AISubs v3.5
Thank you.
Yes, good evening.
You came to Asakusa today, didn't you?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's amazing.
The ticket price is 1,200 yen per person.
Yes, various people.
I thought it would be expensive for 1,100 yen per person, but it was usually 1,800 yen.
Look, amazing people came out.
The members are a little ...
This "Candy Boys" is our leader.
Oh, it came out like this.
This person was strict.
I was happy.
I came to this person.
Oh, I got hit in the head.
The name of the person I came to is "Bontaname".
Oh, is that so?
Yes.
Jonah is from North Carolina.
Yes, yes, yes.
If it's not the rain now, it's no good.
No, no, no.
And this is Asakusa's famous France, isn't it?
Yes.
Like Pakistan and Kinchan.
I see.
There was a time when they were training here.
Oh, France.
Miss Baby.
Right?
She must be like that.
Miss Natasha.
Right? She must be Japanese.
Today, we will do it in an amazing place.
Oh, a little angry old man has come.
Let's talk with this angry old man.
Good evening.
Father, where are you going?
I'm going to a bar.
Oh, a bar.
I want to drink a lot of beer.
I'm going.
I'm going to a bar.
Father, we are local people.
What are you talking about? We are from Osaka.
You are talking like you are from Osaka.
It's not like that.
It's fun.
A place like this...
Even in Osaka...
This place is scary.
Isn't it, Father?
It's scary.
I want to ride a ride, but I can't.
Well, it's here.
It's here.
Right?
Well, it's here for now.
It's here for now.
Right.
I haven't ridden a horse before, so I want to try it for the second time.
Right.
Let's do it.
Let's do it!
(English subs by Emma - @differentoceans)
Ladies and gentlemen...
I'm not here to say goodbye or anything like that, but I don't want to talk about costumes at all.
That's true.
Well, it's the second time today, so I'm sure you'll think about costumes from now on as well.
But it's going to be a problem in an amazing place like this.
It's amazing. There's no such place like this in Osaka, is there?
No, it's not.
It's the second time today, but last time it was a little younger.
It's kind of dark in here today.
It's kind of loud in here!
There's about four of us in here, so it's kind of scary.
It's like we're in an amazing theater.
It's a shame Ryuji hasn't shown up yet, though.
Yes, that's right, but...
Well, it's only the second time today, so I don't think you've seen us in full yet.
I'm sure you have!
But you know, I'm glad we've been able to go downtown lately.
The name?
Well, I don't think it's very cool, but I'm glad we did it.
It was different at first, the name "downtown" and...
That's right.
We didn't have a manager, so we had an executive from Yoshimoto's company give us a name once.
And we met an executive.
Yutage.
When we debuted, it was more popular.
And it was darker.
And we were doing dark manzai.
And the executive called us and said, "You guys have a name."
It's dark, so let's make it bright with just our names.
And we said, "Teruo and Haruo."
And we couldn't say anything!
When we heard that name, we thought it was Teruo and Haruo!
Yeah.
Well, Teruo and Haruo are in today's stage atmosphere, but here...
Here, it's quite right.
But now...
You're particular about it.
I'm not out of breath, but...
Well, it's been a hot topic recently, but even if you watch it on TV, the refugee problem is getting serious.
It's been like that for a long time!
Yes, yes.
With this song, 24 hours on TV, "Love saves the earth",
the refugee problem has been like that for a long time.
"Love saves the earth", you know?
I think we should all think about how to solve it.
That's the best solution.
Even if you're watching this,
you may be thinking about spending a dollar or five yen on a bottle of beer.
"Love saves the earth", you know?
There are some words you shouldn't say at first.
"Love saves the earth", you know?
That's why they want more than food and blankets, don't they?
Tetsuko Kuroyanagi goes and asks for a blanket, too.
It's not like that!
What they want more than food and blankets is...
first of all, they want to see the flies on their faces.
It's irritating, isn't it?
They don't know what their faces look like.
Are they angry?
The flies are flying diagonally.
Can the flies fly cleanly?
It's funny, isn't it?
But it can't be helped.
What?
They don't have food, so they feel sorry for them...
They are all skinny!
Yes, yes.
They look like ribs...
They are not good for themselves, right?
Maybe they are being deceived...
Idiot! You just saw it!
They don't have food, they don't have energy, they don't have energy...
And you see...
There are many babies, right?
They have a lot of energy, don't they?
They do many things, don't they?
It's energy in a different sense.
They do many things, even if you are tired.
- Well, yes, but... - I want you to admit it!
- What? - Their "no reaction".
- What is "no reaction" for those people in Africa? - They do many things for everyone, but when the camera is turned on...
