AISubs v3.5
I am now standing in front of the one-way intersection sign.
I just caught Hamada-san from downtown being in that hotel,
and I am in a state of tension right now,
but I would like to hear the truth about you and Ogawa Natsumi-san...
Ah, there he is! Hamada-san! Hamada-san!
Hamada-san! Let me ask you something!
What is it?
Is it true that Ogawa Natsumi is a Ferrazzio master?
No, you don't need to know that!
Then what is it?!
Which song is it?!
Shut up, you idiot!
Is it true that Ogawa Natsumi's nipples are black?!
Calm down!
It's none of your business!
Did you hit me?! Did you hit me?! I'll tell you!
Hamada-san! Let me ask you something!
What is it?! Which song is it?!
W-what is it?!
What show is it?!
W-what is it?!
W-what show is it?!
What right do you have to say such things, you idiot?!
It's "Rukuruku Konnichiwa"!
You're lying! "Rukuruku" is over!
Ah, I'm sorry!
"Rukuruku" has closed down!
F-f-follow me!
What is it?!
Is it true that Ogawa Natsumi's nipples are black?!
Of course it is!
What is it?!
You! Don't film me!
F-f-follow me, you idiot! You!
What are you doing, you bastard?!
Ah, Hamada-san!
Is it true that Ogawa Natsumi's nipples are black?!
They're not black!
What are you saying?!
Hamada-san! Don't film me!
Hamada-san?!
You! Are you going to film me?!
As you asked, Hamada-san approved of everything.
I'm glad.
Excuse me.
Ladies and Gentlemen
Good evening.
Welcome.
Actually, we were supposed to do a skit here, but suddenly we had a lot of things to do.
So we changed the subject.
What do you mean by "a lot of things"?
We've stopped calling ourselves "down-down" from now on.
Really?
I mean "unmarried" and "married".
So we've decided to call ourselves "down-down" from now on.
It's your era from now on.
It's terrible.
We don't know how to return a favor.
Really?
I just got a letter and opened it up.
It said "congratulations" at first.
That's terrible.
Well, keep up the good work in Tokyo.
Well!
What kind of reading was that?
It said "well" in the letter even if it was normal.
To be honest with you, this show is trying to make up for some of it, right?
But we're actually making up for this Tuesday.
That's right, we're supposed to make up for some of it.
But we're going to change that next year.
You don't have to do that! Just make up for it normally!
Today's episode will air next week.
Today's episode will air like I was chased by a reporter.
You don't have to go that far!
But it's warmer than you think, right?
No, it's my first time seeing you like that.
It was hard for me too.
I knew about it because we're partners.
That you were fired in October.
But the company told me it was top secret.
I had no idea!
But you knew about the staff's D?
Yes, I knew about it.
But you know, the staff told me about it on "YU- YA" and "NTV".
I think they gave me some money for that show.
But you guys didn't say anything about it.
I didn't say anything to my best friends.
Even so, you two are a little strange.
What? What? What?
In Osaka's words of an entertainer,
"it hurts" means "you two hurt me".
I don't like it!
I tried my best not to say it to anyone.
I'm pretty proud of it.
We took the Shinkansen from Osaka to Tokyo together.
What are you talking about?
I... I didn't say anything.
What?
We didn't take it with us.
We took it in the morning.
In Osaka's words of an entertainer,
"it hurts" means "you two hurt me".
We took the Shinkansen from Osaka to Tokyo together.
If you took it in the morning, it would have hurt.
It doesn't hurt.
I didn't think it would hurt.
I thought it was just a matter of time before it got caught.
But like you said,
I didn't really try to hide it.
Because today is "pair lock".
I didn't!
Today is "pair lock" and...
What kind of "pair lock" is that?
It's like a "kawajan" like that.
You wear it side by side like this and...
you do like this.
What is this?
It's hot.
What? That's not true.
You'll get caught for doing something like that.
I don't know why I got caught.
That's because your dad is sick.
All of my family members are sick.
Your dad loves writing, doesn't he?
But if you ask him about it, he'll say it's not true.
That's right.
I'm sure it came from somewhere else.
What?
Like when my dad talked about it.
Yeah, Go's dad.
He's a weatherman.
Weatherman.
He was bragging about painting a Soviet ship during the bombing.
That's a little weird.
Do you know about the Soviet ship during the bombing?
The one that turned red and white.
Like this.
You painted it, didn't you?
You only have two colors of paint.
