AISubs v3.5
- It's cold, isn't it? - Hello! Good evening!
What month is it now?
It's the opening, isn't it? It's the opening.
It's strange, isn't it? Last week I heard it was going to end.
You guys, look at the screen!
What kind of break is this?!
With kotatsu and hot water, it's warm, isn't it?
Don't shout!
You know...
It's not colder than a kotatsu with electricity in it, is it?
It's the coldest, isn't it?
Again and again, just for this...
I like kotatsu...
It's cold, it's cold...
I heard it was going to end in a short time, but it's not like that.
If you walk and look, it's a long time, isn't it?
Look at this!
It's a nice house!
It's funny when you look at it from behind!
It's cold...
Here, here!
Tsuinamikuritsu Hamadayama Hall!
You guys are dangerous!
Here, here, here!
If you do this, you're done for!
You're crazy!
Ah, the hot water is working!
Ah, it's warm!
Now, which one should we take off?
Ah, I see...
Here, here, here...
You...
A woman?!
Look at this!
What's that?
The hot water?
It's soaked in hot water and became like this.
You should have told us!
You guys made this place like this?!
This staff!
So, today...
We're not going to use the hot water.
We're going to use the Hamadayama...
Hamadayama Hall!
Let's go!
This program is a trilogy.
We provide western water resources...
And Oyama International Products.
- Yoshiko! - Yes, sir!
- Everyone! - Yes, sir!
- Kouhara! - Yes, sir!
- We have information that the terrorist group took over this place. - What?!
- We don't know what kind of scary guy they are. - Yes, sir!
- You have to find out! - Understood!
- But don't you dare show me your face! - Yes, sir!
- I've been interviewed today. - Thank you for having me.
- Is it your first job? - Yes, sir!
- I'm sure you've pressed the time card properly. - No...
- Time card, you say... - Yes, sir!
- It's my first job, so I'm a little nervous. - It's all right.
- I'm a veteran detective. - Yes, sir!
- If you have anything for me to steal, steal it from me! - Yes, sir!
- Stealing it from a detective is a strange thing to say! - Yes, sir!
- I'll do my best! - Thank you!
- But you have to have a nickname! - What?!
- You have to have a nickname! - A nickname?!
- Yes, sir! - Why do you need a nickname?
- Of course! Even if you look at the sun and see fireflies... - Yes, sir!
- You have to have a nickname! - Yes, sir!
- If you don't have a nickname, it won't start! - Like "g-band" or "texas", right?
- Yes, sir! - Huh?!
- Yes, sir! - "Yes, sir"?!
- What's your name? - Oh, Hamada!
- That's it! Hamada! - Yes, sir!
- Whenever you get something, say "Hamada"! - It's hard for me to say!
- You can say it! You can say it now, but you can't say it when you're nervous!
- You can say "Hamada"! You can say "Hamada"! - What's his last name? - Masatoshi. - Masatoshi. - Hamada! Masatoshi! - You can't say it at all.
- You can say it clearly! - I don't know. - Everyone, I'll give you something. - You can say "Hamada"! You can say it! - You don't have a hobby? - My hobby is watching records.
- You don't have a hobby? - I'm young, but I like playing with bonsai. - You like watching records and playing with bonsai? - Yes. - All right, you've decided! - Yes. - You like playing with records! - You can do it, you like playing with records!
- Nice to meet you! - Yes! - I like "Hamada" better. - But where is the criminal? - The criminal is here! You're in jail!
- I'm going to change my prison because this place is hard to sing because of you, you horrible guy! - The criminal is here! - I decided that he wouldn't come here! - You idiot! - Stop attacking me! - You idiot!
Let me go!
Shut up!
You won't?
What?
Don't use it!
Yes!
I have changed my mind.
Stop it!
Don't use it!
If you use it...
I'll kill you!
Stop it!
I'll kill you!
Stop it!
I'll kill you!
Shoot!
Hey!
Stop it!
Don't move!
If you move...
I'll kill you with one shot!
I'll kill you with two shots!
Stop it!
Is it a problem to do it suddenly?
