AISubs v3.5
- Good evening! - Good evening!
Do you know where we are today?
Well, we are in front of the Butsudan-ya.
- That's right. - Yes.
- We are in Tawara-machi today. - Tawara-machi.
- It's right there, in Asakusa. - Yes, it is.
- I said it once before. - Yes, you did.
- But you know, here... - Yes.
As you can see behind me, there is no Butsudan-ya here.
- It's the Butsudan-ya you mentioned earlier. - Yes.
It's about one kilometer in line with Butsudan-ya.
- I see. - They call it "Butsudan-street".
- That's right. - So it's okay for me to be a nomad like you?
No, you're not.
- It's a long time ago. Since you died. - I see.
- Look at the name of the shop. - What is it?
- I happened to see it. - Yes.
- "Hamada-shoten". - "Hamada-shoten".
- Yes. - It's a dangerous business, isn't it?
- It's the same here, too. - Yes, it is.
- Everything is like that. - Yes.
- Look at this. - Oh, it's closed!
Oh, it's like "Umekawa-taiho".
It's like "Mitsubishi-ginko".
It's like "Oden-ko".
- What? "Oden-ko"? - "Oden-ko".
"Radish", "egg" and "my father's love".
I heard that it's a dangerous business.
It's on the fifth floor of this building.
Hey, where are you going?
- What? - Where are you going?
- I'm done for today. - Oh, you idiot!
- What? - You idiot!
- Let's go home. - Oh, you idiot!
"Tonight's Downtown News" is on the fifth floor of this building.
Let's have a good time with "Place24".
- That's what we thought, didn't we? - Yes.
Please enjoy it until the end.
"Tenenado News", "Tenenado News".
Presented by Oyama International Products.
Teacher, this way please.
Good evening.
Ladies and Gentlemen.
Good morning.
Today's guest is famous.
Why?
Is it your 9th day here?
Yes, it's my 9th day.
Really?
He's the least cooperative guest here.
Why?
I don't know if he has another intention of laughing.
No, no. He was working hard until a while ago.
Really?
No matter what you say, I don't know.
Today's weather is bad and I don't know if you're in a good mood.
Oh, I got a watch earlier today.
What?
A bandai or something.
You got me a watch, didn't you?
Some kind of Ultraman watch.
Yes, yes, yes.
I don't need it!
Who told you that you're 26 years old?
No, but since you asked me, I won't say I don't need it, but I threw it away.
Well, I can't help it, but I'm grateful that this show has a good reputation, but recently TV basically doesn't come out, but it's not very interesting TV.
Well, now it's pushed to movies.
Oh yeah?
After all, the video is like that, you can watch a movie anywhere as long as you rent it.
That's right, but I don't like Japanese movies at all.
Well, it's not like that recently.
Oh, you like it.
There are a lot of good things up to now.
In the past, I went to Ogata Training School.
I was impressed.
Well, "kai"...
Kanji is a difficult word.
I don't know if you tell me to write it, but in one word, "kai".
I hate Japanese movies because I don't know why the title is "yo".
I don't know if I should go see it or not.
Even if you say "kai", I don't know what you're talking about.
But Ogata... Ogata Training School is "kai", right?
Ogata has a "ketsu" on his chest.
What the hell!
Ogata Training School has "ketsu" on its chest?!
What kind of movie is that?!
Morronyan has a "ketsu" on his chest since he was a kid.
He has a "ketsu" on his chest since he was a kid.
You idiot!
Huh?
You've always had "ketsu" on your chest!
You've had "ketsu" on your chest since you were a kid!
What's wrong with you?
Oh, you're an actor, too.
Well, I don't know about the title.
Oh, and there was "yasha".
Oh, "kakakura".
"Yasha"!
It's like a yakuza movie.
Don't say "yasha"!
"Kakakura" is "yasha"!
I don't know about "yasha".
There's "kanawan" under "yasha".
That's "yasha"!
That's "yasha" and "kanawan".
That's "hatsundai" and "mabune".
I don't know about "yasha" and "miniko".
It's "yasha"!
What kind of movie is it?
It's a new movie, but it has a strange title.
olgore
It's a long-lived and first-time production.
I don't want to watch it.