- That's hard! - What?
- They must be exhausted! - They do many things for everyone, but when the camera is turned on...
- They say "hello"... - They say "hello" five times.
- They are working because they don't have that energy! - Even here!
- They do many things at night. - They do it no matter what!
- It's rare that they... - They do it no matter what at night!
- They don't fool you like that. - What?
- They are told "rich in Japan" now, don't they? - That's right.
- Certainly, compared with Shiroi, I think Japan is rich in price. - That's right.
- The cheap movies are on budget, even if we go to the national TV program! - That's right...
Yes, yes, yes, quiz shows are expensive. The prize money is one or two million yen.
Yes, yes, yes.
But today we'll do a quiz.
A quiz?
No.
What?
You did it last week, didn't you?
What did I do?
Last week you said you'd do a quiz and you did it all of a sudden.
Yes.
For the second time.
Yes.
You can't do it.
It's been a week.
It's famous in the comedy world that you don't do the same joke.
Where is it?!
Where is it in the comedy world?
Last week I...
Are you in it?
I'm in it.
I've grown up since then.
What?!
That quiz is different.
A different quiz?
Yes, a different quiz.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Please do your best.
Can you do it?
No, no.
I don't know why you don't do it.
I know.
You know it, don't you?
I know what it is and how it is.
I'm counting on you.
That's not going to happen.
That's painful.
That's not going to happen.
Then, Mr. Hamada.
Mr. Hamada, you're up first.
Mr. Hamada, do your best today.
Your daughter is here.
That's right.
Which way do you want to go?
Over there on the left side of the bridge.
Dad, do your best!
I'll do my best.
Dad, do your best.
Where do you work?
I work at a peach shop.
I think it's easier for you to understand.
It was a little dull, wasn't it?
Do your best, Mr. Hamada.
Mr. Hamada, do your best.
Do you want to go over there?!
That's what he said.
What did you say?
Do you want to go over there?!
That's what he said.
Do your best, Mr. Hamada.
That's what I said.
What did you say?
Do you want to go to America?!
Do you want to go over there?!
Where do you want to go over there?!
No, this quiz is for you to go where you want to go.
That's why it's usually decided at night.
This time it's America and this time it's Switzerland.
Right?!
If it's Switzerland, do you want to go to Switzerland?!
Do you want to go over there?!
Where do you want to go?!
Do you want to go over there?!
Today, it's that corner over there.
Do you want to go over there?!
Do your best, Mr. Hamada.
Do you want to go over there?!
You can't say you don't want to go yet.
That corner looks nice!
What's wrong with Switzerland?!
How about this corner?!
Let me guess.
This corner?
Of course not!
Now, let's move on to the first question.
Please do your best.
Today's first question is very simple.
The opposite word quiz!
Abababababa!
The opposite word quiz!
If you answer with the opposite word, it will be the same answer.
It's the same, right?
It's the same.
It's easy, right?
Let's practice a little.
For example, what's the opposite of "high"?
"Low".
"Far".
"Near".
This is Hamada-san's problem!
What's with you, Hamada-san?!
You're amazing!
Hamada-san, you got it right away!
Thank you.
Now, the opposite word quiz.
Yes.
The first question.
Let's go!
Ta-da!
"Tani-hayato".
Wait!
What's wrong with you?!
What's with that opposite word?
"High" and "low" we know.
"Near" and "far" we know.
What's "Tani-hayato"?
Why don't you say the opposite of "Tani-hayato"?
Now that you mention it, what's the opposite of "Tani-hayato"?
"Tani-hayato".
"Marin-buru-kui"!
Wait a minute!
What's with that "Marin-buru-kui"?
"Marin-buru-kui".
Hey, listen to me!
What's the opposite of "Tani-hayato"?
"Marin-buru" can wait.
What's the opposite of "Tani-hayato"?
Father, listen to me!
Please listen to me.
Just say it!
What's the opposite of "Tani-hayato"?
"Marin-buru-kui".
I know it!
I've asked it a hundred times!
Just say it!
What is it?
I've asked it a hundred times.
That's right.
What's "Marin-buru" anyway?
It's the opposite of "Marin-buru-kui".
What?!
Wait a minute, Mr. Hamada.
Mr. Hamada, you know...
"For now"?
I've asked it a hundred times.
I know it.
Our staff has asked it a hundred times.
And we've got the most answers.
You've said it before, haven't you?
Yes, we'll do our best.
We'll do our best.
So, today's question is...
In Shibuya,
a hundred people are asking Oakman a lot of questions...
What's wrong with you?!
I can't hear you!
Just say it!
What's wrong with you?!