Nobody can do it.
You're a fool. It's huge.
I painted it from above like this.
You can't paint it so beautifully like this.
When I gathered my co-workers and told them not to talk about marriage,
they said, "Tomorrow is a TV show about trade."
My co-workers said, "Why?"
I said, "My son will get married."
That was a different story.
It was a lie.
I thought it was really bad.
What?
Since October 1st until now,
I haven't said it out loud.
I felt sorry for you.
I thought you didn't know anything.
You don't know, do you?
Everybody knows you're not a virgin.
It's amazing.
At this stage?
At this stage.
It's definitely different.
At least it's definitely different.
Maybe you don't know about it.
You're lying!
Maybe you don't know about it.
Maybe you know about it!
You're lying!
Maybe you don't know about it!
You're not 100% sure that I'm wrong, are you?
You don't say it that much, do you?
You're not wrong, are you?
If you think about it.
You're the only one who's coming here, aren't you?
What do you mean?
What?
What do you mean?
How many girls do you have?
I don't know!
But it's really a waste, isn't it?
How many?
You're 26 years old.
How many?
Really.
How many?
Why did I make you so busy?
Well...
There's a lot of things.
What?
What do you mean "a lot of things"?
I didn't make you so busy.
There's a lot of things?
Ha-ha!
This is it!
That's not bad, but...
Why is it not bad?
What?
Why is it not bad?
What's wrong with it?
Why is it not bad?
What's wrong with it?
Why is it not bad?
Ha-ha-ha!
That's really...
It doesn't matter what you say.
Well, I heard about it.
I knew you were married, but...
I didn't know you were called "P-chan" at home.
I didn't know you were called "P-chan".
I was ashamed of myself.
My back was crushed with a "pakishi".
What did you say, "P-chan"?
Huh?
What did I say?
What did you say?
I was ashamed of myself.
What's wrong with you?
I know I'm dirty, but...
You've been called a lot, haven't you?
"Hitorin" and so on.
When I'm with my girlfriend, everyone calls me "Matsumoto-kun".
You're lying!
My girlfriends are all tough.
"Matsumoto-kun" and "Matsumoto-shi".
You wrote it in a book, didn't you?
It's "Matsumoto-shi", isn't it?
Well, you know...
But you've been quiet, haven't you?
About what?
About what you wanted to talk about today.
I'm really tough.
I'm much tougher than "Gorgo XIII".
I really can't talk.
Despite that, you two are soft.
That's a good thing.
But just not coming out of your own house, I thought it was really amazing.
Usually you end up going somewhere.
The world is really cold, I thought.
Yesterday I was doing a radio show in Osaka.
The radio show is pretty late at night, but in the middle of the cold mountains, there are quite a few fans.
When you go home.
Yes, yes, near the gate.
Yes, yes, and yesterday I was wondering how many people were there at the party today.
I was riding in my car and I looked around and there were only two people.
Less than usual.
We are completely separated now.
Yes, that's right.
Did you see it in the morning?
I did it the night before, didn't I?
I talked about it and the next morning at ten o'clock at Yoshimoto Kaikan, I got off the taxi with the manager and the reporter came and said congratulations.
When I got off and saw a woman on the outside of the car shouting "lie to me"
A loud scream.
lie to me
I was talking and she was around me shouting "lie to me"
It was terrible.
I was watching it.
Well, I guess you can't cheat anymore.
I can't cheat anymore.
I see.
After all, you don't like it when girls get married, do you?
I don't like it.
How about you?
I don't care.
You don't care?
I don't care.
Don't get mad at me again.
But in a certain sense, for a fan,
I don't know if you could say "I'm calm because I'm married"
What do you mean?
I'm calm because I'm married
Because you're under surveillance, you could say "I'm calm because I'm married"
But if you're not married, you can't say "I'm calm because I'm married"
You could say that, too. "I'm calm because I'm married"
What?
I'm calm because I'm married
No, I'm not calm at all.
What did you say?
I'm calm because I'm married
That's nice.
I'm calm because I'm married
I've been writing all the fan letters lately.
Matsumoto-san says "Don't blame me until you're 30."
But I'm not like that at all.
It's been 10 years since I was born.
Oh, really?
The woman you're looking at is an elementary school student.
How do you know that elementary school student?
Where can I meet an elementary school student?
Well, you know...
I hope you're happy.
Let me introduce you.
Please come this way.
She's your assistant for today.
She's pretty today, too.
