AISubs v3.5
The superhumans who have mastered the art of fighting.
Come out!
My butt hurts!
Put your fist in it!
The strongest superman will be decided tonight!
World's No. 1 Martial Arts Competition!
A girl is in desperate need of a sudden and severe punishment.
First Lady Kojima Harunao is streaming a book full of rare facial expressions that you can't see on TV!
Men who have transcended human abilities.
Tonight, we'll find out who the true No. 1 transcendent is!
World's No. 1 Martial Arts Competition!
Men in men's clothing, come out!
Aiyoshi-san, Kojima-san, welcome to the world's number one martial arts society.
Osu!
Then let's start with the VTR!
You know about that?
The world's number one martial arts society will now begin!
The first superman is Miss Tomohiro!
This man has the strongest back in all of us!
He can easily lift a 5kg iron array and even a wooden stick!
The superman who is best at this is the superman who peels a banana with his butt!
What kind of technique is it?
He puts a banana in his butt!
And...
Oh, you're adding a song!
Oh, you've already won!
Oh, it's really pretty!
It's amazing!
It's pretty?
It's pretty!
I'm sorry, it's pretty?
It's not my butt!
It's amazing!
In addition, you can use your buttocks to open a bottle cap.
He uses his eyes to insert a cap. He is a superman.
Next is a superman who does a tablecloth pull in Chile.
The softness of the body given from heaven turned a man into a superman.
Take a look at the moment when the buttocks that everyone in humanity dreamed of turn into a table.
It's a one-point research lab.
Can you pull a tablecloth with your buttocks?
However, isn't it difficult to convey the greatness of a bottle cap?
Therefore, the superman will do a buttock tablecloth pull with this hot oden.
Will the superman's first attempt be a success?
I'm sorry.
It's hot!
Choujin failed.
Was it really a reckless challenge?
However...
Don't make such a face.
In order to win, without looking back at danger,
they will do another challenge!
It's like a cloth.
He overcame his fear of hot oden and pulled out his cross.
The next superman is a man who walks on his back.
About 100 million years after human beings were born, have there ever been humans who have walked on earth on their backs?
This is the evolution of human beings! Superman walking on his back!
The first human being to walk on his back with only his hands and feet shaking!
How difficult is this technique?
As you can see, researchers who are ancient humans cannot advance a step forward.
And the superman's technique doesn't stop with just walking on his back!
Even if you just put your fist in your mouth, it's strong.
However, the superman swallows juice with a straw!
The fourth human being is a magnet superman with a pipe attached to his forehead!
It's a gift from God.
A superman given by God! How does he attach a pipe to his forehead?
What's in it?
What's going on?
The bottom of the can and the forehead create a vacuum state and stick the can together.
In addition, they play the recorder with their noses while pouring beer into their foreheads.
This is an art that cannot be done with ordinary concentration.
He's an old comedian.
What?
Comedian!
What?
I know him!
I don't want to lose to him.
Oh, Ichikawa.
I'm risking my life to make a movie.
A superman who appeared like a comet in the Republic of Japan.
A tiger with a fart that causes a storm in Petunia.
Masamune Ichikawa Munehiro.
I'm so moved.
And a new comedian who challenged the tiger.
A dragon with a fart.
Fujimoto!
He can fly peanuts with his hands and eat them.
Trans...
The fearsome new hero of the fart world will appear.
It is a difficult farting technique that only Ichikawa can succeed in.
Tonight, such a fart world's dragon and tiger will meet.
I wonder if I should get the name "beard specialist".
Go ahead and fart.
I'm not good at it anyway.
With pride on their shoulders, they will fight for their best friends.
The first round is a big fart competition.
The rules are simple. The one with the biggest fart wins.
Will Fujimoto be able to surpass Ichikawa, whom he admired so much?
Here we go!
Fujimoto's record is 92.2 decibels.
With only the name "dragon" and "long" he set a high record.
On the other hand, will the fart world's tiger, whose name is "beard specialist", be able to fart with such a big fart?
Go ahead and fart.
You're good at it!
Ichikawa's record is 94.7 decibels.
Fujimoto's record is 94.7 decibels.
You're good at it!
Ichikawa won the first round.
The second round is a hand-counting competition where endurance is the key.
The one with the biggest fart wins.
I don't like the sound of inhaling air.
This is not the sound of rubbing hands.
This is the sound of inhaling air from the anus.
Inhaling complete!
Which one farts the most?
Ready, start!
Oh, it's leaking.
That's awesome!
Ichikawa can't blow the whistle well.