Mr. Hamada, you have to ask the question properly until the end.
I've asked it a hundred times.
A hundred times?!
But you didn't answer me.
So I took it off and asked you one more time.
You have to ask it properly until the end.
Dad, you have to ask it properly!
Just say it!
I'll do my best.
Just say it!
Do you want to go there?!
Yes, I do.
Just say it!
It looks like Oakman is already there.
It's amazing.
Let's go.
I asked it a hundred times and Oakman took it off.
Okay, okay.
I'll ask you one more question.
You took it off and asked it a hundred times, right?
I asked it a hundred times and Oakman took it off and asked it a hundred times!
Okay.
How have you been...
Are you sewing clothes?
Mister Hamada.
Mister Hamada! What kind of answer is that?
How you have been!
Get your hands off me!
Do you know where you are going?
What do you mean by "recently"?
What do you say when you are told "recently"?
"What?", you say.
Dad, don't forget!
Shut up!
You speak clearly!
Dad, the weather is...
Enough!
What do you mean by "recently"?
Tell me! Tell me the answer!
"Recently", hundreds of people said...
BLUE SKY QUIZ!
What is this blue sky quiz?
It's time for the blue sky quiz.
Good luck.
You have a lot of quizzes.
Thank you.
Mr. Hamada, do you know about "three choices quiz"?
Yes.
You know it, don't you?
There is only one answer out of three.
This blue sky quiz...
Twenty choices!
Good luck.
It's even more difficult!
Think about it. The problem is very simple.
Dad, don't say it!
Don't say it!
Let me say it first!
What is it?
Today's problem is very simple.
If you don't make fun of it, you might get scolded.
The problem is...
What is the name of the current Prime Minister of Japan?
Is it necessary?
It's already in your head, isn't it?
It's already in my head, of course.
No, wait a minute.
The staff came up with twenty questions.
You have to answer them.
As soon as you come up with them...
Ding dong! It's yours, Mr. Amana.
You don't have to rush.
Yes, of course. I know it.
You know it!
I'm sorry.
Perhaps...
It's Kana, isn't it?
Isn't it enough?
Mr. Kana!
Let's do our best.
It's twenty questions.
As soon as you come up with them...
I got it.
Let's do it.
Yamashita...
Kato...
Kubo...
Hagino...
Nishio...
John...
It's definitely wrong.
Takeda...
Kaifu...
Ding dong! It's yours, Mr. Amana!
It's already in your head, isn't it?
Yes.
Come on!
Tell me!
Kaifu...
Mr. Amana, please answer with your number.
I told you!
You got it, didn't you?
You said it first, Kaifu!
I forgot your number!
If you don't remember it...
The Blue Style Quiz won't work.
That's why!
Why don't you answer with your number first?!
Why do you have to say my name so many times?!
Amada-san, you have to say it with your number!
Do you understand?!
Spring Summer Queen!
What is this?!
Spring Summer Queen...
This is today's last queen.
Do your best.
I don't know your name...
Do your best.
I'll do my best!
Today's quiz is very easy.
It's the last quiz, so it's very easy.
Do your best.
This is hard.
Amada-san, be motivated!
Dad, motivate me!
I'll do it, I'll do it.
Do your best.
Today's quiz is very easy.
Here's the quiz!
Ta-dah!
Today, October 10th, what is the weather like in Tokyo?!
You say it.
What is it?
You've been asking me questions, but you haven't given me an answer!
You're supposed to give me an answer!
Today, you give me an answer!
That question...
I know, Amada-san.
Today, I'll give you some time.
You can go outside and look.
That's not the problem!
I'm grateful for that time, but...
The person in front of the TV is making fun of me!
I don't know why I don't know this!
Today, you...
I'm sorry.
I'll do my best.
You don't know?
I know.
The answer is...
rain.
The answer is...
sunny.
The answer is...
cloudy.
Now, let's leave the rest to the editors!
It's my first time in Asakusa since I was born.
How is it?
I don't know. I think I'll get used to Tokyo from now on.
But it's not easy for Tokyo people to accept Osaka people.
Oh, really?
I don't like it.
Why?
You're listening to the story with love.
I'm sorry to say this, but it's usually cold like this.
Are you excited?
I don't like it. I don't like how girls talk.
Why?
It's better than Osaka girls.
Tokyo girls repeat what people say.
I'm tired and my head hurts.
You said it!
I'm tired and my head hurts.
You said it again!
Why?
I'm tired and my head hurts.
My nose is running.
I'm tired and my head hurts.
My nose is running.
You're a good guy.
You know, I think Tokyo is good. The drivers are fun.
Really?