What kind of movie is "olgore"?
Like "dugore".
It's a long-lived and first-time production.
bataokaki
dugore
I don't want to watch it.
It's a long-lived and first-time production.
I don't want to watch it.
I like radio more.
You are very courageous.
I'm not tired of asking.
- Gachan! - Yes? - Hello?
- What? - Huh? - What? - I was busy.
- That happens. - Yes, it does.
- Gachan! - Yes? - Yes, hello?
- This is Hamada-nii-san.
- What's up? - Hey, hello? - Shut up!
- You're talking like a kid on the phone! - Hey, hello? - Speak up!
- Hey, don't run to her! She's a bit of a kid!
- A kid? - Yeah.
- Hey, kid, you're talking like a kid on the phone! It's Amada-san! - Hello?
- Hello?
- Hello.
- What's your name? - Matsumoto.
- Matsumoto? What's your name? - Sato.
- Sato? What's your name? - Sato.
Matsumoto.
Oh, you're Matsumoto-kun?
Matsumoto-kun?
Yes!
Matsumoto-kun who?
Sato.
Sato-kun?
Yes!
Sato-kun?!
Yes!
Matsumoto-kun?!
Yes!
Matsumoto-kun?!
Yes!
Where's Sato-kun?
Yes!
What's wrong with you?
Matsumoto... Sato...
Matsumoto-kun... Sato is your name?
Yes!
You're funny!
You don't think so, do you?!
Hey, you!
I'm sorry! I'm sorry for touching you when you're angry!
I'm sorry! It's my fault!
It's my name!
It's hot!
I'm sorry!
It's hot?
It's hot!
Why didn't you say anything?
Hello?
Um...
What's up?
I have something to ask you...
That's why you called me, right?
What's up? What happened?
Um...
I have something to ask you...
What?!
Why are you asking me?!
I have something to ask you!
Don't be childish!
I'm not childish! I have something to ask you!
Why are you worrying about me?!
I have something I want to know...
Don't be childish!
Hello?
I feel like eating something lately...
Maybe squid...
What should I eat?
Ask your mother!
Don't call me all the time!
You can't find a mother like that!
Hey!
I'm sorry!
You should ask your mother!
You're asking me something childish...
Why does a giraffe have a long neck?
That's a good question!
It's my first time hearing it!
Can you say it again?
Why does a giraffe have a long neck?
This is...
It's not a neck...
It's not a giraffe...
Don't talk to me!
It's not a giraffe!
Human beings are very patient.
That's why you can't wait for a snack at three o'clock and your neck is closed for a long time!
Is it true?
Yes.
Is it true?
It's true!
Is it a book?
Yes.
Is it a turtle?
Yes.
Who is it?
It's not anyone.
Is it me?
No, it's not you.
Is it a turtle?
What?
Is it a snake?
Is it a elephant?
Is it a gorilla?
I don't know!
What are you talking about?
Is it true?
Are you stupid?
Is it an elephant?
Are you stupid?
Is it a turtle?
Karl!
What?
If you say complicated things, I'll be in trouble.
I'm a kid now.
I see.
You're an old man.
Hello? I want to ask you something.
What do you want to ask me?
Say it!
Karl!
What can you answer?
Old man!
No one will call you in a place like this.
Old man!
Say it!
Gacha!
Hello? I want to ask you something.
That's a fax machine!
I don't use a fax machine either!
Why do you use a fax machine?
Get out of here!
I feel sorry for you!
I'm on the phone and you're yelling at me!
Hello?
Hello!
It's a child's phone call.
What is it?
Did I say something wrong?
No, it's okay. I'll say it again.
It's a child's phone call.
It's Matsumoto's sister.
It's not my sister!
It's Matsumoto's brother.
What's up?
I'd like to ask you something.
Yes, what is it?
Well...
I'm sorry, I'm on the phone right now.
What's up with you?!
It's not like you're a kid!
You've done a lot of things for me. I'll never forgive you.
You're not on the phone!
You should've talked to me more carefully!
Hello? What's up? It's me, your brother.
Is it okay now?
Yes, it's okay.
Is the phone okay?
It's okay.
Hello?
Yes, what is it?
Well...
