AISubs v3.5
Hurry up!
- Thank you for coming. - Thank you for coming.
- Now, it's like this.
- In Downtown's "Kids' Sky" area...
- Hello, I'm Genro Shochiku. - This is a daily - television studio.
- Right now... - Hello, I'm Genro Shochiku. - Please laugh with me!
- We've just finished.
- From here, in Downtown's "Kids' Sky" area, we'll start, right?
- You can't get out of the zoom shop.
- Now...
- You surprised me!
- Ah, I'm sorry.
- This is my manager, Nitta-kun.
- Tomaro-san, this is my manager, Nitta-kun.
- Now, today...
- As Nitta Atsuo promised...
- We're going to do an "SM" costume.
- So, we'll go to the venue like this.
- I had a movie in my mind...
- But "Juber" is already...
- It's like...
- It's like... "Famicom"'s...
- It's like... "Famicom"'s... last "musi"
- If you beat this guy, it's like...
- It's like... "Famicom"'s last "musi"
- Now...
- Now, we're on Japanese TV...
- Now, we're at today's venue...
- Kanda Panse!
- Let me introduce you...
- Nitta "monster" Atsuo.
- You're ugly, aren't you?
- I knew you'd laugh at first sight!
- I saw you...
- I saw you... Saturday...
- I saw you... Saturday... Sunday...
- I saw you... Saturday... Sunday... You were filming "Shinganri", weren't you?
- Oh, I was!
- Don't say that so seriously!
- Nitta is a bit tired today...
- I'll let you know in the opening...
- Look forward to it!
Oyama International Products.
Sponsored by...
Are you ready, ma'am?
Yes.
I'm Hamada of Koji Township.
Nice to meet you.
Leave it to me and you'll be fine.
Yes, yes.
Your son will definitely save you.
Please, detective!
This kind of kidnapping case is ridiculous.
Is it?
I've done it many times!
It's easy.
Just listen to me.
Thank you!
You'll be fine.
Are you ready?
Yes.
But I'll say one thing.
Yes.
But I'll say one thing.
Even if the criminal calls you,
don't tell him that I'm in this house.
Yes.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Even if the criminal calls you and tells you that there's a detective next door,
if the criminal finds out that there's a detective next door...
Don't worry about it.
Are you ready, ma'am?
If the criminal calls you next time,
please spend as much time as you can.
Yes.
That's all you need to do, ma'am.
Yes.
Ma'am...
Please give me some time.
(sound of car crashing)
Ma'am!
(laughter)
You can't do that!
I'm sorry. I'm nervous. I'm sorry.
You have to take it off immediately!
Yes.
It's already off, that big one.
Yes.
It's off, isn't it?
Yes.
You can't do that.
Yes.
You should listen to me.
Yes.
Do you understand?
Yes.
When it comes to you...
Yes.
...answer it properly.
Yes.
That's all you need.
Yes.
Why do you speak in such a low voice?
(laughter)
Thank you in advance.
(phone ringing)
What is it?
I'm recording the suspect's voice.
Hello?
Is my son okay?
How much should I pay you?
You haven't done anything to my son, have you?
(sobbing)
Mr. Shigeseno!
(sobbing)
Very good!
Thank you.
Let's ask him.
Yes.
Hello?
Oh, hello!
I'm from Nico Nico Academy.
Is my son okay?
No, he's studying well.
Oh, by the way, ma'am...
I have a monthly fee of about two months.
How much should I pay you?
Two months is 64,000 yen.
You haven't done anything to my son, have you?
Don't worry about it!
We're not Spartans!
Thank you very much!
(Laughter)
Madam!
Stop it!
Yes.
I'll hit you!
(Laughter)
Huh?
Yes.
Stop it!
Yes, yes.
Listen to me!
Yes, yes. I'll kill you! (Laughter)
Thank you very much!
Do you really think so?
I can't do it anymore.
I'll kick you!
Yes.
Are you ready, ma'am?
Yes.
Answer me!
Yes. (Laughter)
Are you ready, ma'am?
Yes.
The next time the criminal calls you...
Yes.
Don't be provoked.
Are you ready?
Yes.
Don't make the criminal angry!
Yes.
Don't make him excited!
Yes.
This is the rule.
Do you understand?
Yes, I do!
Are you ready?
Yes.
Answer me!
Yes.
Don't be provoked.
Yes.
Don't make the criminal angry!
Hello?
Yes.
Hello?
It's me, the criminal.
Is my son all right?
Your son?
You mean that dirty stray dog?
What?
Is he all right?
Of course he is.
It's about time.
Did you hear me, you ugly dog?
Ugly?
Quiet.
Don't get angry.
You are ugly.
You are black and ugly.
You.
You are stupid.
Yes.
I am ugly.
My son!
Yes.
My son!
Whatever you are, you are ugly.
And you in front of the ugly dog...
You stupid detective.
I'm stupid?
(Laughter)
You stupid detective.
Why did you call me stupid?
