AISubs v3.5
Where are you going today?
I don't know where, but from April next year, we will cut our hands off from daily TV.
This year, right?
Yes, this year.
Today, we are in Yokohama.
It's cold, so wear something like this.
Are you kidding me?
I don't have such a thing.
Try it on.
I have it in front of me, but it's not enough.
You can't fool me with such a thing.
Hey, you promised me, didn't you?
Why don't you do it with only one T-shirt?
It's snowing, so you can't do it.
Goodbye, Kusara Gedo.
If you are Kusara Gedo, are you Kusara Gedo, too?
This is it.
Today's venue is Soutetsu Honga Theater.
Let's go in.
Please bring this set to this small place.
Staff, lick it.
What are we going to do today?
We are going to do a skit today, too.
It's a little nostalgic.
Yes, it's nostalgic.
It's a skit from when "kissatsu" was popular.
Yes, yes.
It's a skit from that time.
I'd like to do it.
It's just right.
After that, we will do a lot of things and broadcast live for three and a half hours.
Please enjoy it until the end.
WIEDERAPPEL WIEDERAPPEL WIEDERAPPEL
(laughter and applause)
(laughter)
I won! (laughter)
(music)
What?
What is it?
(music)
Who is it?
(laughter and applause)
Who are you?
Stop it!
(laughter)
I won! (laughter)
(music)
Who are you?
(music)
Who are you?
Stop it!
Who are you?
(laughter)
It's too early for you to get excited.
(laughter)
I won!
(music)
Who are you?
(music)
Who are you?
(laughter)
Stop it!
(laughter)
(coughing)
I won!
(music)
Who are you?
Stop it.
What are you doing?
What are you doing? Stop it.
What are you doing?
Do you want to die?
Stand up!
Who are you?
I'm not asking you anymore.
Who are you?
Stop it!
Die!
I'm not angry.
You shouldn't do such a bad thing.
Ouch!
Die!
You are weak.
Hey!
I'm not angry.
Hey!
Get out of my way.
I won't make fun of you.
Thank you.
It must have been a tough day for you all.
Not at all.
Thank you very much for coming today.
Thank you.
It's been four years since it snowed so much.
I've never seen it snow like that in Osaka.
I've never seen it like that.
I was really surprised.
It's hard to tell where we are.
Here?
Is this all Yokohama?
It's nearby.
Is it?
I always come here because it's fun.
But I don't know where we are even if you show me.
Oh, I see.
I don't think it's on the third floor.
I was walking down the street all by myself.
About five minutes later, I got stuck.
Really?
Yes, it's true.
How can you get used to it so easily?
You got stuck?
No, I'm serious.
When we got here in the car, it snowed so much.
It must have snowed a lot.
It must have snowed and we couldn't drive.
When we got out of the car early, it snowed.
It snowed for about an hour.
Today, too, I got stuck at a parking lot called Daitoro.
Don't do it.
It's embarrassing.
Don't do it.
Can we end it here?
It's embarrassing.
No one would notice you were doing it alone? No one would notice me.
Oh, the clerk's brother was like, "Everyone, gather up!"
And a completely different department's brother was like, "Come here!"
Department?
You know, like, "Do you know who I am?"
But you know, you really had a lot of courage.
I heard there were about 80 ambulances coming out.
Really?
For that?
For that. Like, injured people or people who had collapsed and had to go to the hospital.
Yeah.
But, you know, it's embarrassing in the neighborhood.
You know, people who fell and hit their heads with their fingers.
You know, there are old people who die every year.
It's really embarrassing in the neighborhood.
But I can't stand it, dying like that.
It's no use, you know?
Since we were born, it seems like we know when we're going to die.
Who said that?
It's decided by God.
Who said that?
I did.
Why?
It seems like we know when we're going to die.
It's decided by God.
It's all decided by you.
I can't believe you said that.
You know, like, someone wrote it in a book or someone said it and you all agreed with it.
It's all decided by you.
Who said it?
That's right.
Who said it?
That's why we're all here today.
We didn't come here with our own will.
It's decided since we were born.
What?
What are you talking about?
That's what you think, right?
But why? Why?
Why do you think like that?
I've done some research like that.
Where did you do it? When?
I've read a lot of books like that and I know what you're talking about.
There are books like that?
Yes!
I'm more knowledgeable about things like that than Tetsuro Tamba.
It's said that there's a spirit world, but there isn't.
Then what is there?
When humans and animals die, they all go into that golden egg bag.
Are you stupid?
Why do they die and go in there like that?
I don't know.
I don't know!
This is a serious matter. Listen to me carefully.
Wait a minute!
What happens when you go in there?
Do you go in there as a human body?
I go in there as a soul.
