AISubs v3.5
- Well, it's not today, but... - That's right.
- You said you were good at manzai, didn't you? - Yes, yes.
- You do manzai for 30 minutes. - That's right.
- You usually say "you", right? - What?
- Usually, manzai is 15 minutes, right? - Well, that's right.
- You do it for 30 minutes. - Yes.
- Doesn't it look fun? - Doesn't it look fun?
- It's more exciting to do it, right? - It's exciting.
- I thought about lining up the staff and acting alone after I finished. - Hahaha!
- Well, that's fine, but... - Yes.
- You can do manzai as much as you like. - Oh, is that so?
- For 30 minutes. - That's nice.
- You like it, don't you? - It's nice, isn't it?
- But I don't usually do manzai in front of people in Tokyo. - No, you don't!
- Today, I'd like to do it, including Yosumi. - Well, we don't know what will happen.
- Let's go. - Yes.
- Oh, we're recruiting students. - Let's go.
[Toyosuitan]
You're young and you've been walking for a long time. It's been hard.
It's been hard for me too.
Your body doesn't go as you want it to.
You think you have to do your best, but you can't because of your joints.
Why is that?
It's been a while since you did a manzai.
I'll do it.
It's nostalgic.
Most people in Tokyo don't know about it.
Most of them haven't seen it.
That's right.
Most of you know where it is, right?
That's right.
It's Yoshimoto Industries.
You know Yoshimoto Industries, right?
It's famous all over the world.
Gara, Yasuiwa, Kokitsukau work like businessmen.
That's right.
When you come to a place like this, you can relax.
But when you're in Osaka and sometimes you're on stage, it's hard to do this.
It's hard for Yoshimoto's manager to see.
He's doing manzai for the first time.
When Yoshimoto Industries' head office said "Yakuza" in front of the audience...
Yakuza!
It's close, though.
The president is also here.
Do you know Yoshimoto's president?
He's an old man from Hayashisou.
He's an old man.
He's young and strong.
He's strong, but he's very energetic.
When he says "I love you", you say "You're lying!"
I love you!
"I love you," you say.
That's interesting.
It's hard for me to do that.
When I'm on stage, I don't look to the right.
You don't laugh at all?
I never laugh.
I look down and laugh.
We don't know much about it.
When we do it, we call in other people.
We call in other people.
Who is it?
"Who is it?" "It's Dantan." "You're lying!" "It's none of your business." "Don't you think we're human beings?" "No, we don't." "You're always right." "The other day, I was in A-Light for the first time in a while. Thank you for your help." "You still don't know what you're saying." "What do you mean?" "You have a bad tongue." "Tongue?" "Sometimes I don't know what you're saying."
"I don't know what you're saying, but I can't see what you're saying." "You're sick." "Yes, I'm sick." "I've been saying it all along, but it hits me here and comes back." "Yes, I thought you were going to hit me, but you hit me." "Yes." "It suddenly pops up in front of you." "Yes, I explained it to you." "Yes." "So this thing is beautiful." "You're lying!" "If you say it like that, I feel like I'm going to throw up." "That's what I thought, but I don't know if it's going to come up." "It's an important body that my parents gave me." "Of course."
"So I talked to my parents." "So this is a restricted area?" "Yes." "I'm worried about Mikau, too. If you don't mind..." "Is it expensive?" "I'm going to go for a while and write a question mark." "Where are you going?"
"I took the money off of the school fee." "Yes, I paid them back."
If you think about it, Yoshimoto is not profitable.
That's right.
"I wondered if I was on the wrong path." "Yes, indeed."
"Everything was pre-determined in life." "There were a lot of baseball players and sports players."
And there were pilots, doctors, and a lot of other things.
For me, a teacher...
Even when I watch on the TV...
I work hard with my students.
"But in terms of nutrients and damages..." "A teacher?"
There are teachers like that, but there are also teachers we don't like.
A teacher who is bad-tempered.
Sometimes.
Yes, yes, yes. Our favorite teacher, Mr. Taiki.
He said this.
Why?
He doesn't admit his mistakes.
He tries to fix them.
He doesn't try to fix them.
Yes, yes, yes.
After Mr. Taiki's time, let's gather everyone.
Everyone, let's do a handstand test today.
First, the teacher will look at you.
Everyone, do as the teacher does.
Look at me and look at me quietly.
I'll jump on your handstand.
I'll turn around and touch you.
You'll slip and hit the ground and your face will break.
Hey, can you move your brain a little?
Mr. Taiki, are you okay?
Yes.
Mr. Taiki will hit you and say things like this.