I'd like to ask you something.
Yes, yes.
When will the baby be born?
I see. When will the baby be born?
Yes.
Kiss me!
It's a girl's phone call.
Kiss me!
Don't say it like that!
How do you say "kiss me"?
Huh?
How do you say "kiss me" like that?
Think of a way of saying it!
It's a girl's phone call.
Don't say "kiss me" like that!
You shouldn't say it like that.
You shouldn't say it like that!
Ask me something childish.
Childish?
Hello? What's up?
Hello, brother?
Yes!
Well...
I'd like to ask you something.
Yes, yes.
Why do dogs bark and cry?
Hmm...
That's a great question!
Is it a great question?
You've been criticized!
I see.
Yes!
Why do dogs bark and cry?
That's right!
This is...
a very difficult problem!
- Is that so? - That's why...
Brother, I'll look into it!
Don't hang up! Wait for me!
- Oh, yes! - Sorry! - Yes! - I'll be right out! - Yes! - Wait for me! - Yes!
Still not enough?
Hello? Do you understand me?
Hello? Do you understand me? Shut up!
Hurry up!
- Huh? - Hurry up!
This is a very difficult problem! Can you wait for me a little longer?
- Sorry! - Yes, I'll wait for you.
I'm already late!
- Sorry! - Yes!
Can you wait for me a little longer?
She hung up!
Huh?
This is the first time you're doing a new joke in public and you're doing it on TV.
I'm sure you all know how nervous you are.
You've never done this before, right?
Of course, I'm an amateur.
You know, if you're here, like I said earlier,
it's like you're getting your license for the first time and driving on the highway for the first time in your life.
Oh, you're good.
I don't know if you're good or not, but I'm sure you're nervous.
Yeah, it's pretty tough.
You can't tell how people will react if you haven't done it in public before.
You know, I'm physically very tired right now.
Why?
The radio show ended in Osaka last night and I drove all the way here today.
Oh, I see.
It took me seven hours.
Yeah.
I took my manager with me, but nobody came to pick me up.
And even if I say my butt hurts...
What?
Your butt.
I told you to say it!
You're making me confused!
Your butt just got into my eye!
I don't know if it's hygienic or not...
You're sick!
Do the ultimate choice in the car.
Choice?
Ultimate choice!
Tell me clearly!
Which one do you want?
What?
You don't have a name!
You don't have a name called Hamada Masatoshi.
Nobody calls you by that name!
Even your mother doesn't call you by that name!
She only calls you "you"!
You don't have a name!
Even your driver doesn't know you!
Because you don't have a name!
That's right!
Right?
And...
You have "Pio Pio"!
You don't have a name...
But of course...
You say "Pio Pio"!
You don't know without a name!
So...
Some scenes are cold...
You're cold when you have to rent a video!
You're cold when you're in the hospital!
You say it in the background!
"Pio Pio"!
Even so, if you meet and wait like that, you will be told "Hey!" or "Hey, are you there?" or "Hey, are you there?"
Right?
It's like a car accident.
What are you talking about?
A car accident.
Yes.
I hit my head and broke it.
You broke it, didn't you?
All of my organs were removed.
I can see it now.
But I didn't have a spare organ.
No one has it.
No one has a spare organ.
There is no such thing as a spare organ.
It's transparent and you can cover it like a mat.
It's a machine.
Does it have a round brain?
Yes, yes, yes.
You can cover it like this.
Or you can cover it like a ping-pong table.
It says "Bear's house" here.
And you can cover it like this.
Yes, yes, yes.
Which one?
What's wrong with you, ping-pong table?
Oh, really?
You are so uncool.
Everyone is staring at you.
But when you think about something, you start moving, don't you?
Oh, I'm thinking about something now.
If you exercise too hard, you will catch a cold.
You should go home early.
I'm sorry.
Yes, yes, yes.
Why do you keep catching a cold?
It's a trend now.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
It's been a long day.
It's been a long day. I can't go home.
I can't go home as soon as I wake up.
I can't go down.
It's OK, though.
Well, let me introduce you a little bit.
Chiba Prefecture.
Yes.
Takatani Masami-chan.
Yes, I'm here.