I can't get enough of this arrogant face.
Is this a conversation between a detective and a criminal?
Stop it!
Don't come any closer!
Put some energy into it!
Don't come any closer or I'll shoot you!
All right, all right.
Look.
As you can see, I have round buttocks.
Where are you going?!
You're not even wearing a skirt!
It's round!
Don't come any closer!
Put some energy into it!
If you move, I'll shoot you.
What?!
If you move, I'll shoot you!
Put some energy into it!
I'll shoot you!
If you move, I'll shoot you?!
Yes!
Do you think I'm scared of you?!
If you're going to shoot me...
Don't come any closer!
You're a detective with round buttocks, aren't you?!
You're disgusting!
Put some energy into it!
Don't come any closer!
I'll shoot you!
I'll shoot you?!
You're playing with me.
No, you're wrong!
I can't shoot you.
I'll shoot you!
Put some energy into it!
I'll shoot you!
Stop it!
Ah!
Don't bother me!
What's going on?!
You're a creepy guy!
It's you!
It can't be helped.
It's a good strategy!
Who're you talking to?!
Nobody!
It's a good strategy.
I don't care!
You...
What?
Do you know anyone?
- Huh? - That's it!
- What is "that"? - What?
- That's it! - I wouldn't know!
- Do you know "soure carpet"? - What?
- Wrong! Do you know "russian roulette"? - No, no, no!
- Do you know "russian roulette" and "soure carpet"? - What?
- This gun only has one bullet. - What?
- I don't know where it is. - I'll shoot it one by one.
- How about this kind of rule that bad luck will die?
- It's fine. It's funny.
- You start. - Why me?
- The first shot is less likely.
- Go ahead.
- It's really scary.
- The next one is more dangerous.
- You!
- You even shoot smoke!
- What are you talking about?
- You!
- Die! How many times do you want me to shoot you?
- Will you die this time? - I'm really sorry.
- Stop it! - What?
- If you continue like this, it will be a real man-to-man battle. - What?
- What do you want me to do?
- Stand facing each other and walk forward.
- Do you know "soure carpet"? - No!
- Are you kidding me? - No!
- Cut it out. - No! No!
- Don't cut me out!
- Stand facing each other and walk forward.
- If you look back, I'll shoot you.
- Calm down.
Stand up and shoot!
Are you kidding me?
- If you stand up, I'll shoot you. - Who are you talking about?
I won't shoot you. I'm a doctor.
Ready? Ready?
Stand up and shoot!
Take three steps forward and shoot one bullet at a time.
- This is the rule for those who are late. - What are you talking about?
Isn't it obvious?
- Do you understand? - Yes.
- Ready? - Three steps, right?
Yes.
Be clear. Are you risking your life?
- It's about three steps. - No, it's not!
Be clear! Three steps?
- Yes, mostly. - No!
How can you say "mostly" or "mostly" in this world?
Say it clearly! How many steps?
- Three steps. - Three steps, right?
- Three steps. - Three steps?
- Three steps. - No!
- What? - What do you mean "three steps"?
I said "three steps" clearly!
- What do you mean "three steps"? - It's "three steps".
- It's "three steps", right? - Yes.
- Ready? - Yes!
One, two...
- I said "two steps", didn't I? - Three steps!
- You said "three steps", didn't you?! - I tried to think about it, but I couldn't figure it out.
Sorry!
Ouch!
I said "three steps"!
- Hey! - Yes?
Am I going to die?
Don't ask me!
- Can I ask you one last question? - Go ahead!
What did I do?
What did I do?!
Shino.
What did I do?! I didn't do anything! What did I do, you bastard?!
What did I do?!
But you ran away looking at me, didn't you?!
You only jogged, you bastard!
And you went to Jersey, didn't you?!
What are you talking about?!
What did I do, you bastards?!
Hey, don't step on me! I'm a woman, you know!
Turn around!
What did I do?! What did I...
What did I do?!
You're a bad guy!
What did I do?!
Tell me!
All right, this case is solved.
Thank you very much!
Today's skit was pretty good, wasn't it?
It was good, wasn't it?