Yes, yes. Everyone is kinder than in Osaka.
They listen to you.
For example, if you say "Please go to Fuji TV" and they ask you "Which way do you want to go?"
They don't listen to you like that in Osaka.
No, but one thing I don't like is...
For example, if you say "Go in the opposite direction" and they say "Go in the opposite direction"
If you were in Osaka, they'd go around you.
They'd go around you and say "That's the opposite direction!"
That's the opposite direction!
If you were in Osaka, it'd be great!
Really?
Yes.
I think the drivers in Tokyo are fun.
Really?
They listen to you.
Even if you say it, they don't know which way to go.
They don't know.
They're kind.
They don't say "Go through something."
Even if you say "Which way do you want to go?"
They say "I'll leave it to you."
Go as fast as you can.
The person who got in last time is really kind.
What kind of accent is that?
Get out of my way!
Is there such a thing?
You're all the same, aren't you?
I'm surprised.
That's crazy.
Really.
In that sense...
Is there anything good about Tokyo?
About Tokyo...
It's still new, so there's nothing good about it.
For example, in Yumenan, they say that the food is different.
I think girls like Tokyo better.
Really?
Yeah.
They have thin legs in Tokyo.
That's...
Don't look down! Don't look down!
In Osaka, you really look like an Asian!
You don't look like an Asian!
With those legs of yours, you'd be about eight meters tall!
Hello.
That's funny.
Have you ever kicked a bullet in your past life?
Idiot!
What's that supposed to mean?
It means that you're like a soccer kid.
A soccer kid?
Something like that.
I heard you caught a cold today.
That's right.
I concentrated all of it in my throat.
I'm tired.
I got a shot.
A real shot.
Are you really catching a cold?
You know...
You're trying to get everyone's attention, aren't you?
You're lying about catching a cold, aren't you?
I'm not a weatherman.
You're trying to get everyone's attention, aren't you?
When I come to Tokyo, I won't make mistakes like Osaka people do.
That's right, that's right.
You're trying to make me look cute.
I fell for that trap.
But Osaka fans still love me.
I won't make that mistake again in Tokyo.
It's been a while since I got a shot.
What?
But I rarely get a shot in a day TV hospital.
The nurse said, "You do it," and the doctor said, "Oh, it's inside the hospital, so it's not so..."
Are you kidding me? With such a shot?
The doctor looked like a diver. "Hey, you do it," he said. "No, I'm not going to do it."
"I'll let you do it," he said.
"With such a shot in the middle of the night," he said, "there's a lot of air left in the air."
And I'm still pushing it, but it's still there.
"It's still there," said the nurse.
"With such a shot in the middle of the night," he said.
"It's weird," said the doctor.
What if I get shot?
Well, I don't have much chance to do manzai in Tokyo, so I'll do as much as I can on this show.
Well...
It's a little late, but...
It's one o'clock and forty minutes, right?
One o'clock and forty minutes.
I'd like you to do your best.
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for today.
Please come back again.
I hope you enjoyed it.
But how many times do you do it?
What?
This manzai, this family episode.
Is it manzai?
Yes.
I'm already a born manzai performer.
I know.
I've heard "how many times do you do it?" many times.
What?
I've heard "how many times do you do it?" many times.
I don't know what a manzai performer is.
Well...
Right now, in stock...
Well...
Eighteen...
You're right!
Here you can see the finished story of "Downtown".
Yes.
Then, on Saturdays at seven or eight...
Yes.
"Downtown" will play "Golden Tides" again.
It costs a lot of money.
This program doesn't cost you any money.
Yes.
Well...
For people who watch TV...
Yes.
It's like classical music.
That's right.
Well...
I won't do it again.
Yes.
Look at me like this or like that.
Yes, yes.
If you do it like this, you'll get in trouble.
Yes, yes.
There are also angry words!
Yes.
It's "I won't do it again."
Yes.
It's released now.
Do you know it?
I know it.
And...
We know your letters, viewers...
Well...
We know the letters of the same comedian...
Hahaha!
Same person!
We know what you think!
That's good information, isn't it?
Well...
It's...
It's valuable, isn't it?
"Downtown" is also a manzai.
Yes.
"Gleiser" is also a manzai.
That's right.
I won't do it again.
Yes.
It's different from "Downtown".
Yes, we did.
Yes.
We enjoyed the drama.
It's about time we say goodbye.
Yes.
Don't forget us.
We were tired of you.
Yes, we were.
Well, we'll see you next week.
See you next week.
Good-bye!
Good night.
This program is brought to you by Toyosui-san...
Ginza Jiwaiyokuchurumaki and...
This program is brought to you by these sponsors.