You are stupid!
Hey!
Who is this?
Who is this fool?
Oh, here he is.
Stupid detective.
Who's mad at me, you bastards?!
He's mad, he's mad, he's mad!
What's wrong with you?!
Don't make such a face!
Huh?!
Pooh!
More pooh!
You're making fun of me perfectly!
What are you talking about?
You bastard!
Hey!
What?!
You can't talk like that about me!
What's wrong with you?!
If you talk like that about me...
Huh?!
...I'll kill you like I kill a stray dog!
Kill me?! Kill me yourself, you idiot!
What's wrong with you?!
You can't talk like that about me!
Ha! You idiot!
Three points.
(audience laughter)
Um...the other day, when we were on our way to Tokyo Station...
I slipped and...
A taxi?
A taxi...about ten metres away...
I slipped and almost hit my head against the car in front of me.
I thought I was going to die.
You can't hit your head against a taxi!
You can't hit your head against a car in front of you!
I've rolled around like that too.
I see.
When I was freezing to death.
I was freezing to death and I was talking with my co-worker.
On a day like this, you'd probably be rolling around and hitting your head against a car in front of you, wouldn't you?
About three minutes later, I was able to hold my head against the car in front of me.
I stepped on the gas and rolled around like this.
I hit my head against the car in front of me.
When I first saw it, it was the scariest.
The driver was wearing a red sweater.
And the co-worker was wearing a white sweater.
They were spinning and it looked like a pink sweater.
I thought it was scary.
It was spinning so beautifully that it turned pink?
Yes.
The driver was a man and the co-worker looked like a pink hat.
I don't think you guys believe me but...
Do you?!
It was really scary.
Cars are scary.
They are.
I've had a lot of experiences with cars.
I've had a lot of experiences with cars too.
This is a standing wave phenomenon.
When you go to a driving school, you learn about standing wave phenomenon.
When there's less air pressure, the tires explode.
The first car I bought for 10,000 yen...
It stinks!
The first car I bought for 10,000 yen...
It was a Starlet.
It was amazing.
I wish you guys had driven that car at least once.
It was so funny.
It was so worn out.
It really was.
It was about seven years ago.
When I was driving at high speed, I heard a weird sound.
It was like "pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!"
You're lying!
I think there's something living on the roof.
It was really loud.
It was like "pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!"
The wind was blowing from somewhere.
As I was driving...
pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
I heard a helicopter.
I thought something was flying.
I thought it was close.
As I was driving...
I heard a helicopter flying all the time!
It felt like it was flying with my joke.
pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
You're persistent!
You're like a Goranger's song.
pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
I...
I was...
I'm sorry.
I was saying "pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!"
pew, pew, pew, pew, pew!
I was so persistent...
I stopped at the parking lot.
I couldn't find the tire on the back right.
I thought I was going to be killed.
I was in a hurry.
But I got in.
I looked in the back of the car.
There was a guy.
He looked like a bad guy.
When I stopped...
I didn't know what he was saying.
Get out of my way!
I didn't know what he was saying.
Maybe he was a real man.
A woman was lying down next to me.
She told me to stop.
She told me not to do it.
I didn't know what was going on in the room.
She said, "But you're hungry, aren't you?"
I didn't know what was going on.
She opened the door and was about to leave.
She stopped me.
I was looking at the room and said, "You can do it!"
You can do it! You can do it!
Don't let me down! Don't let me down!
Don't let me down!
She somehow managed to get me back and sat me down.
I was trying to act like a man, but I couldn't do it in front of the room.
I was about to pass out.
I don't know what happened, but I was in the car and I suddenly went to the bathroom and I was in trouble.
Oh, did something happen?
I was walking on a narrow road and I heard a loud noise.
I was shaking and sweating and I couldn't eat anymore.
My older brother was weird.
We used to sleep together and it was about 40 degrees Celsius.
I don't know what he thought, but he woke up at about three in the evening and said, "Winner!"
And he went back to sleep.
What the hell is a winner?
I couldn't sleep until morning.
What the hell is a winner?
I couldn't say anything.
I was working for a company in Moriguchi.
I couldn't say anything.
I went on a trip with my wife and stayed in a hotel.
I was sleeping and I suddenly woke up and said, "I'm going home!"
I woke up and looked at the clock and said, "Hey, wake up! I'm going home!"
I asked my wife, "Where are you going?"
Let's see if we can get a copy today.
Wow, you're so cute!
Well, I'm a salaryman, you know.
Well, since you're here, why don't you play "Mucci" for us?
You're going to college, aren't you?
I'm going to do a commercial this time.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Let's do "Mucci" together.
Where are you going to sing?
I'm going to Idomori.
Wow, you're so cute.
Thank you so much.
Hey, you're wearing underpants!
Okay, let me tell you about my life.
As you just saw, on January 17th, during the opening of "Zoom in Morning",
Mucci, who was in a bad condition, was dancing weirdly.
But it was a big laugh.