You can do it anywhere.
It's a big hit next month.
You always do it with four people.
We did it with two people.
You always do it with four people.
So, when you say, "The next step is plan A," you're really here with me.
You always say, "Yes, that's right," but you don't say it because you don't know.
You say it in your heart.
Because you're next to me.
It was tough.
Oh, no, no, really.
The other day, I took a taxi here.
I asked the taxi driver to take me to Tokyo Station.
There's that taxi secret again.
That's right, that's right.
There's a lot of it.
I'm sure you've seen it on TV, so it's hard for me to say it.
He was a really good driver.
I asked him to take me to Tokyo Station.
He said, "Ah, I've seen it.
It's 'Downtown Thunder.'"
Was it really that good?
It was really good.
"Downtown Thunder," he said.
I've seen it.
"Ah, thank you for today," he said.
Ah, it's the best, 'Downtown Thunder'!
Now, you know, I'm not saying it because there are customers on it.
I really like it!
Now, there are a lot of young people on it.
But!
"Downtown Thunder" is the best!
Why are you getting so worked up about it?
It's the best!
"Downtown Thunder" is the best!
That's enough, isn't it?
I'm sorry I can't ask you about it.
Ah, you're not a good driver.
It's embarrassing for me, too.
No, it's not like that.
But...
All of a sudden...
Huh? You've been like this all along!
But...
Something's not right!
But...
There's one thing that's not right.
What is it?
Is it wrong for me to say this?
If you don't say it like that, I don't know what to do!
Please don't get mad at me.
My driving style is...
R-r-really?
I'm serious!
Huh?
My driving style is a little different.
Really?
Yes.
I think you should be alone.
If you're alone, you'll be the next Beat Takeshi!
Yes, yes, yes!
Is that so?
We've been talking about it.
I know it's rude of me to say this, but...
You know, the tall one...
He's a little...
That's me!
Customers like it! Customers like the way you say nasty things about fans!
I totally disagree with you!
I don't disagree with Ucchan or B-21!
Anyway, you're getting more and more correct!
But it's hard to disagree with you two!
I'm a strange old man!
Ah, customers...
Customers...
Can you say something about me?
Then shall we introduce the fans?
Shall we?
Yes.
Fans?
Fans...
Ah, hello.
Hello.
You know...
You were looking for an assistant, weren't you?
Yes.
And you've always had one.
That kind of person.
A cute person, right?
Yes.
And you were looking for one, and for the first time you chose one and had one come to you.
Yes.
You should be more surprised!
Yes!
Wow!
Yes, you sent me letters again!
That's right!
And the letters...
Ah!
You put them in a great place.
Yes, yes, yes.
Ah, it's really warm.
You got this, didn't you?
Yes, yes.
There's a picture in it, right?
Yes, yes.
You should send me more of these!
Yes, yes.
Because you really send me a lot of them.
Yes, yes.
You know, you wrote me a letter like this.
Yes, yes.
Um...
What is it?
Motivation for death.
Yes.
Because I thought it would be interesting.
Are you making fun of me?
I said "because"!
I'm sorry for saying that.
I thought it was "because"!
It's you, but you like downtown, right?
Which do you like?
I like you.
Why do you ask me that?
If I and Hamada were drowning, which would we dig up?
Yes, which do you like?
I like you.
Are you crazy?
Your answer is always like that.
When I say "me", you say "you're stupid".
You never say it.
Where is it?
Your voice.
My voice?
Stop it.
Your voice when you're digging up.
Is it stupid?
I wonder if it is.
What's with you?
You've never said it before.
Well, well, there is something like "do you like it or not?"
I don't mind it at all.
Go, Acchan.
Hey!
Thank you very much.
Here you go.
Give him a round of applause.
Well, well, really, more than I thought, you've sent me a lot of cute things, so I'm surprised.
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm happy.
Yes, yes, yes.
Well, then, I'll introduce you a little bit about digging up today.
Kouta Kaben Kouta has been doing it for a long time, but I don't do it that much anymore.
So...
What do you mean "so"?
Oh, in Tokyo dialect, "so"...
