it for you, three of you?
Three of us?
Yes.
It's your first time, right?
Yes, it was hard.
Because it was quite a long distance.
Your legs, right?
Yes, yes.
It's hard.
And when we got close to the park, it became a hill.
Yes, yes.
The person who made it must be crazy.
It can't be helped. Someone must have invented it.
How can it be possible?
You can't do it, can you?
Yes, you can.
You came up with a lot of ideas.
For example, the school I went to...
SM school?
Yes, as an assistant.
I don't think it's a good idea at all.
What is love?
I'm getting angry.
Yes, yes.
If you accept it a little, you become an amateur.
This is also an idea.
It's like cookies.
If you do it a few more times, you won't be able to do it.
It's like a salt kitchen.
I don't know what a salt kitchen is.
What will you do next week?
I don't know much about it, but I'll do it next week.
Are you going to make a movie?
No matter what delicious ingredients you put in it, you can't make anything delicious.
Garlic balls don't sell anymore.
No, no, you're an amateur.
Those of you who want to go see it, I say it every week, but it's getting worse and worse.
I've come up with a punishment game.
That's all for today.
Thank you very much.
Goodbye.
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