AISubs v3.5
Tonight's batch action is...
It's like you're being sucked in like this, isn't it?
Batch Batch! Stupid News!
I'm swimming.
Swimming.
From a place where the members can't be found, a broadcast report!
Eating!
A round of applause for Team A!
Applause!
48th inning! Play ball!
This program is brought to you by the sponsors you see here.
Batch Batch! Stupid News!
Batch Love!
This is what's on the 48th floor.
Good evening, everyone.
Batch Batch! Stupid News!
I'm the caster, Yoshikawa Nanase.
And my commentator is the comedian, "Drunk Dragon," Suzuki Taku.
You know a lot of people, don't you?
Yes.
Stupid News!
Here are tonight's topics.
We're approaching the entrance of a black hole.
We're getting close to an 8,888% passenger train.
It's been 312 years since Mt. Fuji erupted.
We're about 80,000 meters below the surface of the earth.
Unidentified life forms have arrived on earth.
We're approaching the entrance of a black hole.
We're getting close to an 8,888% passenger train.
It's been 312 years since Mt. Fuji erupted.
We're getting close to an 8,888% passenger train.
It's very stupid, isn't it?
First of all, here's the first news.
What is it?
We're getting close to the entrance of a black hole.
The other day, the human market...
What happened?
For the first time in human history...
We succeeded in filming in a black hole.
It's stupid news, but...
What's...
What's fun about it?
This time, we'll deliver it from the entrance of a black hole...
...through live broadcast.
It's hard for me to read kanji.
Yes.
A reporter named Okabe is on site.
Let's start the broadcast.
Okabe...
Sorry about that.
Okabe...
I'm Okabe on site.
I'm getting close to the entrance of a black hole.
You're alive and well. Are you okay?
I'm somehow alive and well.
I see.
Yes.
How is it?
I don't know where the camera is.
It's pitch black and I can't see anything.
It's pitch black, isn't it?
Yes.
It's miraculous that I can't see anything.
Yes.
It's a pretty dangerous situation.
What's around you? Is there anything?
Well...
People...
People over there...
People...
People are looking up.
Yes.
People are looking up. What are they?
People are being sucked in.
People are being sucked in and you're laughing and talking.
Yes.
I want to go home. It's dangerous.
You're fast.
Thank you, reporter Okabe.
How was it, Suzuki-san?
Yes.
Okabe-san's humanity came out.
You're laughing even though there are people floating.
Yes, that's right.
We're really sorry about that.
We're sorry about that.
Next news.
The passenger rate is 8,888%. It's close to popular trains.
Even with the summer holiday Shinkansen's passenger rate of about 150%,
it's said that there are full-time trains with a passenger rate of 8,888%.
I think it's already out of the train.
That's right. What does it mean?
It's said that reporter Takahashi miraculously boarded the super full-time train.
Yes, reporter Takahashi.
Reporter Takahashi at the scene.
Yes, I'm Takahashi at the scene.
Well, I'm in a crowd of people, people, people, people, people.
Well, it's a really amazing train.
You're actually in it, aren't you?
That's right. I miraculously boarded it.
Actually, everyone is stuck on the top, side, or bottom.
They're stuck.
I'm running, but for some reason I miraculously got in.
To explain the situation, it feels like about five people are riding on top of the person sitting in the chair.
It looks very cramped.
I see. So what does the person next to you look like?
Well...
- The person next to you. - Yes.
Huh? The radio... Is the radio broken?
- The studio is a little far away. - The person next to you...
It's quite summer...
So you're wearing a tank top.
No, I mean...
What kind of clothes...
Not clothes...
What kind of shape are you wearing?
- That's what I mean. - Oh, I'm very sorry.
You're sitting on a chair...
And you're sitting on top of a chair...
- Like a chair... - Like an air...
Like an air staircase...
Are you overlapping people?
- That's all for now! - No, I'm listening!
Reporter Takahashi, thank you very much.
Ms. Suzuki, how was it?
Well...
You said the radio was far away...
You didn't think of anything...
- You looked like you were running away... - That's right...
- Nothing was transmitted... - Yes...
Next news...
Mt. Fuji, 312 years...
A huge eruption of amber...
Amber... Amber...
- Is amber that kind of fish? - No, no...
- Yes... - Yes...
Mt. Fuji, which is registered as a world heritage site...
Since 1707...
For the first time in 312 years...
A huge eruption has occurred!
If that happens...
I think it's over for you...
Are you okay with that?