Everyone, close your eyes and listen to Mr. Taiki.
Stop it!
I can't see anything weird.
That's enough!
Don't say it like that.
Yes, you're right.
I'm not that strong of a teacher.
I remember when I was a doctor.
Yes.
Well, a doctor is fine, but you know, there's also the opposite side of it.
A doctor is fine, but you know, for example, your own child gets sick and you have to go see the doctor, right?
Yes.
At that time, it's painful for the parent.
Mr. Taiki, how is my son?
Is my son Masaab okay, Mr. Taiki?
Father.
Yes.
Father of Masaab.
By the way, you look a little like him.
Yes.
I think you look more like your mother.
Yes, you're right.
Oh, that kind of hand movement.
Shut up!
Father, Masaab's son.
Father.
The other day, you came and we took a picture together.
Yes, we did.
I still have that burnt one.
I have about eight of them, and I put them up in the hallway and sell them. If you want them, I'll tell you.
I'll show you one of them later. This is it.
This is a flashlight I saw from the weather satellite and from the sun.
Is it this big?
No, no, it's very big. I don't think it's easy to understand if I don't explain it.
Teacher, are you an amateur?
Yes, yes, yes.
It's easy...
Yes, of course. It's easy to understand.
There's a problem with the lung part. The lung part is like this...
And the intestine is like this...
And the stomach is like this...
It's harder than I thought, so I'm telling you to say it like this.
Thank you very much.
Do you understand?!
I can say it like this, too!
Yes.
I'm not saying it like this!
Yes.
Yes!
I'm serious!
Yes, yes.
If you do this...
Teacher, there's something terribly terrible.
Huh?
Masao-kun...
Yes?
Actually...
Huh?
It's cancer.
Huh?!
You'll laugh, won't you?
Teacher...
I'm serious, please.
Yes.
I was surprised you said it like that.
Masao-kun, it's cancer.
Yes.
There are many kinds of cancer.
Yes.
But Masao-kun's cancer is very bad.
If you say it medically, it's "ghost-like cancer".
It can't even save your life for six months!
If you die too soon, you'll die at 2 p.m. next Saturday.
Teacher...
Yes?
Can you do something about it?
Well...
Please do something about it!
I don't want to.
"I don't want to" is wrong, but "I don't want to" is wrong for me!
Please do something about it!
No, but I can't do anything about it.
What my father can do is never let him know that you're sick!
That's the only way!
That's the only way.
That's my only way.
Masa!
Can you go over there for a second?
No, it's important for you.
Please do something about it!
Masa, you can't listen to him!
Go ahead!
Go ahead, even though you're sick!
You're going to die!
Don't think too much about it!
It's disgusting to look at!
Masa won't know about it...
Shut up!
You're the one who said it!
Masa won't know about it
Hey!
Quizes are funny, aren't they?
Explain it!
You said "Masa won't know about it" so I told you to go over there, but you said "quizes are funny", didn't you?
No, no, the quizzes we saw on TV recently are funny.
They're funny!
What?
Are you testing me?
No, quiz shows. There are a lot of them, aren't there?
There are a lot of them, but...
Of course, you can't just go on a quiz show and get 10 questions right and win a prize of 100,000 yen!
Right, right.
You can't just go on a trip to Hawaii and win a prize of 100,000 yen!
Right, right.
It's better to go on a quiz show than work. There are a lot of things like that.
But you can't always get it right.
Oh, really?
It's difficult.
How about we do a quiz today?
Really?
I'll give you a question and you'll answer it.
No.
What?
If you get the quiz right and win a prize of 100,000 yen, you can go on a trip to Hawaii and win a prize of 100,000 yen.
Right?
You can't say you'll win a prize of 100,000 yen or you can't say you'll go on a trip to Hawaii, but if you don't know what it is, you can't say it.
Think about how you'll answer it.
If you answer it right, I'll tell you it's a joke from now on.
I don't need it!
I don't need it.
It's enough for me to say it!
If you change it now and say what you said earlier, you'll waste your time.
Is that a problem?
It's not a problem!
I won't tell you it's a prize of 100,000 yen or I won't tell you it's a trip to Hawaii!
Oh, the Philippines!
If you answer it right, you can go to the Philippines.
I can't go there.
Can you become a Filipino in the morning?
I don't want to!
I'll give you a place to live.
What are you talking about?
Why can't I become a Filipino?
No, it's funny.
I don't want to!
No, it's not like that.
I don't want it.
But it's fine.
It's funny to say you're a Filipino.
It's funny for you only!
I don't want it.
I don't want you to say you're a Filipino.
You definitely won't say it.
I see.
