AISubs v3.5
Well, you know, we've come to a great place today.
We've come from a great place.
Today we're in Kitaguchi, Jujo.
And behind us is Jujo station.
You know, these two places are like Saitama.
I see. Come to think of it, everyone's cheeks are red.
Mom, I'm sorry.
You're in a good place!
No, I'm not!
You're in a good place!
No, I'm not!
You're in a good place!
No, I'm not!
Really, really!
I'm going home now.
Hey, hey, hey!
Let's go and advertise.
Yeah.
If you want to buy rice...
Kunimatsu.
What?
Kunimatsu.
Kunimatsu!
Hey, hey, hey!
Can you cut this out?
Hey, hey, hey!
Who are you?
Today we're in Jujo.
Shinohara Garden.
And that gallery at Mr. Atami's place is also pretty good.
It's always in my mind.
And actually, even now, there are actors who have been acting here for a long time,
but they have to leave for us.
If you can't do it, you'll stay here.
Is that so?
I'm really sorry about that.
Well, let's do it here for a year.
It's hard!
There's nowhere to stay!
This is amazing, isn't it?
Amazing!
This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen.
What?
I've never seen an actor stand in front of an audience with a tatami mat like this.
Shall we go to the gallery?
Yes.
Thank you.
THE GALLERY
I want to protect you from this Shinohara Garden today.
Toyosui
This program is brought to you by Toyosui...
...Oyama International Product...
...and Sandax.
Toyosui
It's the 8th episode of "Toyosui".
You've done it 8 times already!
I've done it 8 times already.
Last week, 7th episode, I thought about quitting it.
Really?
I thought about quitting it.
I told you I'd do it again if you asked me what I'd do for the 6th episode.
I told you, didn't I? But if you think about it, I don't have any ideas.
I thought about quitting it, but I thought I'd do my best today.
Do your best today and see what you'll do next week.
I don't know what I'll do next week, but I've been to Tokyo and Osaka.
As expected, there's something about Osaka's power that you can't find in Tokyo.
That's right.
Osaka's...
That's right, Osaka's fans come to see you.
Osaka's fans are amazing.
Are you a little mad?
I'm a little mad.
Really?
The reason we're in Tokyo now is because we ran away from Osaka's fans!
That's right!
It's scary!
It's fun!
Everywhere, I think that's the case, but prank call...
Prank call, it was a disaster.
It was a disaster.
It was really terrible.
It was terrible.
Around three in the morning, I got on the phone and suddenly...
I saw a pipe organ playing on the other side of the phone.
I was surprised.
Really!
Seriously!
It must be a pretty rich person's voice!
They must have played it in their big house!
That's right!
With their in-laws, saying "Oh, you're here again!"
Thank you very much.
I thought it was "desler" or something like that.
Again?
No, really.
"Desler", right?
It was disgusting.
And what came next?
Then it was over the phone again.
Then it was even more disgusting.
What was it?
They were reading the Bible.
They were reading the Bible to Jonathan.
It was disgusting, but I wanted to ask.
But when I asked, they gave me a badge.
What?!
You have nothing to do with it.
I just asked with my eyes closed.
It's disgusting, isn't it?
And they're doing it half-heartedly, right?
They're not going to call you, but they're going to ask their friends and see if it's true or not.
They haven't been able to confirm it yet.
That's right, that's right.
Is it true?
They say their own names.
Hello, are you Mr. Yamada's fan?
If you say "no", they say "then who are you?"
But you don't know who you are!
I was really angry with you last time, but you asked me "is Yoko-san here?"
I was angry with you last time, but you asked me "is Yoko-san here?"
I was angry with you last time, but you said "she is here."
I see.
But they were like "huh?"
Wait!
You said that before, didn't you?
Your fans were like "huh?"
What are you doing?
Huh?
I was surprised. I thought you were wrong, but you said "she is here."
"Who are you?" I asked you.
"We're Gushi Prefecture," you said.
Who are you?
"She is Yoko-san," you said.
Who are you?
"She is Yoko-san," you said.