Good morning, good evening. Thank you for doing "Mayunzai" every time.
It's "Osaka Dialect Lesson", but there is a story that there is a different way of saying "eating" on the radio before.
There are only two people who say "eating" on the radio.
I'm sorry, but it doesn't matter if it's "Osaka Dialect Lesson".
There are only two people who say "eating" on the radio.
It's the same for girls, too.
Yesterday, I said "eating" on the radio.
I said "eating" on the radio.
Yes, you did.
Why are you so quiet?
"Osaka Dialect Lesson" is a little far from "Osaka Dialect Lesson", but I've been thinking about it for a while.
There are "ame" and "amedama".
What do people of this era say about them?
Do they say "ame"?
What do you say?
Just "ame"?
Do you say "ame taberu"?
Do you say "ame mottenengi" but you don't eat it?
You don't say "taben", do you?
No.
"Osaka Dialect Lesson" is different.
"Osaka Dialect Lesson" has "chan" in it.
"Ame-chan".
You think it's a lie, don't you?
It's true.
"Ame-chan".
It's absolutely true.
Only young people say it, but old people say it, too.
That's right.
A while ago, a yakuza came.
A yakuza.
A yakuza with a bad-looking face and shaved eyebrows.
A yakuza with a strong punch power.
A yakuza like this came and said, "Ame-chan is caught".
It's true.
It's true!
It's a lie!
It's really "Ame-chan", isn't it?
Ask anyone in Shindogi and Osaka. It's really not a lie.
"Unko" is also called "unko-chan", isn't it?
"Unko-chan"!
It's true!
It's all "chan".
What else is there?
What?
"Ame-chan".
It's "Ame-chan", isn't it? "Unko-chan".
What?
It's... "hama-chan".
In your case, it's "matchan".
"Matchan"?
It's "matchan", isn't it?
It's a product, isn't it?
It's not enough to be called "matchan".
When you touch dirty things or something like that...
"Wow", and everyone runs away...
You do something like this, don't you?
You do this, don't you?
What do you call this?
What?
"Yingato"!
"Yingato"? Don't say such things!
"Yingato"!
"Yingato"?
Give him a hint.
What was it in Osaka?
Hey!
Huh? "Bebenjo"?
"Bebenjo"?!
Isn't it?
It's like, "You dirty bastard!"
Excuse me, excuse me!
Which country are you from?
Kansai.
Oh, Kansai!
You're not from Bebenjo!
This guy is dirtier than you!
There's a coffee shop, right?
When you go to a coffee shop, what do you ask for?
In Osaka, we say "chashiba".
We also say "ryudon".
"Ryudon" means "ryudon" as it is?
Yes, yes.
In Osaka, we say "gyuushibaku".
No, we say "gyuuiwasu".
We say "gyuuiwasu".
Yes.
So today, we'll do these two.
We'll ask everyone one more time.
That's right.
Today, we'll go all out.
That's right.
Here we go!
When you go to a coffee shop...
chashiba
When you go for ryudon...
ryudon
Get lost!
We say "gyuuiwasu"!
You can't change it!
Yes, you're right.
Here we go again!
When you go to a coffee shop...
chashiba
When you go for ryudon...
gyuuiwasu
This means...
"gyuuiwasu"!
That's right!
That's all for today.
Goodbye!
Oh my, oh my, oh my.
What's wrong?
Hey you guys!
You know what?
Yeah?
I don't like it when people misunderstand me like this, but...
Next week, I'm thinking of doing a skit.
What do you mean? Why would you misunderstand?
I don't like it when people think I'm different from the other guys.
That's not true!
It's definitely not like that.
It can't be helped because I'm not like the others.
That's what you say!
You know, we've been doing "shabeguri mantai" all this time.
Yeah.
Even when we're doing our free talk, we don't use our bodies that much.
That's why people who watch us think of us as lovely people, but sometimes...
It seems like we won't be doing opening scenes again next week.
Oh, really?
I'm so happy!
It was tough on screen, but...
It's amazing.
It's hard to get into it.
It's cold like this.
It's a lot easier now that it's gone.
Yeah, it's easier.
I hope we can focus on it again.
Anyway, goodbye.
Don't come back tonight.
Goodbye.