On the other hand, Fujimoto, who trains his abs from day to day, is increasing his record.
And...
Five seconds before...
Four, three, two, one...
Time's up!
Oh, come on!
That's awesome!
The current competition is...
Ichikawa-san, one time.
Fujimoto-san, sixteen times.
The winner is Fujimoto-san!
In the second round, Fujimoto won by a sudden rush!
Now, both teams have one win and one loss.
The third round will be decided in the studio!
Farting dragon and tiger, come out!
Fujimoto and Ichikawa!
Wow, they're fighting hard.
The champion has finally been born!
The final round, wind force battle!
Are you ready?
I'm ready!
Alright, Fujimoto will go first.
Yes!
Alright, Fujimoto-san.
Yes!
Please go ahead!
Three...
Two...
One...
Here I go!
Wow!
It's 80 centimeters!
80 centimeters!
Wow!
That's amazing!
Wow!
Has it been decided yet? That's not good!
Alright, next up is Ichika.
Yes!
Are you confident?
I am!
You're fast!
The two giants who control the O-nara.
It's finally time for the final round!
Here I go!
Please go ahead!
Three...
Two...
One...
2 meters!
Wow!
What was that?
I couldn't hear anything.
I squeezed my pressure.
I turned off the sound.
I squeezed my pressure.
Wow!
Ichikawa's record is 2 meters.
Ichikawa's victory!
Wow!
I saw all the superman moves.
Ariyoshi and Kojima,
please decide the champion.
Okay!
Which one should I choose?
Can I decide?
The champion is...
butt and banana
Gary Burton!
I knew it!
That's it for "World's No. 1 Martial Arts Festival"!
Kojima and Sashihara have been fighting even though they have many injuries.
However...
Sashihara has only one win against Kojima.
It's time for Kojima to make a decision.
- Sashihara... - Yes?
Let's...
end...
this segment.
You said it many times.
Let's end it.
The staff is also greedy.
What? What? What are you doing?
It's a lie! You can't say such a thing!
However, the difference in ability is history!
The difference in ability is history! You can't say such a thing!
What are you doing?
So, what can you do to win?
What can you do to win?
You can't say such a thing!
I found a new special ability!
This time, I'm going to win for real!
The special ability that Sashihara found by chance is...
You can't say such a thing!
The competition between Kojima and Sashihara is...
Lip-bubble battle!
The winner will be determined by the duration of the bubble!
The stage is a huge freezer at -23 degrees Celsius.
They shake it in the cold and aim for a high record!
It's a huge freezer.
At this rate, peace will not come to the world.
I can't avoid evil forever!
I don't care about my life.
However, I will definitely exterminate only evil!
[Taking a deep breath]
It's long.
The current record is 9.89 seconds.
Just in time.
The winner is the one who made her lips swing for longer.
You're amazing.
First up is...
Kitahara Ryu's "Lips Swing".
The winner is the one who made her lips swing for longer.
Let's go. Are you ready?
Yes!
Let's go.
Kitahara-san, you have nice lips.
You look like you'd be good at it.
Ready...
Go!
5.76 seconds!
That's not enough for Sashihara.
Sashihara's record is 9.89 seconds.
Now, Kojima-san!
Sashihara, please stand up.
Do your best for me.
I'm nervous today.
Kojima-san is famous for his lips.
Oh, Sashihara doesn't like the shape of his lips.
Now, let's go, Kojima-san.
Thank you!
We have big news for all of you in the AKB Republic of Arioshi!
First Lady Kojima Haruna-chan will be participating in a mobile game!
The game is called "Zubari! Achi Muite Hoi Janken!"
It's all about pointing and facing.
Don't be fooled by her cute expressions!
In commemoration of this, the game tournament is being held for a limited time.
The winner of the top prize will receive Kojima Haruna's original content!
Arioshi AKB Republic's Ameiba-pig!
China-style one-piece designed by Kitakara Rie is now on sale!
Kojima vs. Sashihara!
Lip-bubbling battle!
Now, let's go, Kojima-san!
Thank you!
13 seconds 13!
That was a strategy to let out air little by little.
I can't breathe.
Wonderful!
Kojima-san wins!
That's all for Sasha and Conrad's corner!
That's my one and only answer.
I want to protect you forever.
Just being close to you
makes my heart ache, I wonder what it is
I can't put it into words
This kind of passionate feeling is a first for me
But you don't know
(Forever)
The wind is just blowing
If there is love for someone's sake
Until that day comes, it's fine like this
Your heart
It's fine like this