But you changed your phone number, didn't you?
Yes.
What did you do?
You sent a telegram.
Yes.
When I called you, you didn't answer the phone. On the contrary, you sent a telegram because you knew the address.
I sent you a telegram.
Thank you very much.
You sent me a telegram, and I was happy if you were there. If you weren't there, a telegraph company came and said, "I received a message."
So I went home.
You received a telegram, didn't you?
That's right. "Please call me when you get home." There was a message like that.
So I came home, and I left it there. For the time being, I called the telegraph company.
"Hello, this is Kongo Kongo." It seems like a telegram had arrived.
"Oh, Mr. Matsumoto?" "Yes, I'll call you. Please wait a moment." The old man said.
He was about fifty years old.
He waited a moment, and then he called me. "Yes, I'll call you now." "I love you, Matsumoto."
Such a middle-aged old man said, "I love you, Matsumoto."
"What was it?" "I'll send you a telegram."
No, no.
And the telegraph company is the most valuable.
When we go to business, we say "business."
For example, we go to a big movie or a supermarket.
And we do manzai or play games in front of everyone and go home.
When it gets like that, bad guys still come and go.
When we go to the station's platform, people still come and go.
When people come and go, they steal what people are wearing.
For example, if you put sunglasses on your chest, they will break it.
"What are you doing?" "I'm a thief."
If you steal something, it makes you angry.
But if you get caught in a crowd and your thumb tries to break it...
What's wrong with you?
"Why are you chasing me?" "What's wrong with you?"
When you were on TV, you said you broke your bone.
I'm happy you say that.
Well, I'm chasing you.
I don't want you to say that.
The other day, when I was drawing Himejika,
I took off my brand-new sunglasses and ran away.
Kouta said you had a career.
I took them off and ran away.
I usually give up,
but they were pretty expensive,
so I said, 'Wait a minute!'
I was embarrassed,
but I said, 'Wait a minute!'
And I ran away.
You're lying!
You ate the bananas like this.
Kouta gave them back to me today!!
Kouta said, 'Walk a little more.'
I said, 'Wait a minute, wait a minute!'
You fell into the river.
- Many people are like that. - Yeah, there's many different people.
It shows that people from Tokyo really have a fashion sense.
- Yes, they wear different things. - That's amazing.
Men think a lot about things like that these days.
That's right. It's fashionable.
In our movies when we were students and high school students, there were only three patterns.
There are three uniforms.
That's right.
In terms of patterns.
That's right.
IB, Yankee and Surfer.
That's right.
There were only these three.
We had to do at least one of these three.
But it was difficult at the time.
That's right.
There were many ways of doing it.
IB was IB and we had to do IB from beginning to end.
But if you did it halfway, it would be cooler.
That's right.
You could be licked.
That's right. You had to do IB from food to drink to everything.
No.
We don't have that era. You can't do it from food to drink.
Why can't you do it from IB?
Everything is IB, but you can't do it from food that is IB-like.
What do you mean?
Everything is IB, but you can't do it from food that is IB-like.
What does IB eat?
IB is...
IB...
You can eat anything that is IB, can't you?
We are all human beings. We just wear different clothes.
We are forced to eat.
You've been drinking water from IB from top to bottom.
That's weird.
That's weird that you drink water from IB.
That's weird.
Can you drink water from IB?
IB eats popcorn.
Are you going to shut up because you've decided it?
Why do you drink popcorn from IB?
How about coke from IB?
You can drink anything!
Why coke?
Surfing is still difficult. Surfing.
Surfing... What is difficult about surfing?
Anything you eat, anything you drink.
Surfing is difficult.
Surfing is amazing!
You have to look healthy.
You have to wear a suit and don't get sunburned.
If you're skinny, you look cool when you're riding waves.
That's why I'm training my arms.
But if you're not fat, you look like you have muscles.
What do you call it? "Kamoshika's legs"?
"Kamoshika's legs".
What's with "Kamoshika's legs"?
If you watch a marathon, you'll say "what amazing legs".
"Kamoshika's legs"!