When you're young, you say "so"...
What do you say when you're young?
"Bye-bye"?
That's not how you say it!
So...
In Osaka...
"Hona"!
In Osaka, everyone says "hona".
"Hona"!
"Kostara"!
"Kostara" or something like that.
"Kostara" you say!
When you're young, you say it in a bad way!
In Osaka, even when you die, you usually say...
You say it?!
Have you ever died?!
Before you die...
"Hona" you say...
I said it when I was young.
"Kostara" you say "mata".
When do you say "mata"?
When you die, you say "mata".
Well, in that regard...
Do you have a little more time?
I think I do.
The other day, I saw a UFO.
Really?!
On this UFO show...
I didn't have time to write it. Really?!
I'm in a UFO show.
I'm in a UFO show, too.
Really, really.
And this time, it's a serious show.
A daily show.
I feel sorry for you.
Please come.
I feel sorry for you. A daily show...
Why is it like this?
I can't write it.
It's not like that.
It's like a serious show.
That's right.
That's right!
A UFO flew in and spat out vomit.
An alien was like this...
It came out of the disk and went like this...
An alien with a croaker was stabbing its back from behind?!
Who would believe it?!
The other day, I saw it.
I'm sure everyone would believe it.
A disk-shaped UFO.
It flew in like this.
A disk-shaped UFO?!
At that point, it was already a disk!
There are various types like hammock-shaped.
A UFO flew in like this.
Suddenly, it went diagonally like this.
There were about three holes and hot water came out!
What are you talking about?
It's funny, isn't it?
It's not funny!
I just remembered something.
I found something amazing.
That's why you said something like this when you lied.
I think I'll get a prize for this.
This is for real.
In Tokyo...
Well, everywhere in Japan,
a lot of people are talking about parking problems.
Parking a car next to a road...
It's in the way!
We need to think of a way to fix it.
A way to fix parking problems?
That's right! The road won't be congested anymore!
Definitely!
It won't be congested at all!
I'll say it loud and clear!
What will you say?
We'll make a car like this.
Like this.
We'll make a car like a beetle.
Even if you park next to a road...
You can't go up.
A car is like this.
Even if you're five feet apart, you can still look up like this.
Is it congested here?
It's not congested.
You're still thinking about it, aren't you?
It's like a roller coaster.
It's like a prehub.
The world's first fear experience!
Miracle Coaster!
That's what it says.
You have the eyes of a fool.
Miracle Coaster...
Only one person can ride it.
The driver can also ride it.
It's like a roller coaster.
What kind of experience is it? It's pitch black.
It's just an ordinary roller coaster. There's nothing special about it.
It's just an ordinary roller coaster.
Anyway, you ride it, right?
Yes. When I started riding it, I felt like I was an actor.
Get out of my way!
The boat hit me and I was like...
I don't know if it's funny or not.
Don't tell me about this when you get back, okay?
I thought you might say it, but you grabbed my money.
Why did you do that?
Let's do it one more time and go back.
Let's do it badly.
Shall we do it badly?
Yes.
Let's do it like a weak person.
By the way, today...
Hey!
We're going back.
Hey, you guys...
Hey!
We're going back.
Huh?
Are you listening?
Shall we do it?
Let's do it.
Shall we practice it?
Hey!
You guys can't go back!
Then...
That's all for tonight's "Lantern's Kid's Story."
Thank you for listening!
Get out of my way!
Why are you so cruel?
This is the first time you two are doing this kind of content, right?
How is it?
Well...
You know, I'm always next to Shinmai Keiji, right?
Right, right, right.
And there are other criminals, like four of us doing this content.
So, on the contrary, I felt like I had to do it while being a criminal.
Next week...
Um...
Let's make it a little shorter.
Yeah.
A little shorter.
What should we do?
Just one episode.
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Two minutes or three minutes or so.
Really?
Yeah.
Is the content that short?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
It's not like you're going to quit before you know it.
Don't say that.
Don't say such a bad thing.
That's all for now.
What kind of meeting is that?
Well, it's goodbye for now.
Goodbye.
Thank you for watching.