Right?
She came on this show and recruited me.
How old are you?
I'm 22.
22 years old.
She's quite young.
You're an amateur, aren't you?
That's right.
You've never done this kind of work before, have you?
It's my first time.
It's your first time.
You have the courage to wear a swimsuit in a place like this, don't you?
Who was your fan before?
The day before yesterday, Hana-chan.
- Well, in this world... - I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what you're talking about, either.
Well, then, see you later.
- Thank you. - See you later!
Well, you need to have courage, don't you?
If you say "model-san" in front of people, it's fine, but...
Yes, yes, yes. Well, then, let me introduce you, too.
Well, Machan and Hamachan, what do you do on your days off?
Well, it's a simple question.
And how about your days off?
What's that supposed to mean?
- How about your days off? - Just leave me alone!
- Well, I have a letter for you. - No, no, no...
I sleep in the evening, too.
With who?
Who do you think I sleep with?
I sleep alone. Until evening.
- You sleep alone? - Yes.
You don't sleep together?
Huh?!
There's no newlyweds like that!
- What do you mean, "no"? - You sleep together, right?
Huh?
Do you sleep apart, like a wife and a 18-year-old?
That's pretty weird, isn't it?
Why do you sleep apart?
Well, sometimes and occasionally.
Why do you say "sometimes and occasionally"?
Shut up!
Let's move on.
This person is from Yokohama City, pen name Frillman.
Yes.
It's over, isn't it, Frillman?
It was a fun show.
Yes.
Why did it end?
I didn't get my number.
Well...
I don't get my number in this show.
This is what I saw on "Juniors Itsuka".
Well...
I thought that Matsumoto-san's fans come to his house because he's nice and angry, but he's not violent, isn't it?
Hamada-san looks like he's going to beat you up if you're angry.
You know she's there, so you can't enter her house, can you?
Well...
That's what I thought.
Did you know about that number?
Why?
Because you're nice or something like that?
No, no, it's nothing like that.
What are you talking about?
But in the future...
There's definitely going to be something like that.
But you've done a lot of things, haven't you?
Well...
I haven't said it before, but...
If I say it now...
It's going to come up again.
Well, I'll try it too.
It's going to come up again.
So...
I didn't say it much.
Especially in Osaka, I didn't say it.
But...
The thing I hated the most until now...
Yes.
Well...
I was tired and went home.
For two days, I didn't sleep much because of work and lack of sleep.
Yes.
"I'm going to sleep at home today!" I thought.
Yes.
I was sleeping all by myself.
Yes.
At about two in the morning...
Ooooh! Kan! Kan! Kan! Kan! Kan! Kan!
Is there a fire somewhere?
Ooooh! Kan! Kan! Kan!
It was getting closer and closer.
Yes, the sound was getting closer and closer.
It was on the tenth floor of the apartment.
Yes.
It was really noisy.
Yes.
"Is there a big fire?" I thought.
I opened the door and looked down.
There was a fire engine lined up.
Oh, in your apartment?
Yes!
Where is it?
Is it above or below?
"Isn't it this apartment?" I thought.
Then the fire engine came up.
Yes.
"Ooooh! Kan! Kan! Kan! Kan!" The fire engine came up.
Oh, it's you, Matsumoto-san!
I-it's a fire, isn't it?!
"Yes!" I said.
"I'm sorry!" I said.
"I have some news for you!" I said.
A lot of people came in.
The fire engine came up to the window of my house.
That's unusual.
Yes, it is.
I wonder what kind of person it is.
I thought I'd let the fire engine enter my house, so I called you.
That's right.
For now...
That's right.
If you come in through the window, I'll be scared.
The fire engine came up.
"No, you're wrong!" I said.
"The fire engine can't be turned off, can it?" I said.
Of course it can't!
Yes.
Even though it doesn't mean anything.
Even though it doesn't mean anything, it turned off and came back in.
Since then, it's been "Kan! Kan! Kan!" at night, but it's gone now!
I haven't slept for a while.
Do you want me to tell you a big story?
A big story.
I know you're all dressed up like this, but...
I don't know if it'll decrease from now on.
Because of what happened.
It'll increase for you, won't it?
What are you talking about?
I'm sure you think I'll still be popular even if I get married.
If you say you understand now, it's impossible.
Our staff said earlier, "No, you can't do it anymore, Hamada-chan."
If it's the staff, they'll say, "No, it's not like that."
Hamada-san's family, right?