What I did was "Kamoshika's feet".
"Kamoshika's feet", "Kamoshika's face", "Kamoshika's feet"
You say that?
You say that on the show, "what a great feet", don't you?
You don't say that every day, "Kamoshika's feet like feet", do you?
You say that every day, "Kamoshika's face like a lizard", don't you?
That's also a face like a lizard's face.
You say that every day like this, don't you?
And you don't say that everyone has Kamoshika's face like this, do you?
I don't care about that. What do you eat, sir?
What?
What do you eat, sir?
I eat seafood.
Are you stupid?
What?
What do you mean by "seafood"?
What do you mean by "seafood" when you say "sir"?
There are various things like "koro" and other things like that.
Who doesn't know "koro"?
You don't know "koro", do you?
It's whale oil!
It has black eyes and white tongue like a sponge. Don't you know it?
I don't eat "koro", but I don't eat anything.
What do you eat, sir?
What?
What do you eat, sir?
I eat seafood.
Do you drink sea water?
Do you drink seawater?
Yankees are the oldest. Yankees are difficult in everything.
Because you have to surround yourself with Yankees.
Your family and everything is Yankees.
Yankees are rich and poor, aren't they?
You're almost a family member, aren't you?
Why doesn't your family become like this?
Because my mother was a Yankee.
Yankees are different from strong Yankees.
My mother was strong.
Was she short?
She was strong.
She was good at her job, too.
I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed.
What did you say?
She was short.
Your mother was short and she was a green woman.
Your father was a green man, too.
When I was in elementary school in Iran,
I went to my mother's house first.
I said, "Have a good day."
My mother was angry with my father.
She said, "It's weird here."
She said, "Why is your mother a Yankee?"
She said, "Because you're not my mother."
She was almost a gentle mother.
She was almost a Yankee!
My mother said, "You idiot! You're a green woman!"
If she hadn't said that, I wouldn't have done it.
I gave her to you safely.
It has nothing to do with you.
My mother said, "You're a dark-skinned woman. You're a green woman."
She said, "You're a dark-skinned woman."
What did you say?
It's like in cooking or something.
At first you cut like a monkey.
Then you have a lot of hair.
You have a lot of hair.
How annoying!
You have a lot of hair.
How annoying!
You have a lot of hair!
You go to the dentist and you have a lot of hair!
You're a sportsman now!
(applause)
- How many minutes did you do it for? - About ten minutes.
- About twelve minutes. - About fifteen minutes? - About twelve minutes.
- About twelve minutes? - Yes.
Fan letters
Even fan letters from Osaka to Tokyo are cold.
Oh, really?
Yes, yes, yes.
What kind of fan letters?
For example, if you write a phone number,
you can write "it's fine even if it's a prank call, so please do it".
In Tokyo, you can write a phone number and say "it's fine even if you do it".
That's terrible!
It's a bit of a high-profile attitude, isn't it?
Yes.
Well, with that, let's introduce a little more today.
Yes.
Is there anyone here who wants to go out with Ashii?
No!
Oh, you're a good girl!
Oh, you're out?
Oh, I see.
Is it legal or illegal for you to say that now?
Everyone knows that Ashii has a girlfriend.
Oh, really?
You have a girlfriend, don't you?
No, I don't!
Well, she was taken away from me, but it doesn't matter.
There's a question about whether Ashii has a girlfriend or not.
This is really...
How can you have a girlfriend?
I want a girlfriend.
It's fine, isn't it?
No, no, no!
Of course it's fine!
It's true!
Seriously!
I don't know what to say anymore.
I really want a girlfriend.
Why me?
What?
Why me?
Huh?
I knew it.
There's not much chance of me having one.
I was thinking of going to Nelton next time.
Oh, you're going to Nelton like that?
It's not easy to spend lonely nights like this.
You know, when you go to a disco, you go dancing, right?
I don't dance, so I can't go.
But for now, I'm dancing like this.
Are you serious?
No one dances like this!
No, but I'm dancing like this.
I usually dance like this.
No, I'm sitting like this.