Yes... I think so too...
It's still erupting...
To that fire...
- To that fire... - To that fire...
Is there anyone there?
- Is there anyone there? - Excuse me...
Is there anyone there?
- Excuse me... - Yes, fire...
- Fire... - Fire...
Mt. Fuji's "knees"...
- Yes, "knees"... - "Knees"...
Please don't laugh...
- It's a serious issue... - "Knees"...
A reporter from Yamanashi Prefecture...
Ms. "knees"...
Ms. "knees"... Is she okay?
Let's call...
Ms. "knees"...
Okay, this is Hidaritomo at the scene.
Yes, that's right.
It's been 312 years since Mt. Fuji erupted, so I...
Oh, fu... fu...
- Eruption. - Eruption.
- It's not eruption. - It's eruption.
- It's not Mt. Fuji that erupted. - Yes, well, that doesn't matter.
- That's important, it's eruption. - Yes, well...
- Right now... eruption... - It's eruption.
- That's important, it's eruption. - A lava is falling...
- Yes. - I'm dodging it, you see.
- Oh, you're falling, aren't you? - Oh, you're falling, aren't you?
- Are you okay? - It's amazing!
- Yes. - But even if it hits me, it doesn't hurt!
- It doesn't hurt? - It doesn't hurt?
- So, um... - Yes?
- I have a request... - Yes?
- Um... I'd like you to go into the crater, is that okay?
- Please go into the crater for a bit. - The crater part, right?
- Um... I'll go in for a bit, okay? - Yes.
- Are you okay? - Are you okay?
- It's hot! - I'm sure you are!
- That's all from the scene!
Yes!
What is it?
Thank you for reporting with your left hand.
- Ms. Suzuki, how was it? - That's right!
- I've never seen a person with a feeling of a lava hot spring! - That's right!
- You're a strange person. - Yes.
The next news is...
- At the deep sea 80,000 meters below earth's surface... - Yes.
- The most misunderstood thing ever... - Yes...
- The Mariana... High... - Yes.
- The Mariana... - Yes, the Mariana...
- Mariana... - Mariana...
- Yes!
- It's not some high school... - Yes!
- Yes, it's not some high school... - Yes, it's not some high school...
The AHO news...
- ... has reached the deep sea... - Have reached far away.
- The deeeep sea 80,000 meters below earth's surface... - Excited!
- Have reached far away. - Excited!
- It's long gone... - Right?
Yes!
The medical...!
- No gave up! - No gave up!
- Yes, this is Oda at the scene. Yes, I'm unhappy. - Are you swimming now? - Yes, I'm swimming. Swim, swim.
- Can you see any creatures around you? - Oh, I can see it. - What kind of creatures are there? - Well, white-legged whale and... - Are white-legged whales in such a deep place?
- White-legged whale. - White-legged whale! - Yes, white-legged whale and so on. - Well, can I have an interview with you, white-legged whale? - Yes, you can. - After that, I'd like to have an interview with you, white-legged whale. - Oh, yes!
- Hello, are you white-legged whale? - Yes! - Hello!
- That's all. - What did you say?
- I'm curious. - What did you say, white-legged whale?
- White-legged whale said, "I'm fine, so don't worry about me." - No one is worried about you.
- Yes, I'm fine. - I see. - That's all.
- Yes, that's all. - I know.
- I know this reaction. - Thank you, reporter Oda.
- Mr. Suzuki, how was it? - I know.
- You said "white-legged whale," but what is "whale"?
- What is "white-legged whale"? - I know.
- It's a new species of fish. - I know.
- Next news. - It's not a whale, is it?
- Unidentified life forms have arrived on Earth. - Arrived?
- "Aho-news" succeeded in crossing this unknown area. - It's a mess!
- Reporter Oguri is at the scene. - Yes, reporter Oguri.
- Oguri reporter is at the scene. - Yes, Oguri.
- Everyone is a mess. - Yes.
- I'm Oguri Yui. - Yes.
- Gently... - Don't wave your hands.
- Gently... - Gently...
- Unidentified life forms have arrived on Earth. - It's not "gently."
- Right. - Well, on Earth...
Well, a friend of mine is coming.
I see.
What does he look like?
Well, actually...
He's an unidentified creature and a friend of mine.
- An unidentified creature? - Yes.
I see.
Well then, please get along with him.
E.T.
- I said "E.T." - Then that's...
E.T., right?
- Thank you for coming. - Steven Spielberg's movie...