They're there.
So, for now, it's fine if you don't raise it.
I see.
Right? And...
Oh, yeah, and...
When I heard my friends talking about it, Ucchan and Nan-chan went to interview me.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I didn't know about it.
So I asked them, "How is it? Are you interested?"
But Nan-chan still doesn't know what she's talking about.
She's like, "Nimimi-nimizu!"
You, shut up!
I don't know what you're talking about.
With Ucchan's pitiful face, she still doesn't know what she's talking about.
But Nan-chan practiced her pronunciation well.
But Nan-chan and I have known each other for a long time.
We've talked about a lot of things.
But she doesn't know half of what we're talking about.
You, shut up!
She doesn't know what we're talking about, but she's like, "That's enough."
Sometimes, I think, "Is it wrong?"
Oh, but it's wrong.
She's like, "Nimimi-nimizu!"
Now I'd like to talk about Osaka dialect.
I'm thinking of ending Osaka dialect today.
Oh, really?
When I'm older, I'll think of something new.
Today, we'll talk about a lot of things.
For example, "hosoi" (thin) things.
"Hosoi" (thin)
"Hosoi" (thin) means both Osaka and Osaka dialects.
"Kanari-hosoi" (pretty thin)
"Gottsui-hosoi" (thick and thin)
I think you all know what I'm talking about.
But more than that...
What do you say?
In Tokyo, people say...
"Gottsui-hosoi" (thick and thin) means...
"Cho-hosoi" (very thin)
"Sugoi-hosoi" (very thin)
What do you say?
"Cho-hosoi" (very thin)
We don't say that.
We say "Cho-hosoi" (very thin)
In Osaka, we say "Cho-cho-hosoi" (very thin)
Your teacher is a "Cho" teacher.
"Cho" teacher!
"Gottsui-hosoi" (very thin)
You say "Cho-hosoi" (very thin)
What do you say?
"Sugoi-hosoi" (very thin)
Oh, I see.
Osaka people say "Gottsui-hosoi" (very thin)
The next one is "Monogottsui-hosoi" (very thick and thin)
"Monogottsui-hosoi" (very thick and thin)
We don't say that.
Oh, I see.
"Monogottsui-ho" (very thick and thin)
Yes, "monogottsui-ho".
So, we're good for today.
Yes, we're good.
What do you want us to say?
What do you want us to say back?
Let's see...what should we say back?
We said "hosoi-koto" (very thin) and you said "hosoi" (thin)
Why?
"Kanari-hosoi-koto" (very thin)
"Gottsui-hosoi" (very thick and thin)
"Meccha-mecha-hosoiyo" (very, very thin)
"Monogottsui-hosoi" (very thick and thin)
"Monogottsui" (very thick and thin)
Yes, yes.
So...
Can you say it again?
Yes, yes.
"Hosoi-koto" (very thin)
Why are you so energetic?
"Hosoi" (very thin)
Today, we have a lot of fans from Hamada.
Why?
"Hosoi-koto" (very thin)
"Kanari-hosoi-koto" (very thin)
"Gottsui-hosoi" (very thick and thin)
Be energetic!
"Meccha-mecha-hosoiyo" (very, very thin)
"Monogottsui-hosoi" (very thick and thin)
Thank you very much.
See you in Hamada.
You know, for years and years, I've wanted to do a story like this.
"Hyakasa-shiwai" (a play on words)
But you know, today is already...
It can't be helped, right?
This is it!
Well...
This is it.
It can't be helped.
Once you say it, it's like this, right?
It's fine like this, right?
That's right.
Well, I think next year...
Next year...
I think we'll say goodbye.
Well, we're both stupid, you know?
You know?
But you know, if you think about it, it might be true.
If you think about it...
Ah, it's heavy.
No matter how much you use it, you won't think of it.
That's right.
Next year, again...
Um...
I want to do stories only for a while.
That's right.
Um...
So like you said, "Yonawareru-gu" is already...
Next year, it'll be released, right?
Yes.
Um...
I want to show it off in front of you all.
"Toshiage Ippatsu" will be released once, right?
Yes.
From the next week...
From the 9th of January.
It'll be the same as usual.
That's right.
You might like it, right?
Huh?
"Toshiage Ippatsu" will change suddenly and you might like it...
You're stupid.
It'd be funny if it was like this.
Why do you use this?
Next...
Next January 9th!
Let's meet again!
That's all for today.
Goodbye!