Think about it.
I'll think about it.
Yes, yes.
Do your best.
Yes, please.
Now, the first question.
Taro went to the florist to buy flowers.
Now, what is it?
Gachi...
Taro went to the florist to buy flowers.
Now, what is it?
Kini...
Gachi...
It's time for the stomping quiz.
What's with the stomping quiz?
Explain it to me for now!
What is it? What is it? What is it?
Answer me!
I'm talking about the shop.
The stomping quiz!
Stomping quiz.
I know!
Please listen and answer me.
I'll tell you.
It's the second question.
Hanako-san went to the bathhouse.
Well, how is it?
Stop it!
What is it? How is it?
Hanako-san went to the shop.
Well, how is it?
I'm talking about the shop.
What is it?
It's a triangle!
It's a triangle.
Answer me!
If you don't know what a triangle is, answer me!
The question is hard to understand.
It's not such a problem!
I'd like to solve it by talking.
What is it? How is it?
If you don't know what it is, answer me!
I know. I know.
Let's make the question easy to understand.
Of course! Let's correct it!
Let's correct it from the beginning!
Yes, I know.
It's easy to understand, right?
Yes.
It's the first time for me.
Yes, I know.
I'm sorry.
Please do it.
Taro-kun went to the bathhouse.
Yes.
Because...
Yes.
Taro-kun went to the bathhouse.
Yes.
Well...
I go there twice a day in summer.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
What do you think of it?
Shut up!
It doesn't matter. I'll give you an easy question.
You'll get it right.
How many times do I have to tell you?
Exotic quiz!
What are you doing?
Exotic quiz!
It's not exotic.
What if it is?
Exotic quiz!
It's not exotic.
Which quiz is it?
Ping-pong! Ping-pong! Ping-pong!
What are you doing?
The buzzer rang.
I don't know.
It's a bonus quiz.
If I were you, I'd die.
Hamada-san, you'll get it twice.
Hang in there.
What?
You'll get it twice.
What will I get twice?
Usually, you'll get it twice if you don't have it.
But you haven't answered a single question yet.
Of course you'll get it twice!
I'll get it twice.
You'll get it twice!
Huh?
I saw it, so you'll definitely get it right.
Hang in there.
Even if I get it twice, I won't look down on you.
You'll get it twice!
Hang in there.
Hamada-san, you're too loud.
Wait a minute.
You talk too much.
Who told you to be here?!
If you ask me what it is and how it is...
Hamada-san, you can choose a question!
Entertainment, history, society...
You can choose one of these.
Of course you'll get it twice.
Of course.
I'll get it twice!
If you let me get it twice, I won't get it twice!
I'm sorry.
What's your name?
Entertainment, history, society...
Chiri.
Chiri!
Chiri, right?
Yes.
Chiri, right?
What?
What do you think?
Hey, pick one!
Chiri, right?
I like history.
I said I like it! Who are you to pick?
What?
Huh?
What should we do?
Entertainment.
Entertainment, right?
I like Chiri, don't you think?
I said I like it! Who are you to pick?
Well, anything is fine.
History.
You like history, don't you?
Huh?
You like history, don't you?
Don't you understand what I'm saying?
You said you like history twice, but you like it four times more.
What?
What do you mean by four?
Don't make me laugh.
You like it four times more?
I like it four times more.
I'll definitely get it right.
You like history, don't you?
Good luck.
Yes.
What is Itagaki Taishi family?
Itagaki Taishi family.
Wait.
Listen.
Hey.
Tell me, Toriago.
Huh?
I won't give you a quiz, so tell me the answer, Ichimon.
You've only given me questions, so tell me the answer, Daikomio.
What is Itagaki Taishi?
Tell me the answer.
Huh?
What is Itagaki Taishi?
What is it?
Last chance!
No!
It's a last chance quiz.
Give me a chance!
It's not a last chance.
Shut up!
What is it if it's a last chance?
I'll give you two chances.
Good luck.
Tell me the answer.
What is Itagaki Taishi?
Good luck with the last chance quiz.
What is Itagaki Taishi?
It's a difficult question.
What kind of question is that?
If it's a difficult question, you can use 46 yen.
What do you mean?
It's a last chance.
Now you can become a Filipino.
No!
Don't say "don't get used to it" clearly.
Don't get used to it!
It's good you got used to it.
Don't get used to it!
Look at me and say "don't get used to it"!
It's good you got used to it.
Now, it's the last chance.
Bet on me, Mr. Yokomeda!
It doesn't matter. I want you to win.
It's a last chance quiz.
Make it easy.
I'll make it easy.