You go in there like that?
You were born as a human this time, right?
Yes, yes.
If you die now, and you're born as a dog next,
you go into the dog's golden egg.
And you're born again as a dog.
The dog loves you.
Yes, yes, yes.
And you go in there like this.
That's what it's like.
You go in there like that.
Tetsuro Tamba is lying.
I want you to talk to Tetsuro Tamba about that.
I'll win.
You know, animals.
They say animals are pitiful.
If a lion was eaten by a deer,
a wild country would do something about it.
A lion being eaten by a deer!
What a great deer!
A lion being eaten by a deer! What a great deer!
If you watch "Kingdom of the Wild", a lion running to a deer's herd.
If you watch "Queen of the Wild", a lion saying "Run away!"
It's not pity.
It's not pity. It's human emotion.
Who are you? What do you want?
Even if a deer is eaten by a lion, it doesn't hurt.
It does!
It's just what you think. If you are eaten by a lion, it hurts.
Even if a deer is eaten by a lion, it doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt!
A deer being eaten by a lion, it doesn't hurt.
It's just what you think. If you are eaten by a lion, it doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt!
Even if a dog or a cat is eaten by a lion, it doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt!
You said it yourself!
You can see it by looking at their faces!
They don't look like that!
They look like this!
Like this!
Really?
When a lion bites a deer, does a deer look like this?
It's just what you think.
A lion being stepped on by a lion and a deer running away doesn't mean anything.
Why?
It's just what you think.
It's just what you think!
That's not true!
Even if you are bitten by a lion, it doesn't hurt.
It doesn't hurt!
And if a lion dies and becomes human again, it will go back to human again.
And it will go back to human again.
Are you serious?
I don't want to talk about this with you.
By the way, when I was on the bullet train, I saw you sitting in the back.
And you were reading a book you published.
I was reading it.
You were reading it.
Shut up!
Let me see.
You look great today!
I'm sorry. Let me see.
What's great about it? The content of it?
No.
You know...
There are two of you today!
You're so big!
You're brothers, aren't you?
Brothers?!
You're not here, are you?
How old are you?
What's up with you?
I'm scared!
How old are you?
I'm an aunt.
An aunt?
Do I look like one?
No way!
What do you mean?
The way you look...
I'm an aunt!
I don't know...
You look like you're about to get beaten up.
Thank you for coming.
Please come again.
Thank you.
Let me introduce you.
What is it?
I have a request for you two.
Please treat me like a disciple.
Not the other way around.
It's a lifelong request.
Not the other way around.
I watch all of your programs.
It's a real request.
Nice to meet you.
He's a sixth grader in elementary school.
Please.
How do you like it?
Disciple.
Right?
It's about time, isn't it?
Why?
I've been in this world for about eight or nine years.
Is it your ninth year?
I'm a disciple, but I don't have much to do.
Even though I'm a disciple.
Right.
Maybe you should go buy some juice.
I'm short.
I don't have much to ask for.
You should go buy some juice.
I'm a disciple of comedy.
I don't have much to teach you.
Right.
You shouldn't talk like that.
Right.
You shouldn't say things like that.
Right.
But you're a disciple.
Maybe you should think about it.
What's next?
Please tell me about each other's habits.
If you have something you want me to stop doing, please tell me about it.
Habits?
Habits.
What about me?
You have habits.
You sleep anywhere.
No, I don't.
It's not an exaggeration to say it's a habit.
What are you talking about?
You say you sleep anywhere.
I sleep too much anywhere.
I sleep in the dressing room all the time.
I get a really deep sleep.
I think it's amazing.
Right.
It's deep.
I snore and talk in my sleep in the dressing room.
Shut up!
I talk!
You even snore in the dressing room?
Not at all.
I don't snore all the time.
I do it when I'm at home.
Right.
When you sleep, you're usually happy.
But you sleep like this.
But you're like this.
If you don't like it, don't sleep.
But you're like that.
Like what?
You're drowsy but you're awake.
You're like that.
That's true.
Don't you say that?
It happens sometimes.
People who are half awake.
They're totally awake.
That's true.
The first person is scary.
It's scary.
It's true.
Or girls.
When you sleep together.
It's scary.
You're scared of them.
It happens.
Even if you say it.
Yes.
That's true.
I was told that.
What?
I don't say it.
But when I woke up in the morning.
My eyes were open.
Of course. You were afraid even in the morning, weren't you?
Yes, yes. My eyes were open.
Your eyes were always open.
Yes, yes.
But I wanted to keep an eye on you at that time.
Are you kidding me?!
You idiot!
And you two were hot.
Idiot!
Are you kidding me?!
No, I'm serious.
Anything else?
I have a question for you.