- That's E.T., right? - Yes, that's right.
- He's E.T. - Ah...
- Then you've been confirmed quite a bit. - That's right.
- He's an unidentified creature, right? - Yes.
- He's super famous. - He's famous, right?
- Yes. - Yes.
What are you saying to get along with Mr. Oguri?
- What are you saying? - Well...
- Since an unidentified creature has arrived on Earth... - Yes.
He told me to tell him that I'm still here.
So you told him you were about to leave?
That's right.
When did you arrive?
Yesterday?
So it's a one-night-two-day trip?
It seems like it.
So where are you staying tonight?
Today, I'm staying at my house.
You're staying at my house?
Yes, it's the first time I'm staying at someone's house.
So it's the first time you're staying at someone's house?
That's right.
That's big news.
That's all for now!
I'm sure it is!
Thank you, reporter Oguri!
How was it, Suzuki-san?
It was a complete shocker!
Here's the next news.
Suzuki-taku suspect, 43 years old, arrested.
Suzuki-taku suspect, 43 years old, who caused a stir in public,
has been arrested.
I'm sure it's the same name.
We don't know what happened to him,
but in front of the police station in Chiba...
In front of the police station...
You'll end up alone.
In front of the police station, we have a "shimizu" reporter!
Here's "shimizu" reporter!
Yes, this is "shimizu"!
Well, Suzuki-taku suspect was temporarily arrested, so I came near the police station, but...
I don't care about that case, so I came to Chiba TV!
Ta-dah!
I wanted to hear about Suzuki-taku suspect from you!
Please don't ignore me!
I don't care about that case, so I came to Chiba TV!
Here's my teammate!
Well...
This is your broadcast, isn't it?
What is it? Wait a minute!
What are you doing here today?
Well, I'm here for a program recording, but...
Unfortunately, Suzuki-taku, who is in charge of it, is...
Was it "kohara"?
It's a shame.
I was scared.
You were scared, weren't you?
You can interview the victim directly, so it's an independent interview, right?
Well, I'd like to ask you something.
Huh?
She's been crying all the time.
What did you do?
She's laughing!
I don't want to remember it.
She's laughing!
Suzuki-taku, you haven't done anything yet, have you?
No, I don't want to remember it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry for asking you.
She's laughing!
She's crying.
She's laughing!
She has a very unpleasant look on her face.
Is it a bad word?
I don't want to see that guy for the rest of my life.
I don't want to see his ugly face.
That's terrible!
She said she doesn't want to see his ugly face.
I can only seriously hear you, Oda-san!
Huh?
It's not "yes"!
Huh?
I don't know what you did, and you don't look like someone who would do such a thing!
Oh, is that so? But you know, I guess you're that kind of role where you get arrested and then you go back to work.
You were that kind of role where you get arrested and then you go back to work.
I'm not surprised or anything like that...
I'm starting to feel hungry and want to run away!
That's all from the scene!
Thank you so much, reporter Shimizu!
Suzuki-san, what did you think of all of the news?
Well... I'm in a really bad mood.
Why is that?
Well, you'll know why I'm in a bad mood at the end of the show, won't you?
That's scary!
After the commercial...
Don't make it too long!
...we'll hear from the viewers of tonight's special show!
That's enough! Hurry up and read it!
Come and get it!
This is the back of the 48th floor.
"Aho-news"! In tonight's special, we will discuss the opinions and impressions of viewers of "bacchi koi" broadcasted on Chiba TV,
and we will also have a thorough discussion with those of you who are aware of it.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Suzuki-san, what is the point of this special?
That's right. Yoshikawa doesn't read that character at all and continues it, doesn't he?
That's right.
You don't break your heart at all, do you?
Well, we will introduce the opinions that were brought to this program in real life,
so we will have a thorough discussion with you and help you improve the program.
Let's go!
Yes, we will.
Then, here is the first opinion.
This one!
A man living in Saitama...
Ja
A man living in Saitama who is 43 years old.
Yes.
"Ja" is a different program, so I'm not bored.
Suzuki-taku-san brings out the good points of the members and it's very interesting!
Oh, this is...
I'm grateful for it.
Thank you very much.
Suzuki-taku-san brings out the good points of the members...
What do you think, Oda-san?
But Suzuki-taku-san is an MC, isn't he?
I think it's natural for him to bring out the good points of the members as a job.
I know, but I think you should have gratitude for everything.
Yes, but it's natural.
Yes, it's natural, but you should have gratitude for everything.