Listen carefully.
Okay.
Were there 60 apples in the basket?
Winner is...
Oh, it's coming!
Ding-dong!
You're right, Mr. Yamada!
You're Filipino!
The quiz will continue from tomorrow until next week.
Good bye!
Where are you from, everyone?
For the first time, I heard you're male.
But it's good news.
We don't usually do it in front of men.
In that sense, I don't know how you perceive it.
I thought only young people would do it, but it's not bad.
No, you! You! You!
Look sideways! You'll hit your head!
But you know what everyone says?
Customers have high standards.
That's right.
Really.
Everyone has high standards.
There are seven ugly people.
Where are you from?!
What?!
But I didn't like the man in red.
Why?
He looked like he was standing in a car.
You say funny things.
I'm half-truthful.
I didn't like it.
But it's easy for young people to do it.
Yes, yes.
But when you're talking, you're listening seriously.
That's weird.
You're laughing, but you're not serious until you're laughing.
That's bad!
That's a remnant of laughter.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for making you laugh.
Seriously, you guys are too fast!
Too fast!
You guys are too fast!
What's with you guys?
It was amazing.
We were excited.
When we were in Osaka, we were laughing like this.
And we were laughing and repeating the same joke.
We were laughing and repeating the same joke.
And we were laughing and repeating the same joke.
Rinkan is really...
A scholar.
I want to be a comedian!
A researcher.
When we went to watch a public show like this,
we should definitely watch it at home on a TV.
That's right!
But it's completely different.
When we were skating, we were laughing.
I thought it was crazy!
Do you know Keishu?
Keishu.
I'm scared of him, but...
Keishu used to do a synchronized joke once.
At Kao Meijin Gekijo.
He raised his head and...
There was a mirror-like set in the back.
He was doing the synchronized joke there.
Keishu was playing the drums and the joke was slipping.
It didn't end.
When we watched Kao Meijin Gekijo's "On Air",
it ended with "togan, togan!"
And everyone's faces in the mirror in the back were like this.
togan, togan!
Even though their faces were like this,
their laughter was so loud.
I wonder if that phenomenon exists.
That's right, that's right.
Even if you say that,
I don't know if you can see their faces like this.
When you go home and watch it again,
be careful.
If you miss something,
come back later and say, "That wasn't good."
If you teach me, I'll hit you back.
That's right.
Thank you very much for today!
Ah... I'm tired.
I'm tired, too.
I'm tired, too. I'm tired, too. I'm tired, too.
I'm tired, too.
So, I'm tired, too.
Please make it twice.
I'm tired, too.
I got it!
It's weird. When I try it, I talk faster than I thought.
Well... feelings, right?
Yes.
How about you?
Yes.
Were you nervous?
I guess so.
Yes.
So, let's stop doing this.
No, I won't do it.
What?
We don't have enough time, so we won't do it next week, either.
Well... but...
But what?
Well... well...
No! We don't have enough time, do we?
Yes.
So, next week, we'll do it with more time.
Yes, yes.
What?
We won't do it.
Yes, yes.
30 minutes or 40 minutes...
How about you change things up?
Today, there were many people from O.L., right?
Yes.
Next week, we'll do it with Indians.
Yes.
Well...
Can we call it a scene?
Yes. We have our own curry story.
No, we can't.
We can't do that.
Curry story?
We can think of anything.
Change songs?
Yes, we can change songs.
But I think it's best today.
Yes, yes.
Next week, we'll do it with more time.
Yes.
30 minutes.
Next week, 40 minutes?
Yes.
Let's do it!
Yes.
I don't look like it, but...
I think the staff will say, "What are you doing?"
Yes, yes.
"Yes, yes" is what you'll say, right?
Yes, yes.
That's right.
So...
It's been a while since I've done a manzai with fighting.
Let's do it next week. Do it this week.
Do it from the beginning.
But it's 2 o'clock and 10 minutes.
What? There's something wrong with the time?
What you're looking at is blurred.
It's blue.
Yes, yes. At midnight...
Everyone is angry and angry.
But even if you look at it side by side, there's no other song that's funny.
There's no other song like this.
It's just similar.
What are you talking about? It's a channel.
It's funny at 2 o'clock and 10 minutes.
That's funny.
What's wrong with you?
Anyway, we weren't satisfied with the first episode.
That's right.
Next week...
In about 30 minutes...
Make sure you have enough time.
Can you do it?
What? You're asking me?
Who are you looking at?
Let's do it.
Next week...
We'll do a lot of downtown manzai.
Until next week...
Make sure you have a lot of fun.
That's all for tonight.
Goodbye.