What's next?
Can you impersonate someone?
You can do it.
What?
I can do hundreds of impersonations.
Hundreds of impersonations.
You can do hundreds of impersonations.
But you impersonate more than me, don't you?
I don't impersonate myself.
But you know I impersonate people.
I don't know.
I've never impersonated before.
I'm not trying to challenge you.
It's easy to impersonate.
Teach me how to impersonate.
Did you teach me?
Yes.
Okay, okay.
Tell me how you do it.
What do you want me to do?
What number do you want me to do?
Number 35.
Number 35. Lupin 3.
You're heavy!
You're heavy.
Teach me.
This is...
How do you do it?
Can you do it with your mouth?
Yes.
What I want you to do is...
I've done it before on this show.
You go up and down and up and down.
But...
Does it sound like me?
I'm not trying to impersonate you.
I see.
You're trying to impersonate me.
If you try to impersonate me, I'll hit you.
That won't make you laugh.
It won't make me laugh.
I'll hit you harder.
I see.
What do you want me to do?
Lupin 3.
Does it sound like me?
I've done it before on this show.
Does it sound like me?
I'm not trying to impersonate you.
I'll hit you.
Fujiko-chan!
Oh my!
Fujiko-chan!
It's increasing!
Oh my!
Fujiko-chan!
It's so cool!
But I can't take the money.
Number two. Number two.
This is Taijo Hideki.
Really?
You too.
This is serious.
What about Taijo Hideki?
This is a little difficult.
You have to put a lot of pressure on your throat.
Really?
Yes.
I'll try it.
It's frustrating, but...
Is it similar?
That's right. That's Taijo Hideki.
What are you doing?
Hey!
That's what you're saying, right?
Yes.
It's frustrating, but...
What's wrong?
With such a loud voice...
Big V. Big V.
Really?
With such a loud voice...
It's frustrating, but...
Louder. Louder.
It's not like that!
It's frustrating, but...
Can you do it?
It's okay. It's okay.
You do it!
What happened?
Oh, the camera was off.
I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it.
I'll do it.
That's fine. That's fine.
Well, you know, I'm a comedian.
You know, I'm a comedian.
It's still new.
You know, there are a lot of comedians you only know in Osaka, right?
Like who?
Like what?
Like Ashiya Gannosuke.
You don't know him, do you?
Oh, Ume-san!
Who's Ume-san?
Donjo Gairo's Ume-san.
This is... this is number one. Number one.
The first thing I remembered when I tried to imitate someone was Ume-san.
And that's when I started walking the path of imitation.
Walk, walk, walk the path of imitation!
Ume-san, do this blue thing.
Yes, yes, yes.
Ume-san, do it, Ume-san.
Everyone, everyone, close your eyes and don't think of Ume-san.
Yes, yes.
Ume-san, don't think of him.
Yes.
Yes, yes.
Here I go.
Don't think of him, everyone.
Don't think of him!
What is that?
Well, that's...
From the first time you tried...
Yes, that's how it was.
Did you do it all?
No, I did it all.
What was the last thing you tried? The 108th one?
Ah!
108th one is already recent, right?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's recent, right?
Yes, it's recent.
What is it?
Everyone doesn't know about it anymore.
So, what is it?
No, you're already my relative's uncle, so...
You don't say things like that in a repertoire!
Isn't it obvious?
You say things like that in front of the audience!
Who was it just now?
Me and my relative's uncle.
I was told so.
Masato, you shouldn't say things like that!
Ah, I see.
What is it you want me to do?
What are you saying?
Hana-chan, what is it you want me to do?
What is it you want me to do?
You don't do it properly.
You don't do it properly either!
Don't say things like that in front of the audience!
Hiiroshi!
You don't do it properly!
What's with that? It's cool!
I told you it's Hiiroshi!
Oh, I see. Do it again.
Hiiroshi!
What's with that?!
My ears hurt!
Thank you for coming today!
You called me out.
It's always like this.
It was cold today.
It was good, wasn't it?
Take off your T-shirt.
It's cold.
You look like you've been out all day.
Next week...
What kind of clothes will you wear next week?
To the camera?
SM clothes.
Alright!
I want to see it.
That's why you're all wearing glasses like this, right?
Don't you want to see it?
The camera might not be able to capture it well.
For some reason, you have a whip in one hand.
In this case, you don't have to show us the image.
For now, let's focus on Nictar.
Let's focus on Nictar.
For Twitter.
Next week, Nictar and his manager will be wearing SM clothes and join us.
When Nictar's manager left, the head office said, "You're in big trouble."
And that means...
That's what I'm doing.
I hope you understand.
For now, we'll say goodbye.
See you next week.
Thank you for watching.