Okay?
Yes.
Here is the next opinion.
Chiba Prefecture, 44 years old male, your opinion.
I feel accustomed from members, whether good or bad, so why don't you switch with Kansai Hakusho members for once?
Good idea.
This is good.
Miki-san, Miki-san, Miki-san.
Oh, I'm going to change?
This is wrong, isn't it? I'm Kansai members...
No, then everyone will change like this.
Is it only me? Is it only me?
Yes.
Eh, isn't this a program to blame me?
You blame me, don't you?
Yes.
I'm on it, though.
You want to continue doing it, don't you, MC-san?
Yes.
No, I think it would be better for Kansai members to join in and do it like this.
Only you, MC-san, will change.
This is the worst opinion.
This is the worst opinion, isn't it?
It's better like this, isn't it?
You don't know anything, do you?
Can I say something? Oda and I have been on Kansai Hakusho once.
Yes, how was it?
We were very happy.
Really?
Yes, we didn't cry at all.
We laughed too much and cried.
Yes, we had a stomachache.
I see. Then, please say the name of this program again.
"Bacchi Koi".
Yes, it's a "bacchi bacchi" program.
It's good, isn't it?
I see.
It's not a program for everyone to be happy. Is this program "happy koi"?
No, it's not!
We do it in Chiba too.
It's "bacchi bacchi" after all.
Yes, it is.
Let's stop this program.
Damn it! Let's stop this "damn it" program!
Then, here is the next opinion.
Living in Saitama Prefecture, male, 20 years old,
"bacchi koi" is good, but it's hidden in other programs.
Everyone's personality is clear and good.
I like Kanto members now.
"bacchi koi" is bad, but Suzuki-taku sometimes goes out.
Thank you.
Please stop it for a moment.
I think the first half is very good.
What do you think about it?
I'm happy.
Certainly.
I'm grateful.
It has its own personality.
What do you think about this good and bad points?
What do you think about the bad points, Oguri-san?
Well...
I think it's pure logic.
Is it pure logic?
Yes.
Look me in the eye and say it.
Pure logic.
Don't say "pure logic" like "I'm sorry".
I don't think so.
How old are you?
20 years old.
You don't know anything about society.
But it's a valuable opinion.
Everyone may think it's valuable.
I don't think so.
I think some people say it's because of Suzuki- taku.
Don't hang yourself.
Let's stop it.
Let's move on.
That's all.
Is that all?
Is that...
"Paho News".
That's all for tonight.
I'm Yoshikawa Nanase.
Have a good week.
(sniffing)
You can't get down at all.
"Punishment Act".
Here is the ending.
Today's Otachi University members!
Taku-chan, the tournament executive director, please announce the members who worked the hardest today.
I will announce it!
The one who will stand on the podium today is...
Oda!
Taku-chan, what was your decision?
Well, I'm glad it was stupid news, but...
I'm a little angry with the criticism of the second half.
No, I just said what was obvious.
What's obvious? Are you still in that mood?
It's okay now. You can go back to your usual Oda.
No, this is my usual Oda.
It's not your usual Oda! This is Doroje!
Well, everyone, how was today's match?
Well, Hidaya!
Well...
You have something to say, don't you?
"Funka"!
"Funka", right? "Funka"!
Can I say this?
It may be a dialect.
They say "funka".
Everyone says "funka", right?
If it's "funka", it's like...
It's like this, right?
Well, I think so.
Well, I wonder what it is.
Oh, "funka"!
"Funka"!
It's like this.
Well, it's like that.
Finally, with the audience,
we say goodbye with "batchikoi" call.
One, two...
"Batchikoi"!
Broadcasting station! Broadcasting station!
This has been the 48-second "hero interview".
How was it?
Well, during the debate,
there was an opinion that Taku-chan was "deshabari" too much.
I've always thought so, too.
No, wait a minute!
It's not "deshabari" too much.
Well...
But...
It's not "deshabari" too much.
There was also an opinion that everyone should be pulled out.
Not only that.
But the audience said "deshabari" too much.
Why don't you review it a little?
With that one opinion,
the program will change,
so I think it will be said that the TV is boring now.
But "Bachi Koi" is interesting, and because it is an interesting program, viewers also give such opinions, so I think it is better to accept it.
I have no intention of accepting it anymore! Because I think it is interesting!
Ta-dah!
This program was brought to you by the sponsors you see!
Everyone! I am now in the middle of the earth!
Everyone! How are you?
Like this!