For now, I'm going back to the back.
I'm smoking a cigarette with my gloves on.
And I'm dancing like this.
I'm being pushed back like this.
Everyone is dancing in the middle.
I'm smoking a cigarette like this.
And I'm going back to the back.
If I hated dancing like this, I'd go back to the back.
And I'm dancing like this.
There's no one like you in the world!
It's you!
I'm dancing like this from bottom to top.
There's no one like you.
Apparently, there is.
Get out of here.
No, I won't.
You really want me to dance, don't you?
Shall we talk about it today?
Sure.
I've heard a lot of things.
From people in Tokyo.
Like the words we use.
For example...
Even if you're watching a drama or TV show...
There are a lot of words you don't know in Osaka dialect.
For example...
"Torihada".
Don't say it!
You said it before!
Was "Torihada" that funny?
"Torihada"?
I say "Osaka Torihada" is "Torihada", but...
I don't say it much.
"Osaka" is "sabuibo".
It's...
It's something you touch.
Even if you're a creepy girl, if you're touched by a creepy old man, you'll be like "sabu", right?
You'll feel "sabu", right?
It's like "sabuibo".
I don't say it like that!
sabuibo
I don't say it like that.
Also, "osaka" is "sabuibo".
If a kid says "sabuibo", you say "sabuibo".
sabuibo
Do you say "sabu"?
If you're at home and you're mad, you say "sabu"!
"sabu", you say "sabu"!
Mothers in Tokyo are generally kind.
"sabu", you say "sabu".
You say "sabu" like "don't mess with me!"
"osaka" is different.
sabu
He doesn't say it right away. When he's angry, he goes like "Muah!"
Muah!
No, seriously. Seriously.
He even puts out his hand.
He does.
He's like "Bake!"
That's good. Osaka people are easy to get excited about.
You don't know what's going on in the middle.
Muah! If you do that, I'll...
Wait!
Again, what is it?
I don't know, though.
Right, right.
And, you know, when you're angry...
I don't want it! I don't want it!
You don't want it?
Do you want me to touch you?
Don't touch me!
I don't want it, damn it!
And, you know, when you're in a bad mood...
I don't want it! Stop it!
Right?
What I used to say a lot was...
About poop...
Right, right.
I didn't know anything about it.
I thought I could communicate with it, too.
Is poop here poop?
Right, poop is poop!
You can't call it that.
No, it's not.
In Osaka, it's 'baba'.
Right, right.
And, you know, when I was a kid...
I couldn't communicate with 'baba'.
I see, I see.
So my name is...
Poop.
If I said 'baba' in Osaka...
I'd say 'baba', you know.
It's really like that.
Seriously.
Now we don't feel weird about it, but when we were kids...
we'd say 'giant' and 'baba'.
Even though we'd become fat.
Even though we'd become fat, we'd say 'giant' and 'baba'.
We'd hold our butts down.
It's just like that.
So everyone, we don't have to sing together anymore?
If we do that, we'll do it again!
So, let's say goodbye.
Got it?
If you say 'yes', we won't feel weird about it.
Please do that for me.
Got it?
Seriously!
Even if we do that, we won't feel weird about it.
If we do that, we'll do it again!
Got it?
So, let's say goodbye.
Let's do it!
One, two...
Well, it's over.
To be honest, I was worried about the story.
But you managed it.
It was an old story.
I've only done it once or twice.
This is you.
It's addictive.
It was about six years ago.
Yes.
It's addictive.
This show is a little...
Well, you know...
You don't know until you try it.
Yes.
It's a little scary.
What will you do next week?
Huh?
Yes.
Don't say it until midnight.
Well, now...
I'm in downtown regular.
In Tokyo and Osaka.
There are six shows.
It's the most headache show.
Even though you're a staff member.
The staff is your assistant today.
They say you're cute.
When you're holding someone's head...
Even Kyle Maggio says you're cute now.
You really didn't watch it, did you?
No, I didn't.
You're annoying.
Well, you know...
It's getting sad.
Let's say goodbye.