"Zoom in Morning" became a comedy show.
From now on, people who lost will do various things and have fun.
For example, Hama-chan will go out to "Shinkon-san Irasshai".
Will you go out?!
Are you stupid?!
Is it OK?
No!
Even if I want to go out, I can't!
Do you really want to go out?!
I do, I do! But...
I won't go out!
I... I...
It can't be helped!
What can't be helped?!
It's impossible for you to go out!
It's impossible!
But there is one, right?
Yes, there is one.
And this person is...
Good evening, good evening.
As usual, we are watching you.
Well, well, there are many things.
When we took the survey in our class, it was like this.
It's only about us, so don't worry about it.
So we have all of the "best five".
Yes.
First of all, if you make me your boyfriend...
Yes.
First of all, me.
Hama-chan.
Yes.
Second of all, Hiromi.
Third of all, Matchan.
Fourth of all, Chin-san.
Fifth of all, Ucchan.
And if you make me your older brother...
First of all, Hiromi.
Second of all, me.
Third of all, Nan-chan.
Fourth of all, Chin-san.
Fifth of all, you.
And if you make me your fiance...
First of all, Matchan.
Did you hear that booing?
That's low.
Second of all, Hiromi.
Third of all, me.
Fourth of all, Chin.
Fifth of all, Ucchan.
And if you make me...
If you make me look like a good person...
No, I'm not done yet.
If you make me look like a good person...
First of all, Hiromi.
That's weird!
First of all, Hiromi!
That's weird.
Right?!
That's weird.
Second of all, Ucchan.
I know this one.
Third of all, Chin.
Chin too.
Fourth of all, Nan-chan.
I know this one too.
Fifth of all, me.
You don't have me in you, do you?
Looking at this, I think it's funny.
I can't believe you're in second place.
Oh, I don't like it.
Hey, if you can, bring me your sister and tell me everything you've been doing.
What did I do?
I can't believe you're in second place.
You fought with your sister and all you had was a towel.
You ran all the way to the waterfront and wiped it off with a wet towel.
This idea is amazing, isn't it?
If you only had a towel, you should stop.
You ran all the way to the waterfront and wiped it off with a wet towel.
This idea is amazing, isn't it?
It's amazing.
It happens sometimes.
He always likes to make things up.
Curry bread, Fanta...
It's sweet, so he's baking hormones.
Bring me some hormones. There's a lot of sauce.
You don't even know about sauce.
You said the same thing.
Bring me some yogurt.
Or some chichas.
Bring me some yogurt.
We were classmates.
We were having lunch together and one of the guys who brought it said something different about chichas.
He put it on a different plate and said, "I say chichas!"
He threw it on the blackboard and dragged it around with one chichas.
I say chichas!
It's an interesting first dream.
Wait!
I saw it with my own eyes!
Why me?!
Well, well, well...
You know, I'm strong.
If you do something like that, you'll get hurt.
You can't use only this right hand.
What are you saying?
You have weak arms and legs, but you say you're strong?
Wait!
My arms and legs are weak?
You're right.
You know what? I don't want to do a simple arm wrestle.
Do you want to bet something?
No, no. I'm confident.
You're lying.
What? What is it?
No, no. This is...
Do you want to bet something?
Yes, I do.
All right.
Now we can see something like a second gallala, right?
Right?
If you bet something...
What is it? What is it?
Let's do it one more time.
Which one do you want?
Right arm.
Don't give up at first.
You made me think I could win, and then you bet on a new game and it became a new game.
You're like a genius in the early days of Showa.
Who did that in the early days of Showa?
You're so classic.
Look at you. You're like an old man.
What's with you?
I'm wearing a skirt.
Anyway...
Come on.
What?
Come on.
No!
Who told you to use your whole body?
I told you to use your strength.
Come on.
Use your strength.
I told you.
Shake it. Shake it.
Use your strength.
The audience is here.
The staff is already excited.
As much as I'm angry, I want you to go to a girls' school.
I'm sure you'll be beaten up.
Why?
Why do you have to beat me up?
I'm sure you'll be beaten up.
It's like a school where girls from various universities gather.
I'm sure you'll be beaten up.
If you don't beat me up, I'll cut you up.
If you cut me up, I'll let you in my room.
Can you let me in your room?
I'm sure you'll beat me up.
In the opening scene, you dressed up like an S.M.I.N.E. and looked at me.
I forgot about it.
I'm sure you'll beat me up.
You walked outside today, didn't you?
Yes, I only walked in the car today.
Walking outside doesn't make sense.
That's right.
I'll keep that line until I go to the hospital.
I'll keep it.
I'll get you to blur it out, so please only show my shoulders.
If you're watching this on TV, please stop your anger.
It's like switching to a Zoom meeting.
I see. It's a punishment game.
Let's do this.
Please call me with this.
I'm sure you'll do that, too.
Because everything is the same.
I'm sure you'll do it.
This program was brought to you by SUNDUCK and Oyama International Products.